Preggo Files #20

I keep getting well meaning text messages from kind friends who love and support me who are keen to know how I am. Sounds reasonable and nice doesn’t it? MY REACTION TO EVERY SINGLE ONE:


Some could say I am a little on edge. Tense. Frustrated. Over it. Not good for visualising opening wombs and babies coming gently into this world, but there it is. Me. At the moment.

I also saw my ob on Tuesday who advised that I should be having sex THREE TIMES A DAY WITH NIPPLE SUCKLING. I made the mistake of taking Rob along to this appointment so he was privy to this information and was all like “well if a Dr prescribes something…” honestly. I can’t EVEN.


Trouble is, if the pants come off I may well be mounted. It’s a dangerous business this late stage of pregnancy is it not?

I have saved a series of images similar to this one on my camera roll ready to go at any moment. Poor people, I will be back to my normal stuff sooner or later. I really do love you and thank you for your messages of “any movement yet?”. I do! Until then, this is the version you will have to deal with.


Rob and the family are obviously thrilled with the latest version they get of me. I cry, they cry. It’s not pretty. Speaking of NOT pretty, I have also managed to get a cold sore of the END OF MY NOSE that makes me look like this person from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang:


No wonder the baby is staying put, who needs photos of me looking like this? And this person was only suggested to me by one of my friends who ACTUALLY asked “what’s wrong with your nose? You look like Rudolf, or that person from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.” Obviously we’re not friends anymore.

Shit got real on the weekend on the nesting front.


Two words: PRESSURE HOSE. I haven’t really had a proper go of out yet because it has been in Rob’s hands but don’t think for one moment I won’t be out there in that arctic cold hosing shit down. Because I will.

It’s FREEZING outside.


We even got a little dusting of snow yesterday afternoon. SNOW! While it’s sunny, it’s bitingly cold with the temp feeling like minus 3.5 this morning. Why would ANYONE leave a warm womb?

Had a lovely visit from my sister and Archie for a few days where we basically ate and I snuggled the baby. I took them out for iced chocolates and my face looked exactly like this too. Imagine a world where a milkshake was bigger than your whole head? Now that’s a world I want to be part of.


I actually don’t have anything  much to offer the world in blogging so I probably won’t be blogging much. I hope you don’t mind. If something interesting happens, like I have the baby or something, I’ll be sure to mention it but in the meantime you’re best to stick to Instagram where there will mostly be pictures of baked goods.


I did write an article on the origin Blog about meal tips for saving time & energy which you can read here if that takes your fancy. I actually need to listen to my own advice and do some cooking for the freezer…keep me occupied AND full. A win win!

Craving: Mock cream.

Drinking: Pine orange poppas like they are going out of fashion. My one true love this pregnancy.

Dreaming: Of when the baby will come. If it’s coming. Is this it? I wonder if tomorrow will be it? I wonder how it will go? I wonder if it will be fast? Slow? Now? A complete brain waste of time and energy and yet? CANNOT. STOP.

In the meantime picture me like this…cheersing (that’s totally a verb) you with a glass of ice cold water in a pretty cocktail frock.


Serene and calm Betty. With a womb ready to open up. Calm and serene, calm and serene.

Distract me with something.


  1. Oh mate, I know the feeling. My youngest was two weeks late. By the end I wore a permanent scowl on my face that was supposed to say “Don’t even ask.” It didn’t work.
    Much love and baked goodness. A xx

  2. Wish a mock cream pineapple tart or Neenish tart was transferable on line.. Xx
    PS soooon this baby HAS to see the outside world.. Sooooon xxx

  3. This could actually be my fave BabyMac post ever.
    You are grouse.
    Happy cervix softening…
    Love from The Ashers

  4. Beth, I was right where you are 9.5 weeks ago. And anyone who messaged me was promptly ignored. Don’t they know the rules?!

    Go eat cake, sit by the fire, stomp your feet and soon enough you’ll have a babe in arms.

    Move on down, baby.

    J x

    • There has been foot stomping!! I haven’t been able to get your story out of my head. The tears. The starting and stopping. Thanks Jodi x

  5. Goodness! Don’t people know that you shouldn’t ask?

    When I was nearing my due date I just made sure to post on Facebook / Twitter every morning so that people would know that nothing had happened yet.

