Filling up

I’m trying my best to get out most days and get moving. I’ve tackled it with more enthusiasm than I’ve had in about 18 months and it feels good. It’s getting easier (kind of) and (at the moment) my desire to get out there and do it is stronger than my urge to not go. So that’s something.
This morning I was out in the much cooler and misty air thinking about how many fresh starts we give ourselves at the start of new years. New promises to ourselves. New goals set. I thought about some of my own – weight shifted, dead shit boyfriends dumped and all the things that should have been done that weren’t – careers not explored, travel not completed, time wasted.
I always wish that I had managed to get a job after University in design (what I had studied). I instead had rent to pay and so found myself temping in finance and stumbled upon a career in that industry that lasted for over 10 years. I always wish that I had travelled more. I wish I had spent time living overseas – in London or even better somewhere like NY. I wish I had travelled more in general – spent time in countries I’d only ever dreamt about and pushed myself right out of my comfort zone. I wish I’d lived with friends, wish I’d gotten my licence and had freedom to go wherever it was I wanted to go.
When we were in New Zealand last year Rob’s Dad told a wonderful story to one of the fishing guides that I hadn’t heard before. He spoke about travelling with his own Dad when he was just a kid, his Dad was a salesmen flogging lollies to corner stores. One School holidays he was in his truck, waiting while his Dad went and sold the lollies before moving onto the next job. He sat and waited, looking out his window at a Nursing Home. He was just 8 or so at the time, but he sat and looked at those old people on the verandah, all lined up, sitting in the sunshine, in the silence. He thought to himself about how many memories you must need inside your head to keep you company when no one else talks to you. And he vowed, there and then, as a young boy to spend his life filling up his head with memories, adventures, travel and stuff to keep him company one day when he was an old man.Β 
And he has.
I wish I had filled up a little more in my twenties. So much opportunity wasted to push myself, be truly happy. Things have been very different these past (almost) 10 years that I’ve been with Rob. We’ve made such a wonderful life together, we’ve travelled, we’ve partied hard, we’ve worked hard, we’ve saved money, we’ve bought houses, we’ve made a family, we’ve worked together, we’ve got through the hard yards of small kids, and there is SO much more to come.Β 
As I get further away from that girl in her twenties, literally running away from her into my thirties and beyond at the start to each new year, I’m glad that there is (I hope!) still a whole lot more time to fill up.
Do you have any big regrets that continue to play on your mind, even after all these years?
Have you set some new goals this year?
Can you explain to me HOW it is that I’ve moved my arse 47.5km’s over the past 10 days and PUT ON WEIGHT? How is that even allowed?!


  1. Muscle is heavier than fat. That’s what I tell myself πŸ™‚

  2. that seems very unfair! 47kms is alot of exersize!
    I choose to not have regrets, if anything was different I may not be where I am today.. and I quite like it here
    ExceptionI would have got married.. 10years and 3kids and still not married.. its my goal for 2013 and we are trying to set a date

    • Of course! Without all those not doing’s I would never have gotten here…I just wished I pushed myself more. So much potential! Anyway…plenty of time to make up for it all now right?

      Good luck with setting a date! x

  3. I know you not supposed to but it’s really hard not to live life with regrets. I think it takes turning thirty for that other cliche about “only living once” to really sink in. I’m sure you’ll be on that nursing home verandah regaling tales of a full life to all the other residents.

  4. You can’t help but look back sometimes and wonder…I wish I’d have travelled more. I wish I’d spent more years single and not “with” someone – I think I lost a bit of myself somewhere along the way.

    I have to get out this morning for my run – glad it’s cooler! Oh, and you can’t outrun a bad diet (so they tell me).

  5. Thanks for the motivation to keep working on my fitness Beth, am slogging away at it too! My regret is not living in the moment when it was happening, always looking ahead. My kids are now almost grown up and my regret is that I didn’t savour the time with them when they were little as much as I should have, cos it goes fast.

  6. I have a print that says youth is wasted on the young. True enough I have more regrets than I care to remember similar to yours travel more see more do more! Love that we get the wisdom while we still gave a chance to change the record. Loved this post x

  7. I try not to think about the ‘what ifs’, all of the things I have done have lead me here. With two amazing children. I fall over enough, so I try to always look forward in the direction I am going, rather than back.

  8. Yes and yes and yes! I’ve just turned 35 and it feels like a tipping point in so many ways as I move out of that baby-toddler phase into somewhere where I need to start making my life happen again.

    These are going to be my hurricane years!

    PS – take measurements. its the only way to track your progress. good work on 47.5km… so hardcore!

  9. I agree with Lisa. The daft decisions, the wrong boyfriends, the unsaved money – they all lead you to the right people, the right loves, the right life. And it’s never too late to travel, to experience, to dream.

  10. This is one of my favourite posts of late, just thought you should know. I’m 35 as well. Took my 14 year old daughter to New York in November and it was the first trip I’ve done overseas. It is the first time in my adult life I did something that I truly wanted to do. I loved how much it has made her ‘really think’ I love the potential that New Years grant us and I think getting here, to this point in my life I am truly starting to take a step back and ponder where on earth am I going and how am I going to get there.

