Miscellaneous 60

How do you guys like my new view? You see, there was an INCIDENT yesterday. One which will confine me to the inside of my home for the foreseeable future. It’s either that, or we set fire to the backyard, or we move. See? My options are limited.

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Yesterday afternoon I got home from school as I normally do, I had a huge bunch of spinach for Rosie the guinea pig and the chooks so I opened the back door, stepped down from the verandah to the grass and immediately shat myself for I was approx 30cm away from a bloody brown snake staring right at me. A SNAKE. Look, I know I live in the country, and I know that I am bigger than they are, and I know that they are more scared of me than I of it…however: SNAKE. I immediately ran inside squealing like a pig and called Rob who was in the car on his way home from Sydney. Cause, you know, that was going to help. I then called my best mate Mrs Munro because she would know what to do being the good country girl that she is! She pretty much squealed too then called her knight in shining Hard Yakka attire to come and save the day…Mr Munro. He asked me to get a long nosed shovel, of which I thought I did (it wasn’t) but he was lucky to get anything due to the fact that I HAD TO GO OUTSIDE  AND THERE WAS A SNAKE OUTSIDE. We were both very brave (he only slightly more than me due to a snake phobia himself) and the snake, well he escaped. My clematis that was growing up the drain pipe where he was hiding did NOT survive though. Maybe Mrs M can make a basket out of it?!

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Of course I have been very calm about the entire thing and really comfortable going outside. Read also: I AM NEVER GOING OUTSIDE AGAIN SO HELP ME SWEET MOTHER MARY.

OK, I know your pulses will be running. Here, look at some soothing roses that my friend Fiona dropped around to me last Friday. You should smell them! Heaven help us all! I am turning into an old lady before my eyes with my love of roses growing daily. I’m planning a new rose garden perhaps where #snakegate occurred.

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Still racing? Me too. It’s OK. Here’s a soothing sleeping puppy with well plumped cushions in the background. That will be just the ticket.

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Frank is looking a little like an overgrown ewok so I have booked him in to visit a dog groomer next week. We’re both quite excited by the appointment. Full details to follow of course!

Let’s watch this together. It’s great. I wonder why we can’t have more choreographed dance routines in day to day life? Wouldn’t it make things more interesting?

Now this may get hearts racing again, but I feel it’s my DUTY to share the information with you. There is 24 hours of FREE SHIPPING TO AUSTRALIA FROM ANTHROPOLOGIE RIGHT NOW. Look! It’s worth a look and a start on some Christmas shopping don’t you think? Me too. Pearl clutch worthy!

Here, just to calm the nerves again, look at my hot new table runner with the gorgeous bowl Nikki gave to me last time she came and visited. A match made in heaven!

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Speaking of Nikki, any locals down here or anyone willing to take a drive down this way Nikki is having a book launch in Bowral next week on Friday 28th November 6pm at The Bookshop Bowral. We would love to see as many of you guys there as possible…I’ll be there too so come along! All the details can be found here.

Anyone in Melbs and keen on gardens? The National Trust Garden Festival is on at Ripponlea with all kinds of events going on at the moment and they have a Garden Party happening this coming Sunday with a reader discount for you guys! Just enter the code BABYMAC when you order your tickets online here.

Just to get that pulse rate back up, here’s a snap of Rob on the weekend just before we headed off to a 1970’s soiree on Saturday evening in Sydney. It was such a fun night – the 10th wedding anniversary for some old friends of ours who put on a party for us all to celebrate with them. The groom even got  to re-do his speech that he was too emotional to say 10 years ago. It’s amazing to see what we have all done in the past 10 years…all those children!

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Anyone got some tips on how to get Vitamin D whilst spending my life indoors?
Got some roses growing at your place?
Been to any fun parties lately? I can’t say it was fun watching all that french champagne being consumed by everyone while I sipped on 34 soda waters.
Hope you have a GREAT Wednesday! I do!

Comments

  1. You are hilarious! Thanks for the laughs. You are a welcome distraction amidst the stress of my first in exam cram in ahem .. 18 years! Keep up the funny posts and begone slithery scary snakes from all back doors/gardens/anywhere too close for comfort!

  2. Oooooh, I hate snakes. I’m with you on staying inside…..

  3. Oh Beth – you crack me up. We have a “Snake Dog” aka Rosie the Jack Russell, I do feel I also need a 410. We get a fair few snakes up here but I always just scream at the top of my lungs (from the verandah) like a baby and about 2,073 Jackaroo’s come running with a gun. No – did I just say that out loud – of course we don’t shoot them. Never. My kids are normally the one’s who spot the baby snakes…god help me.

    Now – how on earth did you manage to keep your hands off Rob in that sexy suit???? Talk about one great hunk of spunk, ha ha ha.

