Baby Files #7

Note: the Monkey & Mum necklace giveaway winner has been chosen. The lucky winner was Belinda with this comment: “Absolutely yes to all the things baby. My big boy was swaddled til he was over 7 months, and my little boy until 9 months and will still get swaddled on occassion now at 10months+. NOTHING WRONG WITH IT!!! The only reason we don’t still swaddle him is because of the heat and the untimely death of our aircon (and subsequent BILLION WEEKS WAIT for someone to replace it).

My MIL would often tell me what my baby ‘should’ be doing in terms of sleep. My nephew is exactly the same age so the comparisons are endless. I couldn’t give two hoots, but when I’ve had 2 rotten sleepers, and my BIL and SIL have had 3 excellent sleepers, how do you not think it’s you? 

Meanwhile, I’d love a fancy necklace. Not so much for my still-breastfeeding-10-month-old, but for me who wants to look fancy on occassion! Taming the wild beast during feedings would be the icing on the cake. Or nutmeg on the custard tart.”

Thanks to everyone for entering. Original post follows below…

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Big news on the baby front this week. Maggie did not like her dinner. Everyone’s a critic.

I don’t know what her problem was. Maybe the fact that this was what the big girls got:

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And all she was left with was some deconstructed rissole crumbs and some chips on the tray of her high chair. Granted I need to work on my plating skills Maggie, but you need to work on lots too. Just saying. When I say things like that to her she usually looks at me like this.

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Boss lady.

So Kate has been out and about, in her ACTIVE WEAR.

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Shopping in her active wear.

I usually eat custard tarts in my active wear, so she’s one up on me. OF COURSE SHE IS. I wonder if Charlotte is crawling, has teeth, so much to ponder on isn’t there? Kate, you are never far from my thoughts and my daily google searches continue to show me that you don a coat like no other! The man beside her giddy as a school girl as he smells her superior locks flicking behind her. I wonder if she’s lost any hair post partum? I have well and truly hit the shity hair stage at 9 months on, it’s limp and greasy and falls out. Sigh.

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In other news, Saint West has had his first picture whacked on social media. KUTE.

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Oh I do love some waffle cotton. And a sleeping baby. And what appears to be at least 1200 thread count sheets. I’d be sleeping too Saint.

Speaking of sleep, I STILL haven’t been able to get my baby girl un-swaddled while she sleeps. I’ve tried, DEAR LORD I HAVE TRIED. I’ve got the Love to dream zipable swaddle thing, I’ve tried one arm out, both arms out, all of the things and the kid CANNOT sleep without it. As soon as they are covered up, she’s out like a light. You’d think that would be enough for me to be all like “OK then, that’s what you like, let’s go with that” but I still manage a “well the other two were well and truly in sleeping bags at her age WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?!”. Old habits die hard I guess. I’m going to wait for this last round of whooping cough related sickness to pass, get some good health behind us and try again. Right? Right!

Until then my 3 girls can just keep looking at me like this when I bark at everyone because I’m TIRED:

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Speaking of old habits and tiredness, last week I found myself in a parental spiral of WHY ME/US/WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?

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You see, my Mum had had Archie over for a sleepover the night before I was staying. And she was saying how he has his bottle at 7pm and then went into his cot and made not one noise until 6.30am the following morning. And I was all like THAT’S SO GREAT FOR YOU AND ARCHIE MUM SHUT UP ALREADY. I mean he has been doing this pretty much since about 4 months old. And DEAD SET I don’t know, but my kids have just never done this. Like ever. Ever! And it made me start to wonder what I am doing wrong because how can some kids do it and others can’t? It just doesn’t make sense. It MUST be me right? Three kids. Three bad sleepers? Surely not. Surely it’s just one bad mother that does something wrong? See where I’m going here? Spiralling down into a why me, what did I do, blah blah blah. I had to seriously pick myself up, give myself a very good talking to and move the hell ON. It’s SO hard as Mum’s to compare and look for answers. Sure, I’ve created bad habits for kids along the way. I’ve sat on the floor of their rooms as they sleep, perched at the end of beds for years too long, rubbed backs, patted bottoms, rocked, breastfed to sleep all because they needed me to and because I was willing to do it. And now down the track? Well they figured that shit out somehow for themselves and now at 9 and 6 years old they go to sleep without any trouble for all of the night. While I still get woken 3-4 times every single night, it’s just the way that it is. Maggie’s cot is RIGHT next to my bed so I am going to hear her before she re-settles herself which I wouldn’t hear of she was in another room. She’s 9 months old. She’s been really sick. She has 2 other siblings. She’s a Macdonald. This is our house. Our way. Things are different for every single house in every single town in every single country.

