The thankless days

Tonight I cooked my family a meal that I knew no one really wanted to eat. I had a huge amount of veggies that I needed to get through – a generous donation of leafy greens from a friends garden as well as my weekly organic delivery and a glut of eggs. There was one thing for it, the RIGHT thing to do, and that was make a frittata. Now I love a frittata, tasty, nutritious, filling, cheap and easy. I chopped, I stirred, I fried, I poured and I whacked under the grill knowing full well that noses would turn up at it’s arrival on the dinner table. I cooked a few lamb & rosemary sausages knowing this.

A few pieces were attempted (from my children at least) and even enjoyed by my 7 year old. I enjoyed it. And I know what we are all better off for having all this goodness in our bellies. Because: IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO. And as Mums, it’s what we do every bloody day. Make those decisions for people we love because it’s the grown up, right, Mum thing to do.

IMG_3276

We think of interesting ways to cook good food for our family, and even if they don’t like it, we try it again and again until one day they do like it.

IMG_2614

We choose good foods over bad, making some greens on the plate because I still hear the echo of my own Mother telling me that you have to have something green on your plate every night. We shop, we pack the car, we unload, we unpack. We wash, we fold, we put away.

IMG_2731

We clean.

IMG_3133

We cut the fruit.

IMG_3152

We clean the toilets. We rub the backs. We pat babies to sleep. We wake in the night. We scoop vomit chunks from sheets before washing them. We wipe the kitchen bench down 146 times a day. We sweep the crumbs. We do the right thing, making so many decisions each and every day, the right things for the people that we love.

And so often, no one notices a thing.

But I do. And I am here to tell you that that fruit you cut up today? That dinner that no one liked? That floor that was mopped? That washing that was put away? You did that that well. You made the right choice. And you are loved and appreciated. I just know it. We’re all in this together.

37aeadd5b5f9ccc619deaa2aa46cc9d2

Tell me something you did today that no one noticed.
Let me give it the praise that was truly warranted!

I’ll start…Beth that frittata that you made for dinner, while not really loved by all, it WAS tasty, and you know that next time you make it, it is one step closer to becoming a family favourite (OK it’s totally not) but thank you for going to the trouble regardless.

Now you…go!

Comments

  1. I made phone calls and sent emails as P&C rep for my daughters school. Then made Jam Drops for the first time – been wanting to for ages !!!!!

  2. Well I don’t do it for any small humans or a husband, but just for myself. Nevertheless, I had a jolly good kitchen tidy up, stacking the things, rinsing the things, and then I did a good grocery shop yesterday, which means that I have a kitchen ready to create yummy, easy, good for me meals this week. The heat is coming, so it is salad fixings, ham and rolls at the ready, backed up by a mushroom and bacon risotto that I cooked last night for when a salad roll just won’t cut it.
    When you live alone, nobody ever says thank you! So I say good job Nettie, you’re alright!

  3. Tonight I’m going to give myself some time to relax but I consider this a gift to my family as well because it saves me from getting to the stage where I’m burnt out and cranky! But I think a typical thing us parents do which go unrewarded is getting the kids to help with some chores which would be easier to do ourselves but which we know will help them develop skills to make their lives (and their wives or husbands lives) easier in the future.

  4. Today I cooked three meals for my baby, fed 3 pets, cooked muffins and cookies for playgroup, squeezed in 4 hours of work, bathed baby, 2 loads of washing and I have a happy baby at the end of the day. But you’re right, I haven’t packed the dishwasher yet…

  5. Lisa Mckenzie says

    Washed,grocery shopped put it away,folded the clothes made dinner ,just put the dishwasher on and will unpack it and that doesn’t include the everyday sweeping cleaning of bathrooms etc!anx I will do it all over again!Beth you can’t please everyone every night at dinner and that’s ok xx

  6. Oh Beth, awesome idea! I woke at 5.30, walked the dog, got 3 kids up, fed them a healthy organic brekkie, put a load of wash on, hung a load of wash out, get the kids to school with hearty and healthy packed lunches ( packed mine too ), came back, gym, shower, then off to work an 8 hour day in the office, but not before filling the slow cooker for dinner tonight. yikes. when I read all of that………….I am going to say it! Good job Linda! no one has died yet from a frittata or two!

