As the mist rose

Last week we had a run of freezing weather. The kind that crept through the floor even with the fire roaring and the central heating pumping out. The kind where the sun doesn't even seem to poke through the windows until almost 8, sparkling on the thick frost on the grass, trees and hedge outside. … [Read more...]

A little mid week woo woo

Most mornings I wake up and while Rob makes my morning coffee I spend a riveting 5 minute telling him the intricate details of whatever dream I have had. It must be truly fascinating for him (sorry Rob). I have always been a vivid dreamer, someone who has a strong intuition for things or people, … [Read more...]

He did, he did, he did

Before Rob's Dad died I remember reading, or having someone tell me that nursing someone when they are dying is much like witnessing and helping a birthing mother. The passage of life, both in and out similar in so many ways. I remember telling Rob, not knowing if we would all be there at the time, … [Read more...]

The year of firsts

Yesterday morning I woke up with a song in my head. It goes round and round, an itch that needs to be scratched until I listen to the song. This was Billy Joel's Allentown a song I loved as kid in the 80's, and one that become infamous again with my Father in law when it was his 60th and he hosted a … [Read more...]

Slow days, tears and stars

How are you going guys? We are nearing the end of our second week of school holidays that all seem to blend into one. The days have been slow and yet I'm now wondering how on earth we go back to home schooling next week and that routine? It's only been 4 weeks of this strange new world and yet it … [Read more...]

Finding what is lost

A few years ago we were up at the farm with the girls as we always are over one of the school holidays. My in laws had a close friend of theirs who lived not far from them ride on their property every week. She was about my age, maybe a little older, but her youngest was just a few years older than … [Read more...]

A hundred small goodbyes

My Mum's brother, my uncle, who we were all very close with and was like a father figure to the kids in our family died very suddenly almost 20 years ago now. I have been thinking a lot about the people I have loved in my life that have died since my father in law died, about my friends who have … [Read more...]

I guess that’s why they call it the blues…

We sat around the table on Christmas Day and listened as this came onto my playlist. Rob and I both started crying, knowing what was ahead us the next few weeks as we left the next day up to the farm to spend some time with Rob's Dad. We knew that we were getting close to the end and that the time … [Read more...]

It’s the 23rd of December

Somehow. SOMEHOW! It's been a crazy week - of celebrations, work, end of school, terrifying fire conditions and weather and a little well needed rest yesterday. It's quite the rollercoaster around these parts at the moment - with emotions and weather and to do lists...I still haven't sorted out all … [Read more...]

The roots that bind us

I've just come home from a very special weekend away with all of Rob's family. There was lots of laughter, sharing of memories, tears and stories and of course love. We were there with his Dad and step mum, his brother and wife, his two cousins and their husbands and us. A ramshackle group of adults … [Read more...]

Lessons in seeds

Remember back in March, on St Patrick's Day when I planted those sweet peas for Amelia? Well I walk past them every day because the pot is near my front door. I watched them shoot too quickly in April when the weather was still too warm, and they got confused. We all got confused. I … [Read more...]

Hello, from here

I woke up this morning, and you were the first thing I thought of. A year, a whole year passed since you left. I can't imagine how all your family and close friends are today, as they stop and remember you. It's not like we ever stop though. Reminded of you in small ways, almost every day. A … [Read more...]

The secrets of babies

I figured something out this weekend. Babies know secrets that we have all long forgotten. They KNOW stuff. Big stuff. We once knew it too I guess. I watched Maggie bring comfort to many people over the weekend as we farewelled Rob's Aunty who passed away after a battle for the past 5 or so … [Read more...]

Amelia

I got an email in early 2011 from a girl called Amelia. It started much in the way that emails do that I am lucky enough to get "Well this is weird because you don't know me...." and then, always then, the best bits. The bits where people open up and tell me their stories. And if I am even luckier … [Read more...]