A contradiction

If you haven’t worked it out by now, I’m a bit of a fruitcake when it comes to things around the house. I sweep like a mad woman each and every day and if there is a crumb on my floor, DEAR GOD it will be swept it. We know my thoughts on a well made bed, or washing up. I am thorough. Anal. Neat. It’s just how I roll.

But other areas of my life? LAZY. Things like dry cleaning? It just doesn’t get done. Not ever. And I don’t know why there is such a disconnect between the two. I’ll wash a sheet to within an inch of it’s life, but my bridesmaid’s dress from my sister’s wedding March LAST YEAR? Not done. My wedding dress from 7 years ago? Still hanging up with the chocolate gelato stains down the front of it. I know! Who am I? Why is it so?

Realising that the Ball is coming up this weekend and the dress that I needed to wear still had about 4 inches of DIRT around the bottom of it, I decided to get washing this morning.

It’s still not 100% clean, which doesn’t really surprise me given that the dress was filthy from walking around a garden well over a year ago. The majority of the dirt has moved but there are a few spots here and there that won’t budge. In a panic I drove into town to see if there was anything out there for me.

I found this. In Witchery. On sale. TERRIBLE PHOTO, but you get the picture right? It’s a little sassy, and short, but it has sleeves and given the fact that it’s forecast to go down to MINUS 1 Saturday night, I’ll take them. And there is a bonus, it’s clean! I thought with a sheer stocking, red lips, high heels and PLENTY of bling it will fulfill the dress code of Fabulous. Yay? Nay?

Are you lazy like me? Is there a certain area of your life that doesn’t quite match to your normal standards? Does the dress look like an emo wedding dress from 1987? Should I wear the other one? How many questions can I ask you in one post?


  1. I think it’s SMOKIN’ Beth. Accessorise the hell out of it and it will definitely meet the dress code.

    And yes – my cupboard is full of dresses with rum stains down the front and dirt stains around the hem. I’m just lucky that my mum took ownership of my wedding dress and actually got the train cut off as it was so tattered! Thank god for Mum’s eh!

  2. Love the dress. But that maybe cause I have one almost identical. I get a lot of compliments when I wear it! You’ll look hot.

  3. Gorgeous dress Dahl! Love it!

  4. It’s only an emo wedding dress from 1987 if there is a visible white or red garter and stilettos with a leather bow on the back. P.S SNOW!! (maybe) at a winterball! Enjoy!

  5. YOU WEAR THAT MINI DRESS BETH! And the red lip. The wang will be impressed x

  6. Go the long dress – it’s a ball, not a cocktail party. I’m currently looking for a dress to wear (dress code says Black tie/cocktail) but I so badly want to wear a ball gown (only because I never get to wear one…).

  7. Anonymous says

    OMG BETH you are TINY!!!!!! Ummm I dont think you need a personal trainer AT ALL..
    Go the long dress more BALLish, you can wear long tights under it and no one would know, would keep your legs very warm an have a throw for your shoulders…
    You have Killer Legs.. Far out you look so sporty..

  8. Anonymous says

    On another note can you tell me the secret to being so anal about housework I bloody wish I was πŸ™

  9. The black looks HOT but I’d be more inclined to go for the long one- it seems more ball-y if you know what I mean?….

    This anal cleaning habit you talk of, where do you find one of those? Can you buy it online or do they sell them with the brooms in Woolies?

  10. i can’t answer the dress question, i’m not qualified (as in i went to a high tea on the weekend to celebrate the queen’s jubilee, and was asked to dress appropriately, when i asked what the flippin heck that meant i was told i had to wear a girly dress… therefore i had to BUY a dress! luckily i found one on sale. but then i couldn’t bring myself to wear stockings – felt like the stockings meant i was taking the whole thing waaaaay too seriously. my response? i rocked my new girly dress with hot neon pink tights! oh yes i did)

    but yes, i so am on the same page with the confounding contradictions of my ways. Anal with cleaning the kitchen, the placement of items on the washing line, aligning the vacuum marks on the carpet, getting joy from the fact my rubbish is collected so early in the morning that i can bring the bins back in before i go to work… BUT step into my spare bedroom and you should see the chaos! and all the weeds in my garden. love it!!