  7. On no sleep thanks to Bub (ok haven’t slept for months!) I played play dough with my 5 year old and baked lactation cookies to help my BF supply. Then cooked a meal for my family (and brother and Dad who moved in since dad lost job) and washed all the dishes cause my dishwasher broke! Yikes…rest time ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. This post totally resonated … Thanks heaps x

  9. Beth, how do you always know how I am feeling and that I need to know I am not alone….god help me, I have been feeling EXACTLY like this all day “why do I bother, no one cares, no one helps keep this shit hole tidy, no one appreciates ANY OF IT so why the hell do I bother”… It is draining – this little ESFJ needs praise – and with that praise I am sure I could rule the world and do so much, but without it I am drained and could not be arsed doing a single bloody thing! So thanks Betharoony. Yes, I did cut a lot of f#$king fruit up today and yes, I did wipe that god damned bench down 147 times. You are TOTALLY on my wave Beth, totally!!!!

  10. Well I think your frittata looks bloody delicious! The biggest thing I did today was just get through the day, you know when you have one of those days and just making it to the end seems like a HUGE achievement? Well that’s me today but tomorrow is a beautiful new day that I intend to cherish. Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone Beth ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. I baked a cake with my toddler, washed my child after he decided to use the greased cake tin as a hat (he still smells like butter), did some laundry, actually tackled the hand washing pile, responded to life administration emails, went to the playground, and cooked dinner.
    Oh and wiped up the kitchen bench and the kitchen floor more times than I can countโ€ฆsee baked a cake with my toddler above.
    And now I am sitting down, thinking about everything I have left to do!

  12. ffhousemouse says

    Today was spent CLEANING and organising everything in sight ready for a heap of visitors. Also much time on the phone to TELSTRA about a billing issue. Helping a Jackaroo with a hand injury. Currently sweating it out in a tin shed serving after work drinks and snacks to the Staff. The most pesky thing is the fact that I still have about two hours of cleaning to do AFTER Dinner – nothing worse! I would enjoy and appreciate that Frittata Beth!

  13. This morning I took my 4 yo daughter to swimming and dancing. She decided to go on strike at dancing and on the way home declared that she didn’t want me as a mum anymore. Then she got all morbid and asked those tough questions about people dying and said she didn’t want her dad to die and burst into tears. I could whinge about my afternoon too but I’ve still got shit to do around the house, stacks of folding and putting away of clothes so I must stop fucking procrastinating. Thanks for the lend of your ear.

  14. I’m just going to sit here and cry. Tears of bloody tiredness and frustration. I cooked, cleaned, fed, fought, yelled yadda yadda yadda. Being a good mama bear with two little ones and daddy home very little is hard work some days. I’m blessed to have them, I know, but sweet baby cheeses I want to run away right now.

    • “sweet baby cheeses”! I laughed out loud. ๐Ÿ˜€ So there is something else you have done today. Thanks.

      • Ha! Glad I could be of service Mary! x

        • I’m with Mary Gemma you have added a new phrase to my repertoire. I regularly text a close friend (or she texts me) to ask if we can run away and join the circus. If you can up with a phrase like that after a crapppy day you are most welcome to run away with us too! You too Mary!

          • I would love to join the circus with you! A friend and I often dream running away to 5 star motels on our own.

            As much as I’d love to claim the saying as my own I think it came from a movie or tv show?! Regardless it’s a good one and as I’m trying to curb my swearing it does the job nicely!

            Let me know when we leave for the circus! x

    • Oh Gemma…it’s SUCH hard work. I hope a good nights sleep and a new day has bought some brightness x

      • Thanks Beth! Hope your dinner tonight was better received too x

        • It was! Nailed it tonight!

