Monday Schmonday

Is it just me, or is anyone else feeling entirely NOT like themselves at the moment? Sheesh, I am in a funk and I’m doing all I can to pull myself out of it. Last week I couldn’t have cared less if I didn’t make the beds or cook dinner and before I knew it I was feeling entirely lost and out of sorts. I’ve dragged myself out into the world in the past few days, faking it till I make it, making sure the beds get made and some sort of cooking done, it’s been exhausting and tiring and nothing like how I usually am, so a whole lot discombobulating. It’s like everything is just titled, by a few degrees, so everything’s just not quite right. Very strange indeed.

But today, well, I was going to completely fake it till I made it. I just had to. Rob was away for work and after a terrible nights sleep (two kids, namely the middle one dear god she will be in the death of me) I got up, stoked the fire and watched the sun rise through the heavy fog.

Looked at the light on my cyclamen as the pink colour peels out of the petals.

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Admired the gorgeous orchid that Mum bought me that’s sitting in the hallway. Made the girls breakfast and lunches, wiped benches, put two loads of washing out, did the school run, grabbed a coffee, did a post office and bakery run (and totally didn’t eat one baked good).

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Took down the sign from yesterday’s lunch and wiped the snot from Maggie’s nose for the 56,764th time.

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Put the baby down for her sleep, tried to fix the coffee machine by watching YouTube clips, then calling the shop we bought it from, then the manufacturer, then a local person to fix it. Then did our Census online, paid some bills, answered some emails, drank a tea and ate some chocolate. Got through my annoying to do list, made lunch, stacked the fire wood and hung out some more washing. Walked around the garden to take in some vitamin d.

There was a lone snap dragon flowering.

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The heady scent of the Daphne intoxicating in the side garden.

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Checked on all the hellebores in flower and pondered all the bulbs shooting up here and there.

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Admired the trees that have recently all been fertilised and mulched.

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And inspected the snow pear that is budding up like nobodies business.

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Admired the colours in some pots out the front.

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And had a think about some new plants I was given as a gift and tried to work out where they will go. A white daphne, a new rose and a Magnolia.

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Came in and saw the afternoon out, forcing myself to go through the regular motions in the hope that this tilt rights itself. Walked up to School with Mags and Frank, home with the girls, set the fire, cooked dinner, bathed the girls, brushed their hair and warmed their pj’s by the fire.

And now the day is done and I feel a little more like myself. Not completely, but a little closer.

Tomorrow I’ll wipe some more snot, I might have a better nights sleep, and I might get that coffee machine working yet.

Anyone else feeling a little like this? What is WRONG with me/us?

Comments

  1. Yes. Just yes.

  2. Yes Yes Yes. Same same here. Your post makes me think of Dory. Just keep swimming just keep swimming. What else can you do? I have daphne in my garden thanks to you and it makes me smile a lot. And as I type I am making Bev’s one pan wonder salmon which is making me happy too. You might be in a funk Ms Mac but know that you help pull me out of a funk all the time with your approach to life.

  3. I felt this way a couple of weeks ago, Beth, but I think I was missing my Mum a bit. Almost a year gone, so …

    But I also did get sick, so not sure if that was coincidence or not.

    Continue to get as much sunshine as you can. I always feel better after being out in the sun. Hope you’re feeling more ‘up’ soon.

    xox

  4. I small kinds of lazy and weird. Productivity is so low and the state of the house is woeful.your flowers are beautiful!

  5. OMG Beth YES! I couldn’t remember the last time I cooked for my kids yesterday so I forced myself to pry the fridge open and find something still edible to make them. I feel like it’s all work, work, work, sport run, sport run, sport run, work, work, work. All very good I love my job, I love my kids sports but I also love being a mother and a homemaker and I haven’t been able to do that lately. There has to be a way to better balance.

  6. Lesley Baker says

    Totes feeling you, just last Tuesday (to be precise) I just went mehhhh- and from then on have just been not myself and just going through the motions- hoping it’s just the moon or some weirdo vibe that will disappear!! Good luck to u too!!