    As for the 34 soda waters – oh god I feel your pain. Well hope to never feel it ever again but I remember how thrilling it was.

    I am having a very productive #maintenancewednesday (little late I know).

    • Better late than never love!

    • Miss Chardy: I had a Jack Russell called Rosie who killed many snakes. Also had a 410 and a shovel – whatever was close to hand. . Apparently, the law is – yes, you can kill them – as long as they are in your yard and you feel threatened. Beth, if you are absolutely sure it was a brown – please don’t try and kill it with a shovel – they need a 410.

      • We are on a farm and I am seconding the 410 option. Or if you use a shovel use one with a very very long handle!

        We have got the solar snake guards too and in the two summers they have been around the house yard have only had one snake (actually when a snake guard was broken and not working) versus the 3-4 we usually get a summer.

      • You too make me laugh. A 410!

  4. Oh gawd I feel for you!

    The first snake I encountered after we moved here I dealt with by calling my husband who was 200kms and then vomiting on it…

    The second one was sitting on my front door step… on the actual step!!!!!

    And just recently my kids found one at our front gate.. thankfully they did exactly as we’d drilled them to do and they ran inside to tell someone… unfortunately that someone was me and all I can do is vomit on the things!

  5. Thank goodness for those calming images … my heart it is a racing. I will be inside with you next weekend! Thanks for the mention re the Bowral Unlock Your Style event … cannot wait to meet everyone.

  6. Claire Piltz says

    Hi Beth. We had a few snake sightings around our property in the Yarra Valley a few years back. Having a dog and small kids I also freaked out (we are only part-time country dwellers, living in the city during the week and not at all used to snakes in the back-yard). Anyway, my husband purchased these solar powered snake repellers that you put around your yard. They send vibrations every now and then through the ground and apparently the sakes don’t like the vibrations, so move away. If you google them you’ll find mixed feedback on their effectiveness. However, we have not seen a snake in the 3 years they have been installed so I’m calling that sucess. Might be worth looking into, especially around your back door! Good luck!

  7. I can’t even begin to imagine coming face to face with a snake, I scream rather loudly if I meet a cockroach running across the floor & have made a guy move every piece of furniture in the room into a big pile to try & find a mouse. He ended up marrying me anyway 🙂
    I love a movie where a group of seemingly random strangers breaks into a perfectly choreographed dance routine. I’m sure the grocery shopping would be much more fun if a spontaneous dance routine popped up in the dairy aisle 🙂

  8. There’s something that schools use to deter snakes – I think it’s a spray or something. Snakes freak me out but apparently are found everywhere according to a snake catcher I spoke to. Make sure your property is rodent free too – snakes love to snack on them.

  9. you need peacocks! they chase away snakes. are there many snakes in robertson area? i thought it might be too cold for them. (wishful thinking!)

  10. Holy moly if that YouTube clip doesn’t make you feel like dancing NOTHING will!!
    Our cat once brought us a baby brown snake as a gift. We made him become an inside cat soon after. Not cool.

  11. We had 20 snakes in the HOUSE last summer. Thank you cat. Thankfully all green ones. I can get them out on my own now! But if you have a brown one – get yourself some snake repellents STAT. They are pulsing things that look like solar power lights – just deters the snakes and you can get yourself a nice safe perimeter around the house/garden. They get pretty good reviews in areas where snakes can easily go around the perimeter you’ve got set up – obviously if there is only one way through then they’re not as effective.

  12. Lisa mckenzie says

    We had a snake last year my next door neighbour told me I shat myself too and would not even go to the letter box! watch your Frank keep him inside with you.The bowl and the roses and the runner are gorgeous I can imagine the perfume.I do love Rob in a safari suit,did you wear a kaftan Beth ? Have a lovely day too x

  13. Hilarious! I can not believe you cut your clematis down. I would be willing to bet alot of money that although the snake is brown in colour it would be a copperhead, very shy and most likely to have lived there forever. We get a few of them here and we relocated on that was living under the kids sand pit but the others are considerate enough to move on and head the opposite direction when they see us coming. They do give your heart a good run though. On your facebook I put a link to a man in the highlands who will come and catch them for you, I have his number in my phone just in case. Buy a new clamatis right now.

  14. Hi Beth, do you have a garden hose near the front door? A gentle spray toward the snake may be enough to move it on its way. To feel extra brave just pop on your gum boots. Also consider if your pets food could be attracting mice- could you use a suspended feeder? And ensure there isn’t excess feed lying around after they have eaten. Do you have an open compost that may attract mice? A mice population would encourage a snake to hang around rather than just pass through. Good luck!