What I’m saying is this: Go with your instinct, go with what works and dear GOD don’t compare yourself to other Mums and other kids. And if it’s not working, try and work on ways to fix it for you all. Adjust. Tweak. Try. OR just be. That works too. A lesson in zen for all of us. Me especially.

Now for something for YOU. I was sent late last year a gorgeous package from Tess who runs a great designer jewellery business called Monkey and Mum. Gorgeous necklaces created  with some great patterns and textiles especially appealing to breastfeeding Mums who have little people who like to play with something as they feed.

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They are such fun and so unique.

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Here’s the one that I was lucky enough to get my paws on.

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And thanks to Tess, she is happily going to give one away to you guys! You can choose whichever one you like from her range just leave me a comment below telling me something you have learnt this week from being a Mum. Simple right? For me, it’s been to stop comparing myself to other Mums AND to just accept that right now, things are the way they are, and isn’t that a blessing in itself?

Give away open from today until 9pm Sunday 28th Feb AEST. You can read the rest of the T&C’s here. Thanks Tess!

What have you been doing in your active wear?
Cooked a dud dinner for your kids?
Want one of these gorgeous necklaces? Leave me a comment below!

Comments

  1. I’ve learnt this week that being a full time working mum with sick children is hard, hard, hard. So if it’s take away dinner on a Tuesday night so be it. Be kind to yourself!

  2. My “babies” are 16 and 15. And while the 16 year old boy in particular could now compete in the sleeping Olympics, I tell you, it wasn’t always that way! Both kids were HORRENDOUS sleepers. Just awful. And 45 minute day time catnappers. 14 years after they finally learned how to sleep, I’m still transported right back there! So I hear you! And you KNOW it will get better. And then you will get a new puppy that wakes up at 2:45am, 5am and 6am. Just so you never forget. Pass the hamburger over here, Maggie!

  3. wendy Ahern says

    Hi Beth. I just love your posts. I have baby Maeve and she is almost 11 months so I can relate to a lot of what you say. I also have Millicent who is nearly 3 so she keeps me on my toes. What have I learnt this week? Well I made the decision to give up breast feeding as I just can’t take another round of mastitis and my cracked bleeding nipples are so painful. I’ve been terribly sad since her last breast feed 2 days ago and my body has been in a world of pain with engorgment and stomach cramps but this morning I think I’m through the woods. The first day I was sobbing cuddling her telling her how sorry I am for taking away the breast. But it has to be done and we will be ok. Only a mum knows what is best for their baby and for them. A healthy mum is good for everyone. And Maggie must just really love her swaddle and needs her mumma in the night. She’ll work it out. But if you ever think it’s time to call for some help, I can highly recommend Katie Forsyth from The Baby Sleep Company. I had a consultation with her and it felt like she was an old friend and my new BFF. She works with all types of parenting styles from attachment to ninja (I made that one up). She can do Skype calls as she’s based in Brisbane. Enjoy your girls. Love your work

  4. I learnt how to say no. Not a “no you can’t have chocolate before dinner” kinda no, a real, “no, you are not going to a concert with just your friends, in the city, with no parental supervision at the age of 13 kinda no!” I’ve never had to do this before. This is a first.
    My daughter just hit year 9. I remember being in year 9 and asking my parents to go to a U2 concert with my boyfriend and thought they were the worst parents on the PLANET for not letting me go!
    Now here I am, doing the same. We did try and compromise, to make it work and offer to take them in to the concert and pick them up, but apparently that was NOT COOL. It’s been 2 days and she still hasn’t spoken to me… this parenting gig is REALLY HARD!

