On disappointment


Yesterday my friend Eden sent me a text video about a bakery incident she had, she had asked for a vanilla slice and was given a mere MATCHSTICK instead. She knew I would feel her pain. And I did. I sent her an answer back.

You see I was given a Cabbage Patch Doll back in the day (probably around 1986 or 87) THRILLED with the prospect of that box, that smell, that signature on the bottom only to open it up and read the birth certificate that said HIS name was Ian. Ian Joshua.

Eden seems to think this is the actual funniest thing ever. Mocking my 9 year old disappointment. Ian is still kicking around, that’s him up there in our toy area where he still gets played with on occasions. Not all that bad hey mate? To be played with almost 30 years later. Whilst he may have been an initial disappointment, I learned to love him, and I’m happy he’s still kicking around.

At the moment I am VERY disappointed with this god awful tooth ache I have going on (seeing the dentist in a few hours thank GOD), and the fact that I am pretty much unable to eat anything at the moment. That makes me a bit sad! Disappointment is a funny thing – when our expectations are not met for whatever reason, you can’t help but feel let down. One thing I’ve realised these past 6 months is that expectations are especially not welcome when you are a parent. No expectations…no disappointment right?

What’s disappointing you at the mo?
What was your Cabbage Patch Doll called?
Can you believe that this time next month it will be CHRISTMAS EVE?!


  1. Our ensuite rénovation is disappointing me at the moment. Use CLEAR silicone people, CLEAR!!
    My cabbage patch was Felicite Gertrude
    This year is flying!!!!

    Hope the tooth is on the mend.
    A x

  2. Imagine your disappointment if your Cabbage Patch was named Barry! He had mission brown short wool hair as well…..*sigh*

  3. OMG, truly LOL, Love Eden’s sensitivity to your disappointment – tehehe 🙂
    It was around the same time as your Beth, Easter 1986 on a visit to my grandparents my little sister aged nearly 3 was given a doll. I was LIVID, I was 8 years old and had also been coveting a Cabbage Patch Doll. My baby sister I screamed “what does she know about dolls, she’s too young to have a doll, I WANTED the doll!!!!” What an outrage that my little sister was getting a doll and I was yet to be given my own DOLL.
    My outrage eventually won over and I was given the Doll whom I named Elizabeth. I proudly walked the streets of my little country town with Lizzie in my arms (although mildly disappointed she was not a Cabbage Patch)

  4. I can’t remember what mine was called something like Francesco and of course I hated it. At the time I renamed him Daryl. These days I’m not sure what is worse.

  5. I had that same cabbage patch with the blonde curly hair and it was named Vanessa something. Clearly made a big impression!

  6. I never had a Cabbage Patch doll … supremely disappointed. Or Barbie … but you know that story.

  7. Oh, disappointment is a cruel mistress! My cabbage patch doll was called Primrose Tabitha. I still remember sending off the name-change paperwork. Oh how I loved that doll!

  8. Pretty sure mine is Xavier – quite the modern name for the 80s!

  9. Disappointment due to baked goods sparks genuine rage in me. How DARE you smash my hopes and dreams, bakery?!

    I can’t recall what my Cabbage Patch doll was named – I’m sure it was something terrible. I loved her though!

  10. I had the exact same one! But mine was a home made one by my aunt! … And a girl apparently…
    You could buy the head and the patterns for the bodies and she thiftily made mine – you could even order a birth certificate for your ‘home made’ cabbage patch doll! (Just as an FYI … My cousins got real CPK dolls from their parents … Not that I’m hanging on to that or anything… )
    Regardless of my disappointment then, I lovingly played with her and the real CPK dolls of my cousins and they all got along famously.
    Mine is called Mary Lou and she is still played with by my kids. In fact she is stored just like yours!

  11. I didn’t have a cabbage patch either but I did request a barbie doll from my aunt when I was 6. She got me one – a Gene Simmons from the rock band KISS barbie doll. He was wearing full leathers with chains and the painted face. I think I cried for a week…. but learnt to love him too!

  12. My Cabbage Patch Kid was called Raymond!! He was bald!! I too came to love him but yes I had to hide my initial disappointment. My disappointment over poor little bald Raymond was not half as deep as the disappointment I had over the fake Cabbage Patch Kid I received a year or so earlier. They were called Flower Kids.

  13. My Cabbage Patch gal was called Jacqueline, sounded exotic and a bit posh, she however was not.

  14. I have the exact same one but mine was a girl called Adriana Emma. My mum just gave her back to me complete with the original birth certificate. She does have a ‘kankle’ now after her cotton thread broke on one foot!

  15. I renamed my Cabbage Patch doll. I called her Twisted Sister!!! Bahahaha!!! I can’t even remember what her real name was. Who cares when you have a Cabbage Patch Doll called Twisted Sister!!!