  11. Big thumbs up to meeting the dress code ( tick ). Area that does not reflect my normal OCDish ways is boots…yeah I wear those suckers down and never ever do I take them to be re heeled even when I sound like I’m wearing tap shoes, and when it gets so humiliating I kick em off in to the bottom of the cupboard and pull myself out a brand spanking new pair only to wear those down and the process repeats itself…..
    Now I have 8 repeat 8 pairs in the boot of my car that I am promising myself I will bring to the shoe maker to be repaired…hasn’t happened yet chances are they will be out of fashion by the time I get there!

  12. That dress is hot! Love it! Do you have red shoes? Check out those legs! Now I sound like a lesbian with a crush…..oh well! You look great. Get it!

  13. OK.
    1. You have one hot bod fine lady.
    2. I know you will look SMOKIN’ in whatever you put on darls but you can do better.
    3. It’s a bit of a black Miss Havisham.

    Am *this* close to not posting this as it flies in the face of every other comment. But here we go. *assumes the crash position*

    I’m also loving Stylist Extraordinaire.

  14. This comment has been removed by the author.

  15. OMG Beth. Sometimes I read your blog and think we have nothing in common. Well, not nothing, but not as much as I was thinking before I read it.

    And sometimes I read it and we are twins. …Kitchen floor – swept, washing – done… Alex Perry (yeah, it’s a story and I love it) wedding dress with stains from walking around and eating indian still in cupboard 7 years on. CHECK!

  16. Go the mini-dress … the black lace dress is very on-trend I believe – (the reason I know this is because a super-chic friend has just bought a similar dress to wear to her 40th). You have good pins that you should show off and a red lip will look smashing – not too much bling though – large blingy earrings and a cocktail ring max … def no neck bling or you’ll wind up looking a bit Dotti .. if you know what I mean.

  17. Smokin! x

  18. Loves it! You will look gorgeous Bev! xx

  19. The black is Klassy and the long one is Classy…both have their definite advantages so it really depends on what kind of evening you are after…

    I would choose the long one because I can’t imagine a ball being a part of my world and if it were I would frock up like there was no tomorrow. It looks more in keeping with the winter ball theme..snow and a sleigh ride if you will. The black would be awesome for a date with the hubs at a perfect restaurant sans kiddos…now I think of it I can’t really imagine that being a part of my world right now either…sigh…
    HOWEVER..it is evening here and I just did the dishes and turned on the mood light…so I’m feeling grand I tell you …just grand!

  20. lovely, great dress, go for it! black is the new black with fabulous ott bling!!!
    yes lace dresses are the go with a tailored jacket perhaps boucle a la Chanel (Zara in the city have some lovely ones under $200)

  21. Oh…and I am not good at folding and putting away the laundry in a timely fashion, there is a clutter/letter/miscellaneous objects such as game pieces, hair elastics, a bit of felt from a craft project, small screwdriver, ball of plasticine type pile on my kitchen counter that I can never clear (contained in a lovely white metal tray mind you) and I put off making appointments and I forget to pay my online bills because they slip down the page and then they disappear…

  22. Have you been working out?

    Dude it’s the millenium years, wear whatever the fuck you feel gorgeous and sexy in.

    Seriously – have you been working out?

    Linda the PT xxooxx

  23. i HEART linda the pt – she rocks and has AWESOME advice!
    gorgeous and sexy is the way to go…whichever that may be!

  24. I’m the same. My wedding dress still has red wine stains on it, shoved in a material bag. Sad isn’t it? The dress needs some bling and you will be set! Have fun. G. x

  25. Oooo I love love love this dress lady. Very sexy and perfect for a Winter ball. You MUST take some serious shots of yourselves decked out for the ball, have to see the full package.
    And yes, I am uber lazy when it comes to getting things dry cleaned. I still get pangs of guilt about my wedding dress… spending almost 8 years in it’s bag, not clean… in our shed. Oh dear lord!