  5. I learnt that you can break your hand from having your brother sit on it and then you can catch gastro from the hospital emergency waiting room. Seriously?! They jump and ride and crash into each other as brothers do and he breaks his hand simply by having it on the couch when his brother sat down?! You just can’t predict what motherhood is going to throw at you next. Enjoy the ride!

  6. “This too shall pass”
    As a first time mum of a now 6 month old (I can’t believe we made it to six months!?) I have daily had to intentionally be GENTLE and GRACIOUS to myself whilst repeating ‘this too shall pass’ in the middle of the night with a crying, unsettled, screaming baby with reflux.
    I have been tangibly shown that we are all unique and there is great beauty in difference. I have also realised that comparison is the great thief of contentment. Instead of comparing I now list the precious things I am thankful for each day: smiles, giggles, cuddles, the determined little girl who knows what she wants – who has irreversibly changed our lives and to her as her mum just for now she wants to be with me.
    Many babies around us have slept through the night and been really settled – that hasn’t been our experience but each day I am truly thankful for the blessing of our little girl and wouldn’t swap her for any amount of sleep.

  7. Laine Cusack says

    I think it’s the breastfeeding thing that makes them not want to sleep. I b-fed my daughter for 2.5 years and during that time she was a shit sleeper, like waking every two hours at night and no day sleeps shit. Once she weaned she started sleeping so much better. I think the boob was such a comfort for her and she used to wake for it until she no longer needed to. My Mum and Dad told me it was karma because I was a crap sleeper as a baby haha thanks guys, such support.
    You’re doing a great job, don’t beat yourself up!

  8. Hahaha I love Maggie’s sweet little face in that video!! She’s like one of the judges on Masterchef!
    I had trouble transitioning my son out of the love to dream swaddles, so I got a product called Sleepy Wings – they are just an arm bit (if that makes sense!?) so you can start using sleeping bags with the wings over the top. Transitioning out of the wings was a bit easier later because the sleep association was all about the sleeping bag eventually. I wish you luck whatever you do!
    This week I learnt that as a mum that I needed to follow through on my threats! My 2.5 year old was being a turd in the middle of the shops so we left before getting a babycino. That was the End Of The World for him but I put on my big girl pants and followed through even though it would have been less stressful to just get him one. Hopefully he will start to change his behaviour a little!

  9. My girl Grace is turning 5 in May and thinks she should be a teenager already ? My boy Quinn has just turned 15mths. The big thing that I have learned is to stop listening to others, listen to your child and do what works for your family and your sanity. I was 10wks pregnant with Quinn and my husband got a job contracting interstate so flying from Melbourne to Perth. He would be gone 2wks at a time and home for 2days. He had been made redundant and out of work for 5mths prior, we needed this job as nothing was coming up here. He had to do this for 18mths before getting work back in Melbourne. He was on an aeroplane when I had my boy. After that he flew back every wk for 2 days. In that time frame having a new born and practically single parenting I rocked my boy to sleep as he would be asleep in 5/10mins settled and I could then spend time with my daughter. I have realised not to stress about what you do as when their ready it just all happens. For children it is a sense of security and feeling safe to be close to their mums, listen to your heart and to what your child is telling you, you will know when it’s good to change something. Don’t change for the sake of it because someone else’s child is doing something wait until it feels the right time.

  10. Oh Beth! You’re doing an amazing job! Maybe you’re just the coolest mum so your kids want to spend as much time with you as possible, especially overnight!

    On a more serious note .. I know poor little Maggie has been really sick, but are you considering moving her into her own room at some point? I found when we moved Oliver into his own bedroom, he slept a lot better. Don’t despair though! You’re doing an amazing job.(and I totes agree that as mothers, it’s so hard not to compare babies. It’s the stupidist thing though!)