  16. Well imagine my disappointment when I unwrapped my “cabbage patch doll” to find my mother had made one. SERIOUSLY, she hand made this beautiful doll without a pattern, and I was disappointed? What was wrong with my 6yo self. I feel totally ashamed now that I didn’t appreciate the actual time and effort that she put into creating this doll.
    As any other 6yo, I just wanted the same as my friends, if only I knew then how boring same is, ha!
    I just want to say thank you Mum. I know we were poor as , and you tried to make my birthday dream. I love you Mum.

  17. My cabbage patch kid was Marcia Danielle and my sisters was Anselma Louise. We got to pick which one we wanted, unfortunately couldn’t see the birth certificate so was operating on looks alone, can still remember the disappointment of having such an ordinary name.

  18. I didn’t get a Cabbage Patch Doll as they were soooo expensive and I’ve never let my Mum forget it .. how EVERYONE else had one …… I’ve actually been trying to find them online for my girls just because I missed out.

  19. Didn’t they come with a thing where you could change their name? I’m sure I just renamed mine either way!

  20. My cabbage patch is Zara I can’t remember her middle name….now I have a real life kid called Zara she is 6 and plays with Zara too!!

  21. I remember being in late highschool being a peer group counsellor for a group of year 7’s. Our first group time I asked the girls to tell us a bit about themselves. One little girl told us excitedly about the cabbage patch kid she had received for Christmas…….called Fanny Sue…..the other girls absolutely howled laughing while I had to somehow try & settle them down.

  22. Cammy Lynne – she looked like a librarian from Nashville. I got her in 1987 – a full year after was bullied remorselessly for having a fake CPK 🙁

  23. My daughters who are now 38 years and 35 years old both had cabbage patch dolls. One was a boy called Byron Bruno and the other was a girl Etheldreda Una!!! I will NEVER forgot those names!

  24. I guess I was spoilt as I ended up with two. First one a girl called Rachel, can’t remember the middle name And second one was called Malcolm. I adored them both. My kids still have them!

  25. I grew up in a small country town where you couldn’t buy a CPD. I saved my money and gave it to my mums friend for her to buy me one on her visit to the city. I went to bed that night full of excitement as I knew, while asleep, my very own ‘baby’ straight from the cabbage patch would be placed on the end of my bed. I woke in the middle of the night and could see the outline of the box, I was so excited and I couldn’t wait to morning so I turned on the light and……it was a boy! My excitement turned to unexpected disappointment….I wanted a girl like my friends, they all had girls. Anyhow, his name was Aaron Dale, he wore a cute navy blue ensemble and it wasn’t long before I fell in love.

  26. I never had a Cabbage Patch doll, so disappointing ! However – funny story: my best friend was a Cabbage Patcher from way back and was so excited to buy one for my daughter when she was 3. Her name was “Elaine” which also happened to be the name of my estranged husband’s “secret” (I knew she existed – but he didn’t know this and she never met our daughter) girlfriend. Imagine the look of shock on his (and his mothers face – that was priceless !) when my daughter proudly announced her name. Classic !

  27. I had two cabbage patch dolls. The first was Tracey Loretta and the other was a premie named Brian Spencer. I loved them and have saved them for when I had kids only I had two boys who are not in the slightest interested in my cabbage patch babies ?

  28. Oh JESUS. Christmas Eve?! Shit, son. Pretty sure I just blasphemed a bit badly. But not really because Christmas was Jesus’ birthday.
    I just LOVE Eden’s reaction. Her laughter is infectious and made me smile too. Ian. Bahaha.
    I am disappointed because I’m not pregnant (yet again), but in saying that, I am getting so much better at handling it. I wish I didn’t have to, but I am glad I didn’t make myself mental. It will happen when it’s meant to. Check in with me in a few months and see if I’m still as zen, but for now I’m glad I’m doing better. I even hung out with a pregnant friend the other night and we had a blast and it never got to me. I am so proud, actually xo

  29. Lorelle Coates says

    Oh Beth I hear you with the Cabbage Patch doll, my first one was called Adele, sadly she was accidentally left on the boot of the car one day, ⎌never to be seen again! I was devasted, after driving around the entire neighbourhood, we gave up the search, and I had to accept she was gone forever!
    Well I kept asking for another, and eventually my parents bought me a new doll, but not an original cabbage patch doll, an inferior version which was made to look like their strange cousins maybe? Moral of that story: don’t lose expensive dolls as they won’t be replaced.

  30. OMG I’ll see you a cabbage patch doll named Ian and raise you a CINDY doll. NOT Barbie. Cindy.
    There is NOTHING worse than a toothache. I hope it gets better soon xx

  31. The year was 1984, all the cool kids had a Cabbage Patch Doll, I loved looking at their little birthmarks and Birth Certificates. I had to have a Cabbage Patch Doll – HAD TO! My Dad was a self employed builder and unfortunately times were tough and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to get one, I got a Flower Patch Kids, they did not have a birth mark or come with a birth certificate ? They were also in a permanent sitting position, I called her Melissa and I loved her anyway

    • Oh Simone! God love your parents though…I had never heard of these dolls. You were not alone though plenty others had them too it seems!

