Yesterday my friend Eden sent me a text video about a bakery incident she had, she had asked for a vanilla slice and was given a mere MATCHSTICK instead. She knew I would feel her pain. And I did. I sent her an answer back.
You see I was given a Cabbage Patch Doll back in the day (probably around 1986 or 87) THRILLED with the prospect of that box, that smell, that signature on the bottom only to open it up and read the birth certificate that said HIS name was Ian. Ian Joshua.
Eden seems to think this is the actual funniest thing ever. Mocking my 9 year old disappointment. Ian is still kicking around, that’s him up there in our toy area where he still gets played with on occasions. Not all that bad hey mate? To be played with almost 30 years later. Whilst he may have been an initial disappointment, I learned to love him, and I’m happy he’s still kicking around.
At the moment I am VERY disappointed with this god awful tooth ache I have going on (seeing the dentist in a few hours thank GOD), and the fact that I am pretty much unable to eat anything at the moment. That makes me a bit sad! Disappointment is a funny thing – when our expectations are not met for whatever reason, you can’t help but feel let down. One thing I’ve realised these past 6 months is that expectations are especially not welcome when you are a parent. No expectations…no disappointment right?
What’s disappointing you at the mo?
What was your Cabbage Patch Doll called?
Can you believe that this time next month it will be CHRISTMAS EVE?!
Our ensuite rénovation is disappointing me at the moment. Use CLEAR silicone people, CLEAR!!
My cabbage patch was Felicite Gertrude
This year is flying!!!!
Hope the tooth is on the mend.
A x
PS. I have no idea why renovation got fancy when I typed it. Our reno is most certainly not!
Using iPad? You held finger a bit too long or hard on the “e.” Variations with accents then took over. They are handy, especially when I have botched the code to do accenrs. But you need to be careful.
FANCY!
Thanks Amanda it is. THANK GOD! x
Imagine your disappointment if your Cabbage Patch was named Barry! He had mission brown short wool hair as well…..*sigh*
Oh Kylie…so sorry x
OMG, truly LOL, Love Eden’s sensitivity to your disappointment – tehehe 🙂
It was around the same time as your Beth, Easter 1986 on a visit to my grandparents my little sister aged nearly 3 was given a doll. I was LIVID, I was 8 years old and had also been coveting a Cabbage Patch Doll. My baby sister I screamed “what does she know about dolls, she’s too young to have a doll, I WANTED the doll!!!!” What an outrage that my little sister was getting a doll and I was yet to be given my own DOLL.
My outrage eventually won over and I was given the Doll whom I named Elizabeth. I proudly walked the streets of my little country town with Lizzie in my arms (although mildly disappointed she was not a Cabbage Patch)
Great story!
I can’t remember what mine was called something like Francesco and of course I hated it. At the time I renamed him Daryl. These days I’m not sure what is worse.
Daryl!
I had that same cabbage patch with the blonde curly hair and it was named Vanessa something. Clearly made a big impression!
They were the best!
I never had a Cabbage Patch doll … supremely disappointed. Or Barbie … but you know that story.
Me too Nikki!! I feel your pain! I am now revisiting my childhood with my youngest son and his huge selection of barbies. I get to play hairdresser….sigh 🙂
That I do my friend, that I do x
Oh, disappointment is a cruel mistress! My cabbage patch doll was called Primrose Tabitha. I still remember sending off the name-change paperwork. Oh how I loved that doll!
I never knew you could even do that!
Pretty sure mine is Xavier – quite the modern name for the 80s!
And I think the inventor/maker of the doll was Xavier too I think.
Disappointment due to baked goods sparks genuine rage in me. How DARE you smash my hopes and dreams, bakery?!
I can’t recall what my Cabbage Patch doll was named – I’m sure it was something terrible. I loved her though!
Don’t mess with the baked goods!
I had the exact same one! But mine was a home made one by my aunt! … And a girl apparently…
You could buy the head and the patterns for the bodies and she thiftily made mine – you could even order a birth certificate for your ‘home made’ cabbage patch doll! (Just as an FYI … My cousins got real CPK dolls from their parents … Not that I’m hanging on to that or anything… )
Regardless of my disappointment then, I lovingly played with her and the real CPK dolls of my cousins and they all got along famously.
