Preggo Files #18


Kate STILL hasn’t had the baby! Who knows if she is even due yet, but STILL no baby. Anyone else keep checking in? All kinds of ‘sources’ are saying that today or tomorrow WILL be the days! Wills has gone on paternity leave early, the late Diana speaking via her clairvoyant stating that yesterdayย (except that didn’t happen) will be the day that her daughter VICTORIA will be born, police making final changes to security around the hospital. Oh man a BABY! A royal baby! I wonder if that little one knows of the life it has ahead of it…


Meanwhile I’ve been working on some outfits for when the news breaks. Think this should do the trick.


Whatever happens Kate, whenever it happens, we’re thinking of you and wishing you the VERY best. Well I am at least. You got this.


No really, we’ve got this. Start getting on all fours and stretching at get that Wills to work on some nipple stimulation.


Yes, really! I know I can shock you at times, but it’s true! It’s meant to work so start tweaking sister.

Back home I’ve been busy. LOOK! I bought some nappies. First time in about a gazillion years. Teeny, tiny nappies.


I also have some washing to do (I doubt whether the soap Lux flakes will get a go the third time round though) will be lucky to get a normal wash. Try and tell me a cuter thing to hang on your clothes line than teeny tiny jumpsuits and onsies. Go on! Try! You can’t right?

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In other news I saw my Ob last week and she now knows about the blog (waves hello!). Mid internal examination she asked me about it, explaining that another patient was asking her and then we had to discuss what a blog was, what I write about, and she made me bookmark it on her computer so she can have a read. Disappointing that now the full impact of my food choices will be there for her to see…other than that, I was described as agile and at almost full term I will take that!


Emotionally I am feeling a little, shall we say, roller coastery (yes that’s a word). I’m mostly happy, but sometimes angry, always teary and at every turn, jumping to conclusions and getting fired up. I give you Exhibit A:


I went to the freezer to grab a nutritious dairy snack (please just look away now Dr) and opened what I thought was a normal strawberry paddle pop (see? FRUIT) and was instantly disgusted at the size of said frozen dairy snack. It was SMALL. I’m talking REALLY SMALL. The paddle pop stick the mere size of my pointer finger. And thin! I made Rob look, pay close attention and he agreed with me that it was NOT OK. So I did what I always do when fired up, took a photo, uploaded it to Instagram and got fired up, really giving paddle pop a serving (yes I swore at them). Because first this, THEN WHAT? It wasn’t long after that someone pointed out that there are now snack size paddle pops and to check. So I did, and tail between my legs I tried to right my wrong. I’m sorry paddle pop, I can only say I’m very pregnant and roller coastery. I hope you can forgive me.

Speaking of getting fired up, did you see people losing their shit over Jana Pittman running a couple of days before giving birth?


Go girlfriend! I’m sure she was capable enough and was only doing what she knew she could do (under medical advice). I say high five! And I can assure you that I did NOT look like this when I ended up running the cross country a few weeks ago.

Also getting peeps fired up, a 65 year old German woman is pregnant with Quads. Goodness, whilst being as open minded and positive as I can I will say good luck. My own Mum isn’t yet 65 and I could not imagine her pregnant or dealing with one new born, let alone 4. Imagine how exhausting? And I wonder what age group she would be called as I am a geriatric at 37.


Stumbled across a photographic series called One Day Old that has some amazing images of women and their 1 day old babies which is well worth a look at.

Craving: oh you know, ALL OF THE THINGS. Preferably with melted cheese over its back.

Drinking: My Preggers Tea

Dreaming: of some seriously strange shit. For example yesterday I woke up from a dream where I was trying on a Chanel dress just after having sex with Rob whilst entertaining some friends who were staying with us with their kids in my old bedroom of my childhood home. It’s OK, just back away slowly…

Cheers to you friends with a cupย hot milo (restrained I do believe with just 3 scoops in there) but made up with a soft marshmallow. May the week ahead bring us good news for Kate, some better food choices for me and a good position for the babe to get into.


And for all of us:


You want to make sure those new sneakers don’t get wet? You walk with a beach umbrella and give ZERO FUCKS. (This was from The Fat Jewish who is defo worth following on Instagram). Be who you are and own it. Take no shit from NO ONE. Not even Paddle Pop.

When is Kate’s baby going to be born for the LOVE OF SWEET BABY CHEESES?
Washed some new baby clothes lately? I swear it can make you 23% happier.
Enjoy the benefits of melted cheese?


  1. The One Day Young Series is just divine, the lack of make up with big still bloated bellies but feeling the most amazing they will ever feel about their body in their life is just magical..

