Saturday

I woke up yesterday morning like this:

IMG_3596

Except instead of the penis add in a pregnant stomach. And instead of the no clothes thing, add a be-draggled mismatch of old clothes I wear to bed with bed head hair instead. Got it? OK, good.

You see two things occurred to me on Friday:

1. Drunk people are really annoying.
2. Pregnancy can make people certifiably crazy

Now, don’t get me wrong, I KNOW that I am most probably THE most annoying drunk person and I KNOW that I am constantly uploading photos of alcohol left right and centre ALL OF THE TIME but for some reason, on Friday it all just really pissed me off. See also: point 2 above. I had had a lovely day at the races with my friends in the sunshine, backing some winners and having fun, but then the shine started to wear off as the day went on. I came home early to relieve the babysitter and immediately roll an ice old milo and get those feet up, and all I saw was photo upon photo of booze on Instagram (it WAS Friday arvo after all) but they all just kind of irritated me into one super storm of pregnancy frustration. Now let me clarify my craziness, I didn’t necessarily WANT an alcoholic beverage, it all just annoyed me. Now Rob was still out, and so I text him asking for him to at least bring me home some chocolate from the pub when he got home and WHEN WAS HE COMING HOME ALREADY?!! I knew that even though everyone was enjoying their Moscow Mules and crisp white sauvignon blancs, I would have my chocolate bar and glass of milk, and I would be happy. But of course his phone ran out of battery, the message never received, and my chocolate needs never met. You can imagine how pleased I was. I thought it best to just go to bed and listen to my snoring husband.

The morning came like any other. A little earlier than usual at 5.45am, and so I woke and got up, like I do every morning. We had to get organised and up to Sydney leaving at 9am for a big day ahead of us so it didn’t really bother me, and I was awake, except it occurred to me that there was an underlying simmering ANGER that was clearly going to blow. Rob slept in, I went about the morning and then asked Daisy to go wake Rob. She came back telling me he didn’t want to get up. Now, let me clarify that he NEVER said those words, it was her interpretation of events, and yet I thought he had said those words.

It wasn’t pretty people. Not pretty at all.

I blew my TOP. That simmering anger turned into an eruption of molten lava that could not stop the destruction of my family village around me. Things I didn’t even KNOW I was pissed off about came out! Maybe one thing Rob did to me 7 years ago was at play. I was crying. Screaming. Tantruming. It was ALL SO UNFAIR. THIS IS ALL SO UNFAIR. All of the reasons that I didn’t think we should have another kid ALL came into play. This is just how it is going to be for the next 4 or 5 years because I AM THE MUM. And it sucks.

Except it doesn’t.

I would provoke everyone with threats so that they would turn around and say all these soothing things to me, except they didn’t. So I sulked more. I eventually decided that it would be just best for everyone to go without me, leaving me with the dog to, you know, sulk and be miserable when in fact all I wanted to do was go with them. FUCKING FRUITLOOP. Was this really because I didn’t get a chocolate bar?ย Dear lord, I put any 3 year in the Woolies chocolate aisle to shame.

Poor Rob eventually got me in the shower, dressed, and en route to Sydney. I managed to give myself a thorough amount of self loathing and hatred before just telling myself to bloody well get over it. 5 minutes in my head on that car trip would have exhausted anyone. We dropped Frank off to my sisters place, dropped the girls off to the Gay Godfathers place (they were off to a matinee musical of course) and then my long suffering husband took me out to lunch. Just the two of us. We went down to the harbour to Woollomooloo to eat some fabulous food, would you LOOK at that crispy barramundi skin and that caprese salad? ย I apologised (boy did I need to).

IMG_3591

We then took a walk in the sunshine. My self loathing started up again because I am at the stage of pregnancy where I might just look like a fat mole, rather than a glowing pregnant woman. And while I would usually recommend for a man to only ask a woman if she is pregnant when a crowning head is coming out of her vagina, I’m waiting for people to ask me. And they are not. I felt like a fat, boring, daggy country mouse in the sparkling city surrounded by sparkly 26 year olds in Camilla kaftans sipping their champagne (see point 1 above).

Pulled myself together again, then got angry because it was hot and I had chafe, then pulled myself together again. Poor Rob just held my hand as we walked.

IMG_3592

Soothed my hot feet in the cool surrounds of the art gallery, soothed my soul really.

IMG_3594

Then a few hours later we met the girls and boys for dinner before heading back home. While you might all have your cold chardonnay, I have my food. IT’S ALL THAT I’VE GOT. BBQ King hit the spot. I love that place so much. So dodgy looking. SO TASTY.

