Strange days Indeed, most peculiar Mama

I’ve been wanting to write a blog post for the past week, but to be honest I haven’t had the time or the motivation to do so. Man, what a time we are living in right now. It’s important to journal and record these times so instead of mindlessly scrolling Instagram and obsessively checking the news for more (bad) updates, this morning I have forced myself to down load and edit some photos, open the laptop and get writing.

While the world outside looks much the same as it always does at the end of March, the days getting shorter and a little cooler, colours of autumn all around the village, life as we know it has changed. So much. We’ve got the kids at home full time now and they have not left the house in well over a week. Not once (well only to walk around the block or get outside in the garden). Rob and I take turns heading out to grab supplies when we need them and we are trying to order in as much as we can. The girls are learning from home for now with strict guidelines and lessons from their wonderful teachers. It has amazed me how quickly they have adapted to that change and are thriving with it – although missing their friends at school and the social side of playing. Maggie in particular missing her cousins who she usually spends so much time with.

It’s been a hell of an adjustment to having us all home together, all the time. Especially when I need to try and keep as much work going as I can (while I can). Rob’s work has pretty much stopped – anyone in any creative industry has come to a stand still, and that SUCKS. Big time. My paid work on the blog has all stopped, so I am doing all I can to keep things ticking over with the shop.

It’s been hard to work out our new roles, our times with the kids, teaching kids (which I have NO experience or skill in whatsoever) as well as keeping calm about what is happening in the world, washing and feeding people more than ever, fuck it’s been a huge adjustment for so many. I have had the odd tantrum this week – but letting myself go with the flow and try not to get too overwhelmed by everything that is happening. One hour, one day and week at a time.

I am so grateful for where we live, the space and the beauty that surrounds us, the peace and the quiet. SO grateful.

I’m also so sad about everything that is going on. The loss of life and the fear and worry about what is to come for us all here in Australia. The frustration that people are not taking it seriously and the feeling of educating people and making them feel happy, or giving them useful skills or recipes through my social media. It’s overwhelming, all of it and I still need to work on only keeping snippets of that as part of my day, too mjuch and it makes me feel physically sick.

I’m sad about our party that we had to postpone (scared for the magnitude of it at the other end when we are safe to be together). I am sad that we can no longer had to the farm for Easter and spend time with Sue who has been on her own and lonely and sad since Alan died. Mentally for me, and I know for the girls, it was reward for us to get to April and say “we made it!” we did it and got through 3 months and here we are and it’s sad, but this is our new normal and we can still be together. I wanted to cook and nurture Sue who probably hasn’t looked after herself as much as she should. I wanted so much for that time, and now we no longer have it. It’s small in the scheme of things, but it’s still been something I have been coming to terms with this week.

I am so sad that I can’t see my own Mum even though we are all more connected that we ever have been before with technology like Face time, Zoom conferences, House Party apps – I have seen more of my siblings and family in the past week than I have in the past year and that’s a great thing. I hope we can keep as many people we love safe while we can, it is so important for us all to do this and that’s what I keep in mind every time I start to feel too sad about it.

So for now, that’s where I am at. Angry, sad, overwhelmed, a bit woozy, frustrated, tired, grateful, connected, disconnected all in the space of 5 minutes. It’s the strangest time I have ever known, and I am not sure we will ever be the same again.

For me, because there is so much we cannot control right now: people taking social distancing seriously, the actions of those people, predicting what will happen, anger at our government, how long this will go for, how other people are reacting to the crisis, we have to let go of that. It’s not productive or helpful we can only control our attitude, out intake of media and news coverage, showing kindness and care where we can and making the most of this unexpected slower pace of life and time at home.

It’s not easy and I still need to work on it A LOT, but I’m trying. One washing basket and tantrum at a time. And in the meantime, I will try and share as much as what we have been doing. It helps to feel connected and not alone when things are scary I think. I also have a highlight in my Instagram stories called Corona Time with some ideas of things to do with kids, or just nice things to calm us down when we feel overwhelmed. My garden and weather highlights are also a place of calm for me too.

Hope you are doing Ok to?
How are you?
How are YOU feeling?

Lots of love from my home to you at yours, be safe, be well, be kind, be cool.

Comments

  1. Dearest Beth,
    Oh how parts of your story resonates with me but I too am trying to just pace myself through each day.
    We are a little bit more “advanced ” with things here in The UK , we’re under lockdown down more or less with restricted movement as our fatality rate is soaring unfortunately.
    Life has taken on a surreal quality, as you have said so many things are indeed as they always have been,Spring is here,flowers are growing,blossom on the trees,everything emerging from the carapace of Winter and yet…..
    I’m so very worried over our son and his little family in Perth who seem to think everyone is over reacting as indeed so does his partner’s parents?? When will they finally realise that it’s incredibly serious..His MIL actually said “I’ll stop going out when one of us becomes ill” can you believe that?
    I like to convince myself it’s fear that’s making themselves behave this way, terrified of the unknown and uncertainty of it all,but who knows?
    I must admit though there are some positives;

    Not wearing a bra for most of the day is a highlight!
    The house is absolutely spotless I’m cleaning like a demon.
    Cooking more…yes and eating more??!
    Learning to be more tech savvy
    Painting and drawing again after so many years.
    Gardening for hours at a time.
    Reading
    And realising that after being with Ray for 42yrs, there’s no one else I would want to spend this self isolation time with.

    Keep safe ,well and sane my lovely.
    Wishing you and your family nothing but good things.

    • Thanks Debs, I think the message is FINALLY starting to get through – my god how dumb can some people be? Stay well and safe x

  2. Strange times indeed.
    All the feelings, all the time.
    I’m so sorry that your Easter caring and nurturing time has been taken from you.
    Thank you for continuing to share as much as you do, feeling connected to others is so important even people we’ve never met and probably never will.

    keep smiling, loving and having tantrums
    cheers Kate

  3. Not sure what our last week at work will be like. We still have students coming in for exams and necessary supervision but otherwise they’ll be home and we’ll start working out the plan for next term. I’m a bit sad I didn’t get to see my classes to say ‘see you later’. Lots of them stopped coming two weeks ago. It is odd to be around so many people each day when the public gathering limits keep decreasing. Sending lots of love to you!

  4. I work in an “essential” industry, so it’s business as usual for me. My husband lives/works in another city M-F so he is working from his unit and won’t be home for the foreseeable future. My son is a stockman at Big W, so there is the concern of him coming into contact with the virus because people WON’T STAY HOME, and bringing it home here. On the plus side, my daughter is in Yr 12 and is very self-motivated even before this crisis, so she is doing just fine with distance-learning. And I am very grateful for that because I have NO IDEA about her lessons and am absolutely no help…. big shout out to all the teachers who are conducting online lessons and generally keeping in touch with all their students! I feel for all the parents of younger students who are now having to help them with their lessons.

  5. Hi. It certainly is a scary time but I know we will all be ok. We are doing well, but it is hard, hard to not see your kids or grandchild, but we are also very lucky. We have a home, all our family are well and safe, our business is still going, not as much work, but it is still there, for now. The biggest thing I struggle with at the moment are the people that just won’t do as they are asked. The sooner we all stay home, as much as we can, the sooner this nightmare will be over or at least settle down. I am nobody, but even I can see that. They said on the news last night that over the last few days, because people are starting to listen it is getting better, not much, but it is improving. If we didn’t have the cruise ships come in we would be doing better. Thank you for continuing to brighten our days with your take on life with your beautiful family. It will be ok.x

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