Full and Thorough Reporting

Well hello YOU. How are you? It’s early here and it’s freezing outside, as you would expect on the 21st July. Can you believe it’s the 21st July already? I already feel like the days are starting to get a wee bit longer, I can see daffs pushed up everywhere, the blossom that comes first starting to bud up, I think even Mother Nature wants 2020 done with sooner rather than later. It all seems about 3 weeks faster than it normally is. The Daphne is in full bloom around here, that sweet, heady smell hits you as you walk outside. Mixed with the smell of smoke it smells like mid winter.

All three girls are back at school today for the start of term 3 and I am already dreading all the busyness that is to come. Sport is back on (netball for Daisy training twice a week and a game on Saturday) Hockey for Harper (training once a week, Rob is the coach and a game on Saturday) as well as Jujitsu for Harper and Rob and Maggie (twice a week for H & R and once for Maggie). Can you already see the kms that will be going town each afternoon. It’s great that life seems to be returning to normal when it’s especially tricky with so many cases of Covid spiking up here there and everywhere and the poor people in VIC locked down – I feel like its a time bomb that is leading to us going in the same direction. Life bustling and busy and a silent, invisible threat just lingering on the sidelines. It’s a worry isn’t it? I am so feeling for you guys in VIC, including my big sis who is a single Mum to her three kids who is struggling with it all. We’re thinking of you guys, and I hope you are doing ok. Know how much we realise this could be us in a moments time. I hope it’s not but who knows.

The holidays were a great break for us all. We escaped as soon as we could up to the beach for a few days and then up to the farm to see Rob’s Step mum and spend time with her. We were gone for 9 days and I was so grateful to Lucy who took over the shop so I could have a  break with the family. The days were short and sweet filled with time together. Lots of sitting by the fire at night, reading books in the warmth of the winter sunshine when I could, lots of cooking and eating and just being together, no routine, no alarms, just us.

It’s special and healing for us all to be at the farm too – to be with Sue and process our grief which is still so raw for us all. I love that it’s an opportunity for us all to talk about Alan, about when he was sick, when he died, just talking about it with people that get it, it helps, you know? I don’t suppose many people want to hear about it (again) 7 months on, but we do and we can, and it’s important. What a shit of a year this has been so far…starting off on day 1 with our dearly missed Alan dying on NYE, then a few days later thinking Mum had lost her house to the bushfires and all the stress that came with that. Hearing about China and an illness inn early January…man we had no clue what a disaster this year was going to be.

But the sun still rises, we still talk to him like he is in the room with us when we are all together, small moments of utter disbelief for us all that he is never coming back. Recalled memories of seeing myself sitting crying at his feet asking him “what are we going to do when you are not here” and then seeing his empty chair knowing that we are deep in that time we were dreading. We miss him. I wish he was still here. But the sun sets and another day begins, the seasons moving ever onwards and a timely reminder for us all that life goes on. How very dare it sometimes.

We got back last week on Tuesday to a wet and dreary Highlands. The washing piled up from before we were away, then more holiday stuff and life on top. The fire wouldn’t start properly for a whole day. But we got back into work, some time for the little kids to play together, some time at home before school started back. I baked, I ate, I picked posies of blooms and faffed about trying to get through the washing. I tried to prepare for the term to come, worrying about what’s happening down in VIC, worrying about what’s to come for us all, that ball of angst growing as we moved closer to this week. I have to keep on top of those feelings…they are bubbling just under the surface all year, these perilous thoughts that need lots of pushing some days. Cake helps. As so long walks.

And now we are here, and we’ll pack the lunches, send the kids off, pick them up, drive here and there, work hard, try and exercise, get back into the swing of it all until we can breathe again and have a break again. I love school holidays so much.

How was your holidays? Did you get one?
Are in lockdown? How are you feeling?
Let’s do this friends…

Comments

  1. The little pinch pot vase with the dapne! Do you sell them in your shop? It’s perfection…..

    • This one was a gift from my sister I’m afraid…but we do have some more little ones coming back on-line soon…keep an eye out!

  2. Gosh, sounds like you are really back into it full swing, I feel puffed just hearing about all of the driving. My boys finally went back to boarding school last Monday after 16 weeks having them home, we miss them and it sure is quiet here without them. Good luck with the new busy term.

  3. So good to hear about you and the family Beth.. your inspiration feels like a warm hug during these difficult times! Stay safe 🤩

  4. So glad you had the chance to get away for a few days and went to the farm, your mum in law would have loved your company. We are in Qld, so at this stage very lucky but in saying that they are allowing all Victorian sports teams and their families to come here, wish they didn’t. I feel so sad for what is happening down there. The majority are doing the right thing, just takes a few idiots to muck it all up. I don’t know how anyone does lock down with a young family, I take my hat off to them.We are planning our daughters wedding in Sydney for March, so hope it has settled by then, if not we just wait. Take care.x

  5. Dear dear Beth, I love your posts even more when you share the reality of LIFE…. including death & grief. You have such a way with this that it’s a sad but beautiful way to honour Alan & of course the general uncertainty that is having an invisible virus hanging out ‘we know not where’ Living the best & genuine time in your family’s life is the better antidote to fear.

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