The roots that bind us

I’ve just come home from a very special weekend away with all of Rob’s family. There was lots of laughter, sharing of memories, tears and stories and of course love. We were there with his Dad and step mum, his brother and wife, his two cousins and their husbands and us. A ramshackle group of adults without their kids, all bound together through marriage or birth into this thing we call a family.

Last night we were all sitting around the fire after dinner when Rob asked us all individually to speak about family. Whatever you wanted to say, as much or as little as you liked on the topic – this is a family of intellect and intelligence, of orators and raconteurs and story tellers, so it seemed quite natural for them to all stand and say something on any given topic.

We all shared our thoughts on the matter, the in laws, the step family, the brothers and the father of the family. Of those who have come before us, those who have left us too soon and those who are even yet to come. Of place: the memories that they all had of children was of going to places as kids, the funny stories that they remembered that bind them all together as a family. We talked about how important it is to work on our relationships, that even though we might get frustrated or annoyed by our family that they are the most important relationships we have and how important it is to work on them and keep them healthy – to forget things that don’t matter and move forwards, ever forward.

For me, well, I spoke about how important my family is to me. Family is EVERYTHING to me. It’s where I learnt all my important lessons in life, it’s where I can be most safe and truly trusted. It’s where I learnt about the world around me, about humour and giving shit to people, it’s where I learnt respect, legacy, my history and where I sit in a long line of people before me. It’s where I still learn to much as all we grow older and make our own families.

When you marry someone you come into a whole new family with differences and dynamics to your own. It’s a whole new learning process and understanding, it’s a little longer to maybe have that safety and acceptance but inevitably seeing and learning new and different ways can only lead to understanding in love in a different way.

I adore Rob’s family, his cousins I am lucky enough to have great relationships with despite us all living different lives in different parts of the state or country. His Mum and Dad (and their partners) have taught me other things and have accepted and loved me for all that I am. Rob’s Dad has shown us the most amazing things and places all around the world, his endless generosity and love fill up so many of my very favourite memories throughout my life – how lucky I am to have found them and play a part of it all.

And of course now we have our own family that we have made on our own. Our girls who hopefully feel all those things I know I do: love, acceptance, understanding, safety, trust, humour, knowledge and of course a little laughter along the way. They are part of a new generation that will create their own memories and paths in our family history.

More than ever this weekend, I feel my place in it all, and how important family is to me. What a lovely reminder I’ve had. I found this quote from Linda Hogan which spoke to my heart this morning with all these thoughts swirling around…

More than ever I’ve been reminded that at the end of it all, all we have are our memories, our love we have given and is given to us and the people around us. Tell the people you have in your life how important they are. And remember that you are the result of the love of so many people before you, and yet to come.

Isn’t that something?

Comments

  1. Tears to my eyes Beth, beautiful xx

  2. Abilene Grove Olives says

    Wow beautiful words and sentiment Beth!! Tears to my eyes too.

  3. So beautiful my friend x

  4. This rings so true after the very deep and meaningful conversation I had with my 8 year old on our walk yesterday. About life, about people no longer with us, about appreciation for what we have. I told her how much I value who she is, her part that she is playing in the world. Maybe it’s the full moon but I was so full of love and gratitude for all that I have, for the family and friends that surround me and blessed that I get to call this beautiful country home.

  5. Mrs Woog says

    Needed this today. Love to everyone xx

  6. Beautiful… What a perfect family gathering of the clan, we never stop loving, sharing and reminiscing a very special weekend Beth and Rob 🤗🤣

  7. Beth, you put that so beautifully. That quote is on the front page of all my years of family research, and I spoke it as part of my speech for my mum’s 70th. I can actually feel the love in that quote. I am especially lucky to come from generations of long happy marriages. As my husband and I grow our family, it is hard constant work that is appreciated in our case. Marrying into another family is also challenging.

  8. Bawling 😭🙌

  9. You are a philosopher dear Beth. Such a beautiful post though a bit tough for me as my parents and my husband’s died many years ago and most aunts, uncles, cousins etc live in another state. My husband and our gorgeous daughter are everything but, especially for her sake, I wish we had more family members close by 🍃

  10. Anne-Maree says

    Beth you have such a beautiful way of reminding us of what’s important. It’s easy to take our families for granted but your words have made me stop and think. I love the idea of talking about what family means to us.

    • I so loved hearing everyone speak on a topic – it’s a wonderful thing to do just to ask people to talk, and to listen – you learn so much!

  11. My favourite blog ever so true! Thanks for sharing this Beth x

  12. This is so special and such a good reminder of the work we have to put into the things that count.

  13. Beryl Hickey says

    Thank you for sharing you life, you are an amazing women.

  14. Beautifully written as always. This also brings tears to my eyes. I don’t have the joy of a large family, in fact I have a sister who lives are fair distance and that’s it. Of course I have my husband and 3 adult kids and a gorgeous grandson but that is my tiny family. I am very blessed to have them and I just love them more than life itself. Some people have no one. I love following you and your family, so much love surrounds you and the great thing is you know that, you show your appreciation for them all the time and that’s why we all adore you.

  15. Cherie A Hamburger says

    My favourite blog post ever! And I’ve been reading since 2009! Thank you for sharing. xx

  16. Love this

  17. Amanda Higgins says

    Thank-you Beth. I have read this at the moment when I needed it most. When I am in the throws of dealing with another hurdle in the journey that is high school for my eldest. At nearly 15, and being a boy (which just seems to make things more difficult at times, as I don’t always feel as though I am on the same wavelength) I have had most of the day to think (and shed some quiet and alone tears) about how to deal with ‘the latest’ with him.
    He should be home in just under an hour. Time to wipe away the tears of frustration and speak with him in a kind but concerned motherly way. (It’s just SO hard dealing with knowing when to be the soft mum and hug and all that stuff…and when to let him just be a 14 year old boy.)
    Excuse me while I go and make myself a cuppa. Wish me luck! xo

    • Good luck Amanda – hope it went well. It’s SO hard this parenting business and I am starting to see just how hard as they grow into BIG people. Lots of love x

  18. very poignant beth!
    thankyou
    much love mxx

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