You’re drunk Martha, go home: Chocolate puddings

I saw this video come through on Martha’s Facebook page last week and I was intrigued. I mean the stuff looked like sweet, thick, chocolate custard or mousse. And given my dairy desires when duffed (my idea of heaven would be to bathe in chocolate yogo whilst sipping on a thick shake with a cold glass of milk chaser) I knew I would have to try it.

Then I watched the video. Hmmm.

What magic was this that makes avocado look like chocolate deliciousness? And could it taste OK given that it takes about 3 mins to make? And is there a reason WHY the woman making it takes a tiny spoonful each time she tells us of it’s deliciousness? Are these no sugar, paleo (I have no idea if this is that merely making a sweeping generalisation for my point) people onto something?

It was my duty to find out friends! If there was a chance I could make something tasty from nothing that could be potentially be tasty, then by God this overweight pregnant woman was going to do it!

Chocolate Puddings

3 ripe avocados
6 tablespoons cocoa powder
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 cup raw honey
Sea salt

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I set up the video, set up my food processor, and away I went.

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1. You scoop out the flesh of the avocados and add into your food processor along with the honey, cocoa and vanilla and whack it on until well mixed (takes only a minute or so)

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2. See it’s at this point that you think HOLY SHIT THIS IS MAGIC. Look how delicious that looks! Thick, custardy, chocolate pudding. GIMME. Don’t be tempted to lick the spoon or bowl at this stage because the woman making it didn’t, and I have some restraint dammit. OK, I totally did and then stamped my foot in disappointment. Brown, untasty, guacamole. Bummer.

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3. I carried on nonetheless, spooned them into glasses and into the fridge for an after dinner “treat: for the family. The girls lost their shit when they opened the fridge and saw them there and I totally got at least 4 more veggie mouthfuls in at dinner time in the promise of their “chocolate mousse”. Snigger.

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I served them up with a sprinkle of sea salt. Really Martha? This is notย dulce de lecheย come on already! Both girls took a huge mouthful and really tried to like it. “It’s rich Mum!”. We added some strawberries that added a little sweetness that added a little NICENESS to it, but you can see after 10 minutes or so of pushing it around the glasses, they were mostly left.

We’re talking a GREAT consistency. Rich, chocolate flavour and that’s about it. Kind of like cocoa glue that LOOKS FANTASTIC. A little amount in a glass served with a selection of other bits and pieces that were actually SWEET for a table full of vegans and this could be PERFECT. Just not my thing.

And now I have an unhealthy hankering for Chocolate Yogo. Thanks Martha.

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Reminded me of my other recipe disaster: the 2 ingredient pancakes that were also shite.

So tell me what I did wrong?
Attempting a dessert with a base of avocado?
Not adding any kind of sweetener to it?
Anyone else had a crack and LOVED IT?

Comments

  1. My sister does this sort of stuff all the time with all her paleo, paleo, paleo devotion and I am always disappointed, there is def a difference in sweetness and I like hardcore refined sugar sweetness when it comes to dessert and any kind of treats. Dulce de leche …mmm

  2. Ha ha ha ha. YoGo – god Beth, haven’t had that since I was at school!!! Remember the Strawberry YoGo? Choc was definitely superior. Glad you did a test run on this crappy recipe, to save us all, ha ha ha. Love that the girls “lost their shit” when they saw it, poor little things must have been so disappointed, ha ha ha. x

  3. Been there. Tried that. Concur. It’s not chocolate mousse and it never will be! ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Meanwhile Nigella Lawson just posted a nutella chocolate cake. Thats the way to go Bev!

  5. Nah come on! Its the cocoa. No good for you and tastes terrible. Try this – healthy and delicious. So healthy in fact its suitable for breakfast ๐Ÿ™‚
    http://quirkycooking.blogspot.com.au/2012/09/raw-vegan-chocolate-mousse.html

  6. My Mum made this ‘mousse’ for my husband and I for christmas (really healthy mum)….agree it’s a great texture, though utterly disappointing on tasting. Reminds me of the time I was given ‘thick cream’ on top of a warmed apple pie, that actually turned out to be greek yogurt (mum again!), what a rude shock…..I thought it was curdled cream. Ruined apple pie for me to this day.

  7. Have also had terrible results with avocado double chocolate biscuits and other “healthy treats”. Now I’ve given up and just bake something delicious to eat in small quantities!

  8. It can taste good.. less cocoa, more creamy nuts and dates to sweeten.. promise ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. Chocolate and avocado. I’m sorry, that’s a match made in hell.