  26. well if the dress code for the ball says Formal, I would take wear the long dress, as gorgeous as the black one is and would be with sheer stockings, its to me a bit more winter cocktail. This comes from experience at our own local ball, and really, how often do you get to frock in in long formal dress?! the black one you will be able to use again and again, the long dress? not so much!

  27. Go the short – definitely, it just seems more ‘you’……..
    Marita x

  28. Go for the long one. It would look gorgeous.

  29. HOT! Love it. Red lips, bling & heels and you’re done! Love it.

  30. I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH THAT YOU SHOULD WEAR THE BLACK ONE! It’s the best thing i’ve ever seen you in ever. I even used caps lock for a long time. Black – wins. x

  31. Nooooo… I see you in long & swishy & all that ball era memories I have. Come on B, not the safety of sexy black with short hot look… Want a BALLgown.. Or you are really disappointing my expectations of a country ball

  32. But I will love whatever you wear…. Xx

  33. I used to be a neat freak, being a full time worker, I used to have a nanny housekeeper who attended to the main living areas. But now as the children are older I have come to the conclusion that if I want to live with my busy, couldn’t care less about neatness family, then I have to give up on it. I am far happier, settled and stress free having stopped trying to be perfect. I have to stop myself from nagging about stuff everywhere, cos seriously there are far more important things to worry about, and I like to get my priorities right. I make sure the kitchen is sparkling, laundry is all done every day and the bathrooms(ahem!) are in order and the rest can fly! Right now the only bed made is my side! and it will stay that way all day. If someone drops in they are far more interested in the welcome they get than the state of the house.

  34. Anonymous says

    The long one for sure! I second Kris’ comment re it speaking more of the snow and sleigh ride and swishing winter glamour. If you could find yourself a white faux fur wrap to go around the shoulders and some ”icicle” bling drop earrings I think it would suit a winter ball theme perfectly … And your girls would be amazed by the big girl’s princess dressing up!

  35. Anonymous says

    The long one for sure! I second Kris’ comment re it speaking more of the snow and sleigh ride and swishing winter glamour. If you could find yourself a white faux fur wrap to go around the shoulders and some ”icicle” bling drop earrings I think it would suit a winter ball theme perfectly … And your girls would be amazed by the big girl’s princess dressing up!

  36. I share your drycleaning avoidance Beth. I thought I was the only one who’s wedding dress hangs in its huge bag with yellowing splashes of bubbly down the front from the original night! I think the little black number has loads of potential. When razzed up it will work perfectly. Cant wait for pics πŸ™‚

  37. Oh you just made me laugh out loud….my wedding dress from almost 16years ago is shoved uncleaned up at the top of my wardrobe, my engagement dress is hanging but uncleaned, christening gowns from my 5 children…all unwashed….I suffer from the disease I.d.w.d.c.s……syndrome…..this is of course short for “I don’t wanna dry clean shit”….xxxx

  38. I have a dress very similar to that from Cue. Bought it about 2 years ago and have worn it to death, great buy!
    Yup, there are a pile of dresses in my spare room that need to go to the drycleaner. I justify it because I only take formal stuff to the good, expensive, inconveniently located dry cleaner so you want a trip to be worth it. But you remind me I have a few things that I HAVE to get to the drycleaner this week!

  39. Anonymous says

    I love the little hand in the background holding the curtain back for you – Harper I assume?

  40. When stuck, get thee to a fabulous costume shop. I picked up a tres glamaroos black ruched velvet full length number that was pure forties movie star diva and it stole the show. Reyurned it next weekend, got the deposit back and always regretted not keeping it!

  41. Fabulous Witchery dress Beth, I don’t suppose instead of cleaning it, you might like to sell it to me??

Speak Your Mind