  11. Sleepy wings. Google them. They’re awesome for transitioning.

  12. Oh I have had a BIG mum learning week!
    I learned that holidays with Mr 3.5 and Miss 7 months old are a nightmare, genuinely.
    I learned that it is MY expectations that need adjusting at times, and that it does not matter to the little ones if days are not perfectly executed.
    I learned that when your mother in law offers to come on holiday to help, to suck up your pride and say YES.
    I have learned that 4.30AM wake ups are evil. Thank you sunny Queensland.
    And lastly, I have learned, that despite all of the above, the fun we’ve had and memories we’ve made, have made it all worthwhile.
    Ps I’m tired

  13. Suzi Johnson says

    Beth, exact same issue with the love to dream swaddle. Socks on hands! One arm at a time and then sock on hand. My bub Georgia was 10 months yesterday – she only made it into a normal sleeping bag 5-6 weeks ago! All good now. Good luck!

  14. Absolutely yes to all the things baby. My big boy was swaddled til he was over 7 months, and my little boy until 9 months and will still get swaddled on occassion now at 10months+. NOTHING WRONG WITH IT!!! The only reason we don’t still swaddle him is because of the heat and the untimely death of our aircon (and subsequent BILLION WEEKS WAIT for someone to replace it).

    My MIL would often tell me what my baby ‘should’ be doing in terms of sleep. My nephew is exactly the same age so the comparisons are endless. I couldn’t give two hoots, but when I’ve had 2 rotten sleepers, and my BIL and SIL have had 3 excellent sleepers, how do you not think it’s you?

    Meanwhile, I’d love a fancy necklace. Not so much for my still-breastfeeding-10-month-old, but for me who wants to look fancy on occassion! Taming the wild beast during feedings would be the icing on the cake. Or nutmeg on the custard tart.

  15. Dude….you’re doing fab! After 3 kids, I have decided that guilt is just part of the package but I’m trying not to wallow in it. None of mine have been good sleepers. Only at little man weaned at 13 months did he sleep through and he’s our third. I always HATED that question with new babies: “Are they sleeping through the night yet?” NO THEYRE NOT!!!

  16. I have learnt this week that if you buy your child new sheets & doona set these are the ones that get drawn on with whiteboard marker. Of course it would never happen on the old set.

    Also, I am totally defeated by whiteboard marker despite trying every laundry trick I know it will not be gone.

  17. Beth don’t be hard on yourself. I broke all the rules with my kids. My now 12 year old would only cat nap on my lap during the day for a good 18 months. She was also swaddled until 2 years old. Every night she would assume the position, arms done waiting for her wrap. She loved it. I’ve rocked, I’ve patted, I’ve laid in the cot, took them in bed with me. It took me 4 years to build up the courage to have another baby after the first non sleeper. Now they are 12 and 8. My 8 year old still likes us to lay with him when he drops off to sleep, this is now a 2 minute job. Even my 12 year old likes us to lay with her, which I occasionally do. As let’s face it the hormones are kicking in and while she still likes me I will grab every opportunity. Looking back I wouldn’t change a thing, although at the time I would have killed for a solid 8 hours sleep. Before you know it they are grown and independent. Do whatever you need to get through Beth and what feels right for you. Xx

  18. Keturah Stock says

    This is by far my favourite post of yours! ALL of it.

    This week I have learnt to back off from asking my year 2 boy for too much detail about his school day… I was pouncing on him as soon as I walked through the door with ‘what did you do’ ‘what did you learn’ ‘did you do any science’ ‘who did you play with at lunch’ ‘what did you spend your canteen money on’… (like I really need to know what he spent his canteen money on…). Last night, I asked ‘How was your day’ – left it at that. And when I was dishing up tea he came to tell me that they learnt about new and old phones in history. He came to tell me and I loved it.

  19. I have three children, one an angel of a baby and perfect sleeper, one the devil in disguise and a rotten sleeper (still giving us curry!), and the third, heck, I can’t even remember (and he is only 4!!).
    We just upgraded to a king bed to fit the kids as well!! Not an every night event, but when they need us, they know where we are. Most nights I don’t even know until I roll over in the morning and there is a little person snoring next to me!! And if it means I don’t have to get up….
    Just curious….if Maggie sleeps in a swaddle, why take her out?

