Ways in which I am old

Alternatively called:
Ways in which I am turning into my mother or
Ways in which I am now middle aged and boring

1. This morning I took 2 children (other than my own) to the movies to see Mr Poppers Penguins. To anyone there I would have looked like a mother, with kids, in school holidays. Standard. It will never fail to make me laugh that that is now the case. I still feel very much like the kid being dragged to the movies not the Mum screaming at the kids to “Hurry up! Sit still! Shhhh! Hold the popcorn, no don’t drop the popcorn on the floor! Yes, I’ll pick it up from the floor. Hang on!” To make myself feel better I sang every lyric to Ice Ice Baby at the conclusion of the film. And danced badly. There may have been some stomping action in our aisle. Ah huh. If I’m going to be a mother, yes indeedy I will be that mother.

2. My Mum is heading to Adelaide this weekend for her friend’s 60th birthday which is no big deal except for the fact that I swear it wasn’t that long ago that we were heading over there for her 40th birthday. I remember it well, that birthday, it was a trip with just Mum and I, we flew over and I got my period for the very first time when we were there. How could I forget that? So that means I have been getting my period for 20 YEARS. That’s 240 times – perhaps a little less given pregnancies etc – but whatevs…20 YEARS. Oh hormones, what a tricky flatmate you have been to live with over the years, particularly these past few post children, here’s to 20 more right?! Happy period Birthday to me!

3. It’s cold here at the moment. Really cold. And I can feel it. In my knees.

4. I find myself going to nurseries to buy Potted colour for my verandah.

5. I write blog posts about lamps. Placement of lamps. Importance of lamps. And just to piss off anon who said “o god! Get a life!!!” I am going to write a follow up post on lamps and then another post on lamps when my new lamp arrives because this is actually my life, it’s a pretty damn good life, and if you want to read about something more important than lamps (is there such a thing?) then they should go elsewhere. Thankyouverymuch.

6. I write things like “you should go elsewhere thankyouverymuch”.


  1. i just had this realisation on monday night…when i said these words…to my husbie and my (younger) trendy friend. “i don’t think i can snowboard this year, it is too hard on my knees”. needless to say, they both found it hilarious and the source of much laughing…mainly at me, NOT with me. but i stick to it, my knees just ain’t what they used to be – and can certainly not stand up to five days of mostly falling over! p.s. LOVE your lamp.

  2. Haha!! Lamps are it! So glad you’re doing a follow up post on THE LAMP!! Thoroughly hilarious.

  3. I find myself turning into my mother all the time… It’s sometimes scary, but also comforting.
    “The Lamp” post totes needs a follow up. Anon can shove it.
    You do have a fab life… And you should always embrace your inner Vanilla Ice. 🙂 xx

  4. I say come to Adelaide.. It’s the place to be this weekend.

  5. This is so funny! Happy birthday to your period xxx

  6. Think of your self as wine! Older is infinitely better.

    I happen to really enjoy your household posts, although I often ponder how long it takes you to tidy the kids area before taking the pictures ;P

  7. You crack me up. We went to Bondi on a Sunday the other day, and realised that we were no longer part of the hip crowd. The fact that I am calling it the hip crowd shows how old I am. Anyway, my point is I hear you!

  8. To the extreme, I rocka mike like a vandal, light up the stage ….

  9. Moi thinks anon is suffereing a terrible case of ‘pot calling kettle black’. Go get a life anon and stop writing negative feedback on peeps blogs who can write whatever the fark they want to because it’s their blog and no-one said you had to read it – so there!!

    XX Kirsty

    Using the expression ‘Pot/kettle/black’ shows that I am old. Then saying ‘so there’ and poking my tongue out at computer while doing so drags me right back to the immature wannabe grownup I really am!!!!

  10. Anonymous says

    I love lamps…love the one you recently brought!!! I say more posts please!!! Georgia

  11. haha potted colour. and vanilla ice. you rock.

  12. Love, love, LOVE this post you funny old duck :o)
    Scariest thing I’m facing is I’m turning into my Mama AND father… I find myself blurting out his sayings to the boys all the time… Geezus!
    I don’t think I commented on the lamp post (that is the post you wrote about the lamp)… but I loved that lamp… fab colours! xo

  13. I don’t think I’ve ever known the words to Ice Ice Baby. Something about chumps and candles? Oh, I don’t know. Whatever. I love lamps. And you just made me count and realise I’ve had my period for 25 years *gulp*

  14. Damn, now I’m feeling old. 23 years for me.

    Can’t wait to see the new lamp.

  15. Youre so funny … I laughed so much my hubbie had to read this post to see what made me giggle.
    Thank you!

  16. Having met and being a big fan of your Mum – I think you’ll be right 😛 xxx

  17. I love ‘Ice Ice Baby’ something sick. As much as I love Young MC’s ‘Bust a move’.

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