The writing on the wall

There is a famous story in my family that has been told many, many times about me. In fact, I think that my Dad even told the story at my wedding. I think my parents think it just about sums me up. The 3 year old Beth who is still that little girl, always saying the wrong things at the wrong time, pushing the boundaries, making people giggle.

Anyway, for those who haven’t heard it (sorry to those who have) my Mum and Dad had an old family friend (who incidentally was a priest) over for lunch. We were all sitting around the dining table, asked to join in conversation over a meal. 3 year old Beth sat there for some time listening to it all quietly before I said “This is boooooring. Let’s talk about something more interesting” whereby the priest asked “what should we talk about Beth?” “SEX” I replied. Yep. I think my Mum may have choked on her steak Diane and glass o’ Moselle! Sure I had no idea what I was actually talking about, but I knew that the word would certainly get a reaction out of everyone, and indeed stop the boring conversation, and if I could embarrass my Mum in the process? Even better!
So it is no surprise to me that when we were up at the farm a week or so ago now that my own three year old daughter would be welcomed into the controversial world of grown up kids. As you know we were away with some older cousins – 6 and almost 5 – and Daisy absolutely thrived being around them. Ever since we have been home she has been talking about them, we even had to purchase a dressing gown like them – and many, many mentions of how she is now a “big girl too”.
Anyway, Rob walked into the bath that there all sharing to see this written on the wall with the foam letters & number toys in the bath:

I think the conversation then went something like this:

Rob: That’s an interesting word O
O: Yes. It’s sex
Rob: Oh right
O: Yes Rob. You put your penis in Beth’s vagina
Rob: Um OK. Let’s get out of the bath!
He quickly came out to tell us the story which had O’s Mum and I and the rest of us in HYSTERICS. Jeepers! JEEPERS! Poor Daise looked quite confused about the whole thing – she knows exactly what a penis and a vagina is (we are not fans of the funny words for body parts) so I think she learnt a little too much about things. These memories right here, with older kids and cousins and hanging out are what I remember most about my childhood, and I am amazed that I get to watch this happen all over again, through the eyes of a (far more innocent than me) 3 year old.
Thank goodness for inappropriate children comments!


  1. I have had tears pouring down my face as I read this out to my husband! Very very funny, and so ‘matter of fact’ about it!

  2. AM DYING!

    I am totally repressed and we call all various parts “girl bits” and “boy bits” though for some reason I have fewer qualms about saying “penis”and now the kids run around calling them “peanuts” so it’s all getting very misguided and maybe you could ship O over here to set us all straight?

  3. Ahahahah great story.

    Can I come to the farm next time with you? I want to hear more stories from the kids 😉


  4. I needed a good giggle to start my day! Thanks

  5. That’s hilarious! I hope you’re storing that one away for her 21st :o)

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