  20. this is a great post thanks beth! … entertainment plus!;))
    I have been laughing at mags! what a wag! she know what she wants!
    her expressions are adorable! … funny poppet!
    maybe she still isn’t feeling flash!
    then the active gear video! hilarious tears! … have seen it before!
    you are doing fine hun! everyone is different with different needs!
    we are all individuals! … not so easy when running a troupe/family!
    and your hair has been looking ab/fab! … love it!
    silica is good for hair and skin!
    have a good one hun! just keep laughing! love m:)X

  21. Kairan Meek says

    You’re not alone with the bad sleepers. I woke up this morning feeling super smug as my son has slept through the night two days in a row. Boom! He is almost 6 but it’s a win …. Right?
    Since I’m expecting in July I’ll take it!
    “This too shall pass” was also my motto … So much so that I got it tattooed on my arm. It does pass and then you wake up for the second day in a row missing their first morning smile and snuggles. Sigh. Maybe I can go and jump into bed with him now and turn the tables?

  22. So my children taught me this week that they would not fall for my exchanging their chocolate custard for chocolate coconut yoghurt, they don’t care that it’s a healthier option nor that it cost $12, not one of them will eat it and I am not the crunchy health mum, I provide them with a good range of food and that’s ok. ?

  23. Fiona Gavin says

    Well, my kids are chalk and and cheese. One bad sleeper of a little boy to start (whose now 3 and a half and still comes into our bed sometimes) and one beautiful darling 11 month old girl who just sleeps fabulously. Yes, a bit more wisdom the second time around but just the luck of the draw i think. ..
    I think you’re doing a great job. Enjoy Maggie for every moment you get, and my philosophy is, that it’s never a problem until you decide it’s a problem. Bugger what anyone else thinks! ?

  24. Tania Simmons says

    Well thank goodness you came to your senses and stopped beating yourself up. I thought I might have to come down there and slap some sense into you. My Beth just turned 11 she spends most nights sleeping with me, still. She NEVER slept through the night and NEVER napped during the day unless I was cuddling her, we were driving a long distance or wandering the shops in the old Emmaljunga! I even went to the baby whisperer – $300 later and she couldn’t get her to sleep either. My aunt (mother of 4 magnificent sleepers) took the bubba in her arms and said “I can get any baby to sleep” to which my husband replied “if you do I’ll give you $100”. No money was ever exchanged. My girlfriend said a few things that made me look at the whole situation differently. My child was otherwise happy & healthy. My child simply wanted to be with me. Was it really a problem? My child would soon be a teenager and I might be lucky to get an eye roll in passing, take the cuddles etc while you can. The day I decided that her “sleeping problem” was in fact not a problem and she did not need to be fixed, that this was infact someone else’s issue created to sell parenting books and prey on our new mother anxiety, was the day we no longer had a problem. It was simply the way things roll in our house. What do people do in tribal villages etc.? Those kids are virtually attached to the mums 24/7. They do alright. That being said Miss 9 was an independent sleeper from day one – thank goodness. As you said there is no right or wrong (and ignore anyone who tells you otherwise) each baby is different as each Mumma is different, there is only right for you, trust your instincts & do whatever works. (Sorry I went on a bit but this perfect Pinterest parenting really gets my goat).

  25. I have a 4 and 2 yr old and baby number 3 on the way. I’ve learn’t to ignore the “you should do this” bullshit and follow my gut feelings. Yes i co sleep, extended breastfeeding, baby led weaning, attachment parenting because this all feels right to me. Yes I’m tired and cranky but have slivers of deliciousness throughout tge day like when my 2 yr old says she loves me to the stars, moon back. Coffee is my best friend and I’ll sleep when they’re teenagers!

  26. Ah that old chestnut. The kids/babies/parents that seem to get everything right. My baby, 3rd child, has just started kinder. And she loves it. Like her older brothers. But she BAWLS when we leave. Like her brothers. And it breaks my heart. And I know she’ll be ok in the end. Her brothers 9 and 6 trot off to school happily now. But it doesn’t make it easier. And well meaning people tell you that ‘she has to learn’ blah blah and I wonder – what did I do wrong? How have I made three clingy barnacles? And then I decide I just had to get the heck over it and move on. They will be ok in the end.