IMG_3598

THOSE DUCK PANCAKES. Soothing my soul.

IMG_3599

We went and picked up Frank, hit the highway and headed south. As the temperature dropped, so did my temper. I collapsed into bed last night exhausted, as was my family.

Another thing occurred to me at the end of it:

3. Pregnancy is exhausting. Emotionally and physically.

How was your Saturday?

Comments

  1. God how I love you Beth. I love that you keep it real.
    Ah pregnancy hormones will drive anyone a little bit crazy. Be kind to yourself, as it’s all for a good cause ๐Ÿ™‚
    My Saturday was lovely and relaxing – a bbq with friends, which we need to do more often. The six kids played, the grown up’s chatted and ate. It was perfect.
    Now lets talk about feeling a wee bit stressed about how fast the end of term and Christmas is approaching!!!
    Ps glad you got out for that lovely lunch and outing with Rob. Just what you needed I’d say.

  2. This was me for the first 5 months of pregnancy with my daughter. I was so angry, upset and irrational. I knew that I was being all of those things, but I couldn’t stop it. I was none of those things when I was pregnant with my son though. Needless to say I haven’t gone back for a third, I don’t know if I could go through it again. It really was exhausting. I hope today is a better day for you.

  3. My Saturday: not as bad as yours (I’m too old for prego hormones) but I have this 9-month-old, 70-lb HYPER PUPPY here for ten days while his parents go on a family trip, and I (we, actually, but I’m doing most of the work) already have a 7-year-old 85-lb dog of the same breed, AND IT’S BEEN RAINING ALL DAY ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!! (And again for the next two days, so no dog park or long walks.)

    And his owners are not much into dog obedience training. So he’s a little hellion. Oh Lord, will this end soon? Everything we own from the living room to the lanai is closed up in the guest bedroom. I had to move the water bowls to the front porch and march them out there several times a day on leashes for a drink because he sticks his entire snout into the water and creates ocean waves on the floor, which we then step in and go skidding across the tile. He only wants to pee on the only landscape plant that is trying not to die. He wants to eat the wine rack (too heavy to move).

    And he flips bowls. First thing in, he flipped Crosby’s ceramic dinner bowl I hauled all the way back from France in a carry-on, and broke it into three pieces. I have to take the dinner bowls up because have you ever heard stainless steel being thrown around ceramic tile? This morning he chewed through a slat in the dinette window blind. He gets bored and goes on rampages around the house, nipping Crosby till he goads him into a wild tussle (thus all the ceramics in the bedroom). We’re down to two lamps in the living room, which BTW we hate and hope he breaks, and we’ll have to eat Thanksgiving dinner on the floor because the dining table is covered with an assortment of things he wants to get into. He wants to eat the bird, who hasn’t been out of his cage in four days.

    Tomorrow he goes to daycare (more rain). And maybe Monday. then they are full up for the Thanksgiving holiday. So pray the sun comes out and we can go back outside. And that we won’t need a new flat screen TV by end of November.

    Phew. Thanks, Beth. I needed that! Now I can go back to feeling sorry for you for the rest of your pregnancy.

  4. LOL … oh you poor thing! … mmmm … pregnancy hormones are sooo up hill and down dale!
    lack of chocolate I’d say! … gorgeous place woollomooloo wharf and the crispy fish skin …yum! … lucky for you it’s big girl blouse fashion! … comparisons unnecessary!
    you and hubby looking the picture of happiness on instagram! … all worked out in the wash?!?! … have a rest today, I’d say! … love m:)X

  5. Oh how I remember those pregnancy hormones now!!!

    I have an 11 week old daughter and was just saying to hubby last week that id do it all again…. And soon, But then you reminded me how horrible I could be when prego!!!! On top of that my 11 week old has decided to have a horrible week and I’m thinking 1 is enough….

    I’m telling you Ice cream will fix it, a big tub of good quality chocolate ice cream that you don’t have to share with anybody!!!

  6. I am the craziest woman when pregnant. And it is like you are watching it all but you can’t stop it. It’s par for the course, unfortunately. I hear you. Hope you get some glowy bits soon.

  7. Must have been something in the air yesterday- my behaviour was the same -without any pregnancy hormones to blame!

  8. Mmmmm, BBQ King! I haven’t been there in years. Are the duck pancakes still as good? I hope today is a better day for you today Beth xxx

  9. Hmm Saturday was surprisingly okay, husband was away for a hockey tournament so I was in charge of swimming lessons (which is fine but I’m not a strong swimmer so not fond of it usually). Then it was just a matter of keeping up with the little ones energy levels on my own, tired and looking forward to him getting home.
    Just remember to keep being gentle with yourself, for me the pregnancy hormones were a lot stronger with the third.
    and maybe find some non-drinkers to hang out with / follow, out of sight out of mind?

