Calm & Relaxed

I’m at the stage of my pregnancy where I plan to do very little. The girls went back to school yesterday and so after I got back from my ob appointment, I spent the remainder of my day on the couch. Getting up only to wee and eat. It’s been some kind of teenage regression I must say. I have made a solid list based on this post and today was the day that I was going to tackle a part of it.

This morning we woke up to more of this:


And…we woke up to the sound of our toilets gurgling which means one thing: the septic tank was flooded. In fact, those sounds came in the night around 3am when the relentless rain and wind we have been experiencing since Monday morning got even harder. When we get that gurgling it means that we have to wait for the pump to take away the excess water. No toilet flushing, tap using, showering, dishwashing…the bath water still sits in there from last night…but we have power! And that’s something.

I looked out the window and saw that where the Guinea pig was (covered by the cubby house) was sitting in about 2 inches of water. Poor Rosie! I was thinking the worst, but after a run out rescue she used up another of her lives (I swear she is on about 17 by now) and had taken to high ground and was dry (ish). In she came to the fire, wrapped in blankets and even with a bloody hot water bottle. What? I am hormonal and maternal at the moment.


Of course in the process of moving her and ensuring she was OK I forgot that I am in fact quite allergic to the pig. Same as cats. I sneeze, get watery eyes and an itchy throat. And of course I forgot to wash my hands when I rubbed my eye…you get the picture. Donned a new jumper though and got compliments from all members of the family, even though Daisy said it made me look pregnant. DER.


Rob did the school run but told me I better get out soon as water was rising over the roads if I wanted to get to Bowral for my booked in pedicure and pregnancy pick me up. You know how they have been saying only travel if you have to? Well I HAD TO. Preggers pedicure and pick me up! No questions asked. I held onto that wee given that we couldn’t flush and hit the roads. Sneezing every 34 seconds as I went. Full bladder. You get the picture.

I got into town a little early so thought it best to stem the flow (of snot and light bladder leakage) with some complex carbohydrates and a skim FW. Flour Water Salt came through with the goods, I sat in the car in a crumbly mess devoured that freshly baked croissant with dijon mustard, swiss cheese and freshly shaved pig. Next stop? Toilet! And relaxation.


Got a park too far away so smelt a little like wet dog by the time I arrived. The jumper may look good, but wet wool is no ones friend. They offered me tea, but I had a half finished flat white to deal with, but it was getting cold by now, so I ended up not drinking any. Bugger! Should have had the tea. I was very focused on getting to a bathroom, quickly, and seeing the novelty of a flushing toilet as well as finding a tissue to deal with the guinea pig sneezels. I was however, starting to relax. Ish. How could you not with essential oils burning and low lights glowing?

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Got into the room and got into that bathroom toot sweet. Instantly felt better and the blood pressure started to drop as the minutes passed. I mean LOOK, game time. Time to focus.

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Got into my robe, got those feet washed and settled into the bed only with the occasional sniffle. Once the pedicure was over I was onto a facial and neck, head and shoulder massage with those delicious hot towels and masks and hot and cold creams. I had a mask over my eyes and whilst all was quiet on the outside, the inside sounded something like this:

OK Beth, relax.
Calm and relaxed.
Enjoy this, it will be over too soon.
Oooh the baby just kicked again.
Hope it stays on the right side like it was yesterday and doesn’t go posterior.
I hope I can relax.
Use this time to relax and practice your birth meditations.
Opening lotus flowers.
Breathing…10 in and 10 out.
I hope I don’t fart, or snore.
I keep waking myself up snoring on the couch while I’m just sitting there so don’t let it happen.
Oh man, don’t wee AND sneeze at the same time. Or fart. Don’t fart.
Enjoy the mask.
Oh man my nose is now blocked so I need to keep my mouth open.
I wonder if I look weird?
OK, opening lotus flowers.
Oh that feels nice.