  27. I have learnt it’s bloody hard work being a mum and that I need to take responsibility for looking after me. Hubby has been told he will be looking after both kids on a regular basis for me to do something that I choose. Bam.

  28. My son (who was an okay sleeper, but nothing like his sister who would have won medals for it) has a 10 month old who has one 20 minute day time sleep and wakes every couple of hours during the night. They’re exhausted. I feel for you … and them! I could offer advice … but it isn’t asked for, so I just keep my trap shut and sympathise. They’re all different. All wonderful. You’re doing fine!

    That look of disapproval is priceless!

    x

  29. mrs_woodette says

    That sometimes the tooth fairy is so busy getting coins to all of the children she gets tired too, falls asleep and freaks when Husband quietly screams at her at 7:00A.M “TOOTH!” Lucky the tooth fairy pops in while nobody is home during the day as well! It is ok to forget! I often forget and beat myself up about it.

  30. I hear you Beth. I am a first time mum. I have a 7 month old and I’m getting up to him at night still. It is what he needs right now and that is all that matters, I know how hard it is to not let the opinions and experiences of others rattle you. I continually worry and questions what I’m doing and wondering if it is right. It is all one big learning curve. If I had to pick just one thing this week it would be response to the needs of your baby, if it is healthy and happy keep doing what you are doing. It is right and it works. Don’t google, don’t read into things! Do what feels right for you and your baby. Amen.

  31. I found that after youngest started solids (and I was therefore feeding less), there just wasn’t enough milk there at the pre-bed feed to keep her going. Introduced a pre-bed bottle to fill her right up and it made all the difference.

  32. Parenting!! Such a tough tough tough job. I feel for you on questioning yourself. My oldest was a horrible sleeper (mostly new mum doing!) and then I learnt from my mistakes. The sleep excel spreadsheet I created to track my oldest sent me nuts. Bet you haven’t done that one! Anyway youngest was a normal sleeper, good most days but bad occasionally. Then he got worse and worse. Turned out tonsils and adenoids and had them out at 3 and sleep returned to normal. Then 18 months ago started nothing lots of small things. He has started school and his father had left and I kept being told it was normal. Long story but sleep study showed significant sleep disturbances. Diet, medication and elevated bed made some improvement but not enough. Next went down gastro path and turns out just discovered he needs surgery to correct issue. So my lesson is trust yourself, you know what’s best for your child. And someone once told me not to worry “You never see 6 year olds being pushed to school in their prams and kids stop eventually sleeping with parents long before they get a girlfriend/boyfriend”. I didn’t pay enough attention at the time but soo true. Hope things look up soon. A good day for pastry for us all.

  33. I’m watching a dear friend loose her freedom, independence and body function to motor neuron disease. She is a part of our mothers group and our first born babies brought us together. She has taught me so many things but most importantly to slow down. I too am also waiting for that night where I don’t have to get out of bed to resettle my kids, but at least I am able to and I am more than thankful for that than anything.

  34. That video of little Mags!!! Precious. It so bloody hard this parenting gig and dear me, I’ve had some times when I’ve thought WHY??? Why did I choose this, why is it hard, why are they so different, why do we judge?
    The Biggest Thing I’ve learnt is that you have to let them fail. You can’t be there all the time cleaning up their life and they need to learn resilience and stand up for themselves. That is so VERY bloody hard and I’ve felt awful and guilty too, but in the end? It’s ALL worth it.