  6. I remember going into a chemist and the pharmacist asking when was I due. I told him I was 10 days overdue and was being induced that afternoon and then promptly burst into tears. I had a chest infection for which I couldn’t take anything, had that much fluid that if I took my shoes off there was no chance I was getting them back on again and had sciatica. So when he suggested to me that having sex might bring the baby on naturally it would be fair to say that my reaction wasn’t pretty!
    Anyway, survived it. She turns 21 on the weekend and party preps are underway. I should be vacuuming the cobwebs but reading Babymac seemed far more interesting….x

  7. Lisa Mckenzie says

    You poor thing and Do Not take your pants off,great tee btw,the last bit of pregnancy sucks big balls you feel like a whale(I did) not you and you get so sick of everyone asking are you in labour yet,I remember with my 2nd I changed my mind once my waters broke I said I don’t want another baby now,but of course I changed my mind back once she was born.
    Beth eat what you want to eat and don’t cook anything make Rob do it Xx

  8. Three times A DAY?!?! Seriously? Three? Geezus… My ob politely mentioned that getting my husband ‘involved’ would help as what got it started will also get it ended! Dirty looks all round here! At that stage poor old hubby got his head bitten off if he unlocked the door too loud when he came home from work, Christ knows what would have happened if he came at me with bits raring to go!

    On another note, any idea where Archie’s gorgeous little beanie came from?

  9. The week that my second child was due, I decided that I needed to travel to a bigger town, which was an hour away, to purchase necessary baby items. My friends thought I was mad, travelling on my own (well, with only a two year old in tow) because what if I went into labour? Given that in two days time my hubby would start his leave, (my due date) so I could have had adult company, it did seem a bit mental, but something in me was telling me to get it done TODAY. That was Wednesday. The next day I went along to Playgroup, there was a woman there who I’d never seen before so I went up to introduce myself, and she said, “I know who you are, I’m a student midwife, I could end up delivering your baby!” Went to bed that night, woke up at 1:30am in active labour, finally made it to hospital at 3:15am, only to have my daughter pop out at 4:25am, caught by the wonderful student midwife who I’d only met the day before! So just as well I made the trip on my own earlier because if I’d waited until Friday for my hubby, I would have been in no state to go anywhere! Good luck with the impending arrival, can’t wait to hear the news x

  10. OOOh I loved those last couple of weeks!! So much anticipation! Everything ready….everything cleaned within an inch of its life, nowhere to be….. and then i got induced
    🙁 boooo
    Not enjoying it so much this time round – having to share my baked goods with the toddler, hide the chocolate to scoff quickly when shes asleep and hope she doesnt notice any crumbs on my shirt….
    Bless you for the Pine Orange Poppa’s….i had forgotten all about them…now have 2 packs of them in my fridge….
    wishing you the best and may your Grand Opening be all you hoped for. x

  11. mrshanksy says

    Mate, i got sent home from my hospital induction appt to come back in the arvo “cos they only do inductions at night!” I was 18 Days OVERDUE…I went home and started swinging a massive sledge hammer breaking up some pavers outside whilst my husband was fielding phone calls from sisters and friends who knew I was getting induced… i was LIVID!!!! I just rolled 3/4 of a tub of salted caramel ice-cream and my 3rd baby is 9…I have no excuses..but I could really go a custard tart chaser!! BTW..Archies face? So freakin cute. .I’m tempted to get the hub a vasectomy reversal and try again…but much easier to live vicariously through you and my mate Devine Miss M, cannot wait to get my mitts on her new bubba.

