It takes two: Sharing your pregnancy & baby experience with a friend or loved one

A sponsored post for Bupa

I don’t know if you have been lucky enough to share a pregnancy or been due around the same time as a friend or family member, but there is certainly something very special about it.

When I fell pregnant with Daisy, my bestie from High School (and bridesmaid and former flat mate of Rob who actually set us up) was pregnant at the same time. She was a little behind me…a few months…but it was our first pregnancy for both of us and a really special time to share. All those questions and feelings, there is nothing better than being able to share with someone who will not only get it, but be able to share the nitty gritty of it…hemorrhoids and all!

We shared antenatal classes together (although we did it at home with a midwife coming in and we watched her over cheese platters) and I bought my first baby into the world 2 months before she did, almost to the day. I think we even timed our second babies around the same time – with the same amount of distance between the births again – I’ll never forget her telling me in line for tickets to the Easter Show. I missed her third baby, as I was completely undecided on that, while she was keen to keep going.

Growing up with my own sister having 5 years apart, she was always a little behind when it came to starting her own family. She had been an amazing Aunt to all the nieces and nephews that my brother and sister and I had, always complaining about how everyone would be so grown up by the time she got started.

The umm-ing and ahh-ing about our third baby paid off for her though as I was STILL undecided when she fell pregnant with Archie. I remember her calling me while at the gym just before we left on our big family holiday to Croatia and being SO excited that she had made the leap and was on her way to her own family.

The trip away was meant to be a time for us to decide once and for all if we were going to go again. After 6 weeks on holidays having THE best time, I was certain that we weren’t going to do it. We could holiday and be in one room, we all fit in hire cars etc, no, we were not doing it. So of course I threw out ALL of the baby things that I was holding onto. The cot. The pram. I left the clothes for Luce in case she had a girl, but other than that we were done.

Until we weren’t. You can read a little more into the back-story of how Maggie came to be in this post here. Obviously when I spoke to my little sister and told her we were thinking about going again she could not say loud enough DO IT! And so we did.

Being pregnant together with my little sister was one of the most precious times for me…ever! We got to bring those endless make believe games of dolls to life as we tackled it together.

While it was my third time, I of course still no HAD clue what I was doing, so I looked ahead to her (she was 5 months ahead of me) on what was going on, how I was feeling, and hints and tips on what to buy seeing as I had thrown out EVERYTHING and had to start all over again! I loved being able to comfort her, calm down her fears and teach her to trust herself: all the things that I wish I could have told me if I was starting out again, it was big sistering in the most loving and beautiful way. It makes me cry just thinking about it.

We also got to share dumplings and pancakes together, cause you know, cravings!

We got to work out what was the best cure for this or that…

And it gave my girls a really good understanding for what was ahead of them as big sisters.

When Archie was born, and so beautifully done by my sister it was such a great goal for me to work towards as I got fatter and more tired (I was 5 years older than her!). It made it all SO real that there’s a BABY at the end of this journey…Archie helped me out at the end of my pregnancy more than he will ever know.

When I was ready to give birth, Lucy was my go-to person to be here. Seeing Archie and having her with my two girls made all the difference in it being an easy transition. She totally pumped me up for my best birth of the three.

And as for Maggie and Archie?

Well while there may be 5 months between them, their souls are forever together as they have grown up like twins as brother and sister.

Whilst she has gone on to have Dorothy this year, and my ship has definitely sailed on us having any more children, I will never forget these past 3 years and all that shared experience has given me. Sharing the journey can make all the difference in what can be a lonely time (especially for the first time Mum). It gives you a soundboard, someone to confide and trust in, someone to look up to and be a cheerleader of, and then of course once that baby is born, a friend for them for life.

What a gift for them…and us.

Bupa are committed to providing support, guidance and inspiration for new and expectant parents through their First 1000 days campaign. You can check out the full range of resources available online here.

I’d love to hear about your shared pregnancy or baby journey with a friend or family member.

What was the age gap?
How did they help in pregnancy, birth and beyond?
And are your kids now friends?

Comments

  1. My sister and I did my 3rd and her 2nd pregnancy together. She rang to tell me she was pregnant by saying “so I need to borrow your bassinet again” to which I replied “sorry but we’re going to need it” and we both started talking and squealing at the same time. 7 years on and our babies are 10 weeks apart and still best buds. Having your sister pregnant with you is the best, and raising your kids with them is even better.

  2. Maggie and Archie have something so special. A bond you can see in their faces when they’re together. I so love seeing pictures of them together. That is something you and they will treasure forever. It makes me smile to see them.

  3. Oh I had a little tear in my eye reading and watching this, and I don’t even know you! How lovely to have that experience with your sister Beth. Gorgeous little cousins. Beautifully done video, one to treasure for sure.
    All the best and thanks for sharing!
    LizXX

  4. These two cherubs are darling, they have a bond that will last a lifetime. xx

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