  35. The curly haired mess says

    Oh Beth! My Evie is the same age as Maggie and she wakes atleast twice a night too. It’s taken awhile for me to accept that it’s just her and surely not something I’m doing ‘wrong’. Yet every now and again I hear that voice in my head saying ‘why me! What am I doing wrong?’ Especially when I see other younger babies sleeping through the night!! I just want one sleep through.. Just one! Haha
    I always read about Maggie and her sleep habits and feel normal again 🙂 whatever that is…?
    I refuse to sleep train her though… So it’s my fault right?! Ha!
    It will happen one day I guess… Fingers crossed.
    Love your work xo

  36. Yep, just put the 5 month old asleep in a swaddle for the 5 time today and it’s only 1:30. My theory, there are babies that sleep and there are babies that don’t. Sure I know I’ve fed to sleep too many times. I have to reign in my firey eye darts when mothers with babies that sleep give yet another suggestion. I am fearful I’ll never wean the swaddle either. We must have with no1 but I can’t remember because she never ever slept and now I’m too tired to even remember. Love the necklaces

  37. I have also learnt this week the comparing yourself to other parents is a short trip to agnst. I am doing the best I can with what I’ve got to work with, and 5 and 2.5 year old boys are sweet, challenging and clever.

  38. what gorgeous, striking necklaces! One of the many things my kids have taught me is to let go, be less controlling and trust in their capacity to learn and master new skills, even if the method and result is messy! And that you can’t spoil little ones with your love.

  39. I’m currently flying solo with my 19month old while my husband is overseas with work for a couple of months. Solo parenting, non stop. We’ve had many sleepless nights….so this week I’ve decided just to go with it. Lots of outdoor play, playdoh, Lego, sand pit, late after dinner walks, stick collecting. Less chores, more play. All of these ordinary things have helped us!

  40. There’s so much to learn in this parenting gig that it’s so hard to name just one. More recently, I have learnt with my now 3 week old, my second baby to just go with the flow and not give a rats you know what with regards to what anyone else thinks about how I feed, get him to sleep, don’t use/use a dummy, give/don’t get someone to give him a bottle of breastmilk so that I can have a shower or God forbid, go to the toilet! Since I’ve relaxed abit (only just abit because let’s face it, it’s hard to ACTUALLY relax with kids) that he is much more relaxed too, much more than my daughter ever was. The new mum gig is so, so hard.

    P.S I’ve never met another who loves the good old bakery custard tart, it’s what I crave the most while feeding and am known to refuse my own mother access to her grandchildren if she does not arrive with said baked goods. Fairs fair, right?!?

  41. Mags is hilarious!
    Saint West is a bit bloody cute!
    You are awesome!
    We’ll sleep one day Beth xx

  42. hi I love your posts , I have learned this week that and kida can be a godsend, I have moved interstate and have a 4yr old ans 10mth old and unpacking can be a nightmare especially as my gorgeous little man want to help, I have also learned patience is not one of my virtues as a mother and a bottle of wine should have been something I packed for the move lol, I have learned the simplest happiness often comes in small gestures with my baby boy also started clapping for the first time this week, I am thankful my oldest is self sufficient and I’ve also learned that toilet roll holders must be placed within reach of little hands otherwise you are constantly being asked to get their toilet papee and if not buy a holder that suctions on to wall all in all been a great week of learning lol

  43. I am in that stage of pregnancy where I’m too small for maternity clothes but my normal clothes all feel tight. Okay, I’m only 16 weeks but it’s my third baby! So in answer to your question, I have been doing everything in my active wear! Well, everything but actually exercising. Eating a lot of porridge in my active wear.

    I think you’re doing a great job, not sure how I will cope with three. The biggest thing I am still learning as a parent is just to give less of a crap about what other people think. If I’m happy and my kids are happy that’s all that should matter but it’s easier said than done. Getting better though!

    • Also wanted to write I have had a good sleeper and a bad sleeper! I feel like I have done exactly the same thing with both of them although I’m sure there was some variation. Either way, it’s so NOT you!

  44. Working full time and rushing to pick the kids up late from OOSHC, everyone is hot, two kids need help with homework / readers, making lunches for the next day – learnt a valuable ‘mum’ lesson – eggs on toast two nights in a row for dinner is just fine!!

  45. This week I’ve learnt (well am trying to learn) to just let go and be…to enjoy the little things…very hard when you’re trying to do a million things at once – looking after 3 kids, trying to work from home, support the husband and his business etc, etc, etc. I’m trying my hardest to just be in the moment, enjoy these kids while they are so little and need me so much, not worry about whether I’m doing this right or not doing that well enough. We’re healthy, we’re happy and we mostly have what we need…learning to leave the worry behind is a daily lesson!

