The wooze

There have been several times this week when I have been struck down by a wave of wooze {and before you ask, no I am not pregnant. You have to have sex to get pregnant…der!}. You know the kind that makes you feel sick, instantly, and takes a little while to get rid of? No? Here, let me explain.

Exhibit A: Bondi Rescue
I very rarely watch regular free to air TV because the Austar gets me suckered into another show about packing up and moving to the country {or something} and the regular channels are something ridiculous like channel 008 for Channel 9 and who can remember that? Not me. 118 for the Food channel is about all I need. But somehow on Sunday night I found Roberto flicking over to Bondi Rescue. And before I knew it there was this dead man being pulled out of the surf and it was so terrible and awful that I couldn’t stop watching. And then I had to see what happened because surely they don’t just show a guy dying and leave it at that do they? So, I had to watch on. And it was OK because he did survive. But he was dead. And it was awful to watch. I hate watching CPR and the like and the overriding wooze from witnessing it took 2 full episodes of Kendra or Jerseylicious to make me feel normal again. Surely a warning is required no?

Exhibit B: Smh online
Yesterday I scanned the smh online like I do several times a day and read about human remains that were found scattered across the F3. Earlier in the day I had pondered to what state the remains were in when I first heard about the story, but this later one clarified it for me. A poor person hit and then…well…I can’t even write about it. Horrific. In fact, the wooze has just returned to me.

Exhibit C: Wiggle and Learn
Harper is into the Wiggles. Really into. And I am mostly OK with that. I mean it gives me some time to put washing on, or go to the bathroom so I’ll give the boys credit where credit is due. But. BUT I had to endure the most ridiculous scene when I happened to be sitting with Harps and it was so bad it made me want to poke my eyes out. It involved a game of pin the sword on the Captain {which sounds a little saucy to me} but they were all so stupidly over the top and when I had to watch Jeff wiggle his eyebrows up and down and up and down and giggle while saying “This is fun Sam!” that the wooze hit me. Again. Stupid Wiggles.

Exhibit D: Chocolate cake

Whilst she might look innocent enough, this bad boy has been sitting on my kitchen counter all week staring at me. Willing me to eat it. I {stupidly} made it at the start of the week because I figured Daise could trot it out to school for little lunch and we had some peeps over for morning tea earlier in the week and yet it mostly remains uneaten. Daisy won’t take it to school {mental case} so there it sits. And when I may or may not have eaten some the guilty wooze has taken over. There may or may not be a wedding in 3 weeks time that I may or may not have to look fabulous at and this most definitely stop me from looking like the maid I was born to be. When will I focus?!


  1. Bondi Rescue is great isn’t it. But scary, so many people go into the water and have no idea how to swim.

    That story about the F3 on SMH really irked me. Imagine being the guy who ran over the “remains” on the road. Shudders.

    I am a bag of emotion lately so I cry over anything. I cried watching “Up” last night with Abi.

    I cry watching toilet paper ads with cute dogs. The preg hormones are OUT OF CONTROL!


  2. When you mentioned “the wooze” I thought you might be referring to the strange lurgy that I have had this week, stomach cramps and vaugue nausea with an upset tummy. Enough said. Its not like me to come down with these kind of illnesses, I have what has been described as a cast iron stomach, nothing can make me nauseous. Anyway, I still feel icky but the side effect has been some nice numbers on the scale. Sorry! But I wouldn’t recommend it as a prewedding-bridesmaid-dress diet!

  3. Throw the cake in the bin. Nothing tastes as good as feeling and looking hot at the wedding!

  4. exhibit b: ew!
    exhibit d: In the bin, something gross poured on top {just to be really sure!} and baking ban for three weeks… you will be ah-mazing at the wedding, and then you can come home and bake and eat to celebrate!!

  5. I love the bountiful bowls of fruit surrounding the cake, saying “PICK ME! PICK ME!”

    And I love your use of the word “der.”

    You will look beautiful at the wedding. You will.

  6. Oh I hear you sister, and I keep thinking “Holly, you are going to become a nurse. If you can’t handle seeing it on TV then how are you going to cope with it happening before your eye?” Uh ohhhhh!

  7. That highway story has kept me feeling woogzy for 24 hours now…

  8. I’m sorry you’re not getting any right now. That’s woozey. x

  9. Haha, before I’d even had a chance to read it, I was thinking you were about to announce you’re preggers! Oh I am so with you on the wooze factor. I am particularly wimpy when it comes to anything remotely gruesome involving the human body, ergh!
    Funnily enough Bondi Rescue can have that same effect on me also, something about it being too real I think.
    Send the chocolate cake my way, it looks delish!

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