I’ve started to notice something about me in the last say, 12 months or so which I spent some time pondering over the new year period and have been re-visiting over the last few days.
I am a hard worker. Always have been, and I suppose always will be. As Maggie said to me yesterday “So many jobs Mummy!” with an eyeroll, and she’s right. There’s ALWAYS something to do, and you will ALWAYS find me doing them. Even if there isn’t something to do, I will find something! I have been like this ever since I was a little girl, got my first job when I was about 14 in my Mum’s cafe and have spent pretty much my whole life since then being a worker bee. I take pride in being able to work, being successful and working hard. It’s how I tick, it’s how I equate value in what I do (not always a good thing) and it makes me feel good about myself. Although at times – to my own detriment as I often work myself to the ground to make myself feel “valued” and that I am “doing something”.
As you know, I work on my blog, and have somehow managed to turn it into a successful career for myself. I am eternally grateful that I get to work creatively, passionately and in fun and interesting ways from my own home. How good is that? The answer to that is BLOODY OATH! It’s hard going though, the hustle, the hungriness of the beast, the demands of clients, the having to adapt and change to a landscape that shifts A LOT so one moment you think you are nailing it, to only have the whole thing change and now you have to tap dance AND be a professional this or that while still doing the one thing you loved and started in the first place: to write and share from the heart. It’s full on.
I constantly set myself goals and have noticed that when I achieve them, I find myself not really allowing myself to bask in that glory before moving onto the next big thing.
Why is that?
Setting goals and working hard to achieve them is important to me (it may be to you too) but when did I/we stop acknowledging them when we achieve them? Why do we have to move on so quickly to the next thing?
I achieved some BIG things professionally late last year. Things I had been working towards for a long time, things that if you told me a couple of years ago that I did, I would have lost my shit. And for some reason I was all like. Great, yes. Next!
I don’t think I am alone with this either. Whether it’s work related, or personal or to do with your relationship or family I think we so often set goals or dreams and then when they are achieved we never stop to pay ourselves on the back. We worked hard for them, why not stop and smell the roses? For a little time at least?
So today I wanted you to stop and think about something that you have recently achieved. Maybe it was a personal thing like trying to learn something new (education, maybe an instrument, maybe a language) maybe it was health related (eating better, stopping drinking, being fitter or learning to run, or going to gym) maybe it was family related (getting your toddler into a big bed, or toilet trained, or off their bottles or dummies, helping an older kid through a learning difficulty) whatever it was, did you stop and pay yourself on the back, or think about the next thing that you needed to do now that was done?
For me, I’d like to stop the ride and hop off for a moment. I want to step back and look at where I am and for just a moment, give myself a high five. Is it because we think we will sound like a tosser basking in our glory? Is it the Australian tall poppy syndrome? Is it a female thing knowing that others judgement is not worth it, so just get on with it?
Whatever it is, just for today shall we stop and toot that horn?
Why not! We worked hard, why not stop and acknowledge that.
I’ll start.
I work hard in a competitive and often lonely industry creating content and work that is professional, useful and enjoyable for others. I have achieved longevity and consistency in an ever changing market. I have recently hit some long term goals that I am bloody proud of while looking after 3 kids (one being a toddler) on uninterrupted sleep every bloody night and financially supporting our family.
That’s something.
What about you? What have you achieved that you are proud of?
A new job?
Surviving life with babies and toddlers?
Losing that weight? Or becoming fitter or stronger?
Walking away from a toxic relationship or friendship?
Making new friends or learning something new?
Whatever it is, share it. Write it down and think about how you were before you started to work on that goal. You did it! Stop and congratulate yourself because I doubt anyone else will.
I’m saying well done to you. And me. Just for a day, tomorrow we can get on with it.
So come on, tell me everything.
And well bloody done x
I’ve been fighting a medical condition and can’t stand not going to work (because you know they will realise they don’t need me and I’ll lose my job – whatever!!!) but today I put myself first and stayed home, delegated out the big stuff and managed the smaller stuff from home and home will be my office until I get this shit sorted out. Appointment with surgeon on Monday… sounds like such a minor thing when people take sick leave without thinking about it but I just can’t, I’m not programmed that way and I know its bad to think that way but I can’t help it.
I went through a similar medical issue and say hats off to you, bless you, and good luck and good health.
Oh Deb – hope you can get it all sorted soon. I know that guilt but sometimes you have to put your health first…so important. Good luck!
Well done, you!
I survived my pregnancy and I survived the delivery of my beautiful baby girl. I am taking the time to drink in this amazing newborn phase. I am proud of myself for being in a much more peaceful and confident space than I was when I had my son (now 6). I’ll definitely be thrown my curve balls (because baby) but right now I’m celebrating. The last 3 years have been FULL ON. Infertility, IVF, a less than glowing pregnancy. This is my time 😊
Wonderful news Kez! Congrats x
Hi Beth thanks for this post. I see you are a hard worker and I admire that so much. It is great your girls get to see you work hard and see that you have a great work ethic. I wish I had more of that. You are a great role model and I have always looked to your blog and see what your are up to.