  10. oh Beth, you poor sausage!
    You made me laugh so hard with this one.
    Twenty billion points to you for your post meltdown apology. That’s the really important bit isn’t it?
    Maybe the reason nobody asks me if I’m preggers is because I’ve perfected the fat mole look?!
    I recommend you purchase a cheeky stash of chocolate and hide it behind the laundry powder, nobody but “the mum” will ever find it there.
    Feet up, have a milo – and when’s Frank’s salon visit happening??

  11. Oh my golly gosh I think we would get along swimmingly! My Saturday was pretty good but my Wednesday was crap! I wrote about it too. I am not in the later stages of pregnancy though, in fact, not pregnant at all! But feel for you. Especially today. 42 degrees today in my neck of the woods! Hope your neck is better…that your neck is cooler…so to speak ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. Lisa Mckenzie says

    It’s ok Beth we all have those days pregnant or not and I don’t like pissed people either they really shit me especially as I don’t drink that much,have a lovely Sunday Beth Xx

  13. My Saturday was spent dealing with explosive hormones too but they belong to an almost 12 year old girl who spends her days morphing from sweetness & light to moody madam with an occassional stop at stroppy toddler to add to the mix.
    I think lots of people are too scared to ask if someone is pregnant. I would never say a word just in case I was wrong as I have been on the receiving end & it wasn’t pretty. I was asked…..is that a baby bump or just the dress ? This was from a friend……a friend that knew that because of my health problems a pregnancy was life threatening & a no go…..?I have no idea where her brain was at the time. My response, through gritted teeth, it’s just the dress, that I will go home & burn ๐Ÿ™‚

  14. I tried for 3.5 years to have my 2nd baby – you would think I would have been the happiest pregnant person in the world. Oh no… I vomited for about 28 of the 48 weeks (with a break in the middle) and spent the rest of the time screaming at my husband, being irritated by my daughter and wanting to kick to dog. He knew to stay well away so remained safe. Hormones… dear god they were crazy.

  15. Alcohol is evil.. too many bubbles make for a tired dusty Tessa today and I can’t blame my lethargy on being preggas..

    Rant away baby we only get to do it while we are pregnant and get away with it xox

  16. Yes…but it’s not forever…

    M

  17. Aw bless you for keeping it real. I think we often don’t give the hormones enough credit for making us insane…although god help the person (who is not us) who suggests such a thing while we’re feeling enraged for no god damn reason haha.
    I’ve been struggling with worse than usual PMS lately which feels kind of similar, minus the fear of how I’m going to handle another child of course ๐Ÿ˜›
    Yesterday I was feeling riddled with anxiety. So there’s that. I cured it by making Nutella filled cupcakes. I had one, felt gross and then just had to get over myself ๐Ÿ˜›

  18. I’m not even pregnant and I feel and behave like that !!
    Must be Neptune in Uranus going retrograde behind the moon. Yes, blame it on the planets…

  19. I had the same struggle earlier in the week and have no pregnancy hormones to blame. But then I think our hormones can be challenging at the best of times. I get the alcohol thing too. When I’m not drinking – by choice or not – I tend to motive how my much it can be a focus for everyone else and I also find myself silently tutting to myself about how much we consume as a society. Then when I’m drinking again I have forgotten all about this wisdom… Hope you’re feeling better.

  20. Oh dear! That doesn’t sound pretty!

    I have been a nut case of the highest order recently. I don’t know what it is but I’ve been shitty at the world.

    I think it’s a combination of a husband who’s been living at work (including “working” on the weekend at the F1 guzzling champagne). My Dubai bestie moving back to her home country and losing the one person I could vent to about life here and husbands and kids. It’s all led to me being bonkers and generally pissed off.

    I totally understand the irrational anger that social media can cause. Over the weekend every photo and post about the heat wave in Oz did the same to me. I’m bonkers, I tell you!

    BBQ King is a good remedy though!
    Hope you’re feeling better xxx

  21. Man.

    You just described my weekend.

    Only I ranted & cried, & didn’t even bloody have pregnancy hormones to blame it on?!?!

