Preggo files #13

The view from here (as inside my head looking out of my eyeballs):


It’s a little fuzzy. Things are getting fuzzier by the day…taking longer to do…everything it seems in one ear and out the other. With still quite some time to go I fear I will just have to resort to sitting and sign language.

I don’t want to alarm Kate, but she’s looking a little rough. I mean look at her reflection in this shot from yesterday. I might give her a call about facial hair removal techniques seeing as I am quite adept at growing them these days. Her hair still looks wonderful, as ever.


I wonder how Kate is otherwise? She has been busy out and about this week, donning a heel, coat and hat and getting amongst the people giving them what they want…HER.


I wonder if those natural pantyhose dig into her guts? I can’t think of anything worse at this stage, but then again, it’s been hot and humid of late which is never a pregnant woman’s friend. Apparently Kate was giving the world a secret sign that this means she is having a girl. Talk about scraping the barrel. At this stage I am going to be giving birth to a Schnoodle because all I seem to be wearing is black. Black jeans, and black t shirts.

She even had to stop and have a candid shot with Father in law because apparently her parents are taking over a little too much so she had to show she cares for Charlie and Camilla and nothing says love like a staged photo opportunity. The dude at the back is NOT buying it. I’m just impressed with the sheen on those heels.


And then overnight (our time) another visit! Another frock! The girl claims can be laid to rest, for she is having a BABY CHEETAH.


What goes in that clutch purse Kate? Your phone? Does she have a PHONE and does she check Instagram?

There have been some other babies born this past week. Tim and Kesh welcomed a baby boy last week….


And then Jodi From Practising Simplicity had her baby boy a few days ago.


I was like a stalker on Instagram checking in every now and then to see “has the baby come? HAS THE BABY COME?” I will totally approve of this when I am near to my due date, just please don’t ask ME “Has the baby come?” Don’t say that shit out loud, but I give 100% approval for you to ask yourself out loud in your own home. Babies! I remember both these guys announcing their pregnancies when I was about 4 seconds pregnant and feeling like shite, and now they are here. Whole new members of families. WHOLE people! Sheesh.


Speaking of families, how lovely was the lunch that my sister put together for me on Monday? I am still thinking about that lovely setting and all the beautiful gifts now.

Someone was kind enough to send me a recipe link for coconut rough this week. Chocolate and coconut huh? 2 ingredients? Anyone got another they care to share with me? Do you really just toast the coconut and add to melted chocolate? GIMME.


8. This goat is just happy to be a month away from having a glass of wine again.

Funnily enough, I was tagged a number of times on this post that did the rounds last week. I think that goat is my spirit animal. Did you see it? 16 enormously pregnant animals. Anyone who is almost due or overdue should take a look for a giggle here.

And just in case anyone was worried that I’m not able to keep up my literary pace that I started with at the beginning of the year, never fear, I have something special by my bed keeping me company.


My little sister grabbed me this when she was up last week (in a quick sale bin outside the news agency). I cannot begin to tell you how much I read these when I was a little girl. I ADORED a Betty & Veronica Double Digest…always my read of choice when we were on road trips. I wanted to be Betty of course…so wholesome and blonde! Between these and my pine orange poppas I am reverting to my 9 year old self with gusto.

In other news, The Great British bake off FINAL is on tonight! This equally pleases me and makes me sad because it will be over, but it will be better off in the long run as I won’t be spending my Friday’s trying to eat all of the things that have been cooked in the weekly show stoppers. No more pies and tarts and CAKES. Maybe.

Craving: Peanut M&M’s. I won’t stop until they are in my possession at some stage today.

Drinking: Water. Plain old cold water. I have to go and get the replacement canister things for our Soda Stream so it’s been water, and I must say, it’s been good.

Dreaming: What’s that? Don’t you have to be asleep for dreams to happen? Apparently sleep is overrated and when I AM doing it, I am snoring so loudly that I wake myself up. How revolting.

Worrying: That it is never going to cool down. The humidity needs to get evicted off this pregnancy island immediately.

Cheers to you friends with some of the simple best….an ice cold glass of milk, usually had when the kids are asleep, the laptop has been closed and the couch is about to be hit.


I know Kate! NO MILO. I had you worried for a minute there didn’t I? I’m proud too. As will my ob be when she weighs me in again on Tuesday. I fear I will look like that goat above when I sit down in her office.