I am a scientist (zoologist and palaeontologist) but my research work is very specific. I was teaching at uni last year casually but I find it hard to get a real paid job. It is very competitive industry. I have published two papers last year and one about to be published in the next few days. So that is what I am proud of. I also am going to go for my driving test in the next month, my goal: as i do not drive here in Sydney and get nerfous 🙂 driving here. I would love to have a stable part time job this year and keep publishing and be there for my kids. In January I also started the 5:2 diet and it is working for me. Are you still doing that? I hope 2018 is a positive year and we get a lot of things done! I admire working mums and mums who juggle but remain calm and are present with their kids. What I aim for this year!!! thanks!
You should be proud of your publications for sure! Trying to get back into the fasting…it’s been a while though!
My biggest problem (that would I call an accomplishment? I don’t know.) was helping our devastated son through an agonizing separation from his wife of 12 years (but together for 16). We love both of them dearly, and now we have to give one up and console the other.
This was a not-nasty, friendly separation. They still love each other but have grown apart. I am keeping my head above water balancing the love of two people. I think I’m doing it well and patting myself if I don’t think about losing one of my best friends while comforting one of my soul mates. Sigh.
Oh Cyndy that sounds complex and tricky and sad and lots more other things. Make sure you look after YOU in all this too x
I just wrote an invoice for my first ever freelance graphic design job, after being a stay at home mum and student for the past 11 years and 2 years respectively! It’s not about the money. I feel good to be able to say that I work. There’s always been a part of me that felt people looked down on me because I chose to stay home and look after my kids and not go back to work.
And well done to you Beth! I’m not sure how you do all you do with working, 3 kids, a husband and a dog! This stuff is hard!
What a feeling that is – I know it well! May it be the first of many – well done Renee!
Surviving several operations to *fix* a badly shattered arm in a horrific car accident ( another surgery next week) whilst breastfeeding my beautiful son and meeting his needs with an unsupportive husband pulling me down. Having the strength to say enough to years of not feeling loved/ cared for through such hard times and recently separating from said husband of a decade in an attempt to make room for the light to come back into my life.
Having the guts to stand up to ‘friends’ who clearly don’t care about me the way I have cared for them for the past 20 plus years and feeling so much lighter for it.
I too am a hard worker. Have been since I was 13 and after going to Uni as a mature age student, I threw myself entirely into teaching in a tough area (socioeconomically wise). I went above and beyond every single day with the singular goal of gaining a permanent position. I unfortunately (hate that word!) missed out due to the timing of position vacancies and my injury/surgeries. I also lost my temporary position due to my extensive injuries. I have grieved this loss for a year and just yesterday I had my first interview for teaching in a private school starting after I recover from surgery next week.
I feel like a new me is coming out of the old me. And I am excited!
You are right Beth, we do need to take the time to acknowledge and celebrate whatever we see as a win in our lives. Cause who else will do it for us?
Sounds like you deserve a bloody medal for all that Katie. Good on you for putting yourself and your happiness first. You WILL be rewarded for that. Even if it seems not now…it will come I am sure of it. All the best!
No medical issues here, just trying to pave my way and earn a living….spent weeks/months getting ready for a festival that is huge down here in my home town Festival Of Sails run by the Geelong Royal Yacht club…..then spent a fortune on securing a 3 x3 metre spot and then some on hiring a marquee (not ever having done outdoor events before) only to be let down by the organisers who had failed to promote the entire festival….promoted the sailing side but not the festivity side after taking our money…..
Oh Lynne that sounds disappointing. Sorry to hear.
Opening up my veggie garden for an open garden weekend in January. Getting it ready with five children at home over the holidays and two 40 degree days before the opening. I hadn’t ever done something like this before and it felt ABSOULUTELY WONDERFUL after a gut busting effort. I love being busy too, not to be confused with rushed. X
You are AMAZING. Dead set.
Had a shoulder replacement which I’ve put off for 2 years. Toot Toot!!
Good on you! Hope that it’s everything you hoped it would be…and pain free of course!
After nine years of being an indie author, as well as raising a young family, I finally signed with a top literary agent. My hope is we can advance my new manuscripts into the hands of some great Australian publishers. It’s only the beginning but I’m so darned proud I stuck at it.
Well done!!!!
AMAZING Julie!! How exciting.
Last year I changed jobs and have moved into an entirely different Industry and just love it. Every day I feel energised and engaged and am learning new things all the time from wonderful collegues and the work itself. I’m 52 and the kids are all adults now so this is a happy phase of my life. I did have to deal with some health issues too and have 2 minor ops so hope all that is sorted!
Linda I can hear your happiness – good for you!
In the past year I separated from my husband, raised my three kids (all under 5 y.o) by myself, started a full time Bachelor of Psychology degree and continued to run my online business. It is good to sit back and reflect on your achievements every so often. I just love being busy, so long as I’ve got time for a vino or two of an evening… all is well in the world!
Huge year for you Naomi – well done! Wine sounds very deserved x
I have survived 19 miscarriages.
Some early (4wks), some is bit later (12 wks), some even later (18 weeks). I lost 4L of blood after one delivery and came close to death.
We are still trying. I’m not ready to give up.
It’s been a hard road and I’m proud that I’m managing my emotions and my husband and I are still together and not blaming each other.
I am so sorry to read this and hear of all your loss – too much for anyone to have to cope with. Good luck with the rest of your journey x