  12. Miss you x

  13. My second pregnancy was basically sponsored by Cadbury dairy milk, I think Golden Circle better jump on board quick smart for you, sales of pine orange must be sky rocketing

  14. Maybe you need an auto response for every text you get – “I’m sorry I am away from my sane right now, I will return your message when I have it back”. -3.5 Damn that is cold. What have I got, umm, I’m trying to write a 5-minute speech for a women’s expo thingee I have to speak at, there’s a whole panel of naturopaths, authors on wellbeing and self image, a plastic surgeon and ME. And I’ve been asked to be funny. Not funny. Very hard and I’m shitting myself. The topic, Plastic is Fantastic, looking forward to it as much as that first poo after a baby. Sorry. Thinking of you… x

  15. Thanks for the giggle Beth! That cat btw is freakish! Anyway just thought a little info might help your poor nose heal quicker for you. The virus has prob been stimulated by low immunity & yes exposure to the cold weather! So what to do? Apply topically a cool wet tea bag of a high tannin like Assam or Lemon balm for antiviral & relief. Supplements to help your immunity (from a health food shop): garlic, Vit C, zinc and drink Licorice tea to deactivate the virus. Food to help: shiitake mushrooms, and foods high in lysine and cystine 🙂 Good luck & well done on flicking that unhelpful “friend”.
    Big hugs to you Beth! Luv Liz XO

  16. Because it’s not me with the full sized baby under my ribcage I giggled throughout this entire post. You blog insanely well for a girl who doesn’t feel like blogging. I’m really going to miss these posts, I guess it’s not a great time to ask if you guys can go for number 4?? 🙂

  17. I was 5 days over and so emotional…. My dear friend sent me this article to read and it just sat so well with me! Hope it helps x

    • Stevie this is SO beautiful. I can’t thank you enough for sharing it with me x

      • Beth, I just read that article too, and got goosebumps.
        You are in a thin place. You wrote about thin places when you were in the UK last year- where the connection between the divine and earth is especially close. Perhaps this *time* is a thin place- the last pause before the madness of new baby daze.

        And that cat is quite simply hilarious. I’m sure you’re nothing like her.

  18. I honestly don’t know how you’ve managed to blog as much as you have done in the downhill slide to “The Day”.

    I was glad to not receive anything from you into my Inbox the past , as I thought it meant that you were living #JustOneThing – and that ONE thing was sweet F.A.

    You totally have my permission to log onto cokeandpopcorn.coma dn find your favourite tv series, go back to Episode1 of Season 1 and then binge. Binge, baby, binge!!!

    Hot chocolate + fire + crocheted blanket + couch + laptop = you could be there for hours 🙂

  19. Oh my good lord I remember that stage. Constant phone calls and texts – have you had the baby? How’s it going? Any movement at the station? Uhhh yeah I had it a week ago, didn’t you hear? No of course nothing has fucking happened now leave me alone. I changed my voice mail and home answering machine two days after my due date to say “hi, it’s gail, no I haven’t had the baby. thanks so much for checking. I’ll be sure to let you know if anything changes etc etc”.

    May the force be with you……..Any movement at the station? Just kidding.

  20. Amanda G. says

    That Cat! That Iced Chocolate! That Tshirt! That OB! What was she thinking saying that with a husband present!!!!!

  21. mmm not saying anything that could upset you!
    just keep looking at archie! he is soo cute!
    wonder how kate is? whoops!
    have a good one hun! love m:)X

  22. Even though you might be cranky as hell you still make me laugh,
    Go make some bread. It’ll occupy your mind for a bit & then occupy your mouth for a bit- WIN!


  23. I recall a similar suggestion from my doc at a few days overdue however she added ‘make sure your husband really soaks your cervix with his semen’. Umm, ok, yea sure, I will pass that on to him…. NOT!!!!! All the best Beth, gosh this end of pregnancy is such bullshit but as wise woman once told me ‘no one has ever been pregnant forever’ pffft, sure feels like it though hey!!!

  24. That last bit is so hard especially when you have other little people to factor in. My third came in the middle of a 40 degree plus week long heat wave and I was beside myself and I was booked in to be induced on a particular day when they rang and asked me could I hold on a bit longer!! Are there any more projects you want to start or TV series you want to watch or rewatch?

  25. As if you are wanting nipple suckling by Rob! There will be enough of that later but not from Rob. My Mr got all up in that the other night I nearly leapt out of bed. Don’t be touching the straws!!!

  26. Jesus, are you STILL pregnant?

  27. God reading this made me laugh! I am 32 weeks pregnant and have just gone through the coldsore stage but had a family funeral to attend and felt like I should have done a Samantha on sex in the city – worn a big black hat and veil over my face. Hang in there, not long now.

  28. 3 TIMES A DAY? Gawd no.

