Preggo files #19

Oh hi you guys!


You totally did it! Got that babe from the inside, out. And boy did you do it in style Kate! NUDE PUMPS nonetheless! Wills is all like, how good is my Mrs? Peace OUT people I nailed it in the marriage stakes.


Her Royal Highness Princess Charlotte Elizabeth Diana of Cambridge was born on Saturday 2nd May and I was quite beside myself watching the whole thing unfold. Occupation? PRINCESS OF THE UNITED KINGDOM is all.

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From what I can gather, Kate did some pre labouring at home, rolled up to the Lindo Wing sometime after and popped that sweet baby girl out 2 hours later with mid wives doing all the hard work with her. Wills was present (and showed no bum crack when picking up that sweet boy).


George popped in for a quick visit to meet his sister then was whisked home whilst Kate got her shit together well and truly: shower, frock on, hair done, pumps and pantyhose on and she was out that door giving the people what they wanted. What a trooper. Those oxytocins must have been coursing through her veins because truly it was a miracle to watch. NUDE PUMPS PEOPLE. LIP GLOSS. HAIR DID.

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There’s been many a discussion about what Kate did and didn’t do. What she has or hasn’t done for women who will feel or not feel that they have to be able to do this. Meh. I’ve seen girlfriends head home 2 hours after giving birth (sure, in trackies and breastfeeding singlets and slippers) but home. A good vaginal delivery and a desire to get home is enough reason to get some ladies home to the safety and comfort of their nest. Others may love the idea of time away in a hospital endlessly ticking off food options and receiving guests and putting the babe into a nursery at night. Your baby. Your body. Your choice. The first of many you make as a Mum which is based on gut feeling. As I said to my Ob on Tuesday morning when we discussed it at length that Kate still has to change her surfboard maternity pad like the rest of us. Still has to feel that pain as the baby latches badly, or be a crazy hormonal person when her milk comes in. That bit is all the same no matter where we come from, what we look like. I bet you she was home in her pi’s, make up off, slippers on and tea and toast made quicker than you can say Charlotte Elizabeth Diana!  And from what I hear, they are all about to piss off to their country estate where she can hang with her Mum and eat baked goods away from the big smoke. I get it lady, I get it.

LOVED this celebratory cake whipped up by Jamie to mark the occasion. A lemon drizzle nonetheless! I could smash my face into it like a 1 year old at their birthday party so fierce is my passion for baked goods at this late stage of the pregnancy. GIMME.


So it appears that I keep thinking I am in pre-labour, when in fact I have just eaten too much dinner. Every time! I get all uncomfortable, get some Toni’s, start walking around, huff and complain and huff some more, try and get comfortable and eventually just fart and feel better. All glamour has left the building. It’s not pretty friends, not pretty at all. Did you see the visual in my post last week? Apologies to those that have seen it, I just wanted you all to see what we are dealing with here. A basketball, under my skin, that does not stop moving around.


Saw my ob and everything is where it needs to be, we just need that babe to  come out when its ready. Locked and loaded. I’m trying to lay off the big dinners so I don’t keep mistaking labour for a good fart. You think I’d know this stuff by now right? Nup. It’s been too long between drinks friends, I have forgotten everything.

The shopping conveyor belt is looking like this:


Maternity pads and soap lux flakes.

My younger sister totally guilted me into using the soap flakes again when I told her I was thinking about just washing the baby clothes in normal Cold Power. Apparently that was not OK. Never fear, today I sorted it out good and proper and now have teeny tiny things all folded in the drawers. Would you look at the SIZE of these socks? Stop! (don’t stop).

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There has been a flurry of baby activity strangely enough from Rob who is leading the nesting behaviour this week. Capsule for the car? Hired and installed! Broken chook pen? Sorted! Messy lawn? Dealt with with a PUSH mower given that the part needed for our ride on is on back order. PUSHY. He is in the zone! I went to Target today to get my 5 pack of size 16 black undies for the hospital. I got some new trakkie pants and tops (leisure wear of you will) for hospital and post first week home attire. Breast pads? Nappy sacks? Wraps? Change table mattress? Cot made? Clothes washed? Tick! Tick! Tick! Tick! Tick! Tick! Tickety TICK! Floors are washed, windows cleaned. Baby can come. We’re ready.


See? You can come baby, the floor is clean.


