You’ve got a friend in me


Last night we were sitting around the dinner table having a great family convo. Some nights you get nothing, others, like last night, we got the lot! Who had a crush on who (pardon?!!) who did what, what’s happening here, there and everywhere. It was very informative.

The girls have got email addresses for School now and most days I get a random message from them both Daisy telling me that even though I get cranky, she still thinks I’m awesome, and Harper telling me that she would like to be home with me and why did Maggie have to be born etc. We’d had a tough start to the week and so yesterday I sent them both a message telling them much I loved them and what good girls they are. Daisy is sad that a lot of her friends in year 6 are going to be leaving at the end of the year, and I’ve been trying to explain to her that you make friends your whole life, and that even yesterday I met a new person for coffee and I hope that we can be friends. See? I’m 38 and still trying to make friends!

We discussed friendship again at this informative dinner and I talked about how I had met up with someone that I didn’t know yesterday morning, but we had a great time chatting away with lots in common and I hope that we can be friends. Harper asked me what her middle name was, and who her best friend was. Funnily enough I didn’t ask her those questions (but these must be the kind of questions that 5 year old place a lot of importance on) but I’ll be sure to ask for Harper’s sake.

It got me thinking about how we make friends in our life. I’m still friends with some of my mates from Primary School, and definitely from High School. I’ve got old family friends who have been through everything with us, I’ve lost contact with most of my friends from Uni, but still hear from and see mates from my working days. I’ve made so many wonderful friends from our community here, the girl’s school, and of course on the line here. YOU!

And then there’s the friendships that dwindle. That you move on from for whatever reason and years later only recall those once fiery friendships as a distant memory. Or those that let go of you…without you ever really knowing why. That’s the worst.

Friendships are so important to us as humans. We thrive on connection. There’s nothing like a long ladies lunch, a Sunday long lunch with friends and kids, a dinner party with adults all having fun, being silly. I’ve had to become open to meeting new people since we moved down here, I remember that Rob and I made a conscious effort to take up every opportunity because you just don’t know where your new best mate could be.

Who’s some of your best friends?
Have you made a new friend lately? Or lost one?
Do you know their middle names?

Image from here.


  1. I agree Beth, lots of people come and go throughout your life and you sometimes know why and sometimes you don’t. Living away from the city and coming to a little village has shown me a different type of friendship. I belong to a beautiful group of ladies who are like sisters, mothers, friends…. They give support if your family is not near and you need help or laugh along with you at your stories…

    Everyone comes into your life for a reason and leave a mark on you for life……

  2. And to think, if Harry’s cat Wilson didn’t pass away, we may have never of met!

  3. I have somehow managed to still have a friend from preschool ! We started preschool together, went to the same primary school & stayed friends then went to the same high school where we ended up in the same group of friends & we are still friends. We don’t see each other often as she moved away & I stayed in the same area but catch up occasionally & keep in facebook contact.
    I knew the new friend I had made at the kids school would end up staying a friend forever when I rang her one day in tears to share some horrible news I had just received. There was a knock on my door 5 minutes later & she was standing there holding a box of tissues, she couldn’t fix what was making me sad so she came over to give me a cuddle while I cried.

  4. timely. My gorgeous friend of 30 years [ who first spoke quietly with me when i entered Year 7 as a student from a small school ,just 4 in my Yr 6 class, to a school of hundreds] just phoned from the US where she now lives. She still makes my heart sparkle and i love hearing her voice even with an American twang. i think it’s the friends you make when you are not trying that take a special place in your heart for a long time. It’s tough making new friends but i always think that once my very special friends were strangers to me too.

  5. Hurray for friends! It’s wonderful watching my two year old make friends. But my bestie is Amanda. We have adopted each other as sisters. It’s official. It’s on Facebook.
    I just realized I don’t know her middle name though! There is a small paddock between our houses and we both joke about our kids being this slightly geeky, a little socially awkward but very sweet little gang of misfits playing in the paddock while we drink wine and read cookbooks.

  6. I love this, so true, I only just finished having a chat with someone about a friend who has let me down, the friendship has dwindled, but I can accept it for what it is and cherish what we’ve had and I don’t believe in buring bridges because sometimes we move apart and drift back together.
    I read somewhere in the last week about a school friendship rekindled and the term ‘they were out there in the wilderness for 10 years before they reconnected’ was used. I loved that thought, that friendships sometimes head out into the wilderness.

  7. FYI… my middle name is Bridget ?

  8. I’ve struggled with this over the years, when I moved here from Scotland I found it impossible to make friends, I was a quiet country girl living in the City. Since moving to the burbs and having kids it got a little easier but still I find it hard to fine true, real friends… I’m not a quiet person but you only know that once you get to know me, getting past that initial stage is difficult.

