Autumn: A lesson in surrendering

Today is the 1st of May 2018. I reminded Rob this morning that it was 14 years ago today that we celebrated our engagement with friends and family on the rooftop of a Darlinghurst bar on a superb Sunny autumn day much like the one we are enjoying here today.

I had to find a photo to show the girls of course and then got trapped down a rabbit hole old school photo album where we went down memory lane looking at our early married life together up until I was pregnant with Daisy and the album ran out. Here we are at our engagement party on the 1st May 2004.

All the funny hand written notes next to the photos with names and dates, scores of backgammon tournaments, happy, well rested (childfree!) faces looking back at us. It seems a lifetime AND 5 minutes ago. So many years and adventures since.

Order has been restored this morning with the big two girls back at school and things much quieter here at home with my side kick. We popped into Preschool this morning to finally fill out those forms I have been putting off for so long. An old familiar face opened the door when we arrived, Lee, the carer who was there when Daisy and Harper were there, she was my life line every time I dropped off our nerfous Nelly Harper who cried each and every time we dropped her off. For years. We hugged, looked at photos of the big girls and looked down at little Mags who suddenly seemed very small in that big room.

Again it seemed like no time that forever that we were there with Daisy when we first moved down here.

The weather has finally cooled down and autumn is here at last. I had an insightful comment from a reader just last night who said that the endless summer has been so unsettling for so many. She is a gardener and having seen my own brother in law who works in gardens work 7 days forever, there doesn’t seem to be a slowing down at all, no pause which is so important for all of us, not just the gardeners. We need autumn to come, we need winter, a break and a pause to slow down and catch our breaths. For someone like me, so in tune with the seasons because of where we live, I am sure it has had a lot to do with my current state of unsettledness.

We took a walk on Sunday afternoon with Frank and the girls and literally drank in the afternoon autumn beauty. Maggie would bathe in Autumn leaves every day if she could.

Those leaves that were holding on so long in that late summer warmth are finally letting go and having their time to shine and of course then let go.

A reminder from nature again, that no matter where things get stuck, that eventually the season will turn, things will pass and move on.
That even in death that things can be beautiful.
That no one thing can bloom all year round.
That even in the coldest of winters that Spring will come.
Sometimes it’s important to just be and trust that things will be when they will be.

And that soon enough we will look back and wonder at how it could be that Maggie was ever that small, that those days at home together were so precious. That we looked so young, despite being 14 years older than we were when we began.

Life huh.

If you, like so many others are feeling stuck in a season, a moment, a shitty time, go and find an autumn tree to look at and be reminded again that things will turn.

They always do.

Comments

  1. You’ve basically nailed my mantra here Beth!

    “go and find an autumn tree to look at and be reminded again that things will turn”

    YES! This is so true. SEASONS aren’t just for trees, they’re for our hearts, our marriages, our children, personal growth, nurture, sadness – all of the things that make up our lives.

    Everything changes. Everything unfolds. Everything goes on, as nature intended it to.

  2. Claire says:

    After a challenging time recently I got 2 small Uberkate necklace rings made for my daughter and me. They say “Have Faith”. One word on each side of the ring. To remind us both that sometimes we cant fix or change things but we have to keep trying and have faith that things will work out. I find when I’m wearing mine I unconsciously hold and rub it. It is a really good tactile reminder that my job as a parent isn’t to fix everything or worry about everything but to have faith that it will be ok in the long run. Parenting adult children (3 of my 4 are adults) is an exercise in letting go and Im learning!! Every new stage and season has its joys and challenges. Thank you for such beautiful images.

  3. I loved reading this, especially about autumn. Good advice and definitely something to remember. x

  4. Thank you for this beautiful post and your fabulous photos. I could look at Maggie delighting in autumn leaves for ever. The leaves are slowly turning here though we don’t yet have your gorgeous displays. But it’ll happen as it always does. Nature is so comforting in all her seasons. Autumn and spring are my favourites but they seem to pass more quickly with each year. We go from summer to winter in the blink of an eye without enough time to enjoy the transition.

  5. Here in the Midwest, USA we were feeling like winter would never end. It felt like January all the way up until about a week ago! I kept telling myself the same thing though, Spring will come. You’re finally getting your fall and we’re finally getting our spring! While Spring took forever our lives seemed to whiz by. My husband and I are in the fall season of life and will be celebrating 28 years of marriage on May 5. Life like nature changes quickly.

  6. Tanya Arpadi says:

    Beautifully said (written) Beth. You are wise beyond your years. I just bought a bracelet, and had it engraved with three things: breath, be present and surrender! T x

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