3

This morning I went and bought a birthday present for my gorgeous niece Ava who turns 3 this weekend. I can’t believe it – 3 already?! How does it all go so quickly? I got home and checked my emails and was reminded of what else is 3 today. It’s 3 years today since Daisy’s friend Lachlan, from my Mothers Group died. Died. He was 16 months old. From SIDS.

I have written about this before (and from there you can link right back to when it happened) and will do so each year. It’s always a timely reminder for me to look at my beautiful girls and hold them extra close to me. I look at Daisy – 4 years old and what Lachie should be today – full of questions, a yearning for knowledge, humour, bad temperedness, growing up so quickly from this small child into a kid. A proper kid, ready for school. And Harper, only a few months older than what Lachie was when he passed away – energetic, curious, delightful, utterly full of joy and love and enthusiasm for life. I am so very lucky.

A parent cannot imagine the loss of their child. It’s doesn’t even bear thinking about, imagining. I hope that Angus & Jules pain is a little less, that this year has bought them more peace, more time to remember the good that they had, and not what is so achingly missing from their lives. I hope that their little boy Cooper is filling their hearts and homes with noise and love and everything that kids bring to their parents. Tonight I will talk to Daisy about her friend who she no longer remembers, I will hug her tight and count my blessings, like I do every day. I will send a little prayer up to Lachie and let him know that he is remembered. Still. And in a few weeks time when Red Nose Day comes around I will make a donation and hope that it helps the research into why this needless cause of death for those so young even happens at all.

Rest in peace dear boy x

Comments

  1. xx 🙁

  2. Rest in Peace indeed xx

  3. As you know, Beth, Lachlan went to Family Day Care with my boy. It’s hard to believe it’s been three years. I will never forget hearing the news. We will be lighting a candle for Lachlan tonight and we’ll be there at the get-together in the park next weekend. Three years ago I told Julia I’d make sure my son remembers his little friend and I intend to honour that promise.

  4. Beth, you have me in tears. We actually met Angus & Julia recently through some friends of ours. I knew about their little boy, but your posts have brought it home for me. I will hug my two extra tight today. Sending my love to Angus, Julia & Cooper. Annie xx

  5. So so sad. SIDS scares the crap out of me.

    Thanks for the reminder. Will cuddle Abi and Ted extra tightly tonight. xx

  6. Three.

    It will be like three weeks to his dear parents. The pain still so raw.

    Red nose day is one day I never miss contributing too.

  7. What a beautiful post in Lachie’s memory. Tragically SIDS is still a reality to too many parents. Red Nose Day is a charity well worth supporting and with their help the numbers are reducing.

    I am thankful for my 4 children and 2 grand-daughters each and every day. Stories like this bring home the blessing even more.

    thanks so much for sharing. xxx

  8. Just breaks my heart Beth. The type of tragedy I will never understand xo

  9. You and I have never met but I am Kakka’s mother and I would like to second her comment above. I have 2 children, 6 grandchildren and 2 great-grandchildren and I know how precious they all are to me. As a mother I cannot in any way imagine what it must be to lose a child to SIDS or any illness/accident. The people I see in the blogging world are so articulate and are able to express themselves so wonderfully well.

  10. What a beautiful tribute….losing a child is the hardest thing in life but having friends who remeber makes it a little easier as the years go by.

  11. Biggest fear when you have little ones isn’t it?? We were lucky, our babies were born & raised in the NT where they have the lowest rate of SIDS in the country (if you talk white people statistics, unfortunately). They just have so much fresh air & limited covers, but that is not always the case, SIDS still has so many unknowns. We always support Red Nose Day & i’m so very happy my 4th baby is 7 years old now & SIDS is well behind us.
    Heart breaking for your friends, just makes you love your own children that little bit extra, so lucky we have them at all. Love Posie

  12. Anonymous says

    Thanks again Beth

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3

Missy Miss (as Daisy has named her) is 3 weeks old today. I feel both amazed at how quickly time has gone, but also fatigued by the time, how each day is now a 24 hour day split into 3/4 hour feeds that make the day seem sooooo very long. Has it only been 3 weeks? Surely not…

I am finding it hard to look beyond the immediate now. To see that soon enough time will just fly by and I will have this proper babe, and not a newborn. That not long after that I will have a chubba bubba that will laugh and sit up and crawl. I know logically that this will happen, but I think the sleep deprivation makes you feel like THIS will be like THIS forever and I will have to feed for hours at a time FOREVER. Ah tiredness can make things seem so endless…

Having said all that, she really is a great little girl, and we are VERY lucky with how well she has adapted to life on the outside. She is eating and sleeping well and hardly ever cries only if something is really pissing her off (I think her sister was far more fussy at the same age). Yesterday we had a visit from the early childhood nurse at home who came to check she was growing and putting on weight etc. I was SO pleased to see that she had put on 770 grams since we left the hospital (always pleasing to a mother to know her milk is doing some good and that all the middle of the night feeds are doing the right thing). She was on track in every department which was great news, and it proved that things do indeed change, move on, grow. And on a day like yesterday I think I needed to be reminded of that.

Also, yesterday morning, I awoke with the signs of the DREADED mastitis. I thought I was doing so well this time around – the nipples (too much info?!) were in good shape, she was draining each breast with each feed etc but Sunday night she slept for her longest stretch (7.30pm until 2.30am) so I was engorged and in pain. When she didn’t really drain it properly at the 2.30am feed I was in agony by 6.30am. I pumped and thought I had nailed it – but alas the dreaded redness appeared a few hours later. I hotfooted it to the GP and got me some antibiotics so I hope I have knocked it on the head once and for all. This whole episode has left me feeling a little BLAH with a side of SIGH as I thought that I was doing so well this time, and somehow it makes me feel a little silly that I have allowed it to happen again – but I know that I should be over it soon enough and there is NO way I am headed to the disaster of a breast abscess that I had last time, so I will just try to suck it up and move on.

Today and tomorrow Daisy is off at daycare (am I allowed to say a very large WOOOO HOOOOO?!!!) so I plan on making the most of the time without her around. I plan on catching up on bad TV, sleeping as much as I can, and making sure this mastitis stays under control.


Comments

  1. So pleased to hear your gorgeous miss is doing so well. Now look after yourself and those milk-makers! Sounds like you’re doing all the right things x

  2. I just googled ‘breast abscess’. OMG.

    O. M. G.

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