Had quite the flurry of activity at the village Anzac ceremony a few weeks back. Everyone was keen to rub the belly and hand out their guesses on boy/girl/basketball and advice. My favourite was from an older lady called Bev who advised me that I should be having a stout a day at this late stage. Apparently it will be good for my milk? Or maybe just my mental well being? In any case, I had a stout not long after and can confirm it was the tastiest thing I have had in some time. Haven’t had one since, but it was very good nonetheless.

Got a squeeze of this guy late Sunday afternoon. Archie!


He’s getting big. Starting to have some food and everything now. That little newborn is turning into a bruiser…such a good reminder for me to savour those first moments of out little one, for they go by so quickly.

You’ll never guess what else I did!


I totally made some casserole and portioned into TUPPERWARE AND FROZE IT. I don’t even know who I am anymore either. I’m not sure anything else will be made (maybe some date loaves and banana breads  that can be whacked into lunch boxes if I can be bovvered, but as I said, the nesting is waning and the desire to eat baked goods and sit and fart comfortably on the couch is taking over.

Craving: More stout, baked goods, being comfortable, being able to sleep soundly, non gas related pains you know, the norm.

Drinking: Water. So much water. So thirsty all of the time. Might have something to do with the intake of salty snacks also being consumed.

Dreaming: Of meeting this baby. Endlessly wondering about how they will enter the world, how they will fit in, how the girls will react, how breastfeeding will go, how I will feel emotionally and physically, what their name will be. You know, the norm. Also not getting all that much sleep as you can see. Snoring has also reached fever pitch. I sound like a truck driver pulled over on the side of the M5. Honestly, Rob is a saint.

Cheers to you friends with the finest iced chocolate this side of Oz. It actually may be a little bit magical because it is THAT good and has freaking persian fairy floss on top of it!


If anyone needs me over the next week I will be on the couch, in a soft pant, in my slippers, by the fire, farting in comfort. Much what I hope Kate is up to.


And for all you Mum’s and Mum’s to be out there I wish you a very Happy Mothers Day on Sunday. For all of you hoping to get pregnant, mourning lost babies and children that are no longer with us, those wishing with all their hearts to be a Mum, those missing their own Mums, I wish ALL of you, all of us a happy day. Motherhood is one of the hardest things I’ve done. It’s just plain hard work and can be exhausting. It’s also the very best thing, a privilege and a joy to grow a child, bring them into the world and raise them to be actual people. What a ride. I am extremely proud of the Mum that I am to my kids. Sure I yell and swear and sometimes feed them the wrong things and say inappropriate things to them, but we’re all doing OK. They know right from wrong, can laugh at themselves and are kind and happy and loved. And I know that I’ll be OK again. As much as those nagging thoughts and seeds of self doubt keep telling me otherwise in this final stage of pregnancy. I’ve got this. I can do this.

We all can. Even Kate. In nude pumps x


  1. So I am trying to wake up in bed thus morning listening to the news. Doze off and take over the news in my dream. There is Beth on Mothers Day morning having given birth to the first mothers day baby in Australia. You won a golden ticket (no idea to where), some money (no idea how much) and it was a boy who you called Archie. In your interview you said your sister was probably never going to talk to you again. Then you were talking about Kate. Weirdest dream ever!

  2. Well this all sounds pretty imminent 🙂 Best of luck for it all!

  3. I am a little jealous! My tiny newborn is now 8 months old (what happened??) and I am nostalgic for the nesting, feet up, packing the bags days. I loved packing the hospital bag and preparing to bring the baby home. Even though I did use Cold Power the second time around I still have a box of Lux flakes on the laundry shelf, and I’m not too proud to admit I sniff it every now and then to take me back to the exciting days before my first was born. So excited for you and can’t wait to hear when the bub arrives!