  7. At this time of year, when I feel exactly as you have described, I realise I am low on Vitamin D. Take a few supplements and you’ll feel much better in a day. Not normally my bag to take supplements (waste of money to pee out vitamins) but this one really helps! I’m in a similar location to you – we’re all rugged up with no skin to the sun. By the time August rolls around we’re dooooomed.
    x

  8. I’m exactly the same at the moment. I’m as flat as a tack and it’s driving me nuts. Tried to get into maintenance Monday today but it was half arsed at best! Maybe it’s the weather, maybe we have SAD (seasonal affective disorder) it’s totally a thing. Maybe I’m just sick of doing what I’m doing and just want to win the flipping lotto and buy a farm to house abused animals. Rant over..hope you’re on top of it soon xx

  9. Today I actually had a list of things to do.
    It was a short list and so I got through it all easily, but by jingo it was good to have a list.
    I’m home all the time at the moment, as I’m out of work, and I’m not getting any response to any of my applications, save a DOUBLE REJECTION letter from one place, nice one.
    The lack of structure can be a bit tilty.
    And in four weeks, if I still don’t have a job, I will have to endure attending an utterly pointless “work for the dole” program, which is glorified day care for adults. Gah. If you ever wonder what hopelessness feels like, sit in on the induction session of a work for the dole program.

    I hope you feel totes Beth again really soon.

  10. Same. I actually took a mental health day today. I never do that. My parents aren’t well and have been relying on me for many things. Which is of course my pleasure to help with but that plus a job and children etc etc means things at home take a back seat. And I just needed to get on top of things at home. If the house and paperwork isn’t in order neither am I. Anyway, feeling a bit more myself but back to the paid work tomorrow. And the gym (it really does make me feel better). And I’ll do my best to try to keep on top of things going forward so I don’t spiral again and so I’m better for me.

  11. Holy gaucamole! YES! Beend sluggish since Friday and today (thank goodness there is no kinder on Mondays) did not leave the house once. Lucky my big boys played in the backyard and got hours of peace from LEGO with hardly any fights and my bebe had 2 big naps so I watched every bit of Olympics possible whilst having lots of tea, coffee, chocolate and doing laundry and laundry and laundry. Feeling like tomorrow will be a better day… or perhaps thats just a warm feeling I have from eating a bowl of rhubarb and apple crumble! Wishing a good night sleep all round’ x

  12. Cristina Pink says

    Similar day. Add an extra kid plus bonus school refusal. Make the daphne a baby – first flowers this year and a side of census that does not recognise a family with two mums who have been together nearly 14 years. Somehow Pokemon Go thinks I have walked 3 km today but I swear I have only been a chauffeur. Oh, and I bought a muffin with the coffee. Otherwise jinx.

    P.S. No. Another fail- I let the fire go out. It only responds to my partner as I grew up in Brisbane and it KNOWS. Once I used firefighters and half a bottle of vodka and I still couldn’t get the bastard to burn.

  13. Snap and snap! Husband away and coffee machine troubles here too. What is the world coming to?

    The house is a disaster but if you’re after some positive news I have been keeping on top of one thing – the meals – and the slow cooker has been my saviour lately. So good to throw something in the slow cooker in the morning, forget about it, then have a warming winter dinner ready when it’s needed most.

  14. Sue Wright says

    Congratulations. You made it through anyway. That’s being a real human/woman/mother/creator/homemaker/gardener etc It’s finding the ability to push on regardless of feelings other than joy.
    Another day today. May it be just as productive.

  15. OMG Yes!!!! this is exactly how I feel at the moment. Lack of sleep between two. dinner, clean, MUM!!!!!!!! I’m hungry, mum where’s this, that. Fuck!!!!! I feel like I’ve become a vessel for just doing and getting things. I know it is a funk of sorts and will pass. I love my home and family but sheeessh. Love your posts and beautiful pics make my day brighter.

  16. Yes, THIS. It’s August. I’m always done with winter by August. No more sentimentalising the cool weather – I need warmth and sun and longer days and bare legs and cold G & Ts on a warm afternoon and children running around in the garden. Bring on springtime for all our sakes!

  17. Snap snap snappity snap. Hope my mood is PMS related or I’ve got nothing. Feel bleurgh.

  18. I’m catching up on some of your blog posts so scuse the late stalkerish comment, but fake it to you make it is such a good motto, so long as you throw in something rewarding in there to make it worthwhile!
    Also my mum used to warm my pjs in front of the fire and it was the best!!!! Good on you for spoiling the munchkins!

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