Tender hearts, new year, slow farm days

We are back from our annual post Christmas visit to the farm – honestly my favourite week in the whole year. I said to Sue when we arrived on Wednesday afternoon absolutely exhausted from Christmas with the family – late nights and mess and endless cooking, that the farm is the place to me that really feels like coming home. We have had 18 New Years eves up there, and these years have bought with them an early marriage, one, two and three children, joy and loss. It’s everything to our family and to me. It’s the only place I seem to completely relax. I am looked after by Sue. The family loves it. We are all together. We was and drink like kings snd queens. We sleep well. We read. We swim, We fish. It’s everything.

We did nothing and it was perfect.

We cooked and ate under the wisteria and verandah under stars and a growing moon.

On New Years eve we let Alan’s ashes into the river 3 years to the minute that he died. It was a beautiful ceremony for us all, we listened to his music, we cried, we were together, as we were then, and we remembered him. I wrote a little more about that in this instagram post here.

On the first night that we got there we put music on and Iris DeMent’s song Our Town came on randomly. But nothing is ever random with music is it? This is such a special song to me, from crying on the finale of Northern Exposure, to hearing it play at my dear Uncle’s funeral 20 years ago now as his coffin left the church and we were all heartbroken.

And you know the sun’s settin’ fast,And just like they say, nothing good ever lasts.Well, go on now and kiss it goodbye,But hold on to your lover,‘Cause your heart’s bound to die.Go on now and say goodbye to our town, to our town.Can’t you see the sun’s settin’ down on our town, on our town,Goodnight.

I know that these summer moments won’t be here forever. The kids will be grown up soon enough and living their own lives. I know how people die, people move, things change, nothing ever stays the same. But I do know with everything that I hold onto the memories of this place as the very happiest that I ever have had in my lifetime. The saddest and the happiest. I cherish each and every one of them. There’s not many things in my life that have been constants. I hold onto routine and order because in my life there hasn’t always been that. Rob is my one true reliable and even keel. The farm, a home for my soul for so many years.

Thanks for looking after us Sue. And for all that you do to keep this place and it’s memories alive for us.

Happy New Years friends, from my tender heart, to yours.

Comments

  1. Denyse Whelan says

    So so special to read this Beth. I love the rhythms of your life…all of our lives really and your writing and pics just continue to inspire and help me feel the feelings too. Much love. Denyse xx

  2. Beautiful Beth. I hope there are a few more trips to the farm for you all. Xx

  3. The farm is clearly such a special place for you. How beautiful to have 18 years of memories so far. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

    May you have many more.

  4. So special you have this blog to remember all these special times and I love this holiday for you. Happy to hear you felt cared for and relaxed x

  5. love this for all of you

  6. Look at those girls you grew!

  7. ERICA MURDOCH says

    Beautifully words, Beth. And bitter sweet for me as I’m about to farewell a very special place for me – my late aunts place in Sydney. The house is being sold and I need to see it for one last time. So many memories in our very special places.

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