          • Jacqueline says

            Ah the 5 star hotel dream! When my twins (who are about to turn 16) were small I used to fantasise about checking into a local motel (not even 5 star) just to sleep BY MYSELF! Sadly it never happened but I still dream of the ultimate mothers’ day where I would check in to a 5 star hotel on the Saturday night and have room service, leave the dishes outside the door, leave my towels on the floor and wake up to room service breakfast! Failing that if we ever get to run away to the circus I will count you in!

          • I have had that very same dream!

  15. Thank you for this post. I run Family Daycare from home and spend all day saying: “Thank YOU” to myself when I do drinks/food/shoes on etc etc for many small children.
    “We’re all in this together.” is a lovely sentiment. Thanks again.

  16. This is such a great idea Beth, if no-one else notices, let’s notice each other. By the way, great job with that frittata. I’d eat it! Yum!! Let’s see, my day started at 2am when I tested my daughter’s blood glucose levels (she has Type 1 Diabetes and is on an insulin pump) and I can tell you nobody in this house stirred to notice I was up. Then I dragged myself out of bed at 6am to pack 5 lunch boxes just like I will tomorrow morning, but totally litter free because of course they have to make my morning just that little bit harder by having litter free lunch day (great cause, but sometimes a bit of a pain). Then it was endless laundry and dishes in between washing all of the walls in half of our house and I only have 5 bedrooms, the hall, laundry and two bathrooms to go. You can’t have too much fun in one day now can you. And tonight I cooked dinner for our family of 8 and got my husband out the door in time for Kindy Orientation night (he’s the president so couldn’t not go). And now I’m thinking a nice glass of red is in order after we finish our readers and I get the kids to bed. Oh, and I baked!

  17. This week while one of my friends had to rush back to the UK to be with her sick Mum. I am looking after her two kids during the day. I’ve gone from Mum of one to Mum of three this week and it’s bloody tough! I’m the limo driver, the bouncer, the referee and handing out lots of extra hugs and kisses because they are missing their Mum.

  18. Thanks Beth as most nights I get complaints about the food that I cook which makes me hate doing it even more. I have washing that I’ve put away that is now strewn across messy drawers and a nice clean benchtop all ready to be destroyed again tomorrow, but I made it through another day!

  19. A work day today plus the usual home-related tasks like doing drop offs and picks ups plus getting everyone’s B, L & D ready and cleaning the kitchen.. But today, what really got to me, was the general lack of nice things coming out of their mouths.

  20. I spent ALL DAY compiling the auction catalogue for my kids school strawberry fair and I have to do it all again tomorrow coz it’s such a massive fucking job!

  21. Was woken up at 4.45 with demands to watch Peppa Pig… Served up a buffet of breakfast options to have a mouthful taken out of each, 4 loads of washing after a hint from hubby that he was running out of clean shorts (and have just been reminded by hubby that said washing is yet to be put away), mopped up more wee than I care for (toilet training bites), grocery shopping, a babycino play date, enjoyed a much needed afternoon sleep while my 2 year old slept, cooked a roast dinner (which Miss 2 turned her nose up at), cleaned the kitchen for the 50th time today and just got miss 2 to sleep after a mammoth wobbly caus apparently she is now scared of the dark…. Sigh. I know I know, first world problems and all that! Oh and being 34 weeks pregnant I’m in denial how I’m going to do the above with the addition of a newborn in a few weeks time!

  22. I love a good frittata and that looked the goods Beth. I’ve dealt with a small, cranky and sick human today with a nose running like a faucet. Made three different breakfasts, three different lunches and 2 different dinners but I’m lucky as I know it’s appreciated as the husband says thanks and helps clean up. I love the sentiment and knowledge we’re all in it together… Safety in numbers right?? Jx

  23. BETH!

    THIS is why I adore you.

    I really needed to read this tonight!

    I feel like I’m elbow deep in the thankless years, & that thanklessness even appears to be rippling out to my husband!