    Nice thoughts really.

    On weight well yes, I am not even ready to assess the Christmas damage but might dust of the tready soon.

  11. That’s why I don’t run. My thyroid doesn’t like it πŸ˜‰ And ditto re my 20s Beth … here to tell you though you can make it up!

  12. Your post made me cry Beth. There are SO MANY regrets. So many things I wish I had done and so many things I wish to still do. So much time wasted. We make our own dreams and if we are too scared to get out there and chase them then they are not going to happen. We need guts and we need people to believe in us and push us towards our dreams. You have literally made me want to run towards it this morning when I was so afraid and wanted to run away from them. So I thank you. Oh and the running/putting weight on thing…muscle. All on your calves. πŸ™‚ xx

  13. Most of my regrets are just silly little things that don’t really matter now and I know won’t matter when I am old in grey…living in Italy for three months was wonderful but I so regret not keeping up with my Italian when I left, living in NYC was the best but I do sometimes wish I had spent less on trying to look like Carrie Bradshaw and had saved more.

    Live and learn.

  14. Congrats on packing so much life into your … life!

    I think you’ve done so brilliantly, & you have so much life left to take care of any regrets.


    I regret not taking a honeymoon.

    Seriously regret it.

    Because I could score myself a Max free holiday, sure, but … I’ll never look the same in a skimpy bikini as I would have a couple of days after my wedding. In fact, one piece is the only option now πŸ˜‰


    • Yes! It was the ONLY time I have ever worn a bikini. Ever. In Thailand on the H-moon. Maybe I’ll get back there though…it’s never too late right?

  15. I only have the one regret of not travelling more when we were young and free. But it will come slowly. My big travel dream currently is New York for my 40th. It will happen, only 6 more years to go.

  16. Love Rob’s dad’s story! Something to think about and motivate me to make changes in my life.

  17. I wish I had done a bit more in my twenties, but looking back we were working hard which has paid off financially now, plus I had 3 babies in that time. We’ve decided we’re going to do some overseas travel, we’ll just have to bring the kids along with us! What an adventure that will be! I’m going to make more time to do some grown up things with friends now that my youngest isn’t so tiny.

  18. I should have gone to uni. Instead I kept working at Maccas, hung out with my boyfriend & partied hard with my friends.
    Little did I know that three years later I’d be pregnant & never have that freedom again….
    It truly is my only regret in life.

  19. 1. I don’t believe in regrets but if I had a magic wand I wish I’d not married my 1st husband and met Old Mr FF sooner. We were friends for 7 years before we got together and if I could do it again I’d scrap the 7 years and make them shorter.

    2. exercise is great for stress relief and toning but if it is weight loss you are after I’m sorry but you will have to eat less. Portion control being key and all

    3. never weigh yourself- just trust if your clothes seem looser

    4. that is all.

  20. 47.5km, what a rocking effort.
    I keep getting reminded by my sister that it is 30% exercise and 70% food… In my effort to shift the kilos I now sprint as hard as I can then jog and repeat over and over. Seems to work a bit better than the standard jog.

    My real only regret is not spending more times overseas. They have always been quickish trips. Hope I can do more in the future.

  21. I should have gone to uni when I finished school. I thought I had time but three years later I was pregnant. I wish I knew way back then that I’d never have that kind of freedom again.
    I don’t regret having my baby but I do regret not going to uni. It’s really my only regret in life….

  22. Oh dear Beth. On my ‘to do’ list today was to blog about a topic so similar. The “I wish I had’s…” As much as we tell ourselves ‘no regrets’, we do have them. Sometimes they consume me to the point of breaking, other times they just drive me to fill my life full of memories. Think I will leave my blog post for a while now, you have written so beautifully x

  23. Thank you for a great post..I’ve really been feeling like I’m in a bit of a lull and don’t know where life is heading. Turning 30 last year, finished having babies, don’t have any ‘current’ qualifications after time off work having babies and little ones…broke so the reno’s and holidays aren’t happening…just makes you think about what you would have done differently and how you want to have a big impact on the future. Thank you.

  24. It’s all about the muscles baby!

  25. Turning 30 does it. Yes you start to think like that. Beth you design study was to do this now I think.

  26. I was a useless 20-somthing. I swear I spent about 5 years of my 20s going to work, coming home, watching television, going to work etc etc. Thankfully I got my arse into gear towards the end of my 20’s and got out and started to see the world, do more and am now having a brilliant time in my 30’s. If I teach my (one day maybe) kids anything it will be that you have to get out and live life.

  27. Hah! Was going to say that muscle weighs more that fat Beth, but it looks like a very wise soul has beaten me to it.

    I wasted may soooo much time in my 20s worrying about what everyone else thought of me. I also was very busy being ‘sensible’. Waitressing my way through uni, finishing my law degree, working for horrible bosses for far too long because quiting didn’t seem like the responsible thing to do.

