Mum rage in week 6 of term 4

How are you going guys? Really? It’s a tough time of the year for us Mums and I know that tensions have been a little, shall we say, high around these parts. I know I can’t be the only one, so thought we all better check in on each other.

I’m feeling pretty tired. The tiredness has been from the morning starts that have been getting earlier and earlier as the year has gone on. That 5.30 start moved to 5.15 and then 4.55 because I need to try and get some quiet time to get some work or exercise done.

I think I am a few kilos heavier than I was this time last year which means that I need to stop shovelling carbs in and exercise but did I mention that there isn’t much time in the day?

The kids are EXHAUSTED and frazzled and nerves frayed as we all seem to combust into arguments with each other about shit that totally doesn’t matter. Everyone is over everyone, and everything.

There seems to be mess everywhere and I can’t seem to get on top of it. This mess is in small containers of little girl SHITE that is all the collected little toys that multiply from somewhere and are kept in small baskets and containers everywhere. I have the STRONGEST urge to take every one of those baskets and throw them in the bin but then I will have a meltdown from Maggie like I did yesterday when both her and I were in tears over a missing Barbie bracelet that I apparently threw out (do you know how small a Barbie bracelet is?!), we found it, thank god.

It’s Christmas in 5 weeks, school will be breaking up soon and the year is over and I am feeling like CAN THIS JUST ALL SLOW THE FUCK DOWN PLEASE I AM DIZZY.

Mum rage. Alive and well here.

I’m not sure how the best way we can combat this is though. Exercise helps for sure (why I am getting up in the 4s now, but means that by 8.30pm I am off to bed before the bigger kids and I literally have no time out life beyond work and kids anymore). Listening to music REALLY loudly helps. Setting small tasks (like a one thing) seems to help because you knock something off from the usual daily grind that can make you feel like you got something done. Going easy on yourself can also help, lower expectations, surrender, accept and just be also does the trick. As does water, maybe some meditation (and yes Rob my meditation is watching Real Housewives of wherever). The self care thing we hear so much about can be stripped right back at this stage of the year: I don’t have time for facials and lunches or movies, but I can put my phone down and have a cup of tea with some sunshine on my back. I can go for a 15 minute walk with the dog and not beat myself up about the fact it wasn’t a 60 minute run. Every little bit helps.

Mum burn out is a real thing, and I want you to look after yourself at this time of year. Instead of a to do list, write down all the shit you get done in the day as you do it. It will be REALLY long. Pat yourself on the back dinner got made again. Take shortcuts. Be kind to yourself.

I’d love to hear how YOU try and steer some control back into your life at this stage of the year when everything seems to be spinning out of control. More sleep? Less sleep? Exercise? Lists? Stopping. Tell us all everything so we can try and simmer the Mum rage that has been bubbling over the past few weeks for me.

I think I am going to try and clean the toy room in the next week. Chuck out all the stuff that seems to be driving me mad. Clean out the drawers that make me FURIOUS with badly wedged clothes that don’t fit anymore. Clean out my wardrobe where I can never find anything. That’s a start (these are Maggie related things the big two obvs clean out their own shite, but she is 4 and is more of a hindrance than a help before someone tells me to get the children on board. They are, she is a 4 year old hoarder).

But tell me, about your Mum rage.
Your pressure points.
Your triggers.
And how you try and calm the farm.
There’s not enough evening primrose oil in all the land for me I’m afraid…

Comments

  1. My hubby decided to also through a new job on my pile as well. OMG really!!!
    I’m thoroughly enjoying my mornings though, thankfully my girls sleep in. So I’m up at 6 to exercise, shower and enjoy my breakfast and my coffee before I get inundated with the morning rush.
    My girlfriends and I are going to take a bottle of wine to a friends new house on the weekend so we get a chance to decompress otherwise it’ll be Christmas before you know it.

  2. Timely, so timely, I honestly feel like I have adrenal fatigue this morning with the 3 year old from hell who screamed for 1.5 hours yesterday about yoghurt, on top of the 8 month old puppy destroying everything, the five year old who pretty much literally doesn’t have ears (and wait, wasn’t I meant to get his hearing checked?! Another thing I’ve dropped the ball on?!) and the poor 8 year old carrying my stress and telling everyone to be nice to mummy! Thanks for this, it makes me feel more normal!