    Tonight? I decided I shouldn’t pick the mostly picture book for Max, because that’s fucking lazy, & even though I am tired, I will READ Max a story!

    Half a page in, do you know what he says?!

    He lets out this huge, audible SIGH, & says, “aw Mummy, this is taking TOO long!”

    Jesus.
    Fucking.
    Christ.

    / rant.

    • Bahahaha! That is just classic ๐Ÿ™‚

      Yes, thank you Beth! I adore this post. Today I changed the sheets, and nobody but me cares. But it was the right thing to do. I love the reminder that there are other mums doing exactly the same thing as me. Thank you.

    • Cherie, see my comment on Gemma’s post above. You too are welcome to run away with us to the imaginary circus! Your rant was priceless. Hope today is a better one for you.

    • Dude, rant away. I’m listening. x

  24. Anita Jones says

    Currently rubbing the back of the 6 year old that had me waiting at the docs for over an hour as he’s covered in spots that may well just be a mass of insect bites, but to be on the safe side we were there to rule out POX.

  25. I don’t have children but I’ve been spending an awfully big amount of time cleaning up after our cat Mr Pabio. We used to use a kitty litter made out of newspaper but the german ones all mark the floor like you’ve been wiping it with chalk. Going to try the crystals next.

    But your post was actually just what i needed to hear. thank you.

  26. Spot on! Will remember this next time one of my kids says “yeh it’s ok, you just gotta get past the smell” at the dinner table………

  27. I changed the toilet smelly thing that hangs underneath the toilet. Now it’s taken a while to find the right scent I’m happy with – lavender, island dreams, floral delight – no no no. Finally I have found a simple orange one. I’m really happy with my choice. I am the only person who changes these orange smelly toilet things, when they get empty. Nobody notices – well maybe except for Rocco because I think he may actually AIM his wee stream right on it. My toilets smell like mens urinals, and I do everything in my power for them to make them smell semi-decent.

    Thank you for this opportunity to share, Beth.

    x

    • Yes Eden yes! I too have discovered the orange smelly thing. It is the BEST! Especially if you have males in the household and that mens’ urinal smell just won’t go away.

    • I just keep on giving Edie. I can’t imagine boys. All that penis. All that wee. Sending you love x

    • O Eden, my toilets smell like a men’s urinal too. No matter what I do or how much domestos I toss around in there, down on my hands and knees with my purple gloves on – IT. STILL. SMELLS. So bloody disgusting, the least they could do is get it in the toilet and not up my walls. I think I just need to douse the whole thing in bleach and bi-carb! O and I have given up on those toilet scent things….I think the boys eat them.

  28. Oh Beth. This couldn’t have come at a better time. So often I feel like all my hard work goes unnoticed {and it probably does by my family} but other Mums know and understand and APPRECIATE!
    I got home from work {after an extremely shitty day} – and scrubbed black permanent marker scribble from the WHITE kitchen!!!! Cooked a healthy tuna dish, organised to look at another freakin rental tomorrow {the 12th this fortnight}, folded and put away nine million loads of clean washing, remade the 2 year old’s bed with clean sheets {because I was scraping vomit and cleaning them the night before!} AND scrubbed someone else’s poo from the toilet bowl. Fun times.
    And it’s these very time-consuming, not-so-fun, repetitive things that we do as Mums are what go very unnoticed.
    So, again, THANK YOU Beth!
    Right back at ya.
    C x

  29. I’m just doing the same stuff that all we mum’s do. The cooking, cleaning, washing, relentless routine. However this year I’ve been doing it while in constant pain with a wrist fracture that has gone horribly wrong. Arrgh. Anyway what I wanted to say is this : my kids are getting older now, my eldest is 15. And when he was young he hated all those ‘healthy’ foods. Now that he’s older he loves it and really appreciates that I persevered with ‘force feeding’ him that muck and actually thanks me for it. Aaahh *glowing feeling* – there are rewards eventually.