  4. Lisa mckenzie says

    I know I never looked as good as kate after the birth of my babies it was all soft pant and breast pads and a boy of a blur to be honest.Youve been a busy girl I hope you don’t have to wait too long to see your baby Beth,go easy and rest and Thankyou for remembering the people with children and mothers this year its horrible I hate this Morhers day and all the advertising! You gave a lovely Mother’s Day Beth And good luck Xx

  5. I am so excited for you Beth!! Oh how I’d love to be in your state right now.Why just when I’m about to hit the big 4_0 am I so clucky??
    Anyway something I’m wondering about…. There’s been 5 years between babes. What’s the one thing you will use now that wasn’t around or you didn’t know about back then? I see so many new products and I often think if I were to do it all again what would I do differently. SoI was wondering if there was anything new you were going to try this time around.
    Wishing you an easy birth and a safe an happy arrival. Can’t wait to see those baby pics!
    Love to you all xo

    • I am still in denial about all the news things! Haven’t stepped into a baby shop and so have NO idea what’s even out there. What I don’t know about won’t kill me right? I got some Lil Fraser wraps and that’s the only new thing so far!!

  6. Yvonne Duke says

    Hope you get a few days to veg out before the baby comes ! Just love reading your blog ! Good luck x

  7. Sharon Cecil says

    I can’t stop staring at Kate’s ankles in those heels. I had so much fluid retention! Never forget my sister coming to visit me in hospital and she couldn’t stop laughing at my cankles! And Kate’s leaving hospital in nude pumps? Wowza! Good luck with your bub! So exciting! X

  8. Sometimes I think the whole “mummy wars” thing is a little bit invented. I’m not sure anyone was really shaming Kate? I saw lots of articles about how wonderful she looked and how we were thankful that we didn’t have to do that after giving birth. Then I saw a heap of articles about how we should stop Mummy shaming her. Where were the mummy shaming articles?

    I think she looked beautiful. She didn’t stack on the weight during pregnancy and had a hairdresser to come in and do her hair. Those things help.

    I had the most amazing birth experience with my second child and I felt like Kate looked. I’m sure I didn’t look like that but those post birth hormones were amazing. I really felt on top of the world. I’m glad that I didn’t have to stand outside the hospital in front of hundreds of photographers though.

    Wishing you all the best for the birth of number three! Get ready for the roller coaster of that first year (is there anyway to be prepared? I don’t think so….)

    Oh, and I didn’t wash any of my kids’ clothes in luxe soap flakes. They didn’t even get sensitive washing powder. Is it the school of hard knocks at my house?

  9. Good GOD woman you make me laugh (well snigger quietly on the bus…) x

  10. merilyn says

    you are a good’n beth!
    yes how incredible did kate look! … yes and she still had to do the work!
    they are the perfect role models!
    hope all goes swimmingly for you hun! … the stout sounds good!;)
    your house is in order! … you should be pleased with yourself! … floors magnifique!
    much love m:)X

  11. I was just planning on using some sensitive washing liquid, are the lux flakes a necessity? They seem really fiddly, especially because I have a front loader.
    My nesting is ramping up. I inexplicably cleaned out our study last weekend. It just needed to be done! I was worried it wasn’t going to come because of the sheer exhaustion I’ve been experiencing but it seems to have finally caught up with me.
    Sounds like you’re all ready for bubba to come! Now it’s just the annoying waiting part.

  12. Elisabeth says

    Great post Beth. All of it. All the best for a smooth delivery of a healthy bub.

  13. Flickster says

    Toni’s – made my day!!!!

  14. Ditch the size 16 undies and the surfboards and go straight to the tena disposable undies. Best thing I ever did. Nappies for everyone!! Can’t wait to hear your news over the coming weeks.

  15. What a beautiful post, love the bump photo. x

  16. I just love you Beth, in a totally non weird, not stalker-y way, I just love you. Who takes pictures of maternity pads at the supermarket? Beth that’s who. Made me laugh. My hot tip for pads is use as many of the hospital ones as you can because they are bigger, wider, longer & in those first 24 hours you need all the coverage for those black knickers as you can get.
    All the love & luck to you over these next few days/ week or however long it takes for this baby if yours to decide to come. xx

  17. Oh Beth you make me laugh ! All I could think of as I binge watched Kate & Will leaving hospital with their new baby was about poor Kate in those maternity surfboards underneath that lovely dress. Even though it was only a few minutes it must have felt like hours for the poor girl. I couldn’t even stand after my marathon labour and delivery so kudos to her. Best of luck to you, looking forward to hearing your exciting news in the coming weeks. Xxx

  18. BETH! This is my FAVOURITE of the preggo files!! You had me laughing and crying and nodding and more laughing.. our youngest is now four but all of the things you are feeling this late into the pregnancy, I can remember like it was yesterday! You look bloody fabulous, so keep on enjoying those baked goods! So looking forward to seeing who this little person will be.. thanks for sharing your ride – I have loved every instalment! And bless Kate – nude pumps and all. Your captions to their photos always have me in stitches! I do hope the next preggo files instalment will be an announcement and a pic of you – mum of threeee! Wishing you all the best for baby’s arrival xxx

  19. Beth! You are going to have a baby!!!! Like soon! I’m kind of freaking out for you but also so excited for you to meet your little one and dive right into those precious newborn cuddles xxx

  20. Wow!! I can’t believe it’s nearly your time!! Already! I hope you get lots and lots of relaxing time for the next little bit..