    I still struggle with letting my hair down a making having fun a priority, but I have become a hell of a lot better at being me and telling other people to shove it when required. Claire

  28. OMG i am moving too.
    and more radically- wanting to move.
    and using weight watchers.
    and measuring.
    who even are we?

    i tell you what.
    we are people that are learning to love ourselves.
    best new years resolution ever.

    taken me over 40 years.

    but bethy don’t ever live with regrets lovely lady.
    yes by all means use your experience- and the things you say you ‘should’ have done-but use it as a positive life force to make changes ahead.
    don’t give yourself a hard time for what choices you made at the time.

    i moved in with my fella at 18.
    we are still together over 25 years later.
    i never ‘lived’ the life of most twenty year olds either.

    there is no ‘right’ path.

    bu jeexz that story from your father in law is a beauty.

    i love how we really ‘hear’ stuff that we need to …….

    you are ace ladycakes.

  29. Great post, such a cool story about your pa. to ave that revelation at 8 sure would make for a full life!
    I’m sure there will be time when yours girls are older to traipse the globe again. Think we all wish we used out time better per kids. I had grand old ideas that it would be easy to still travel haha. No way I’m flying anywhere with toddlers.
    Also I use an app called bodyshot- take progress pics n put all your measurements in ect. Works well πŸ™‚ so much running, well done!

  30. Special post, Beth. Thanks for the reminder.

  31. What a beautifully written post. I love the thought of filling up on memories and adventures to keep you company in old age.

  32. You are ace. And I adore this post. xxx

  33. About 12 months ago, we were having dinner with some close friends who were in the first year of a serious relationship. They were bickering about whether they should buckle down and save or travel or move to the country. I said that my biggest regret was not travelling and living overseas as a couple and that now with a mortgage and three children (one school age) it was very difficult to even think about doing it. They decided that, yeah, it might be a good idea to travel.

    Six months later, in the same week, they got their first mortgage and waved us off to Dubai. It’s strange how things work out.

    I’m a great believer of things working out how they’re meant to, but also being open to all experiences and opportunities and making the most of every one of them. I find that limits regrets. Feel the fear and do it anyway, is a great motto to stop regrets and one I’ve only learnt in my 30s. I have no regrets as of today. For some of us it takes a little longer to learn, but that’s ok, we’ve learnt it and that’s what matters. Xx

  34. I try not to spend time regretting the past…it’s easy to do…but gets you nowhere.
    Focus on the future…and be brave enough to make changes if they’re needed.
    We can usually still do the things we feel we missed….we just might have to do them a bit differently……mind you I wouldn’t mind reliving my 20’s with the knowledge and life experience I have at 40.

  35. I would like to think I don’t have many reqrets. I don’t regret my 1st change of career path which took me overseas for 6 years, I don’t regret my second career change either even though sometimes I feel that I will forever be ‘behind’. I don’t regret the man I fell in love with and the cosy life which we have created but I do regret how my choice in man causes my mother so much grief and has forever changed our mother-daughter relationship.

  36. Regrets…I have so many regrets. I used to think about them so much that I now have a new regret – wasting my time thinking about my regrets πŸ˜‰ It is almost impossible not to think about them though, it is all part of the human condition.

    My regrets are so similar to yours. I wish I had lived overseas, I wish I had traveled more, I wish I had not wasted so much time, I wish I had not fallen into the first job that I took and stayed there for so long. I completely relate to you saying that you were stuck in your comfort zone. That job I had sure did pay the bills and then some but my soul was sucked dry, nothing was feeding my soul.

    One of my biggest regrets is being such a big wus when it comes to meeting new people, both in ‘real life’ and on line. So, after reading your blog for a bazillion years, here I am taping away at the keyboard making what I think is my first ever comment on your blog. Take that regrets !!

    Oh and PS, after reading through the amazing holiday you took in NZ recently – not to mention the great times you spend at the your in laws place with that pool over looking that amazing view of bush land – I added a new regret to my list…marrying a man whose Dad doesn’t take me along on great NZ fly fishing trips and who doesn’t have an awesome bush land setting pool. ;D

    • Flickerty! Although I just want to call you Flickerty SPLITS! Thanks for your first ever comment. Don’t you THINK I don’t appreciate it! Here’s to no more regrets! And fabulous father in laws! x

  37. I don’t think it’s possible to not have any regrets. I started dating my hubs when I was 15. First and only boyfriend,married him as soon as i was 18. Now I’m 25 with two small children. Sometimes I get a liitle sad that i didn’t get a mad twenties. We didn’t really travel or go nuts, but instead bought a house when we were 21 and I look at my tired overweight 25 year old body and it feels like I’m 35! But sometimes I think I just need to look at it from a different perspective. How lucky am I that I found my favourite person in the world so young? And that we can look forward to maybe paying off our mortgage by the time I’m 40? Plus motherhood may be tough, but it’s such a rewarding job. I still have plenty of years left for a ‘career’ if I want one, once my babies grow up. And i look forward to being a mad old grey nomad one day! We’re all different, and living in ‘if only’ land only robs us of today.

  38. awesome “do”. I’m heading back to the hairdressers this week, I was there the same day as you, I hesitated about the undercut, but I want, I need! Wish I had the balls for the peroxide.

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