Being scared and doing the brave stuff

This morning the sun rose, and a new day in Autumn 2016 began.

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Like me, it was most likely the same as the one that came before. It required immediate caffeination, instant demands from small people and routine: news reading, milk made for the baby, dog out for a wee, coffee machine on, breakfast made, beds made, baby down, on it goes.

Days start and they end and in between is life. Beautiful messy, busy, mundane, glorious life.

There’s been some days in my life where I’ve woken up, just like the day before, and said no. Not anymore. Not like this. No.

Just like *that*. There’s been big relationship break ups, there’s been jobs resigned from, houses sold, lives moved. New beginnings made. And while it’s scary and unknown and risky and challenging and a million other things, boy do you feel alive when you have one of those days.

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I’ve had some friends and relatives recently make some of these big decisions. Have one of these “not anymore” days and it’s been exciting to see them make the move, helping them talk through all the pros and cons and eventually taking that leap of faith. Where you begin to really live.

I think the not knowing about what’s going to happen, while scary, is where some of the real magic in life happens. When you are truly out of your comfort zone, where you have to put yourself out there, take risks, maybe make a fool of yourself, maybe start the best thing you ever did. Sure it’s scary, but aren’t all the best  parts of life a little like that?

As I said to my sister recently when she was going through some huge life changes, we never really know how marriage, or kids are going to work out do we? We blindly throw ourselves into it with hope and passion and love and an open mind and “usually” we find that while hard, it’s the very best thing to do. Same with moving houses, or states or countries, or jobs or marriages we won’t know what will happen, but the adventure of figuring it out can be the best part of life. Adrenalin, not knowing, being scared, all of these things push us to try harder, think smarter, think differently about things, and you end up somewhere you never even realised you needed to be.

I’ve been feeling a little too comfortable lately. You know that little niggle, somewhere in the corner, that starts? There’s a niggle. I don’t know what it is, but it’s something telling me to stop being so comfortable. Excuses of babies and all that are almost getting a little long in the tooth now. It’s time for something new to start…time to take some risks and start pushing myself a little further. I love that feeling of listening, deep down to what YOU are really thinking. It could be the seed of an idea for a business, that keeps coming up, the idea of a trip that sparked on Instagram one night….that feeling of…what IF. Can you feel that spark? Most of the time it gets pushed away, ignored, added to the very bottom of your #onething list because isn’t 16. CHANGE YOUR LIFE a little too overwhelming and big to even start to work on?

I don’t have all the answers on what to do, how to make big changes and how to be happy in life. Wouldn’t it be great if I did?! I really am happy though and I know that one of the reasons for this, is because I have TRULY listened to my heart at times when I have been less than sure. I have not settled for “this will do” I have listened to sparks, listened to my gut and taken some big risks of not knowing because the “not like this anymore” outweighed the what if’s.

I remember at my wedding I spoke at length (give me a microphone and TRY to stop me) about all the people I wanted to thank and how important they were to me. Lastly, I stopped and thanked myself, which might sound weird, but I thanked myself for taking a chance and recognising that I might deserve more. That not settling, and taking risks of being alone were well worth it rather than just settling for a this will do.

Those scary leaps can take you to places you never imagined. To see things you never could have believed you would see.

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To experience challenges and rewards and love and happiness and fear…all the things that make us LIVE. That make us alive. They are the things that you will remember when you look back on your life. The bits where you pushed yourself and made some changes and got uncomfortable, it’s so important to be uncomfortable, I swear it’s where the magic happens.

So I’m going to listen to that niggle, start to open up to possibilities and work challenges and get a little out of my comfort zone…who knows where it will lead me…

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Have you pushed yourself and made some big life changes?

Got a little niggle?
A million what if’s you can’t stop thinking about?
Good luck x

Comments

  1. How fitting that you write this as I’m right on the edge of starting something new that I’ve thought about for a long time that I was too scared to start. I’m still petrified and doubting myself and defending my decision but I hope that it all works out in the end and if not, then at least I know that I tried.

  2. Shazziebazzie says

    Yes! Leaving a major relationship, doing my Masters, moving overseas, leaving a soul sucking job. Most of which caused major stress but I just knew I needed to do them. And I can honestly say that these were the best things I have ever done.

  3. It’s an amazing thing to say yes to a choice that puts you in unknown territory. It’s not always popular or “sensible” but I think those choices are the reason I can look myself square in the face and embrace the person I see.
    Go for it Beth. You’ve got the two most important things you need – self-belief (though I bet sometimes it feels shaky as it does for everyone) and supportive people around you.

  4. Have to agree this was a very fitting thing to read for today. Our family is standing on a cliff edge at the moment that is gradually crumbling, trying to figure out if we hang on or if we have to make a heartbreaking choice & let go. What makes it harder is that the very people that should be supporting us in this are being about as useful as a chocolate teapot, which is what I will be telling them when they finally turn up on Wednesday for the meeting they cancelled today. Let’s just hope our end result, whatever it may be, turns out to be positive

  5. I LOVE this post Beth. When the time comes to meet our maker, how much nicer to have a head full of adventures (successful or otherwise) scrambling for top place in the memory bank rather than a bunch of what if or if only……..If you are fortunate enough to have the inner niggle, the voice, the gut feeling – listen to it! Not everyone does and they can live the happy, settled and content life they were meant to have but if that’s not you, it will undoubtedly lead to regret. Imagine if you have never started your blog……….