    The Fat Jewish.. adore.. off to get a fix now as I often miss him in my feed ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. I cried while dropping my daughter off at a birthday party yesterday – proper ugly cry (unfortunate family decision has had to be made with our family dog) – I was sooooo embarrassed & had preg hormones to blame but truth be known I’m a bit emotional with these type of things anyway.

    I think teddies hanging on the line is pretty cute too.

    And I got much pleasure watching your Paddle Pop disgust transpire over Instagram – very funny.

    Enjoy your week – getting closer to ETA.

  3. im sure paddle pop loved the publicity any publicity is good publicity, anyhow Paddle Pop definately where NOT on my shopping list until I saw they were snack size and now they are at the top of it (I buy snack size everything). See good publicity.

  4. You make me laugh Beth. Thank you! I’m sending Kate good vibes too, and you, and all the preggos. Those teensy clothes are pretty damn sweet.

    Could tweaking become the new twerking?

  5. Must admit found the paddle pop scenario totes hilar eagerly awaiting the arrival of the new royal. Have been wondering if Liz has been dropping Kate the odd ‘anything happening yet?’ text.

  6. Worst bit about the Kate Wait is that there is never going to be any news between 7am and 3pm in our time zone. It does not really leave enough hours in the day for it to luckily be announced in real time, I am hoping though that it is announced in the morning UK time which would be the afternoon here. Wow, I am as crazy as fuck. How do I care this much about it? Lol…

  7. I can’t wait to hear the news of Kate and Wills new little bundle. There is something magical about a royal Bub.

  8. I can’t even fathom the idea of your child’s birth being WORLD news. Imagine being in your hospital room, during one of your most vulnerable moments while there are people outside with cameras and police and fans. Cray cray! I mean, I didn’t even let my in laws come to the hospital until after haha.

  9. I so wanted that baby to be born on my birthday. I already read enough kate blogs as it is, I’ve been proper stalking these last few days!

  10. Hello to your Dr Ob !
    Beth has been really good, really…she only buys snack size treats and limits custard tarts to one a day, followed by a Milo.
    Baby clothes on the line are cute but I’m rejoicing seeing my 5yo finally start to fit into clothes his age (he has had some problems so was not quite on the growth chart)
    I am more interested in what you are delivering than Kate!
    I’m guessing its a boy called MILO.

  11. you are funny! … learning some new things here today beth!
    gorgeous natural photography of the one day old babes with mums!
    cute baby clothes! … wonder if kate had to do that, or if she even wanted to!
    hormonal dreams and treats are coming thick and fast at your place! …
    “I quit sugar”!;0 … not quite! … plenty of time for that! balance with fresh somethings!
    all the best! love m:)X

  12. Love reading your words Beth, you make me smile you also brought back lovely memories when you mentioned Lux soap flakes and little clothes flapping on the line.
    I’m soooo looking forward to your birth story

  13. Melted cheese on everything!! I am seriously going to miss these updates. Can you please do newborn ones? (because you’ll have soooo much time on your hands ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) Well done on being so agile… not a mean feat so late in pregnancy or at any stage for me ๐Ÿ™‚
    Little clothes on the line… in fact, little clothes full stop make my ovaries scream!! Jx

  14. Lisa Mckenzie says

    Tiny baby clothes are the very very best Beth abd PREGGO bellys,speaking of which I can’t believe your OB reads your blog that’s a bit scary isn’t it!!
    Kate have your baby and Beth get some decent paddle pops and baby Mac get in a good position please ,be well and enjoy your last little bit of time as 4 Xx

  15. Oh, washing up teeny tiny things does make my heart sing! I love just staring at it on the line.
    I think Kate will have her babe in 2 days…. ‘cos why not?
    Also, thanks for the storage idea for the nappies. A box to keep them tidy! Who would have thought!?

  16. Only thing cuter than the little onesies is the little socks! Will probably never use them but awwwwwwww! Could not resist.

  17. If it’s a boy, will you call him Milo? My cousin called his boy Milo and his last name is Brown! True story. I’m more excited about your bub than Kate’s (does that make me a bad Brit?) I think you too should get a police cordon around the village for the arrival of the new Baby Mac!

  18. Thanks for keeping your cervix closed while I was away. Forget Kate. I’m on Beth Baby Watch. x

  19. Hi Beth, hope you are doing well. I read almost all your posts as soon as they come and I don’t know if I missed it or something, but I haven’t seen any post on the new Royal baby! How come? ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ˜€

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