  15. Yeah, I’d be moving. I don’t care how beautiful your house is, how lovely your garden is how awesome your neighbours are I could not live knowing there was a snake on the lose. But this coming from the woman who once asked her husband to sell the house because we had mice….

    And I know it’s been asked before & I’m sure you answered but…where is that table runner from please? I think Santa should bring me one 🙂

  16. Kylie Myers says

    I too am a city gal now gone country gal but I don’t do snakes. Last year I had a major panic attack as I was about to set foot on a rather ugly looking snake sunbaking on my back step. Screamed, grabbed my toddler and quickly went in the house (and locked the door from that nasty snake). Called manly neighbour as my husband was at work. Said neighbour came shoeless (I mean really?) And with a shovel. Imagine my surprise (qnd how loud my scream was) when he walked over to it, picked it up and threw it at me. My husband is oh so juvenile for planting a fake snake for me.

  17. Shoot the fuckers, brown snakes aren’t scared of you, they’ll go you (or your kids or your dog). Massive massive downside of being in the country.

  18. oh no beth! awful … I’m glad you didn’t post a photo … I wouldn’t come back hun!
    I’m a basket case when I see a photo of one! … thanks for the roses!
    I guess we live in aus and we know they are here but!!! hate them!
    live in an a country area too, where they come for water around pot plants etc and river murray! … I’m always aware going into the shed and stepping into my garden!
    used to live in the Adelaide hills and every year would see at least one … we had the catcher come in once and he said they move through and don’t really stay in one home … who knows!
    not supposed to kill them either!!! … yeh right!!! … a hefty fine! they are breeding too much I say! … two hubbies got one one day! … they can move at lightening speed though!
    so glad your children are ok and puppy! lots of love m:)X

  19. Omg, I’m with you, so totally indoors until that wriggly guy is moved on. I hate snakes, totally irrational phobia but can’t even watch them on the Tele…got given a gift of a bag in mock Python, could not even bear to look at it, held on to it for as long as is polite in the unwanted gift pile, and then sold on Ebay… Hope all is ok. Thanks for the distractions of 70s Safari suits and
    tableware!

  20. OH I tried to shop at Anthropologie but the free shipping wasn’t on offer, must have been 24 hours on their clock and not ours 🙁 Next time.

  21. I feel your pain.. I’ve seen four so far this season – the first three looked harmless but the most recent one was a brown and it was enormous. I haven’t recovered. I do not set foot out of the back door without having a good look around and as I’m hanging out the washing I keep checking around me.

    Please don’t try anything with the shovel – that’s how people get bitten.

  22. And very sorry to say this about Rosie the guinea pig, but she would be a major drawcard. The chooks (and their food) would be too!

  23. Bloody hell! You guys are really freaked out by snakes aren’t you?
    Beth if this is the first snake you’ve seen there, chances are you won’t see another for a long time. It’s also good to get a proper id as many species aren’t actually harmful to humans. Whip snakes look like small brown snakes, but they aren’t harmful and their main prey are cockroaches!!
    Got to say that if it was an Eastern Brown trying to kill it is the riskiest thing you can do, especially with a shovel! Of all the people who get bitten by browns most have either accidentally stood on it or we’re trying to kill it.
    Signed – an old hippie from up the North Coast xx

  24. Where did the bowl come from pretty please??? Just smashed a similar one 🙁

  25. Yes, I do have a fun event planned for this weekend and it involves safari suits – lots of em. Rob would fit right in. Check out our: http://www.safarisuit.com/. I add safari suit guests to the site if he wants to send in a photo and a bit of a story!

  26. Eeek! SNAKES!! We lost our Maremma to a snake years ago, and I think it bit our German Shorthaired Pointer too because she was sick afterwards but survived. Clearly the first dog copped the brunt of the attack. My husband pulled the garden apart later that night after returning home from the vet with a deceased dog, and when he found that brown snake, well, let’s just say it didn’t live to see the next day.

    We’ve just moved onto 1.25 acres, with perfect snake country around us. Dams. Gullies. Hidey snakey places. I will have to wear gum boots AT ALL TIMES while outside during summer, maybe with binoculars in hand.

  27. Snakes scare me too. Along with spiders. Hilariously, even though I go outside a lot, I am actually looking into Vitamin D supplements. No joke, my energy literally dips when the sun goes behind the clouds. I am over that shit!
    Oh, and a 70s party for an anniversary? So cool.

  28. Mum and Dad have a big brown snake living in their back yard down in the southern highlands. It hibernates during Winter, so that’s the only season I will EVER come home to visit. If I’m there during Summer, I will never ever go outside. Dad saw it once under some pavers and nearly had a stroke as it was so close to him and reared its head!!!!

    So wish I could be at the Bowral book store, I hope it is such a success for Nikki. I think I might send my Mum on the night to buy her book for me!

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