The wonder, terror and joy of TWO

Who-eeeeeeeee have we got a two year old on our hands at the moment. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. And it’s not just me that’s saying it, it’s coming from the girls and the dog with each of us uttering over the past week “just give her what she wants to make it stop!” I am not sure what happens at this magical age, a determination to flex their own attitude, to have a say on what they want, an ability to not be able to process any of it and a stubbornness like no other age, but it’s a little, shall we say, tricky.

Don’t be fooled by this, at times over the last week it’s been like dealing with a terrorist. Can you actually see her mind ticking over? Frightening isn’t it?

And that dress? She’s had it on 6 days in a row. Washed in between because SHE NEEDS THE TWIRLY DRESS. Just wash the dress already and no one gets hurt.

I wanted to highlight a couple of pearlers from the past week that have been particularly two like.

1. The green spoon

4-6pm is never really going to be her best time. It’s when she is excited to have the kids back and wants to play, but inevitably they are tired and have homework to do and don’t want to play so the whinging all round can be quite high. I try and distract while cooking dinner with her own cooking…think tupperware and bowls and spoons and dry pasta. Last week NOTHING WAS RIGHT. Nothing. The bowls were wrong, I was wrong. And when I offered her a spoon to mix with I dead set got “NOT THAT SPOON” when I asked what was wrong with the spoon I got “IT’S TOO GREEN”. The green spoon was too green.


2. The time travel photo

Mid tantrum a few days ago when everything was “I don’t like it”. She didn’t like the show she was watching, the high chair, her sisters, the breakfast choices, the fact it was August etc etc when she spotted herself in a photo on the fridge when we were in Italy. She literally lost her mind because Rob was holding her in the photo and not me. “Not Daddy hold me, MUMMY HOLD ME”. Like go back in time and sort that injustice out now what were you thinking Rob?!

Uh huh.

3. The mini stylist

And yet there are pearlers that come out too. I asked her what she thought of my outfit when I was getting dressed and working out combos in front of the mirror as she walked in to find out where I was. A simple “what do you think of this Mags” got me this reply “I think it’s really working.” Um sorry WHUT? She had a point it was working. She also let Frank know when he got back from the groomer that he was “styling” which helped his sad disposition post haircut. I think he even got a pep in his step.

Where does it even come from?

Two is fiery and fierce (POTUS a little like that too now that I come to think of it including the dummy spits). It’s adorable. And tiring. And hilarious. And right now, I fear for three and four. And the next few months as we lead into day light savings. We may well be starting our day at 3.45am. Hold me.

Got a 2 year old?
Any spoons too green in your house too?


  1. But… But… She knows her colors!

  2. Hahaha hahaha, too funny. I remember when my youngest was two she cracked it big time l because she wasn’t in a photo of us and her two siblings because she wasn’t born yet.

  3. Threenager here! Coughed loudly until her poorly baby brother woke up then acted surprised…and a million other tantrums each day ?

  4. Our nearly 3 year old has been pushing ALL the buttons in the last week – epic tantrums at getting dressed time in the morning when we are all trying to get out the door to work. I was telling her pre school teacher about our struggles and she said we should just bring her to daycare in her PJs and they would take care of it for us. So this morning, when the meltdown started I just let it go and we wandered down the road in our fluffy blue onesie and everyone was happy and there were no teas! BLESS the childcare workers who know better than I do and help us stay sane.

  5. Every time I read an update, I shudder as we are a few months behind and I know what is coming. We’ve just had our very first ever, ever, ever day care day, first for me as I did not do it with my girl. The boy wizard had a ball, ate everything in sight, slept 2 hours and didn’t want to come home. I wrote 3000 words on my latest historic novel and I feel like I just won the lotto!!!!

  6. Love the mini stylist.
    My little lady is six weeks off turning two. We have had a few of those tantrums where hubby and I just look at each other with no idea what it’s over. My other favourite is no. What do you want for breakfast Miss G? No. Do you want weetbix? No. Do you want rice bubbles? No. Do you want toast? No. And around we go again. I suspect the rest is to come once she actually turns 2. Thanks for sharing, as I had forgotten this stage from when Miss 5 was this age. Oh and I actually got a finger wagging yesterday. I don’t think I’ve ever wagged my finger at her 🙂

  7. My youngest is almost 11, but at 2-3 he would chuck a tantrum anywhere and everywhere! The supermarket was one of his favourite places to chuck tantrums and I was constantly mortified. Once he even wiggled himself under the shelving units screaming his lungs out…I think that might have been the last time he went for a very long time. I banned him for years and always waited until hubby was home to do the shopping.

  8. God I can relate to this post so much. Have a 2 year old and a newborn to just add to the fun. Stubborn, defiant and generally has to be always right is my 2 year old. The good moments are great but those bad ones are really bad. It can really push you to the brink. My daughter is also obsessed with a specific spoon, it must be the pink baby spoon for breakfast and her doll must come with us everywhere….down the street, bath time, dinner time, bed time! It is absolutely filthy but I can never get it away from her to wash ?

  9. Dear God!!! I do not miss that stage at all!! I have boys and both of them were good until 3. They were the hell on earth years for both, jeez, I need a nap just remembering it all. BUT. Amongst all those hard painful god almighty moments were the pearlers that made us laugh till we cried and thats what we remember. My youngest still, comes out with the funniest one liners that have us all in stitches.

  10. Eldest didn’t commence his toddler tantrums until after turning three. Youngest started her ‘terrible twos’ at 14 months and can still let loose with a toddler tantrum at 10 years of age. Strap yourself in….