  29. I feel for you. When my first was overdue I had to stop doing the washing as every time I went out to the Hills Hoist the well meaning, yet extremely annoying, woman from next door would bellow out at the top of her lungs, “anything yet?” or “when’s that baby coming?”. I also stopped answering the phone. I wasn’t impatient for the baby to come but it seemed everyone else was so I kind of cocooned myself inside the house for a while and tried to ignore them all.

  30. Gibbergunyah says

    I wouldn’t have coped with the constant queries, so with both pregnancies I told people my “due date” was the 42 week date. Which is when they all arrive by, anyway, so I told myself it wasn’t exactly inaccurate…

  31. One more thing… I secretly stole Mr HALOM’s beloved Karcher water blaster thingee last weekend when I was very angry and had PMS. I used that circular nozzle thing to do the concrete and the results were orgasmic! Get to it. Big love xxx

  32. The waiting is excroosh and it’s even worse with people harassing you with their good intentions because then you also feel guilty and bad that you haven’t, like had your baby! Feel free to batten down the hatches until you are ready to come out wearing hosiery, great hair and a beautiful new baby. Hang in there. x

  33. Firstly, that doctor is way ill-informed and was meant to prescribe trashy rom-coms and mint slice biscuits three times a day….seriously!!!! My baby was 10 days overdue and in the end I just told people I’d changed my mind and decided not to birth her. They generally were too confused to respond to that comment giving you time to escape with your pine orange popper. Xx

    • My favourite was yesterday at school pick up when all the kids looked at me and asked “has it come yet? ANY NEWS?” LOOKING AT ME. With a HUGE STOMACH. God love kids that they can’t even see that stuff!

  34. Oh how annoying are those “I’m just calling to see how you are”. Liars!

    I think you have a very considerate wee tacker there, waiting until you have a photo perfect nose before making an appearance.

    C x

  35. Three times a day! Is that doctor for real? Do not take off your pants. For anything. In the meantime, keep calm and think of Neenish Tarts. I bet somewhere in the world there must be a milkshake that is bigger than our adult sized head. If there is, I really hope it’s chocolate flavour, just sayin’. Can’t stop, I’m off to google Biggest Milkshake in the World….

  36. I went in to labour at 35 weeks after enjoying/enduring some pants off time. Thankfully it stopped after a few hours so we waited another 3 weeks, and there was no stopping her that time 😉

  37. I want to live in a world where milkshakes are bigger than my head!! That is awesome.
    Maybe demand that all food given to you during this waiting time is bigger than your head – you know, as a way to preparing to know what the baby will feel like when everything is SO BIG.

  38. I so hear you Beth, I now have a 4 month old who was born in January, at our street Christmas Party a neighbour said ‘Do you think you will make it to Christmas’ while staring at my stomach. I wanted to hit her with something big & blunt!!
    Meanwhile I just got back some pregnancy photos where I thought I might look all lovely & serene & instead I look tired, puffy with frizzy hair….well it was 3 weeks before birth & it was a 40C summer day – not sure what I was thinking!

    Baby will come when it’s good & ready…goodluck

  39. I have to say I am not looking forward to that part of the pregnancy! I might start my stock of images now in preparation for when people start asking super helpful questions like ‘no baby yet?’. Good thinking Beth!!

  40. I’m not about to have child (done that) but i have been wearing my fair share of the cranky pants lately and your gift Beth is in letting people know that we are not alone. I love your honesty and ability to put your thoughts into words. Great words. Thank you x

  41. With both of my pregnancies I eagerly awaited my waters to break *PURELY* so I could yell to my husband “THE RAINS ARE HERE!!” And we would rush to the hospital erc. It never happened and I had C-sections both times. Talk about a life half lived.

    (Apologies to those who have no idea what I am talking about)

  42. Lisa Aherne says

    I have not been there, done that! More’s the pity. However I wish you a safe quick delivery, and all the joy that comes from creating a new person for this world. And I have no doubt that with you and Rob as parents this will turn out to be a good person and top rate addition to the world around us. So much looking forward to your news. Xxxx

  43. Leanne H says

    I think this is the point where you msg back – Well yes! I had the baby 3 weeks ago and just didn’t want to tell you 😛
    You should probably book yourself in to some lush spa or something for a weekend – kids like nothing better than stuffing up our plans!