  3. My eldest had thrown appendicitis and d as n E. coli blood infection into the pre Christmas end of term mix. I am locked in a freaking hospital with a house renovation about to start, unsure of when I need to move out of the house, no Xmas presents purchased ( not even a list), a half planned holiday to Japan for January, busy at work… For some reason in the hospital there is no motivation to try and do these things via the internet!

    2019… not the best on record!

  4. Sounds like you need a Dot cuddle

  5. I have purchased not one Christmas gift, which is giving me massive anxiety. Thankfully my ‘to buy’ list is fairly small, but I’m still thinking when am I going to buy and what? Teens are hard to buy for!!! I have just had my MIL here for 10 days and next week my mum arrives for two weeks. I did ask my mum to visit but now Im thinking, was I nuts?? End of year burn out is REAL, and with all the school stuff, catch ups, people to see, places to be, and general life admin still happening, it feels really overwhelming. I know its crazy but its so nice to see and feel like someone else, (lots of someone elses!) have the same feeling. Im actually going to cut myself some slack today and watch some of The Crown.

  6. Linda Jenkins says

    Thanks for checking in Beth ! My self care is getting enough sleep , trying to eat well and not drink too much. Lists are my thing too – so many lists !!
    It is our sons 21st 2 weeks before Christmas so we are planning 2 events for that also.
    Christmas – pros – I have done some shopping and have organised one side of the family with get togethers, meals, presents etc
    Cons- the other side of the family is going through some challenges this year and there are some issues to navigate ! I am feeling sad about all that . We also have a daughter living and working in Canada for a couple of years so will definitely miss her over the holiday season.
    Take care of you as much as you can. Good on you for making time for the exercise !!

  7. Oh I hear ya!!!
    Last week I was at my parenting worst with 1 of my kids. She was pushing ALL of my buttons & the only way I seemed to respond was with rage screaming. It was not pleasant & resulted in me crying to my husband “ why can’t i be the parent she needs!”
    I knew a few weeks back that the overwhelm of this time of year was starting to drown me so first thing I did was log out of insta. I don’t need the distraction. When I’ve got lots to do why am I picking up my phone to look at other peoples lives?! I normally log out for most of December but I needed it earlier this year. Then I write a massive list of things that need to done/sorted/booked ect. I find if I can see it all in front of me I have more control over it. I’ve ticked 1 or 2 things off a week. Sure, it might not get done by Christmas but who cares. Next, I’ve been turning up my health burner so I can function properly. Lots of water, lots of healthy food, more sleep. It really does make a difference. And finally I’m trying to make time for nice times. A visit to the hawkers markets with my mates. A day in the city with my kids. I even booked an anniversary dinner in a Monday night ( UNHEARD of for us). It’s so easy for me to push on with all the NEEDS to be done instead of doing the things that I’d rather do so I’m trying to do things different. And I agree, loud music makes a world of difference!!! I’ve also really hooked back in to audiobooks, podcasts & real books. Much goodness for my soul.

    May the force be with you Beth xx

    • Hi Reannon,

      I have been thinking about you this week. I miss seeing your life on Insta, but I’m glad you’re doing what works for you.

      Hooray for upping the self-care. You’re ace!

      Annette x

      • Oh Annette, thank you! You truly are so lovely.

        And yep, I’m going ok. I was in a major funk but I think I’m getting myself out of it. Taking care of ourselves & our mental health is hard! But I’m trying 🙂

        Love to you x

    • Such wise words here Reannon – how I wish I could log out of insta (alas my work doesn’t let me!) but there are solutions I can take on too so thanks for sharing xxx

      • I really feel for you business owners cause there just isn’t any close of business with the socials is there? I can imagine they are great for some things but the fact you almost always have to be open & available must be SUPER draining!
        I logged back in the other day & after 24 hours I realised I just wasn’t as interested as I thought & that I wasn’t missing anything so logged out again. Haven’t deleted the app but I know I just use it as a boredom buster when I should be using “clean out the toy room” as my boredom buster 😬

  8. Oh Beth, ‘she is a four year old hoader’ made me smile. Poor you!
    Get her watching The Minimalists documentary, and a bit of Marie Kondo, stat!

    I am not a mum (praise be), but the had enough thing is definitely in full swing – I am so SICK of my usually quite nice work colleagues and the blah blah blah of office life. I just want to be done with them for the year.

