Winter of discontent

I have many flaws. One of my worst parenting flaws though, is my doom and gloom attitude when things start to go just a little off track. You can imagine then, just how I am all rainbows and lolly pops when things really turn bad. In fact, right here is an example of this doom and gloom approach – I mean things are not really bad – yet I say they are. Perhaps it’s my overly dramatic side? Oh, you get the picture.

I know that it has been not even a week since Harper stopped sleeping and settling well in the night and yet it already feels like MONTHS. I know that she has caught her first ‘proper’ cold complete with a snuffly nose that cannot be cleared. I know that she is teething (again) from the endless piles of dribble and ear pulling and biting/chewing everything and anything that she can get her hands on. I know that she is also going through some major developmental milestones – she can spend minutes at a time looking at her hands in front of her just working it all out. I know that this is going to be a looooooooooong winter. The first daycare winter is. Filled with many sicknesses of all shapes and sizes that will last for many, many months. I know that this is a period of change for all of us. I know that THIS WILL NOT LAST FOREVER.
And yet. Still.
I manage to freak the hell out the moment that any of the above happens. I manage to turn into a bitchy, hormonal, irrational wildebeest that lashes out at the only person who I can, poor Rob, at any given chance I get. I manage to swear under my breath (and often VERY loudly) as soon as I hear that very first cry – before it has even really begun so that there is no where to go from there. I jump from 0 to 9 in the first 3 seconds which doesn’t leave much room for patience for the potential hours of crying and resettling that follow. I manage to start my day with a bad attitude which can only mean that the day will go one way. Downhill. And when your base point is a little less then *ahem* ideal, it’s going to be one dooooooozy of a day.
I know. And yet I still go and do it. I logically understand all of this and yet I still go and do it. I (used to be at least) a pretty smart woman, and yet still? Well you can work it out.
Seriously. When will I EVER learn this parenting stuff?

Comments

  1. You’ll know it all when you’re a Grandparent!

    No, seriously, I don’t think you ever do. I think we’re better parents if we’re human and question ourselves. Sleep deprivation will turn even the sweetest of saints into a howling banshee so don’t be hard on yourself. Hugs x

  2. When you figure out, let me know. I’ve been a parent for twelve months now and still groan when I hear that first morning cry.

  3. I find myself in a very similar frame of mind. Last week we had one ‘bad’ night after a week of ‘good’ nights and I lost my shit as soon as Charlotte woke up at the ‘wrong’ time. Not with her, but with the situation. I was swearing and stomping and being generally uncool hahaha (I can laugh now. Now.). I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you’re not alone. And you’re doing a fab job with those two gorgeous girls. Two of em! Imagine that.

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