Mine is called Mary Lou and she is still played with by my kids. In fact she is stored just like yours!
Good to know Mary Lou has still got it!
I didn’t have a cabbage patch either but I did request a barbie doll from my aunt when I was 6. She got me one – a Gene Simmons from the rock band KISS barbie doll. He was wearing full leathers with chains and the painted face. I think I cried for a week…. but learnt to love him too!
This is the funniest present ever from an aunt to a 6yo! Gotta love the good old aunt!
Well that’s the BEST Lisa!
My Cabbage Patch Kid was called Raymond!! He was bald!! I too came to love him but yes I had to hide my initial disappointment. My disappointment over poor little bald Raymond was not half as deep as the disappointment I had over the fake Cabbage Patch Kid I received a year or so earlier. They were called Flower Kids.
It seems you were not alone with your flower kid Bec…plenty others with the same disappointment!
My Cabbage Patch gal was called Jacqueline, sounded exotic and a bit posh, she however was not.
Especially with a Q in there…very fancy!
I have the exact same one but mine was a girl called Adriana Emma. My mum just gave her back to me complete with the original birth certificate. She does have a ‘kankle’ now after her cotton thread broke on one foot!
Don’t we all Gerogie? (Have kankles these days?!)
I renamed my Cabbage Patch doll. I called her Twisted Sister!!! Bahahaha!!! I can’t even remember what her real name was. Who cares when you have a Cabbage Patch Doll called Twisted Sister!!!
That is hilarious!
Well imagine my disappointment when I unwrapped my “cabbage patch doll” to find my mother had made one. SERIOUSLY, she hand made this beautiful doll without a pattern, and I was disappointed? What was wrong with my 6yo self. I feel totally ashamed now that I didn’t appreciate the actual time and effort that she put into creating this doll.
As any other 6yo, I just wanted the same as my friends, if only I knew then how boring same is, ha!
I just want to say thank you Mum. I know we were poor as , and you tried to make my birthday dream. I love you Mum.
Oh Rachel I’m sure she wouldn’t have minded. So many times I look back ashamed at the way I behaved…x
My cabbage patch kid was Marcia Danielle and my sisters was Anselma Louise. We got to pick which one we wanted, unfortunately couldn’t see the birth certificate so was operating on looks alone, can still remember the disappointment of having such an ordinary name.
ANSELMA? Who even knew that was a name?!
I didn’t get a Cabbage Patch Doll as they were soooo expensive and I’ve never let my Mum forget it .. how EVERYONE else had one …… I’ve actually been trying to find them online for my girls just because I missed out.
They were expensive…especially in the 80’s they were $50!
Didn’t they come with a thing where you could change their name? I’m sure I just renamed mine either way!
Either did I! Would have done it for sure.
My cabbage patch is Zara I can’t remember her middle name….now I have a real life kid called Zara she is 6 and plays with Zara too!!
That’s the best Zoe. Unfortunately I never got a son…that said, I suspect he would not have been named Ian!
I remember being in late highschool being a peer group counsellor for a group of year 7’s. Our first group time I asked the girls to tell us a bit about themselves. One little girl told us excitedly about the cabbage patch kid she had received for Christmas…….called Fanny Sue…..the other girls absolutely howled laughing while I had to somehow try & settle them down.
Ha!
Cammy Lynne – she looked like a librarian from Nashville. I got her in 1987 – a full year after was bullied remorselessly for having a fake CPK 🙁
Oh Darcy!
My daughters who are now 38 years and 35 years old both had cabbage patch dolls. One was a boy called Byron Bruno and the other was a girl Etheldreda Una!!! I will NEVER forgot those names!
How could you forget those names Maureen? Classic!
I guess I was spoilt as I ended up with two. First one a girl called Rachel, can’t remember the middle name And second one was called Malcolm. I adored them both. My kids still have them!
Good value for money for your parents!