Anyone else growing some good hormonal facial hair?
Is Kate having a  baby boy, girl or baby cheetah?
Will Frank raise my baby Schnoodle as his own?
Who will win the GBBO FINAL TONIGHT?


  1. Oh my gosh!! Betty and Veronica sure does bring back some memories!! It gave all of us redheads hope that people really did find us attractive, after all Archie had 2 girls constantly fighting over him, how those girls managed to stay friends is beyond me.

  2. I am living for your Preggo Files right now. Farrrrr out it makes me laugh. Thank you x

  3. I’m hoping that builder dude wins. Star baker a record FIVE times! Plus he seems very nice & humble & I like that. What I want to know though is how did the lady make it this far????

    • Reannon I was disappointed to say the least…NANCY? She was consistent sure, but the boys were better throughout the whole competition I thought.

  4. Do love your preggo files.. those animals.. too funny x

  5. I love lil George and want Kate to be having a girl just so I can see what the combo of Wills and Kate in girl form looks like and ohmygosh, the name if its a girl too.
    I am in agreement, these preggo files are the best

  6. No way just one month to go, sorry but that’s raced by for me. Thoughtful mole I am. I’ve just had a dear friend had her 4th last week, and I had forgotten about all those cute snuffly noises newborns make.

  7. I love your Preggo Files!!! How fabulous is Kate – look at that hair, the pony tail just swishing like a boss, I bet you look like her twin sister Bev, just not identical…. Bloody last weeks of pregnancy…..ohhhh god – just get it out….that is what you are thinking right??? And wriggle, no wonder you can’t sleep, when you want to sleep the baby wants to be an acrobat! Have a great day.

  8. Beth, I think you’ve finally lost it. Your posts are getting more hilarious as the pregnancy progresses. I was in your area last week. I hit your local pub (as you suggested) with mum & the 3 cherubs. Beautiful. Picturesque. It was hard to return to Sydney. The northern beaches are lovely but the Highlands just sings doesn’t it. I do hope you do the DnA festival again this year as last year I missed out because bub was too little.

  9. Lisa Mckenzie says

    Love your PREGGO files they never not make me laugh Beth xx

  10. Peanut M&Ms are my absolute favourite! Yum! And yes, I’ll be your random hormonal facial hair sister. I like to call them my freak hairs and they appear sporadically (and generally more so on my left side, strangely) thanks to my PCOS. Fun times! x

  11. Mmm peanut M&Ms… I craved chocolatey peanutty goodness while knocked up (ooh snickers!) and it hasn’t left me 5 months later.
    Poor Kate, I reckon the last thing she wanted to do at 8 months preggo was slip on a pair of heels even as gorgeous a pair as those. I wonder if she’s ever felt like that goat?

  12. Not long now (at least for us) There seems to be a lot of babes being born at the moment. Makes me clucky but I’m an old goat now. lol

  13. Hi Beth, when are you due? I am due in June with #2 and looking forward to the cooler weather also!
    Also I am proud of you for not having milo, I am up to my third today… What can I say?!? If I crave it, I gotta HAVE it!

  14. I loved those animals…I could totally relate.
    And I have been a total Instagram baby stalker too. And when I was pregnant my friends said they would check to see when I had last liked something…I guess with the thought that if I hadn’t been on in a day or so I would be in labour? What did we do before social media?

  15. Georgie Ross says

    Can’t tell you how much I love your Preggo Files Beth, you are so bloody funny, I also wonder whether Kate checks Instagram …… and if she has a secret account of her own?!

  16. That goat made me giggle.
    And what’s with Milo cravings?? I had them so bad when I was preggo with the Little Mister!

  17. My pregnancies were a joyous time of insomnia broken by intermittent dream filled naps in which I apparently snored like a truck driver. I could even snore lying on my tummy (before too big).

  18. I love these Preggo Files so hard. I hope you’re going to go overboard with the baby spam when s/he arrives because I will need my attention diverted from the vast abyss that is the lack of Preggo Files. They’re Kate-tastic! Personally I think Kate will give birth to some mythical creature, half woman, half cheetah or maybe just a girl who is a really fast runner. I like that you are the lady in black and keeping your baby cards close to your chest… will it be a boy, a girl or a schnoodle?!

  19. You can’t be Betty, I want to be Betty!!

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