  44. Oh I so hear you – all five of my babies were all 2 weeks late….and I stopped answering the phone on our last baby who took forever to come !!!
    But SEX doesn’t work – sorry Hubby – the Doctor has it all wrong….
    You need a very strong firm massage with lavender oil on the ankles to half way up your calf muscle – its the only thing that will work. It put me into labour within hours {with our last son} and it was the fastest labour ever… find someone who does massages {sorry i am too far away to help!!!}, with Pure Organic Oil – mixed with Pure Lavender Oil {again organic} and have at least three 30 minute massages – from the feet all the way up to nearly your knee.
    Oh and don’t answer the phones, turn off the emails, step AWAY from the computer….and enjoy your last moments with your precious one – they grow too fast far too quickly – my oldest baby is almost 21 !!! Oh if I could only turn back time 🙂

    All the best Beth xxx

  45. Use the blog to off load, just let it all out!
    We will still luv youse no matter what!
    Hang in there. That baby will be here before you know it.
    I love how the other reader commented that you are in that fine space, that’s beautiful.
    Just batten down the hatch and tune in to the babe, he/she will come when it is time for him/her to come. Find your centre. (Calm birth, you know..)
    Best of luck in this exciting time, and we are very privileged for you to have shared your journey with us.
    Thinking of you and your family XX Thankyou Beth

  46. Thin space, not fine, you know what I mean.
    (its wine o’clock, I got confused)
    SORRY…I shouldn’t mention alcohol 😉
    It wont be long for you now.

  47. Wishing you well during the pointy end of it all! Not sure i should say ‘pointy’ end. But anyhow…
    I remember when I got really close to my due date and it was amazing how many people suddenly wanted to catch up with me. I think they secretly hoped I’d break some waters in their presence, so they’d have a cool story to tell! I was a bit of a party pooper as I was in and out of hospital with some issues – left them guessing while I hunkered down!
    We did go to a comedy show to try and laugh the baby out, but it didn’t work. Helped my sanity, though!! Laughing is good.
    I’ll miss your preggo files but I’ll be excited to hear how you are going with your precious new bundle x

  48. Who the fuck would dare to mention sex and your stage of pregnancy? I mean I never feel like sex, but at the top end of the prego journey – just fuck off. fuck right off, and then fuck off a little bit more. And to say this rot in the presence of the Huzbando, and on or near his birthday – that is just a cruel ucking joke. FUCK. OFF.

    Soon Hun, soon. I feel like you may well have movement now. If not tomorrow. Try a chocolate paddlepop, and apply it to Rob’s penis if he dares to get near you with unwanted amorous thoughts.

    Big love, this exit will be waay kinder than you imagine. Lose any fear about the exit. Cry, get pissed off, let it out, and be grumpy pants. <3

    • after a very productive day, about 1.5 hours ago I feel into an exhausted heap. I took myself off to bed, and sent all my good birthing juju your way. I woke with sore nips. so close I tell you. now. you’ll be fine, I’m feeling every pain for you xxx

  49. Well my bubba arrived Thursday night, 2 weeks early! I’m now sitting here with red, sore nipples and pains down below when I had planned being at Noosa for the weekend! Of course she is adorable but I was looking forward to a weekend away with hubby whilst grandparents babysat our 2 year old. You never know what can happen!
    I have to say it’s nice to have her out and enjoying some special time together in hospital before we head home to real life. I’m even enjoying the hospital food! Or more so the fact I’m getting 3 cooked meals a day, help with breast feeding and they make my bed! Might feign a bit of extra pain to stay a little longer, ha ha. Good luck.

  50. Nothing says nesting like a pressure hose because it is incredibly effective at getting rid of dirt and people who are pissing you off, a very common occurrence in the third trimester. I had a very satisfying cleaning frenzy just before the birth of my first child. Good luck!


  1. […] But a few words for kind friends who have not been at the end of their pregnancy or even – dare I say it – overdue. I learned a lot from some pregnancy blogs that author wrote. Don’t be texting or calling asking if there is any news {I mean Beth from BabyMac told you not to do it}. […]

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