    Only 22 more work days to go until three weeks of glorious annual leave. To wit, I’ve booked myself a little trip away to the countryside, which is something I’m looking forward to. I think a little goal like that helps to get us across the finish line.

    You’ve got this mums of BabyMac world!

    Feed the kids chicken nuggets, nobody will know.

  9. Last week I screamed at my kids and husband and even my cat. Accomplished nothing except making everyone unhappy including myself ☹️
    This week I have organised the shit out of a massive shopping day where I purchased and ordered everything (EVERYTHING!!!!) for 8 nieces and nephews and my own 2 kids for Xmas plus my oldest child’s birthday prezzies for next week (💸💸) Today I had a breakfast with a lovely friend and tomorrow night that new XMAS movie with my best girl friends. So, Mum rage happens but then you feel better and get your shit done and it’s all ok again. xx

  10. Oh Beth, your posts like this come at the exact right time for me. I feel the same way although I ain’t getting up in the fours, rather getting up to Groundhog Day. Maybe I need to throw some exercise in, okay, yes I do need to get movin’. Things I am doing in between fits of Mum rage are buying myself flowers, trying to slow down and really be in the moment with my kids, planning a thing or two exciting on the calendar. Think things will slow down as a few of our activities for the year wind up in the next couple of weeks. Already planning on not committing to as much next year. Love reading your posts, they make me laugh and smile. Thank you x

  11. Bev I just l LOVE the idea of making a list of all the things we’ve done rather than a to-do list. Amaze balls suggestion. Doing it now! Thank you that in the midst of all the chaos you still find time to put blog posts like this out in the world and make us all feel better x

  12. Oh Beth, it’s certainly in the air! All of the jobs turn us into a raging psycho. I took my eldest (11-year-old) to a little retreat a couple of weeks ago, it was it in the Blue Mountains and it was all about the ‘girls growing up’. It was amazing and lovely and all of the beautiful things I had expected – and more… But, I was forced to stop. I had pains in my chest (literally) because I was at an Airbnb with ONE child and was not doing 72 jobs in a day, I wasn’t even doing ONE!! I was determined to not be on my phone and to be just ‘present’ and my gosh, it was an awakening. Women need to slow down, I’m an advocate for it, I’m a health and wellness coach for gods sake!!! Can you actually even believe that?! I’m trying to live a life of ‘wellness’ whilst trying to build a business which in itself is 100% consuming. Plus all of the other things that need to happen, everything is so urgent! I’ve come away from that though so aware. I knew I was spiralling into a psycho who has zero time for anything except for Productivity and having to STOP was like being punched in the chest by a brick. I’m now taking 10 minutes a day to meditate which changes me almost immediately. I’m going to bed earlier and of course exercising (I’m a 4’s wake up person too). I‘m mindful of what I’m eating (stress, tiredness and anxiety has us shovelling whatever is on the kitchen table/pantry/fridge into our mouth’s… Thanks for the leftovers kids!.😩. I’m now trying to breathe. We all need to do it!!

    Good luck for the next few weeks! Would love you to follow me on my wellness page! I’m keeping it real over there… Love Being is who I am on fb lovebeing.life on insta

    Keep having those cups of tea with the sunshine on your back, the little things are everything. Thanks for keeping us all sane with your authentic words. Love xx

  13. Mum rage is well and truly in our house also at the moment.

    I exercise as early as I can to get on top of the boiling point. Being a clean freak I have taken a step back on how clean everything has to be and just vacuuming and mopping, dusting can wait.

    Meals are really simple and I try to get some time to have a quick shower without all the talking.

    Holidays couldn’t come soon enough. Hang in there lovely, it’s tough this time of year xx

  14. Yes to getting up in the 4’s, yes to going to bed before the kids (well when they are home anyway), yes to putting earphones in when the drums are being played (give me strength)….. hang in there! You’ve got this!

  15. – 30min daily exercise minimum (30min if you’re sweating, 60min if not)
    – limited alcohol on max 1 day a week
    – a timed 30min a day screen time cut off for all social media apps and TV (it’s either/or for me usually)

    Do it for a month. I swear it works absolute wonders. It puts your mind out of overdrive / overstimulation and it helps me to be in the moment. Life can be hard, but we also sabotage ourselves A LOT.

  16. CAN. RELATE.

    I have no easy or quick solution, mine is to just let go. If it aint life threateningly necessary, then fuck it.

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