We still do

A few weeks ago it was the 29th February, that extra day in a leap year that comes around every 4 years. It was 16 years ago (in a leap year) that I was one of those brassy broads that decided that I would propose to Rob. It wasn’t something I had planned on given that we had been a couple for all of 4 months, but we were away for a night at Jonahs at Whale Beach and 1.5 bottles of French champagne later I just KNEW that we were going to be together forever so shouldn’t we just get married and get on with it already?! Much to the shock of our friends and family “you’ve got a girlfriend Rob?!” and I met a lot of them at our engagement party for the first time a few months later.

Our wedding invitation was a card that I had given Rob for his birthday that he photoshopped our heads onto, and changed the names on. As you can see, humour and taking the piss has always been a constant in our relationship.

We weren’t married until Easter Saturday the following year in 2005 up at the beloved farm of Rob’s dad and step mum (who quite literally had to build the house as we decided we would like to be married there and there was so much heavy machinery right up to the day before…we really put them under the pump!) on the most glorious Autumn Saturday when the light was perfect filled with so many of our loved ones all around us – it was one of the best days of my life.

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We had a CD made for our guests, another photoshopped head situation of an iconic marriage at the time (Britney Spears and OK-Fed…thankfully we lasted longer than they did) a list of tunes and love songs that meant something to us both from our time together as a new couple, our hopes for the future (Dance me to The end of love has been a constant theme throughout our marriage and was a reading at the wedding) and it’s something that I still listen to all these years later, as do many of our friends who still get that CD out.

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Gosh we were SO young. SO well slept. SO full of hope and the unknowns about what marriage would be like: what being a family would be like – what having children meant, what being together REALLY means: the challenges, the adventures the low lows and the brilliant highs.

In 2 weeks time it’s FIFTEEN YEARS since we were married. 15! We were going to go away somewhere together just the two of us – and then maybe with Lucy and Chris who also share our wedding anniversary. Then after the start of the year with Rob’s Dad dying and drought, fires and floods and STRESS we decided not to. But! On the back of hearing stories at Alan’s funerals and seeing his friends that he made such a priority in his life as he travelled around the world every year to see, I (yes poor Rob heard those dreaded words that meant I had already decided one something….”Rob I’ve ben thinking….”) I decided that a party was in order! Here we were 15 years later, feeling strong together, feeling in love…what better thing to do than celebrate that strength and love with another party for our friends and family. How many times did we hear in January “I wish we could have caught up under better circumstances” as we hugged post funeral. So a party it was!

You guys know I love a celebration to plan and this one is going to be a good! A cocktail party in our home with as many people that can make from it our wedding (friends and family travelling from all over the place to be here). Of course all our new friends who are such a part of our life now to celebrate with us again. Good food, lots of bubbles, a chance to frock up and have a dance.

I’ve been busy planning and thinking about decorations – buying wine supplies and getting prepped for our soiree in two weeks time. It’s going to be a great celebration and even though Rob reluctantly (at times) rolls his eyes at my vision and ideas I know it’s going to be special night for us all. There won’t be vows renewed, there may be some singing and dancing, but mostly it’s a chance for all the people most special to us to know how important they have been to us over the past 15 years. To remind Rob and I how far we have come and what adventures we have before us. Three girls who will watch on (with plenty of eye rolling from the eldest I am sure) as they cringe that their parents actually still kiss and love each other. Very much.

Marriage is hard work. It’s about commiunication, and selflessness. It’s about being honest and vulnerable, about small acts of kindness every single day. It’s about remembering the good stuff and not keeping stupid tallies on the stuff that doesn’t matter like who doesn’t do this or that. It’s about still reaching out for your hand to be held, holding onto them when it’s hard and laughing, still, because what else is there to do?

I am so proud of what we have achieved in 15 years and I want to celebrate ALL of that. I want Rob to know how much I love him, still, despite the fact I am a cranky mole most of the time to live with. I hope this party is a reflection on all that and I hope that in the future he will always agree to my….”Rob, I’ve been thinking…” because they are ALWAYS brilliant ideas! Always!

Time to get focused on the party prepping….and of course work on the new and improved playlist for the past 15 years!