The girl who (kinda, sorta) could

I like to think I am an intelligent woman. I know right from wrong, I read, I write, I know some things and I can do some stuff.

I know that when I eat bread and sugary, carby goods, I put on weight.
I know that I feel great when I exercise regularly.
I know that no neenish tart tastes as good as pulling on jeans that fit, or that are even loose.
I know my mind feels a million bucks when the music is up loud and I’m hitting the road.
I know that hot cross buns with butter as thick as cheese on them isn’t a great breakfast option.

See? I KNOW SOME STUFF. And yet?

The self sabotage has been in full swing.

Stupid self talk in your head that convinces you that because you haven’t done any exercise in a few days that it’s all been in vain and you should really just give up. The stupid head talk that tells you that because you haven’t lost any weight in a while that you’ll never lose weight again. Ever. The stupid head talk that convinces you not to get dressed into your workout clothes, that you deserve a break.

This week the Walk in her Shoes challenge has seen me kick my exercise back into gear. I’ve been down to just once a week of exercise of late, as opposed to the 5 or even 6 times a week I was doing a few months ago. I know life gets in the way, but if you really want to do something, you just do it right? YOU JUST DO. And yet I haven’t.

Riddle me this Batman: Why is it so? Why do we make these strange choices when you know you are doing the wrong thing? Is it just because you CAN?

How do you get yourself back on track?
How do you not listen to the stupid talk and stay focused on the truths that you know?
Anyone else unable to not eat hot cross buns this time of year? They are my kryptonite. Much like fruit mince tarts at Christmas time.

THAT DARNED DRIED FRUIT *shakes fist in the air*!!!


  1. I’m 35 weeks pregnant & have had gestational diabetes since I was 27 weeks. That means no hot cross buns OR Easter eggs this year!!! It’s bloody touture I tell ya! There is a list a mile long of foods I love that I can’t have right now so you’re not alone Beth….

  2. Anonymous says

    Yes hot cross buns, my forbidden donuts!
    Just thankful I do not like the mocha or choc ones my kids adore.
    Oh no just realised another thing to beat myself up for, introducing flavoured hot cross buns to kids…
    Off for a lie down to contemplate all this.

  3. Hot Cross Buns are the business. You have to lather them in butter though so you can see it thick and yellow. Its the only way to eat them.

  4. When you solve this one, can you let me know the answer to the riddle? My bad habits are going to kill me sooner rather than later, another friend battling the dreaded big C from smoking. Strange, bloody stupid choices from a brain which knows better. I hear you! Keep up the great work girl. xxx

  5. Ah, I am the President of the self-sabotage club. Welcome. Nice to have fellow members so that I don’t have to feel so stupid by myself. I honestly don’t have any answers. If you discover some, let me know. And trust me, i’ve delved good and deep to find out all the reasons why I suffer from this affliction. I’m not giving up though. One of these days I’m sure i’ll be able to resign from this club. It’s certainly not the most productive group I’ve ever been in…but it sure can be a lot of fun!

  6. Oh this is me all over. I don’t know. I really don’t. I wish i did. I was going to write a similar post today, my self talk is bizarre, I just don’t get it. I’ve been promising myself to exercise and lose the 5kg I need to, yet no.

    Thankfully no hot cross buns here and Easter eggs only arrived in the shops this week. Cadbury Creme eggs are my kryptonite!

  7. If anyone else knows the answer to this riddle I’d love to hear it! The bottom line for me is : I really love food and don’t love exercise. Put an Easter bun or chocolate in front of me and I’ll go weak at the knees. No resistance whatsoever! It’s definitely a female thing- i’ve had this very same conversation with my girl friends lately

  8. Anonymous says

    Oh yeah. Right now I have butter melting to go on my popcorn and my second glass of red at hand. Am sure the half-arsed thirty minutes on the treadmill will take care of it *head slap*

  9. Hi Beth, have read your blog for ages and absolutely adore it, but haven’t commented until now.. I don’t know either, I just can’t find the fire in my belly I used to have in my 20’s when I had to drop a few kg for a party on the weekend in a week. Like you, I know exercise makes me feel better, it makes me happy, it makes me look good, it helps me sleep, it keeps my overeating under control, it helps me handle stress better,..I know all this stuff to be true as true can be as well, but yet I self sabotage as well, its too hot, its too dark, its too early, I am too tired, my back hurts, my legs hurt, my knees hurt, my shoes are crap, and on and on and on it goes… Is there anyone that knows how you counteract these destructive thoughts ??

