One thing: Date night

There’s been something I have been meaning to do for well over 10 months now…one of those things that definitely gets put off week after week and month after month but something so simple and SO important: a date night with Rob.

You see, since Mags was born, we have been REALLY bad at spending time together and alone. Maybe it’s the fact that we now live down here and so family babysitting (which you kind of want to only use when you have a new baby) has been limited. I’ve also been breast-feeding her which means that she feeds to go to sleep or feeding her to resettle if she wakes – it means that we haven’t had ONE night alone together. Sure we spend a lot of time together, but you know a proper date? Not one. With the other girls we would have had nights alone well and truly by now, but times have been different. I was speaking to my friend Mary last week and she told me that I need to do it, book it in, get away for the night, have sex with my husband and just be us again. Being the good girl that I am, I did what I was told. Well kind of. It was the perfect #onething for the week.

For those of you not playing along, #onething is where I do just ONE THING from my to-do list, but not your every day to-do list. Oh no, this is the list of non essential items that sort of kind of need to get done but it’s no biggie if they don’t get done until next week, or next month, or um, next year. Those things. Just one. Every week.

I called Mum Saturday morning and suggested that the girls might like to go to her place for a sleepover. She agreed, girls were excited so off they went! We were just left with the baby which is practically like having no kids, and while we weren’t going to go anywhere for the night, we decided to treat the night like a weekend away.

Except at home. With the baby. We’re not fussy these days.

After Maggie woke from her afternoon nap we packed her into the pram, got Frank on the lead and went for a good walk in the afternoon sunshine in the cooler weather that finally felt like Autumn. No complaints. No fighting. Just us. Like the days when we had just one kid. Ha! Remember thinking that was so busy. We stopped off at the pub for a drink. Best to keep your fluids up on a walk you know.

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After our long walk we headed back home and got the fire lit (it’s been a delightful 10 degrees here again at night) and popped some champagne and had some cheese. Maggie was keen on the smoked cheddar. And knifes. And glass. Remember when she used to sit still? Me too. They were easy days.

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We got Maggie down for the night and put some music on. Quiet in the house! No kids shows. Or movies. Or fighting. Some Van playing, fire on, candles lit. I even got dressed! And by dressed I mean put actual shoes on (not slippers) and put make up on! We were going to have date night we had to pretend we were staying at a nice hotel and we’d meet for a drink before dinner.

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Then it was time for dinner. Rob cooked up THE most delicious dinner of seared tuna with a sesame crust, some fried garlic, chilli, ginger and shallots. Honestly, just SO good.

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We sat and TALKED. Actually looked at each other and talked and laughed and remembered things from the past, talked about stuff in the future. Kissed! Properly kissed each other and held hands. We listened to music, and laughed and laughed. Man it was so good just to connect again, even though we see each other every day and do so much together as partners with the kids, to be us again, it’s so simple and so good.

Sure this restaurant required washing up, but after that was done we got to watch a bad 80’s movie in front of the fire before heading off to bed at the very late 10.45pm(!) and of course had a baby up and down for most of the night, but it was the best.

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I can’t recommend the home date night highly enough. Doesn’t cost anything much and requires little effort but with some candles, some music, some quiet time and actual talking, listening and really looking at your other half, it can remind you of so much, how far you’ve come, and how you couldn’t do it with anyone better than them.

What was your one thing last week?
Anyone else create a date night at home?
Dear me Cocktail is a bad movie. So bad but so good. Mostly bad though.
Go choose something, right now, just have a look around and there will be something waiting…

Comments

  1. So glad you got to have that time together 🙂 It can be difficult to carve it out!
    Mr Unprepared and I rarely get to go on real out-of-the-house date nights because we tend to have to use our babysitting privileges on things for other people – parties, weddings, big stuff.
    Sometimes we have a stay in date night – movies we rent off iTunes (swish haha) and home delivered take away food! It doesn’t have to be fancy to be quality time anymore 🙂

  2. Big fan of the date night at home. X

  3. A big fan of date nights at home and you don’t have to worry about who’s driving, a big bonus! We usually have herb crusted rack of lamb from an Australian Women’s Weekly cookbook. A few times I even managed to convince the kids they were staying up late and having a special play time in their rooms, they soon caught on to that though. Now two of them drive and they chauffeur us on a night out. My one things this week – booked dog in for much needed grooming and booked in flu shots and maybe a car service. Enjoy your week and glad you had a great date night.

  4. Sam Leader says

    It’s incredible how setting the intention makes all the difference! Every couple of weeks, we spend an evening “Zentangling” – basically formalised doodle drawing. Sitting alongside each other, engaging in something creative not passive, not necessarily talking alot, has proven great glue for our relationship.

  5. We do the Date Night at home thing every so often. Feed the kids, put them to bed then we get the candles out and cheese and usually my darling takes on the cooking duties. It’s lovely!! Actually he’s taken up the weekend meals challenge for the last little while and I can’t tell you how much I love it. He cooks all sorts of wonderful food, the kids try something new and I really appreciate not having to worry about the 3 meals a day thing!

  6. Oh what a great idea! We don’t get date nights much- I think our last one was about 5 years ago- or at least it feels that way! I love the idea of #onething- might have start doing that!

  7. Lisa Mckenzie says

    I’m a big fan of the date night at home Beth and you’re right it’s just spending time together and reconnecting.so glad you did it Xx

  8. That sounds brilliant! And so inspiring. We have our 4 year wedding anniversary coming up on April 1st. Hubby and I are planning lunch out just the two of us!!!!!!! So excited!!!!!
    It’s nice to realise you’re with the right person 🙂

  9. Well done you guys – I am lucky too, to have a husband who is a great cook. We usually do our Friday favorite dinner at home .Our kids are all off doing their own thing on Fridays so it’s a yummy dinner, some wine, candles and a chance to catch our breath after a busy week. Very important !

  10. Such an important one thing Beth, great idea. My one thing for this week is to donate blood – booked in for Easter Sunday!

    • Alison I have never done that and must do – thanks for the reminder. Last year when I was getting so many blood tests being pregnant I thought I must do it. Thanks!

  11. all good beth!
    important! … love m:)X

  12. What awonderful night for you both. I miss time with my husband. We usually have ten thousand extra teenage boys hanging around which dampens the romance. We are actually in a space at the moment where we are struggling to find things to talk about. It’s making me really sad

    • Go back to basics…just talk, and the rest will flow. I find technology a terrible distraction and it gets in the way all the time. Once you start you'll be right. Take the over thinking out and just start. Good luck x

  13. Amanda (Archie Lane) says

    Never let kids or life get in the way of making time for these nights. This made my heart swell Beth xx

  14. Kate Eastwood-Connelly says

    This made me sad reading it because I don’t have a husband anymore 🙁 but at the same time happy that you realise the importance of these little things that help your relationship thrive. Keep on loving BabyMac xx

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