  32. Oh the disappointment!

    I had a boy Cabbage patch similar to yours called Webster Tobias! I specifically asked for a boy one and got him in 1985. My kids now play with him. It was strange at the time because there was that American TV show called Webster about a little black kid and my CP was white!

  33. My younger daughter (now 32) is STILL very upset that she got a ‘fake’ CP doll when she was two years old. Her older sister had a ‘real’ one and she didn’t. i remember thinking that there was no ‘need’ to buy her a real one as she had absolutely no interest in dolls but just wanted one because her sister had one. The only ‘play’ with this fake cabbage patch )named ‘Queenie Collette’) was to drag the doll around by the hair and throw her in the air. Needless to say, the head fell off. We ‘fixed’ it with gaffer tape – my daughter only last week said , yet again, how cheated she felt – not because of the fakeness of the CP doll but because the doll’s neck had gaffer tape wound around it! Woops.

  34. Yes mine was another of the bald ones…..and I do remember the disappointment. I had wanted one just like my cousin had been given – a girl with a tuft of hair I think. But I did of course come to love Ivan. Ivan Frederick. I did, of course, change his name (and gender apparently) to several different popular names of the time…Tiffany, Jessica and the like.

  35. Mine was called Rosyln Anne and she had bright red hair. I cried! I had her name officially changed to Chelsea Kim cause that was SO much better!

  36. I had TWIN cabbage Patch dolls when I was about 5 (1986)….. ROCHELLE and FELIX!!!!
    My daughter received one for her third birthday last year called….SAILOR COCO…how things have changed!
    Thanks for the giggles!

  37. And this is why we bloody love Eden!!!
    My daughter got a Cabbage Patch and its name is Selina….every time my daughter talks about Selina it takes me back to my college days where, being an asshole, I used to say “Thee you later Thelina” to a girl Selina in my class! If only I could see Selina now, I would well and truly say thorry for being an athhole all those years ago!

  38. Jock Bruno !

  39. Mine was Kirk Derek. I was disappointed with the name but he was a cute baldy version. I don’t remember having the option to change the name.

  40. You know how people say, “All babies are cute.” Er, right. I had a co-worker who had a baby and he came out looking exactly like a Cabbage Patch doll. I was in my 20’s and thought, “That is the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.” 🙂

  41. I got my first one when I was about 2 and it was a bald little street kid named Jock – my daughter has renamed him Jogger. Then when I was about 4 I got an astronaut cabbage patch and her name was Kirsty – very progressive having a lady astronaut! These guys are still kicking in the playroom now and my daughter loves them!

  42. My Cabbage Patch was and still is called Cassandra – she is at the bottom of my wardrobe in her red gingham dress and red tights. Unfortunately my 3 boys weren’t that into her, ha ha ha. Hope you got that tooth sorted out. Ouch.

  43. #IAN

    For the rest of my life, the word “Ian” will make me laugh and I cannot thank you enough. I am, however, sorry about my lack of sensitivity to your doll fiasco. I never owned a Cabbage Patch Kid, still very sad about this fact. Thank gord for vanilla slice.

    I love you Beth. Xxxx

  44. I had 3! I guess I was lucky! I only remember the boys name was Oliver! He was also bald and had a dummy!

    My girls now play with them and my my child doll

  45. Oh that smell! I had forgotten about that smell! Mine was called Alicia Mildred and my brother got a huge case of Fomo and cracked it so mum had to get him one too. His was called cliff Dean. Xx

  46. Oh that is funny!
    Mine was called Eileen Maureen. More Nana than Baby I thought. And she had a matchy matchy 80s tracksuit on.

  47. I am still laughing thanks to Eden’s laughter video ???…
    Isn’t it lucky you finally got the girl/s with beautiful names you wanted all along!
    My cabbage patch doll was my most coveted possession. Our parents wouldn’t let us have one, and we suffered disappointment for what felt like years (but was probably months or maybe even weeks) before a very generous family friend bought one each for my sister and I for Christmas!! That still rates as one of THE BEST DAYS EVER!! Their names were Ellen Leanora and Brenda Clementine. They are living with my Mum & Dad now, in a box along with their extensive wardrobe of clothes lovingly handmade by my Nanna. ?

  48. Hampton Dustan. He was promptly rechristened Timothy James. My son loves him – his bald, adopted, 30 year old brother.


  1. […] my goodness this week was a not a good one for me and teeth. You will remember that a while ago I was terrified of going to the dentist but it had been 10 years for a check up, […]

Speak Your Mind