  46. I have learnt that I can get through looking after a 3yo and a 10mo on my own for 2 weeks while hubby was away WITHOUT having to cancel my 3yo’s 4th birthday party this weekend (only threatened twice, a miracle!!). Hats off to all those single mums out there, you are seriously amazing!
    Oh, and I learnt that a little glass of wine at night is so great for the soul 😉

  47. I learnt that being on the other side of the teacher/parent dynamic SUCKS. My miss 10 didn’t make the school band this week. I thought she would. She thought she would, her teacher thought she would. But she didn’t. I am the band teacher at another school and I know what is involved and I’ve been telling irate/disappointed parents all week whose kid didn’t make it to basically suck it up and now its ME that has to do that. NOT COPING!

    Oh, and I would totally give this necklace to GORGEOUS new colleague who has come back from mat leave, has the most GORGEOUS roll polly 6 month old who she brings in for baby cuddles. Not only does this awesome woman battle through baby withdrawal and has to pump both recess and lunch, she is now running a bootcamp for us at work once a week. she is a GEM.

  48. Oh hi, Beth – love your work. My twins are 8 months and nearly exactly a month younger than Maggie so I follow her adventures with great interest. This week as a mum I learned that if your bubs all of a sudden decide they HATE to be dressed, and protest like wild banshees as you try and slip a bodysuit over their head…then sing the Hokey Pokie. Totally works. Left hand in, left hand out etc etc and all of a sudden it’s a big game. Thank god because I was otherwise faced with the prospect of living with two rudie nudies, 24/7.

  49. Beth! your posts make me laugh every time I get the chance to sit down and read them! I’d want that delicious looking burger too if I was Mags, hope it tasted as good as it looks! 9 weeks into this first time parenting thing and we are learning every day — yesterdays learning was when your baby cries in the middle of a shopping centre it is NOT because he misses mummy cuddles after being in the pram for longer than usual — but rather he has THE largest burp upsetting him wanting to explode in front of a million other unsuspecting shoppers! Today’s learning — baby farts are still hilarious 9 weeks in – to both of us. Makes a night of little sleep worthwhile when your 9 week old giggles when a fart catches him by surprise!
    We are doing the transition thing too-same same but different –from muslin wraps to the love to dream swaddles… he kept escaping from the wraps but keeps startling himself in the swaddles so it is SO much fun at our place! Thank god for baked goods (and baby farts!) to get us through the day xo

  50. I am a first time mum of a nearly 6 month old so I do a lot of daily learning about this mum business. I now know that mum guilt is a real & ever present feeling! My little girl has only catnapped during the day since 3 weeks. 40mins on the dot. Every. Single. Time. I spent 6 miserable weeks locked in her nursery trying to resettle her after each sleep. Never once worked. It nearly broke both her and I. Why did I do it? Because everybody said she needed to sleep longer. Friends, family, maternal health, books, Google etc. “Its not good for her! Have you tried resettling?” (Gosh, thanks for that suggestion I never thought of it!) My learning (a while ago) came from an off handed comment of someone I barely know, “As long as she is happy and doing well, it’s only a problem if it’s a problem for you.” Game changer for my approach to parenting. It’s not a problem for me anymore. If she wakes up and is happy I get her up and we play. I am now glad we get to spend the time together that we otherwise wouldn’t have if she slept for hours and hours during the day. It is simply the way she is, so I go with it. Maggie is beautiful, you are doing so well

    • I agree that line is a game changer too! Someone else mentioned it in the comments here and I was all like YES! That.

    • I am so glad you heard those magic words! I wasted so much time driving and walking as a friend told me my daughter was waking up after 40 minutes because i was boobing her back to sleep. I was going crazy with the walking and driving. One day I think I walked for nearly 3 hours trying to resettle her. It made no difference. She kept sleeping just the 40 minutes unless I boobed her back to sleep. Now she is 2.5 and sometimes sleeps in the car. They grow up so fast! Soak up that time with you bubba xx

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