  30. I did a full weeks grocery shop, to a healthy meal plan I created that we follow WITH a shopping list AND a toddler! Just cleaned the grubby prints off the windows and about to do the floors and loos now that the little guy is asleep. It’s that time I of the month over here so it should be no surprise that I cried ready your post today!

  31. I did a full weeks grocery shop, to a healthy meal plan I created that we follow WITH a shopping list AND a toddler! Just cleaned the grubby prints off the windows and about to do the floors and loos now that the little guy is asleep. It’s that time I of the month over here so it should be no surprise that I cried reading your post today!

  32. Beth, if we lived closer I would have popped around with a bottle of vino to enjoy with that delicious looking frittata and I would have made all sorts of “ooooh” “yummy” “this is soooo good” noises at the dinner table. I’ve got your back. x

    As for me, I got up and came to work…only to be told I’d called the wrong person yesterday to inform them that I wouldn’t be in that day, because I was in agony due to my neck being out and had an emergency physio and doctor’s appointment…and that my sick certificate was for the entire week, so why was I at work today. Thanks guys.

  33. Man, that frittata looked and sounded so good, I would have been over in a heartbeat and licked my plate clean! I made fudge my for #fucktober because fudge is like balm for the belly and the soul. Then I tidied the house in preparation for the cleaners (what’s with that?!) and made hubster some no bake granola bars because I can’t bear the thought of the other rubbish that he eats for breakfast. Gah, the cooking, cleaning and laundering is just relentless, isn’t it? Thanks, Beth. That’s just what I needed to hear!

  34. I’m the step mum that is 100% responsible b/c the bio mum opted out of being in her life.
    I took 9 months off work to nurture when she got sick.
    I take time off work each week to take her to the appointments to assist her recovery.
    I make food daily that she doesn’t want to eat but I keep on her to eat it because otherwise she gets the tube inserted.
    I organised and paid for a fancy afternoon tea for her friends that she asked for.
    She treats me like I’m her enemy.

  35. Just the post I needed this morning – perfect timing, thanks Beth:)

    Good job on the frittata!

    I made healthy beef n veggie casserole, paid the bills & washed & folded four loads.

  36. I think that’s the nicest post you’ve ever written! It totally feels like no one notices, even though I know they do (sometimes) and it’s a lovely feeling to think we’re all in it together, even if that’s a silent understanding amongst all these mums and women..

  37. Linda Jenkins says

    I cleaned the bathrooms so well I even cleaned the toilet brush holders and the rubbish bins our dog keeps weeing on !
    No one noticed so I had to announce it at the end of the day to my family ๐Ÿ™‚
    Plus we have lovely clean sheets on all the beds this week which I love !
    I loved this post Beth

  38. I’m sitting on the couch, just finished a cup of tea, scrolling through recipes I should get up and create for kindy lunch boxes, whilst avoiding the clean washing piled up high on the floor and couch (thank you children), listening to the washing machine spin away, knowing that the dishes piled high drying will need putting away… wanting a shower and to go to bed… But I did cook the girls’ favourite – spaghetti Bolognese, and they did get to bed at a reasonable time… So, time to get up, get baking, put some clothes away, hang some out and get ready for another day at work..
    ‘Coz I got this, can do this and will do it with a smile!! I’m alright I say.
    Loved your post. You’re very good at sayin’ it how it is!
    XX JJ

  39. Frittatas are fancy in our house- we chuck in a bit of chorizo amongst all the good-for-you stuff and call it a Spanish Omlette. Perhaps changing the name and adding Chorizo might get it over the line? In our house, Chorizo makes everything better.

  40. The frittata I made for dinner was thrown all over the freshly mopped floor by The Toddler. He followed that up with a massive bath poo. Oh Beth, the things you have to look forward to again! He also put his chubhy arms around my neck and gave me an eskimo kiss, then collapsed in a fit of the most beautiful giggles. Oh the things you have to look forward to again ๐Ÿ™‚ x

Trackbacks

  1. […] Readย it now->ย The Thankless Days […]

Speak Your Mind

*