  9. Cheryl Hayes says

    I still have contact with my best friend from high school…we rarely see each other but when we do it is as if we are still giggly school girls. Her name…Dinah Anne.
    We hook up with our other friends from school and it is a hoot!
    My best friends from nursing Joanne Maree, Veronica Joy and Lynette Mary are so special…we travelled Europe together in 1985. Joanne’s son is my godson. We rarely get together but man is it the best.
    My treasured friends Patricia Ann and Gayle Christine are walking with me through my misadventure with cancer. They were with me at diagnosis and remain stoic and supportive. It will be a long road as it is treatable but not curable….I love them like sisters.
    I love them all

  10. Love this.

    My middle name is Margaret OH MY GOD I AM A MAGGIE TOO!!!!!

  11. Middle name: Elizabeth. BabyMac friend since you woo-ed me with that Charlie Brown shift dress way back in 2011. x

  12. I just celebrated a milestone birthday and I had a little party to celebrate! Aside from family 3 of my friends bothered to show up, yes just 3! It really hurt me and basically it made me feel like I have no friends (hello primary school drama!) some had reasons some did not and some basically gave no reason or just didn’t show. I didn’t know how to deal with it – did I want to confront those who I’d felt let me down? I did want to initially, but I told my self its not worth the drama and now I know where and who to give myself to in the future. People sometimes have absolutely no idea how they can make others feel. This actually made me so so sad!

    • Tania Simmons says

      That really sucks, I am sorry this happened to you. Some people just have their heads so far up their own arses they wouldn’t even know they have offended you. Move forward with your head held high and know you have 3 really good friends – which is pretty good. Happy Birthday!

    • I’m so sorry you had that happen Amanda…it’s not OK to just not give a reason surely? I would let them know how hurt you are – better for everyone to know where you all stand right?

  13. Christina Chiodo says

    3 years ago when my uncle was passing away, I decided it was time to take life by the horns and do the stuff I’d always thought about doing, so I joined a singing group! It’s kind of a cross between a choir, meditation and yoga. BUT the best thing about it has been that I have a lot of new friends, including two that I am very, very close to now. They did tell me their middle names but we were drunk and I forgot them…

  14. I’m just taking a break from baking my best friend’s {from University} wedding cake. We were on the phone to each other last night talking about friendships from Uni days and how some how just disappeared. I said that one of our friends sent us a really out of the blue message saying ‘How clever is my wife!!!!!!! Isn’t she the best!!!’ – not once, like it could have been sent accidentally to the wrong person, but three times throughout the day. In the end I replied ‘I don’t know, I’ve never actually met her’. My best friend and I spoke about how randomness might have been cool in uni – but now it was just a little weird.

  15. Middle name Lynne! I love this post! I love my friends all such awesome and amazing people. I have been able to meet so many new friends as my girls started school this year and big school next year. It is nice to expand my world!

  16. I met my best friend in 1992 & we’ve loved each other ever since. She is like my family. As is my other closest friend who I lived & worked with when I was 18. They’ll be with me for life. But since I had the second lot of babies I’ve been trying to make friends with other mums who have little people like me because all my good mates have school age kids ( like me). So what I done was put an ad for myself & my kids on our local community Facebook page about a year ago. I had a HUGE response so started a FB page for us all. I met up with groups of them for a few months but none of them stuck. I let it dwindle away & then the other week when I was feeling really low I asked if anyone wanted to meet up. About 8 woman said yes so we arranged something for the following week. It was a complete flop. Two turned up & carried on about how the park wasn’t appropriate & they left. Nobody else turned up & I stayed there & played with my kids & had a tiny little cry behind my sunnies because WHY IS IT SO HARD???? I then put the call out on Instagram for local mums to come meet-up because I just didn’t want to be defeated & feel like a complete fucking loser. I’m meeting up with two of them next week ( if they turn up) & today I met up with two local mums who messaged me after last weeks debacle, in a park & it was great.
    As much as I love my friends dearly I will never want to stop making new friends. Even though I may sometimes feel like a complete weirdo & cry because nobody turns up or because they aren’t my kind of people I don’t ever want to get to a place where I stop putting myself out there. I have always been a people person & I hope I am that funny old lady who stops to talk to people in the street or on the bus or in the nursing home.

    • Good on you for reaching out! I hope you find some of your people to hang out with 🙂

    • That is me too! Middle name Rose btw. I’ve planned things…fun things….and not had any takers. I’m struggling right now too. One of my best friends moved away and I’m on the edge of a circle of some of her friends. We tried to get together for a once a month dinner group, with me being the first hostess. We couldn’t make the 2nd date and now it’s fizzled out, but I see them on FB going to the Coast and recently at a Halloween party….but we didn’t get invited.