I grew up in a small country town where you couldn’t buy a CPD. I saved my money and gave it to my mums friend for her to buy me one on her visit to the city. I went to bed that night full of excitement as I knew, while asleep, my very own ‘baby’ straight from the cabbage patch would be placed on the end of my bed. I woke in the middle of the night and could see the outline of the box, I was so excited and I couldn’t wait to morning so I turned on the light and……it was a boy! My excitement turned to unexpected disappointment….I wanted a girl like my friends, they all had girls. Anyhow, his name was Aaron Dale, he wore a cute navy blue ensemble and it wasn’t long before I fell in love.
That’s such a great story!
I never had a Cabbage Patch doll, so disappointing ! However – funny story: my best friend was a Cabbage Patcher from way back and was so excited to buy one for my daughter when she was 3. Her name was “Elaine” which also happened to be the name of my estranged husband’s “secret” (I knew she existed – but he didn’t know this and she never met our daughter) girlfriend. Imagine the look of shock on his (and his mothers face – that was priceless !) when my daughter proudly announced her name. Classic !
PS My friend was not aware of the “secret” girlfriends name – the choice was completely coincidental
Hilarious!
Oh that is a good story!
I had two cabbage patch dolls. The first was Tracey Loretta and the other was a premie named Brian Spencer. I loved them and have saved them for when I had kids only I had two boys who are not in the slightest interested in my cabbage patch babies ?
These names are all so hilarious!
Oh JESUS. Christmas Eve?! Shit, son. Pretty sure I just blasphemed a bit badly. But not really because Christmas was Jesus’ birthday.
I just LOVE Eden’s reaction. Her laughter is infectious and made me smile too. Ian. Bahaha.
I am disappointed because I’m not pregnant (yet again), but in saying that, I am getting so much better at handling it. I wish I didn’t have to, but I am glad I didn’t make myself mental. It will happen when it’s meant to. Check in with me in a few months and see if I’m still as zen, but for now I’m glad I’m doing better. I even hung out with a pregnant friend the other night and we had a blast and it never got to me. I am so proud, actually xo
You just can’t help but smile when you watch that laugh can you?
Oh Beth I hear you with the Cabbage Patch doll, my first one was called Adele, sadly she was accidentally left on the boot of the car one day, ⎌never to be seen again! I was devasted, after driving around the entire neighbourhood, we gave up the search, and I had to accept she was gone forever!
Well I kept asking for another, and eventually my parents bought me a new doll, but not an original cabbage patch doll, an inferior version which was made to look like their strange cousins maybe? Moral of that story: don’t lose expensive dolls as they won’t be replaced.
Oh Adele! Where are you?!
OMG I’ll see you a cabbage patch doll named Ian and raise you a CINDY doll. NOT Barbie. Cindy.
There is NOTHING worse than a toothache. I hope it gets better soon xx
I was given a Cindy too when I really only wanted Barbie. Still not over it ?
Thanks Kate I am feeling much better now thank goodness!
The year was 1984, all the cool kids had a Cabbage Patch Doll, I loved looking at their little birthmarks and Birth Certificates. I had to have a Cabbage Patch Doll – HAD TO! My Dad was a self employed builder and unfortunately times were tough and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to get one, I got a Flower Patch Kids, they did not have a birth mark or come with a birth certificate ? They were also in a permanent sitting position, I called her Melissa and I loved her anyway
Oh Simone! God love your parents though…I had never heard of these dolls. You were not alone though plenty others had them too it seems!
Oh the disappointment!
I had a boy Cabbage patch similar to yours called Webster Tobias! I specifically asked for a boy one and got him in 1985. My kids now play with him. It was strange at the time because there was that American TV show called Webster about a little black kid and my CP was white!
I remember that show Webster!
My younger daughter (now 32) is STILL very upset that she got a ‘fake’ CP doll when she was two years old. Her older sister had a ‘real’ one and she didn’t. i remember thinking that there was no ‘need’ to buy her a real one as she had absolutely no interest in dolls but just wanted one because her sister had one. The only ‘play’ with this fake cabbage patch )named ‘Queenie Collette’) was to drag the doll around by the hair and throw her in the air. Needless to say, the head fell off. We ‘fixed’ it with gaffer tape – my daughter only last week said , yet again, how cheated she felt – not because of the fakeness of the CP doll but because the doll’s neck had gaffer tape wound around it! Woops.