  21. Beth, oh how you make me laugh (and snort)! Ah, the 5 pack of big black undies brings back memories – I think they’re still stuffed in the back of my undie draw somewhere! Enjoy your time on the couch getting some much deserved R & R after your flurry of nesting and cleaning floors. Kick back and relax. xx

  22. The baby is cominggggggggggg! Cant wait to see that basketball bump in human form. x

  23. Wow! Great post -again. All the very best wishes for the birth. Again – thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.

  24. Nothing better than a baby. Luff that little George.

    Good luck with your own journey.

  25. Elaine B says

    Great post! Hope you get to enjoy a few days vegging out. Wishing you the best xoE

  26. Catherine says

    You have a lovely Mother’s Day too Beth, wishing you the best with the safe arrival of your babymac no.3

  27. Oh Beth…I have been waiting for this post! How good are William and Kate? Pure class and style the whole way I don’t care what anyone else says. Right down to William not even having a sign of builder’s crack. Sending you the very best wishes for the smoothest possible arrival of number 3. I reckon you will completely nail this birth, breastfeeding and third baby thing! Love that iced chocolate, normally a hot weather drink for me but I think I could make a cold weather exception for something so good! x

  28. oh my word, this is a brilliant catch up, preggo files post! I had a vision of you babe last night, I know the sex and the name! Lovely, that babe must be close. Gosh what a pregnancy, and a dear friend of mine gave birth to a lovely little Archie this week! Yay!

  29. Beth, your having a babyyyyy and I can’t wait to see all those gorgeous photos of your newborn. It won’t be long now, rest up and have a beautiful Mother’s Day xx

  30. SawHole says

    I forgot about the cray cray you get when your milk comes in. I suppose it has been almost nine years though.
    Your floors are amazing and Archie is adorable.
    I was obsessed with Lux flakes as well.
    Good luck.

  31. Chiquita says

    I can’t wait to meet your baby!
    I am sending you positive vibes and hope as I type you are pushing!
    I pubs babies.
    C x

  32. Oh lux flakes. Pesky annoying things. I discovered Purity Sensitive liquid wash and never looked back. Cheap and gentle.
    Happy mothers day to you.

  33. A ‘nude pump’ is just not part of my vocabulary, let alone my wardrobe.
    You could wear some with your soft pants as you leave the hospital, could look good….
    That was a really hilarious preggo file.
    Lets hope you don’t mistake the real thing for a fart coming!!! Oh dear!
    Oh and those baby clothes on the line were a bit towards the blue-boy end of the spectrum…are you trying to tell us something??
    Happy Mothers Day xx

    • No messages in the clothes promise…I just seem to have got a whole lot of navy blue in there…it’s neutral right?!

  34. Kim Abbate says

    I can’t tell you how much I adore that pregnant belly! You really do pregnancy so well. Now we’ll all just await news of your own royal baby and cluck from afar. x

  35. You are the organised duo. I wish we were following in suit here. Nesting has come to a stand still due to pesky colds and illness. I am about to burst with frustration as I have to stomp down my nesting desires. Very excited for you and all that is ahead. You’re going to be magnificent and that is so much better than just okay x

  36. I’m calling it Beth – I think this is your last preggo files. It’s one of the best! I’ve loved reading all of these, especially because I’m only a couple of weeks behind you & can relate to every word. All the best for the big day!

  37. Domenica says

    An odd number of preggo files will not do. Squeeze one more in before the baby comes, will you? Do look forward to them so much, that it has crossed my mind that you should have to have another one after this baby comes just so I can be entertained. Also, cannot wait to hear your new baby’s name as Daisy and Harper are two of my fave names. Lastly, you look fucking fantastic preggers.