  10. One of my sons had a friend from the Philippines who was amazed we used avocados as savoury. He was used to avocado ice cream, avocado milkshakes etc.

    I think I agree with another commenter. Too much cocoa powder is not a good thing. Melted chocolate, although that would defeat the purpose of the recipe.

  11. deborah jefferis says

    I don’t like it. Avocado should be on toast with goats fetta or guacamole with corn chips. I don’t like frozen banana “icecream” either!

  12. I was never convinced about avocado chocolate mousse, it just seemed a bit far fetched. But I do have a two ingredient chocolate mousse that is out of this world and it uses just 200 grams if Lindt 80% dark chocolate and 2/3 cup of water. Mix chocolate and water together in a saucepan on low heat and when melted pour into a bowl sitting in a larger bowl of ice. Beat with an electric mixer until the consistency of thickened cream and either serve immediately or chill until you want it. It really works!!! And I have a homemade version of chocolate yogo that my kids love on plate4eight. I’m having issues with my theme at the moment and my menu has disappeared (always handy!) so just google plate4eight.com kids chocolate dessert and you will find it, so much cheaper and less sickly than the store bought stuff. I never really liked chocolate until my first pregnancy, now I love it. Baby wants what baby wants I say!

  13. This looks really good! A pudding without the extra calories, i like it.:)

  14. I LOVE avocado but its got no business being in a smoothie or dessert. The end.

  15. Have you heard of the healthy brownies using a can of chickpeas. Don’t even bother with that either, yuck. I think if your going to be healthy just enjoy the good stuff occasionally, life’s to short to miss out on decadent desserts.

  16. Just buy Yogo. Or a jar of Nutella. Or whip up some Jamie Oliver chocolate pots. You can see on the womans face that she is soooooo hating it, and trying to think of something nice to say. Note that delicious was not mentioned!

  17. Can I just say: best title of a blog post I’ve ever seen.

    Bleurgh! And I’m so glad to know someone else has never succeeded at that banana + egg = delicious pancake bullshit. x

  18. This one tastes like chocolate yogo, it’s delicious!! You can put in a little less sugar if you’re concerned, or add a mashed banana for extra sweetness. If you freeze it in moulds, it tastes like a chocolate paddle pop. Yep.
    https://www.stayathomemum.com.au/recipes/homemade-chocolate-yogo/

  19. When Boo was everyfuckingthingfree I made him a Green Eggs and Ham cake iced with avocado icing. Just avo and icing sugar.

    Delicious!

  20. I did try the two ingredient pizza dough! amazing which is just a cup of Greek yoghurt and a cup of wholemeal flour. And like a banana frozen yoghurt- frozen plain yoghurt of choice, I used Greek and frozen bananas. Stick in the food processor! Again amazing! I did sprinkle mine with dark choc chips. My baby and my nieces and nephews love it!!!

  21. Meli Searle says

    You did nothing wrong…I have made something really similar. SOOO disappointing seeing it looked so much like chocolate. Yeah, hand me that Yogo….ok, I’ll get my own ๐Ÿ˜‰

  22. Haha I’m trying to shift weight post baby and came across a supposedly delicious smoothie with bananna, avocado, organic cacao powder and coconut milk and thought all the cool kids are doing it, it can’t be too bad. Hubby was leaving for work as I was making it and said straight out ‘I guarantee you that will taste like shit”. He isn’t right very often but this time he was on the money! H.O.R.R.I.B.L.E.

  23. you did nothing wrong, it’s gross. Like the one that uses tofu. Ick vomit eww. Seriously, just eat real food. Including traditional treaties in moderation. Diets and rude trickery like this just induce the stress making area of your brain (Tis true, just normally explained a bit more scientifically) so really, enjoy good food. Not this stuff. It’s wrong.

  24. I’d blame the recipe not what you did. I have made an avocado mousse and it was delish, it had twice as much honey in it and maple syrup too so it was super sweet and yummy. I’ll give you my link it you feel brave and want to give an avocado mousse again:)
    http://www.atimetocreate.blogspot.com.au/2014/06/178365.html

  25. Life is too short to eat fake chocolate pudding. That’s all I have to say on the matter!

  26. Screw that, give me a block of dairy milk, even if it is shrinking

  27. Ok, so I just read “anyone else had crack and loved it?” did a double take… Just make chocolate mousse, put the avo on a blt or in a salad, where they belong ๐Ÿ™‚

  28. Lisa Mckenzie says

    Yep nothing with avocado tastes like mousse,like the cake I made the other day buckwheat pear bread yuck it was nasty,everything in moderation I say!

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