My brother threw a trampoline Spring at me, but the fake CPK copped it square on the head and it came flying off. Tantrums galore that afternoon. She was never quite the same again.
Oh Janey…classic!
Ha!
Yes mine was another of the bald ones…..and I do remember the disappointment. I had wanted one just like my cousin had been given – a girl with a tuft of hair I think. But I did of course come to love Ivan. Ivan Frederick. I did, of course, change his name (and gender apparently) to several different popular names of the time…Tiffany, Jessica and the like.
IVAN FREDERICK. The best!
Mine was called Rosyln Anne and she had bright red hair. I cried! I had her name officially changed to Chelsea Kim cause that was SO much better!
It was better – much more exotic!
I had TWIN cabbage Patch dolls when I was about 5 (1986)….. ROCHELLE and FELIX!!!!
My daughter received one for her third birthday last year called….SAILOR COCO…how things have changed!
Thanks for the giggles!
There were twins?! Well that would have been a dream come true!
And this is why we bloody love Eden!!!
My daughter got a Cabbage Patch and its name is Selina….every time my daughter talks about Selina it takes me back to my college days where, being an asshole, I used to say “Thee you later Thelina” to a girl Selina in my class! If only I could see Selina now, I would well and truly say thorry for being an athhole all those years ago!
Oh Eva that is very funny.
Jock Bruno !
Very macho for a Cabbage Patch doll. I like it.
Mine was Kirk Derek. I was disappointed with the name but he was a cute baldy version. I don’t remember having the option to change the name.
Me either! Needless to say Ian wouldn’t have stayed Ian.
You know how people say, “All babies are cute.” Er, right. I had a co-worker who had a baby and he came out looking exactly like a Cabbage Patch doll. I was in my 20’s and thought, “That is the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.” 🙂
Oh no!
I got my first one when I was about 2 and it was a bald little street kid named Jock – my daughter has renamed him Jogger. Then when I was about 4 I got an astronaut cabbage patch and her name was Kirsty – very progressive having a lady astronaut! These guys are still kicking in the playroom now and my daughter loves them!
A couple of others had astronauts too – I didn’t know you could get them!
My Cabbage Patch was and still is called Cassandra – she is at the bottom of my wardrobe in her red gingham dress and red tights. Unfortunately my 3 boys weren’t that into her, ha ha ha. Hope you got that tooth sorted out. Ouch.
You bring her out and give her some air!
#IAN
For the rest of my life, the word “Ian” will make me laugh and I cannot thank you enough. I am, however, sorry about my lack of sensitivity to your doll fiasco. I never owned a Cabbage Patch Kid, still very sad about this fact. Thank gord for vanilla slice.
I love you Beth. Xxxx
You can borrow Ian anytime you would like x
I had 3! I guess I was lucky! I only remember the boys name was Oliver! He was also bald and had a dummy!
My girls now play with them and my my child doll
3!
Oh that smell! I had forgotten about that smell! Mine was called Alicia Mildred and my brother got a huge case of Fomo and cracked it so mum had to get him one too. His was called cliff Dean. Xx
Such great names!
Oh that is funny!
Mine was called Eileen Maureen. More Nana than Baby I thought. And she had a matchy matchy 80s tracksuit on.
Loved those tracksuits I remember them well x
I am still laughing thanks to Eden’s laughter video ???…
Isn’t it lucky you finally got the girl/s with beautiful names you wanted all along!
My cabbage patch doll was my most coveted possession. Our parents wouldn’t let us have one, and we suffered disappointment for what felt like years (but was probably months or maybe even weeks) before a very generous family friend bought one each for my sister and I for Christmas!! That still rates as one of THE BEST DAYS EVER!! Their names were Ellen Leanora and Brenda Clementine. They are living with my Mum & Dad now, in a box along with their extensive wardrobe of clothes lovingly handmade by my Nanna. ?
Eden’s laugh in that video is the best!
Hampton Dustan. He was promptly rechristened Timothy James. My son loves him – his bald, adopted, 30 year old brother.
Amazing name!