  6. We have some people in our circle that have made some HUGE life decisions and wow they are definitely taking a leap of faith, but like you say when we sign up for certain and people, often it doesn’t work out. I too can no longer use my young children as excuses, I have to take a leap soon – love this post xx

    • Good luck Em, a tough road indeed. My sister has just been through it all and 2 years down the track she’s a new person. It’s been a joy to see after so many years of unhappiness.

  7. Sam Leader says

    Liz Gilbert wrote a post on this very topic (of course she did!) The theme was: “Not this” It’s a very worthwhile read: https://www.facebook.com/GilbertLiz/posts/1004594839622631:0 Here’s an extract:

    The bravest thing to say can be these two words.
    What comes next?
    I don’t know. You don’t know. Nobody knows. It might be worse. It might be better. But whatever it is…? It’s NOT THIS.

  8. a great post beth!
    yes the magic happens! when we listen to our inner knowing, intuition, passion! … whatever it is that drives one to feel, this is right for me NOW!
    like going to art school in my forties! then leaving my marriage!
    going off travelling with new love of life, beau! all the best things I could have done for moi!
    anyone who has a strong niggling I say do it!
    whatever IT is! love m:)X

  9. 18 months ago, my husband a landscape gardener and I, a photographer bought a little run down but FAB pie shop on the Northern Beaches of Sydney…… Yes my husband became a baker and I became a barista! Its pushing us to new levels of hard work, but very much worth it, its a stepping stone to another fab idea that we cant get out of our head, our next big OMG jump in feet first type of idea, if you ever are in Sydney Beth and want one of the most amazing custard tarts on earth, come visit our store, the brooky pie Love this post of yours!

    • I LOVE hearing stories like this! You have yourself a deal…anyone that offers me custard tarts is a friend indeed! Well done on your adventure I wish you much happiness and success! x

  10. Lisa Mckenzie says

    Listen to your intuition and you will see what you need to do Beth Xx

  11. I like that you thanked yourself! Wish I had of thought of that.

  12. Yep, I know that niggly feeling all to well and I’m starting to listen to it…it’s amazing the things that can happen when you do!

  13. Thank you for writing this. My 13 year marriage has just collapsed this week after 3 months of agony and betrayal. I feel destroyed and don’t know how to tell my children.

    Your post makes me think that there might just be a better life around the corner sometime. Thank you.

    • Life will be terrifying for awhile but you will come out the other side xx

    • Oh I’m so sorry to hear that. Betrayal is the absolute worst. The worst. It will take some time, maybe lots of time, but I’m pretty sure that one day there will be a time when you are grateful this happened. There WILL be happiness and a better life for you…just you wait and see x

  14. Last week I decided to sell off and pack up my life to travel the world for a year or so. The scary part I will be 44 and taking my daughter out of high school. I am single so we will be two girls against the world!! I tell everyone I talk to about it because I am now thinking “what the hell have I done” and scared I will change my mind to stay home in my rut!!

    • Margaret that’s the BEST. You will have an amazing time – the both of you. School can wait and who cares what ANYONE says! Enjoy. I hope you start a blog to record all the memories x

  15. When I was young, free and single I was so good at this. Now I have three kids and am married I find this so hard. I know certain changes will be worth the risk but yet I find the decision so hard to make.

  16. So strange this popped up in my feed today. Just this morning I was scrolling through FB and saw an ad for a 12 month MBA. I’ve been wanting to leave my job for a while now but felt is didn’t have enough experience/need to juggle kids/excuse excuse.. And thought maybe this is what I need to do to give me the additional skills I get another job but thought it will be too much effort. It’s hard putting yourself first as a mother knowing it will mean initial sacrifices and hard work but your post has made me realize mabey it’s time to make the change. Thank you

  17. Anne Murray says

    Great post. My best friend and I have just started up a new business together and simultaneously exciting and overwhelming but we are determined to answer our niggle with a red hot go at it!

  18. I was literally homeless when I left my husband (well, a YMCA hostel was my home for a spell) but ultimately it was the best decision ever. It fundamentally changed me from the core; from how I deal with crises to dealing with anxiety. Jump, y’all.

  19. Oh I love this! I read a great article this week in the Huffington Post, about just this and forging your own path. I’ve learned that life is too short to have regrets and an unhappy situation will not change without change. I’ve moved hemispheres, left jobs and started studying again in my 40’s. I don’t know how all my decisions will eventually play out but whatever happens, I’ll be happy because I’ll have listened to my heart and be without ifs!

  20. I feel trapped by indecision. I want to move, but small town seems like such a big change, but everything here is so expensive that changes are a huge risk and financial undertaking that we can’t afford. Is it easier to make big changes in a small town where expenses seem to be more manageable? I just feel so sad because the walls seems to get harder to hurdle the more I wait.

  21. I am hearing you Betharoonie…. I have a niggle…. I will do something one day… I will!!!! Yep, can’t stop thinking about it. Baby steps.

  22. I think I’m a little addicted to the big leaps. I too get a little antsy when things are too comfortable.
    The best things I’ve done in my life are the things where I’ve had to close my eyes and just fling myself in the deep end.
    Moving to a brand-new city (in our home country) after living overseas for almost 4 years has been another of those moments. At the moment, I’m living in a city where I literally know one other person (besides my little family), I’m trying to start a new career and I’ve never felt so alive (and scared). The magic really does happen when who make yourself a little uncomfortable.

    After a health scare last year, I realised you never know what’s going to happen (no matter how hard you plan for it), so make sure you’re living the best life and grab every opportunity with gusto!

  23. I’m about to change everything – car, home, state, business, family size. Fingers crossed it all ends well.

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