  10. I’m right there….. I have been doing so well for a whole month…eating well, exercising..feeling good, but no weight loss on the scale of late at all….it did my head in and I opted to eat a steady diet of Easter eggs today and of course now I feel like crap all because of a stupid number on a scale…

  11. I’m with you there…100%….now back to that triple choc brownie I go….stupid stupid sugary carbs and delicious fruity buns…

  12. one way to oounteract these negative thoughts/beliefs self talk is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. Find a good qualified psychologist in your area to teach it to you or plenty of good CBT books out there if you want to DIY. Part of the answer to the riddle is delayed vs immediate gratification.
    That and that food just tastes so darn good and exercise is hard and hot and sweaty and takes time time that could be spent sitting on our butts eating yummy food vicious circle LOL.

    The only way to get back on track is to do it. Sooner rather than later – and without the head games. And remembering there is no such thing as “willpower” it is just actions and thoughts actions and thoughts rinse repeat

    All that said (above) yep I need to get off my a&%$ too after using the kids and sleep dep and bad pelvis and whatever else an excuse for last 8 years (and 15+ kg) – yep know all the theory just don’t put it into action

  13. You just need your mood to be right and you’ll get back into your stride again. Hot cross buns? So far we have not succumbed to temptation but only this afternoon hubby said perhaps it is about time!!! Yes, perhaps it is but only in moderation. Did you know that Woolworths begin baking hot cross buns on 29 December? Lady in our local store told hubby that at the end of last year. : )

  14. Not sure if my comment posted with links to some good books and sites on “lifetraps” and schemas – Reinventing your life by Young and

    Also some excellent FREE online modules about Procrastination (and many other topics) from health wa high quality self help modules

    was just thinking also something that can explain it to anyone that wants to read and understand further is Prochaska and DiClimentes stages of change theory., Usually applied to things like health/behaviour change, smoking cessation etc. All about knowing what stage you are at ie precontemplation, contemplation, action, relapse etc and using motivational interviewing techniques to progress thru stages. see here and

  15. sorry that should read Klosko & Young for the Lifetraps book

  16. It is a total killer.. my stupid dumb arse thoughts kill me sometimes.. I am amazed at the way my brain works sometimes yet apparently I am not very good at changing it.

    That said.. who I surround myself with or talk to each day via email or phone is what helps me most so go to the blogs that inspire you to cook healthy, search running on pinterest or motivation.

    The 3 C’s.. gotta have the courage to take a chance to make a change.. then when you are out there jogging shout “BRING IT ON!” and sprint for a my world!

  17. Forgive yourself! Take it a day at a time. Be kind to yourself you are a lovely person, a great Mum and a woman who brings smiles to the faces of heaps of people everyday with your lovely stories and beautiful photo’s, that’s the important stuff, then go for a walk today.

  18. This year I am baking my own buns and they are rocking my world. Last year I suspect I didn’t have any, sad thing that…. ….I’ve made them twice now, mostly organic ingredients and I have honestly never tasted better. I have to share each batch with 5 others so that keeps me in check but I find that one straight out of the oven with butter has been divine enough to keep me pretty happy. As for the other stuff, it’s time and consistency. Indulge but make sure it is worth it, ie tastes amazing. As for the exercise part of it I find that I need to have a goal to keep me on track and focused. If something goes awry but it aside to shit happening and move on 🙂 xx

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