And then I would awake with a jolt realising that I WAS snoring loudly. And it was over. Bugger.

It took a while to get back up off the table, and then get dressed, and then head back out into the rain. But now I’m home, a salami, mustard and cheese toastie and cup of tea under my belt, and now it’s almost time for school bloody pick up again. Not quite the day I had planned, but I’ll take it.

Anyone else spent over $150 lately to use a toilet and have a nap?
Does your internal voice sound like mine during meditations or massage?
Anyone else allergic to Guinea Pigs?


  1. No.. But we are about to buy a generator to keep our food from spoiling thanks to Central Coast & every bloody else storms & NO POWER… Still have flushing toot. Thank goodness. Like how well you relax .. Your mind is like mine in meditation! Stay well Beth! Xxx

  2. Guinea pigs, cats, horses and koalas.
    PS. I had a pregnancy massage in Malaysia. Woke myself up snoring. They were all so polite about it!

  3. Yes – guinea pigs!! Can’t get within 30 feet of them! Ridiculous!

  4. Lisa Mckenzie says

    Now you’ve got everything done,well after the girls get picked up…relax Beth enjoy what time you have left and I love that daisy said you look pregnant in your jumper!!

  5. Oh man. My internal monologue is off the charts when I’m at a day spa. OFF THE CHARTS. Same with meditation – although, if I practice (which I never do) I do get better at quietening it.
    Hope it did help though!
    Hope you got your toilet flush back quickly and that the weather has calmed a little by now! xo

  6. That’s so what my inner monologue sounds like when I’m trying to relax. Good on you taking the time for yourself. Jx

  7. it’s good for you beth!
    I was nearly meditating reading the dialogue!
    well part of it!
    … breathing in and breathing out, … just relax!
    love m:)X

  8. I am so allergic to dogs and horses. I haven’t tried guinea pigs but I probably would be allergic to them to. It is so annoying but even more annoying is when people look at you like you are an idiot when you tell them you are allergic to dogs. Dogs?? Really??
    Well at least you managed not to fart during the treatment, that’s a plus!
    I woke up snorting during relaxation in yoga the other night, if that makes you feel any better…

  9. I had a lovely facial at endota yesterday too. It is worth every cent. My stomach rumbles all the time and it is very loud in the quietness of the spa. Most embarrassing. I hope I didn’t snore as well!

  10. I love Endota but I always feel a facial is kind of wasted on me, because I always fall asleep too. I’m so stressed about not farting and/or snoring, that it’s almost impossible to relax. Hope the waterworks are up and running, so to speak!

    • STILL not working. Hopefully it will be down after a few hours of no rain. It has literally NOT stopped here since Monday morning.

  11. Despite the snoring, it’s good you’re taking the time for pampering and to relax. I need to take a leaf out of your book (32 weeks preggers) but I am still in the crazy nesting mode and know my time to finally slow will come in a few weeks. Hope the loo gets fixed up soon. Bit of a necessity at the best of times, not to mention with a fully knocked up lass in the vicinity!

  12. Oh god, is there anything better than an Endota Day Spa???!!! Yes, I have those voices in my head as I try to relax for a facial…then end up nearly asleep – god I love a facial. Hope the weather is clearing up a bit? Sounds miserable. x

  13. Oh man, a skinny FW and a ham + cheese croissant is my weekend heaven. It’s what I live for!

  14. As much as I like the Idea of a ‘relaxation massage’ I find I also do the internal dialogue. So I’ve given up on them!!! Just not value for money. I’d rather have a bath at home and then read in bed for 2 hours without being interrupted! That’s what I call relaxation!!

  15. Thanks for that post! A great laugh! So did you? ….fart? 🙂

  16. katierainbird says

    I am so excited for you Beth, I am a bit of a birth junkie, ha! I don’t do relaxation at all. This is my relaxation: catching up on blog reading, watching Martha Stewart and checking my phone at 12:05am.
    Kinda sorta want a croissant now too.

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