  38. LeighRex says

    OMF GOD you make me LAUGH!!!! Kate changing her surfboard maternity pad in nude pumps HAHAHAAAAAA!!!

    You got this mofo – you really have! Can’t WAIT to *meet* your little tacker – go easy tiger the next week or so and fart away my friend – let RIP!!! x

  39. I am so torn. I cannot wait for Baby Mac to arrive but I don’t want the Preggo Files to stop. I love them so. Perhaps the birth will herald the Post Preggo Files. May the baked goods be delicious and plentiful, your sleep be sound and bub be well positioned. Perhaps you’ll have a new baby this Mother’s Day? Wouldn’t that be the best gift ever?!

  40. the nude pumps and white dress were what had me amazed, too – what a (brave!) woman!! the rest of it – of course.. that first shower after you’ve had babe. ahhhhh! and if there’s someone there to do your hair and makeup, all the better 🙂
    and stout – absolutely!! brewers yeast is great for milk supply and the high iron in stout makes it even better for a preggas woman/breastfeeding mama.
    all the best Beth!

  41. I hope that bub arrives before you have to clean the floors again…it’s the least he/she could do!!!
    I am gunning for you to have a Mother’s Day baby just as I was…birthday today in fact. X

  42. Feeling ready is such a good feeling.
    Come on baby!
    Every time I mopped the floors (which was daily towards the end because I was home birthing and couldn’t have dirty floors…this made sense in my head at the time…I think it had to do with keeping up appearances for the midwives…in case they were looking at my floor and not, you know, my vagina) I kept thinking surely this is the last time I will mop these floors before the baby comes. And then the next day I would find myself mopping the floors again and thinking the same thing again.
    But eventually the baby came! Hooray!
    I am thinking of you! Best of luck Beth!

    • It will come when it’s ready to be here and until then, I will relax. That’s what I’m telling myself at least!

  43. Soap flakes?!? Why didn’t anyone tell me about these? I have a 2.5 year old and a 17 week old and never a soap flake has crossed our threshold!! Terrible, terrible mother I am (first world problem?).

    Just emerging from the newborn stage and soooooo glad its behind me (although still not sleeping through…what I wouldn’t do for a good nights sleep!). Of course I loved every moment but wozers its hard!

    Good luck! Love the blog. Looking forward to the sleep deprived rantings…. I’ll be nodding knowlingly, feeling your pain, but it goes sooooo fast…enjoy!

    • Thanks! Soap flakes were passed onto me by my sister in law/Mum can’t remember. You’ll be OK without them…promise!!

  44. Sarah Owen-Green says

    Love love love this post, Beth!

  45. Hi Rob and Beth!

    You look amazing!! Josh and I send our love from LA. Wishing you every health and happiness is the wait for bub to come join the action. Love the use of back yard soccer to coax em out, Josh approves of that method for sure. 🙂

    We are well. We are enjoying life in our little LA Duplex, having fun furnishing the place, scouring second hand shops for California craft and antique gems. Auditions. Auditions. Josh is writing lots. I’ve taken to growing as many varietals of cherry tomato as I can (and trying to see if everything really does grow in California, so far so good, yes it goes!) Apart from the yellow pear cherry tomato. Why yellow pear, why!?!? I have 5 other varieties going well, it’s the mystery of the yellow pear…

    Hope to catch you guys later in the year perhaps. Lots of love to the kids, Rob, yourself and bumpymo.

    Love George and Josh XOXOXOXOXO

    • How lovely to hear from you on here George! Glad you know you guys are well working hard…will be sure to let you know the news as soon as we have it xxx

  46. Exciting time for you! I hope you get to meet your new babe soon and it all goes well. You’re doing more pregnant than I do now with Masters 3 and 2 and Miss 7 months…hooley dooley it sure is full on isn’t it? As an aside what the heck do you use to clean those floors? My self-cleaning method of toddlers scooting around with socks on just isn’t cutting it anymore!

  47. Gonna be rude now. they don’t make basketballs that size 🙂
    Secondly, Charlotte’s bonnet was on backwards. So it just makes a mockery of the hairdresser, stylist, manicure lady, and all the rest… Don’t let it happen to you.

  48. Oh my Beth, you’re about to have a baby. A BABY! A real-life little bubba and I feel so excited for you. This shit is getting real! xxx

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