End of the line

It was so great to have Harper back on board and have a relatively normal weekend. It was the local show so we went and checked that out on Saturday with my Mum and step dad who had come down for the weekend. Given the week I’d had there were no entries to the show this year which ruined my plans, but I guess there will always be next year right? There were cows to watch being judged, pony rides to go on, Bertie Beetle bags to eat, judged cakes, flowers and vegetables to look at…

…and Milko bars to get stick in Daisy’s hair. I was not impressed when I turned around to find this matted mess before my eyes. After much careful extraction I ended up getting the scissors and cutting the bastard out. Daisy won’t that mistake again I’m sure.

The girls had a wonderful day together yesterday. They played non stop, did everything together and were generally pleasant and kind to each other. The awfulness of the past week is already starting to fade (or be pushed away into the vaults of terribleness forever) and the enormity of the stress of the past months is starting to catch up with me at last. I am sick with a cough and cold that I’ve had for about 3 weeks and I am so tired I can barely see straight. If we thought Harper was sleeping terribly before, we had nothing on the sleep she has given us for the past 7 days (which is to be expected given the pain she has been in though). The last 2 nights (even though she is a gazillion times better) have been the worst and it’s so hard to gather the strength to stay calm and together when all I feel like doing is unravelling and hiding under my doona for the next month. Simple things like getting to bed (for me) early are becoming impossible with endless wakings for both girls – last night about 4 or 5 times all before 10pm. It’s incredibly frustrating and I would be lying if I didn’t say that right now, if this keeps up for a few more weeks, I’m not sure how I will be able to function on any kind of normal way anymore. It just seems so unfair. ONE NIGHT. We need it. We all need it so much. Let it come…


  1. Oh god how I feel for you. We have had six weeks of awful sleep around here. The baby and the three year old’s antics have meant about three hours of broken sleep a night. I was at breaking point last week and I haven’t had it nearly as tough as you. No sleeps means everything seems grey and joyless.

    I wish I could give you a night (or a week of sleep). Can someone take the girls, even for a night?

    I always remember hearing the Dalai Lhama saying the key to happiness is sleep, and it’s so true.

    • I always think of you when I’m going through a shitty sleep period…and know I’m not alone. I’m sure someone could take the girls – and if this keeps up I will be dropping them out the front for council clean up. Daisy has School though and needs to be here during the week and Harps, well, she seems so distressed in the night with terrible dreams – probably processing everything that just went down, that I don’t want to lump her somewhere unfamiliar to make her distressed. It’s a stupid cycle. Anyway. I’m so fucking OVER sleep and non sleep that I don’t want to talk about it anymore, which is funny given that I’ve just written a post about it hey?!

      Thanks for your advice, as ever x

    • Fair enough. Try and take care of yourself anyway you can.

      Looking forward to catching up for a drink soon. (and not talking about sleep, I bore myself with it too). x

  2. Leace the girls with Rob for a night and come and stay in the guest room. I will give you a deep hot bath complete with a big glass of vino then tuck you up for 24 hours. xx

  3. I LOVE Mrs Woog’s suggestion…take it up PLEASE! before you go off the deep end…if you aren’t already there. xxx

  4. I understand that you don’t want to leave the girls now just when you might be turning a corner and with Harper dealing with what she has gone though, but gosh, what a dilemma… being there has worn you down to the bone, being away would recharge your batteries but you know you are needed. Sigh. I have been thinking about you at odd hours of the night over the last few days as I have been lying on a mattress on the floor in the girls room shushing Stella as she struggles to settle without her dummy. Its been tough but I do know it will pass and so shall your sleep issues pass, in time. Be brave and strong, you are so supported by so many people out here in the internet and although that isn’t worth much when the shit hits, it still counts!

  5. If you don’t take up Mrs Woog’s offer I will!

    I feel for you Beth, but it will pass. It will. I can feel sleep is just around the corner, for all of you. It has been a distressing time for little Harper and no doubt she is still feeling out of sorts even though she is back to ‘normal’. You’re nearly there. You are. xo

  6. Oh darling, i had sleepers so i can’t imagine what it’s like. This is really hard core now, yikes. What are options on sleep clinics for older children?? I know friends who went to ones with babies?? I don’t know, have you tried all the tricks like giving them supper so their bellies are super full, heat packs, music, cutting any day time relaxation so they collapse into bed, smoothering them in lavender, a few laps of the village before or after dinner?? My sister needed her sleep & her children were not great at it, so she just gave them portable DVD players & if they woke, they’d keep it to themselves?? Good luck, love Posie

  7. Agggghhhh.
    I’m getting stabby for you.
    No sleep will do that – and worse. Much worse.
    Head to Woogsworld love.
    It’ll be worth it.

  8. Oh shit Beth. I feel so bad for you and there’s nothing I can do. It is one of those things as parents we have to get through. When it is all over, you will look back and be floored by your strength and wonder how you ever did it. Hugs. Again and again as long as you need them xx
    P.S. Jealous of those Bertie Beetle bags. We sold out at our show before I got there humph.

  9. Honestly take up the offer to stay with friends for one night and sleep, sleep, sleep. Then let Rob go to a friends house and get a nights sleep. Or could your parents take the children for a night? I don’t know surely someone can help you??

  10. Can your Mum stay at your house for a night while you and Rob go to a hotel for a good nights sleep? Really feeling for you. I guess this is why they use sleep deprivation as a torture tactic in warfare……

  11. Oh Beth, I hope that good night comes real soon for you. xx

  12. Oh, i really feel for you, i still have sick twins at the moment and the other half just started bloody night shift so that’s a fantastic help!
    Sorry, just wanted to say i feel for you and empathise, really hope it gets better soon, sleep deprivation is just the worst kind of torture and leaves you feeling a bad mummy just because you want to sleep!!!!

  13. Bloody hell lady, I can’t begin to imagine. We pretty much have disruption every night, but on the upside, the boys do end up going back to sleep. So it’s interrupted sleep, but sleep all the same. I really feel for you. Had to laugh at the Milko though, how on earth did she do that?? Glad you had a nice weekend anyway xo

  14. Oh I Hear You.

    Last night my usually perfect Baby was sick (Damn You to Hell Orphange Style Daycare) and woke at the highly inconvenient times of 10pm, 2am and then 5am.

    My Kingdom for a Sleep.

    Doling out legal advice in a corporate environment and having literaly zero sleep is not a Match Made in Heaven.

    Meanwhile I think the worst of it is over for you. Hooray.

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