  11. YES! My 2 1/2 yr old Albie must wear his tiger jumper EVERY DAY. I told him a few days ago it had been washed and was on the line, and he made me get it off and put it on him – wet.

    This is how breakfast goes down:
    What do you want Albie?
    Are you sure? The others are having fruit toast.
    Albie, here is your muesli.

    And if he doesn’t get to press the green button on the remote to turn the telly on or off – may the fires of hell rain down upon us all!

    Terrifying and hilarious in equal measure.

  12. My oldest had her terrible twos starting at one, then I blissfully thought my “perfect” second child had skipped them altogether only to find he actually started at 3. To the power of ten. Sadly now his younger sister, the third child, has turned one and seems to be taking after the oldest i.e. starting already. So I have two of them! I need wine!!!

    Anyway yes I sympathise.

  13. I found if I worded a question with the better option mentioned last, it often worked, especially if I made it a long sentence! ‘would you like bland old rice bubles or some delicious, beuticious lovely muesli in a special bowl?’ They couldn’t remember the first option, said so many words ago. ‘Will we use the old green spoon or will I go to the rainbow and find a lovely orange spoon that’s the colour of sunset?’

  14. The best quote from my then 2 year old (now 7) in the midst of frustration/ anger / determination/ toddlerness was “MY RICE BUBBLES ARE POPPING TOO LOUD” good time ????

  15. I always liked the false choice: would you like to put your shoes or your coat on first”? Seemed to give them a sense of control and not throw a hissy at being asked to do something. Or, of course, a real choice when available: “would you like the green spoon or the blue one?”

  16. Im sorry, BUT JUST LOOK AT HER. Hell she is adorable. I wish I could turn back the clock and have my time with my kids again. Our daughter Sophie, middle child, although brothers either side was a stubborn little lady, but I wish they just didn’t grow up so quickly. You will miss them when they have all flown away from home. Enjoy her and I know how hard it is but time just goes so bloody fast. I mean this in a good way but I think she is like her mummy. lol

  17. omg… I have a three year old. Someone asked me what the problem was the other day and I replied “He’s three….”

    I’d be very worried about your two year old being a three year old. *G*

  18. Yes, 2.5 year old here whos fav line is ‘GOODNESS!’ With a mix between an eye roll and a side eye. Tonight’s dinner was interesting she started repeating quietly and then yelled her final one ‘PENIS’ (she has a big brother)

  19. Two year olds are the height of nonsense logic & irrationality aren’t they?? Sometimes the changes of mind can make the head spin! Two was hell on earth with my first (face-melting tantrums. All. Day. Long.) but the second can speak a lot better & hearing what goes on inside that little head is pretty hilarious. Today the outfit he ended up wearing to kinder pickup (at 1.30pm) was his Paw Patrol pyjamas – “Porka’s” for short – paired with high blue and green gumboots (the “Puss-In-Boots Boots”) & big brother’s Lightening McQueen bike helmet. Needless to say, there was no bike riding involved, just a 20min car trip each way & a trip to the supermarket in said helmet. At least they’re entertaining ??

  20. My oldest will be 2 in just 3 weeks. I hear you with the 5am wake ups and hostage style negotiations over EVERYTHING!

    Our classic 2 year oldism from this week involved a toasted cheese sandwich. She frequently requests them for lunch (and every other time of the day too for that matter). It goes well until I get the cheese out of the fridge and then all hell breaks loose – “NO CHEEEEEESE!!!” Complete meltdown about cheese going in sandwhich continues until its ready to eat (including her repeatedly yelling at me to take it out of the sandwhich maker now). Happiest child ever when presented with said cheese sandwich. Lots of talk about the cheese and how much she loves it. Now if I could just work out how to do a toasted cheese sandwich without the cheese!

  21. Our third girl was a terrible tyrant too – it was hard to discipline with her two older sisters finding it hard to cope with her tantrums when told no. It felt like we were walking on eggshells every day! She’s five now and just so sweet and happy. Even terrorists can be reformed xx

  22. The wrath of a two year old when you can’t fix the banana they broke in half “Fix it Mummy – FIX IIIIITTTTTT”! ??

    And now he’s three and we have conversations like this
    “M would you like a Vegemite sandwich”
    “no I want Vegemite toast”
    “ok – I’ll make you some toast”
    “yes but not toasted”
    “right so you want a Vegemite sandwich” “yes a Vegemite sandwich”
    Some days my brain hurts ?

  23. The dress one made me laugh and nod! Our three year old will only wear his one pair (of almost too tight to sit down in) blue jeans. He tells me “wash and dry then quickly please Mum”…ok…overnight in Winter with no dryer ?

  24. Oh man. Based on the comments it sounds like it hits girls sooner than boys. We have 2.5 year old twins. Our boy twin is a sweet, gentle, quiet little thing whereas our girl twin… sounds like she’s gone through the same college of irrationality as Maggie. Meltdowns because the ocean of milk on her cereal is still not enough, or because she’s wearing the wrong socks and noone (not even her) know which ones are the right socks, or because mummy’s not sitting on the right chair at dinner. And so on!

  25. Mr 4.5 is almost in the clear. He’s told me today that he’s not batman unless he wears the cape (naturally) and that the book that was gifted to us when mr 10 was in utero was also meant for him (sure mate). Sigh.

  26. Oh! Too adorbs darls!
    Love the creatives!
    Love mxx

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