      I told my Partner, “It’s TIME to make some new friends!” (I live up north in the States.)

      I had a best friend from high school but we “broke up” about 10 years ago. I miss the friendship some days, but I don’t miss the drama at all.

      I’m going to visit another old friend and his wife from HS this weekend. But, it’s a 4+ hr. drive (depending on traffic), so I can’t do it all the time.

      • That’s really tough Renee…keep at it…go to new places and hopefully there will be some friends waiting! Good luck x

      • Making grown up friends is so hard isn’t it? Some woman just get clique-ier as they get older & may as well hang a ” no new friends needed” sign on their face.
        I hope you find your crew Renee & that you don’t get defeated. I’ll tell you what my husband tells me ” it’s them, not you. YOU are great!” xx

    • Oh Reannon! I would come and meet you in a park. In a heartbeat. You are welcome to ask on my FB page and see if anyone locally wants to meet up? I am old lady talker too…have been thinking of you lately and hope you are doing OK x

      • Do you know what pisses me off Beth? I fucking hate the park but trotted along because that’s what the majority wanted & then I got stuck there all by myself!!
        And thank you. I am doing ok some days & not ok others. Mothering little people again after such a long break is taking some getting used to. And this non sleeping business is not helping my mental state. Why won’t they sleep!!! But I am positive one day I’ll feel like my old self again xx

  17. My middle name is Margaret too . Maggies rule .!!! I met my best friend while my other best friend had breast cancer .We hung together through many ups and downs .We understand each other and keep each other real hope we are together for ever ,if our husbands go first we agree to get a house in the country with cats and I hate cats but would do it for her.

  18. I don’t have a middle name, but I always wanted it to be May (like my grandma I never met), but also so my initials would be BMW.

    And I am lucky to call you my friend xx

  19. I’ve never had luck with friends. I think I didn’t put in enough effort in my teens and early twenties for those relationships to stick. Now, at 30, I really struggle. I’m not sure where I go wrong, but I don’t have any girlfriends that even call – or I could be sure would take my call if I needed them. I’m lucky that my hubby is my best friend. But sometimes the loneliness of not having girlfriends really gets me down. I have a lovely mothers group though so hopefully with time those friendships will be long lasting and closer ones!

    • Oh Miss B! I am still in contact with lots of girls from Mothers Group with Daisy so stick with it!

    • I feel your pain.
      I’m 31 on Monday and honestly I have made 1 actual, sort of friend since moving here in 2012.
      I so wish things were easier on the friend making front. I wish it was as simple as saying “you have nice hair, I like you… What’s your middle name?” Oh how I miss the primary school days and the ease of making friends.
      I have a few close friends but none live here. My man is my best friend. No idea where I go wrong either but I wear my j on my sleeve and it all gets to me. Not much point to this really other than to say, you aren’t alone. I hope you can find a solid group of friends.

  20. I make new friends all the time because I am always interviewing.

    Haven’t lost a friend since 2005 but I am prepared to Trim My Friendship Tree if Necessary.

    It’s good to role model what friendship looks like to daughters- I know mums who brag to their daughters about having no friends like it’s badge of honour.


  21. Beth….can I also say, reading your blog every morning IS like checking in with a friend.

  22. A very dear friend of my parents whom they’d met right after WWII told me once that you make your friends before you are 30. The folks that come along after that are acquaintances. That seems to hold true for me – those friendships I hold very dear were made in my 20’s. Maybe it’s that common experience of new marriages, small kids, careers getting ramped up. Who knows. I have made some lovely friends since then. But they aren’t those folks that I would go to in a crunch.

  23. Never want to stop making friends.
    Guide song: Make new friends, but keep the old/ one is silver and the other’s gold/ a circle’s round, it has no end,/ that’s how long i want to be your friend./ Friends like you/ are hard to find/ very special and one of a kind/ so good friend, wherever you may roam/ you’ll be welcome in my heart and home.

    I have friends from primary school through to high school still going strong, even as we’re going off to uni now and making new friends too. I also have grown a few online friendships over the past year or so, with bloggers mostly, but one FB friend I talk to lots.
    I like catching up with friends face to face, even if we’re talking on FB often.

  24. Timely post for me, I just moved after 9 years in the one place, I am only 30min drive but still I won’t see a lot of my old friends on a weekly basis like I used to. However, we will stay in touch & catch up where we can! I’m now in the process of meeting new people or wanting to at least I guess that will happen through my daughter starting school next year, new playgroup etc. but yes some people are open to new friendships others just are not interested in trying. My absolute bestie is in another state altogether her middle name is Diane (first name Vanessa) funny story about a bank saying to her oh your initials are VD how unfortunate, she was a teenager & didn’t even know what they meant by it!

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