Here comes the sun

One of the best bits about the weekend that just passed {which we know was pretty good} was spending some time with my older sister who had come up from Melbourne for the big occasion. It was extra special to have her there – all the girls in my family all together – sharing such a memorable time together.

My older sister has always been to an extent a little further apart from my younger sister and I. In age certainly {there are 5 years exactly between the 3 of us, so 10 between the oldest & youngest} and more than that she always just seemed a little further from the rest of us. She was in her room, or when she was older she moved down to Melbourne and started her life down there. She came back through the years but always seemed more comfortable on her own. In her own company. And why wouldn’t she? Her company is quite spectacular. She is without a doubt, one of the most driven people you will meet. She is successful, at almost anything she sets her mind at {perhaps only lacking in the baking department}. She is smart. Creative beyond anywhere I could ever be and funny. Really. I don’t think she thinks so, but she is. How can you not be when you are part of our family? She is giving. She is caring. She is forgiving. She is something else.

She was ‘blessed’ with twins just over 5 years ago now. She already had a daughter who was 2 and was back at work 5 days a week {going to the gym 3 times a week} when she became pregnant. When the boys came she became a full time mother and has been at home, working here and there when she can, but mostly {stuck} looking after the twins and her daughter down there in Melbourne. Honestly, I don’t know how she has done it. And believe me, I have no doubts it almost killed her. Being a Mum is hard. Just have a read here about my pity parties every now and then to know how true that is. Being a Mum to twins must be even harder. Being a Mum with twins with all your immediate family in another state with a husband who travels a lot must be even harder again. Through the years I have watched my sister through the hardest, darkest days I hope she ever sees. Loneliness. Tantrums. Children. Mess. Fights. Mess. Tantrums. The lot. With each visit {which were always too far apart} you could see a shadow of the girl who was my sister. The sparkle. The laugh. Kids do that to you. Sure, there’s all the good stuff, but then there’s all the rest. The sucking the very life out of you rest. At Christmas time she was at her wits end. Kids that were on holidays before starting school, still a month ahead of her time with them and I’m sure seeing all the rest of us joking together, spending time together only rubbed the salt on her wounds. She was there. But not really. I sat back. I watched. I tried to help. I wished for her. I cried for her.

And then.

On the weekend this woman arrived on my doorstep, not 3 months later who was a shadow of that woman. That Christmas woman. She was almost 10 kilos lighter. She laughed. And laughed. And laughed. She looked fabulous. Wore great clothes. Was the girl I remembered from 5 years ago. And she was so good to be around. It was like catching up with one of your old friends from years ago that you  could just pick up from where you last left off. Who knew kids starting school could be such a good thing. She has space. Head space more than anything. She is a more caring mother. Loving. I believe she even bakes freaking baked goods for lunchboxes. What a transformation! It was the highlight of the weekend for me.

When you start this whole motherhood gig you never know what lays before you. The challenges, the joys, the frustrations and sadness. Sure we give up some things {sanity maybe} and no doubts that we get much more back each and every day. It’s a strange thing seeing one sister now through the thick of the little kid trenches. Of course there will be more challenges ahead, but there is a certain something about the 0-5 time that is so incredibly hard isn’t there? Exhausting. Frustrating. Mind numbing. And then seeing my younger sister about to embark on married life and {hopefully} a family in the not too distant future. And all that lays before her. And then me, somewhere in between. Just like how we were growing up – all doing our own things at our own ages/stages. Some things never change. No matter how old we get. And isn’t that just as well?


  1. What a beautiful, beautiful post.

    I remember when you spoke of your sister, your voice was tinged with concern. It’s lovely to hear she’s come out the other side glowing.

    These years are bloody hard and the way you have described it is exactly the way it’s been for me. Damn. Hard. Work. But there is light at the end of the tunnel.

    I know parents say the school age is just as hard (or sometimes harder) but parents of school-aged kids don’t have that crazed look that often haunts parents of younger ones.

  2. Anonymous says

    Older sister, younger sister. Older sister, younger sister.
    Older sister, younger sister.
    La di la la.

  3. Oh girl you had my crying so early in the morning …..She should be soooooooooo touched by this post can’t wait to see this girl in the flesh next week xoxox

  4. The 0-5yr fog is hard. It is what will be deciding factor in me having a third or not. I love my 2kids, but miss the old me… I want to enjoy this special time while they are young, but is hard without the old me.

  5. Beth I loved this post. So glad to hear she’s come out the other end xx

  6. This post is very touching as I am distant from both my sisters by both geography, and more. How beautiful you are to both your sisters.

  7. anonymous… KNOW how special you are!!!!

  8. beautiful post beth.

  9. I would rate this last week as up there with the hardest I’ve had as a mama… even taking into account all the newborn/mastitis hideousness.
    I could relate to your story about your big sis so well lady. I bet she enjoyed reading this and appreciates how much thought and time you put into the post. Lovely sister you are :o)

  10. One of my new favourite posts from the blogosphere Beth. Absolutely beautiful and inspiring. x

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