    Sometimes? A girl’s just gotta rant & cry.

    x x x

  22. Amazing … My life… Thanks Beth ๐Ÿ™‚ 12.5 weeks preggers and just up the road feeling sick as a dog…. For 6 weeks now. I am far too old for the pregnancy thing!!! Feeling your pain .. Both crazy pregnancy emotions & excruciating nausea after 4pm!!! Oh well.. Atleast they’ll be two little new people in the village come winter

    Xx

    • Oh you poor thing! Congrats Deb! Wonderful news. You know I was feeling EXACTLY like that, EXACTLY and now I am further along I can tell you it does get better. Somehow that sickness just stops. Those ginger tablets helped me A LOT. Perhaps try those sea sickness pressure bands from the chemist too? Lovely news all the same! x

  23. Pregnancy + crazy heat = totally unreasonable me.
    I make it to about about eleven in the morning and then the heat gets to me and I loose it.
    I will literally stand up and rip off my clothes and go and find some ice packs to wear as clothesโ€ฆmoaning and grumbling the entire time.
    Literal chafe is the worst! Although I have found that Lansinoh works a treat.

    And what keeps crossing my mind is that I think I was crazier last time I was pregnant!
    And I know I will be crazier still during that first year!

  24. I think the early stage of pregnancy is the worst- morning sickness, fatigue + not obviously pregnant is cruel. Now I’m near the end, nesting. Happy to have energy again- just made your fruit cake from yesterday – literally just pulled it out of the oven. It’s my first and am feeling accomplished ๐Ÿ™‚

  25. I guess you can take comfort in knowing that almost every pregnant woman can sympathise with you on the emotional breakdown! You poor thing!
    You know, in September I had lunch at Woolloomooloo wharf too, and I AM 26 yet I didn’t feel fancy or glitzy at all. I felt frumpy, boring and under dressed compared to the gaggle of long legged 21 year olds sipping their champagne at the nearby table! Interesting. xx

  26. My Saturday was about as emotionally stuffed as yours. HUgs!
    http://dancestudiosuccess.com.au/when-it-rains-it-pours/

    • Oh you poor thing! I have had gallstones before…just the worst pain! And my poor father in law recently had that very same thing. Hope you are on the mend soon x

  27. Oh Beth I’ve had those days too & I’m not pregnant, or ever have been pregnant. I hope you’re feeling better now. Ps. Those duck pancakes at BBQ King are divine aren’t they? Every time I go to Sydney I must have them…. Followed by a big cup of gelato Messina x

  28. Beth! Honey! Get yourself down to the chemist and invest in some 3B cream!!!!! Chafe is a thing of the past once you get some of this gold between your thighs!!!! Xx

  29. Playing catch up and apologising for my Moscow Mule consumption :). If any consolation I had to get up at dawn, drop the boys at cricket and move two teenagers home out of collage in Brisbane’s disgusting humidity. X

  30. Beth – I love reading your blog! If only social media had been around some 29 years ago when I had my first son, maybe myself and many other new mums would not have crashed and burned!!! The sharing of your life experiences and feelings with your “followers”, obviously helps them to express their feelings and talk of their experiences as well as providing valuable support when they wake to those “It’s all too hard and I can’t do this any more”, days.

  31. Oh yes I feel every single thing that you said Beth cause at 7 months pregnant with 2 other small children to look after I currently feel like a baby carrying, food preparing, snappy mum who is uncomfortable, not able to sleep properly & low on patience!! I was exactly the same after my hubbie had a lovely alcohol filled night with the boys & I sat at home on the couch.

    It also doesn’t help that we are house hunting & now I feel emotional & what I felt was THE house for us has now just fallen through & I am annoyed, pissed & teary. God give me a chocolate bar or icecream please, yes food it is all about the food, thank god !!
    It’s a hard slog so go easy on yourself, from one preggy to another xx

  32. I grew up with a mum who flitted between drinking too much and explosive rages.

    Your daughters are sponges, they are absorbing ALL of your tantrum and that is just so unfair and so sad.

    Your wee lass who won’t sleep? Ever wondered why? Please, please consider getting some counselling to deal with your moods.

  33. @abi, I grew up with the same type of mother, and Beth is not anything like that. You don’t even know what she meant by throwing a tantrum, and if you’ve followed her blog at all, you’d know she is a fantastic parent.

    If her daughter isn’t sleeping at night, you have no idea why and haveno right to insinuate such a thing as it being Beth’s doing. Do you know her daughter? Have you spent time with her family? How come her other daughter is sleeping at night? They have the same mother. Stop throwing armchair psychology about. You are not qualified to tell someone else what they’re doing wrong. Shame on you.

    I believe you could consider learning about social skills.

Speak Your Mind

*