Two: The year that was

Daisy May Macdonald today you are 3. 3! It warrants a thousand of these ! but I will just use one. Just like Last year and the year before that I wanted to tell you a little about the year that was, your 3rd year of life.

I can’t believe that I now have a 3 year old daughter. Seriously, weren’t you JUST born? I’m not even kidding the time has gone by that fast. You are long and lean and tanned and all arms and legs and long blonde hair. You will NOT let me get that hair cut my someone professionally but you have at least allowed me to have a crack. And I have done a terrible job of it – it is hacked with blunt scissors much to your fathers dismay – but you don’t seem to mind. Oh my stars the fights we have had over this hair – you HATE HATE HATE to have it brushed. We have both ended up in tears over attempts to get it brushed, and then – what do you know! – you eventually realise that it is lovely to sit there and have your hair brushed. Needless to say you get your hair washed once as week if we are lucky. I hear that nits like clean hair so at least we have that covered. I wonder if it will always be like this – surely when you go to school you will let me brush and plait it? Surely? SURELY? I now have an understanding for why I sported an elfin short hair do for the first 6 years of my life…apparently I was the same. Go figure.
And boy are we the same. In more ways than one. We look the same sure (you do have your Dad’s eyes though) but we are SO the same in many other ways. You are strong willed. Like me. Stubborn. Like me. Fiery and passionate. Um, like me. Funny. Some say, like me. Which you would think would mean that we would live harmoniously together but alas it seems that more often than not we end up fighting. I don’t know if it is a surge or hormones at the moment (for both of us) but we seem to be doing a lot of this at the moment. You are trying to assert yourself and be the big girl you so desperately want and need to be, and I am being hard on you and asking you to step up to the big sister you should be, whilst desperately trying to hold onto the baby that you were. My first baby. Oh it’s all so tricky at times! While I so don’t want you to grow up and be big, I can’t wait for the toddlerness to pass. The moods. The tantrums. The bad sleeping. The emotional roller coaster that we live with day in and day out. At times this year it has felt like living with a drunk – the fights and anger and then the make ups – I have been checking your Disney Princess cup for vodka, just to be sure. You seem to bring out both the very best and the very worst in me. These past few months you have made me look inside myself more than I would ever want to. You challenge me. You test me to my very limits. And you reward me with the most joyous and unconditional love that makes EVERYTHING OK. I was silly enough to think that I had this mothering thing with you down. Ha! Each year I know that there will be new challenges to face, new ‘phases’ and I will as always, try my best to tackle them. To make you feel special and supported, loved and understood with each new one that comes along. Even when it is hard for me. That’s my promise to you. Cause that’s what being a mother is.
You became a big sister this year and what a job you have done of it. You KNEW that you were getting a baby sister from the moment we found out we were having a baby (incidentally on your 2nd birthday last year). You just kept saying that it would be a baby girl and when I went and pushed out a girl (much to every ones surprise) I thought of you straight away. I could almost see you saying to me “Told you so”. You adore Harper. At least I am (pretty) certain that you do. You try and (accidentally) step on her whenever you can, or pinch her, both to see what will happen (to her and what my reaction will be) and also to try and get some of the much needed attention back onto yourself. But you could not love her with the way she looks at you. She ADORES you. Giggles at everything that you do, and will follow (with her eyes for now) you around the room when you are in it. I promise you she will be much more fun in the next year, just you wait and see.
Daise you stepped up not only to be a big sister, but when your Dad and I were working so hard this past year. You sucked it up and went to school 3 days a week and then one day with your Grandma and managed to (mostly) keep it together. You weathered many of my stressed out storms over work, and being pregnant, and your Dad not being as available to us, and you just kept it (mostly together). You have even taken to sucking it up when you get dropped off at school now, which makes things so much easier for your Dad. Thank you. You have been a great support for me. A friend and companion when I have been lonely at home with a new baby, and someone who always makes me laugh. Cause you are FUNNY. And intelligent. I think you got all your Dad’s brains – you have an insatiable thirst for knowledge – and luckily your father has the patience to answer all your whys. Thank God for him because otherwise you would get lots of “JUST BECAUSE” if it was just me around here all the time. Patience is NOT one of my strengths.
But most of all Daisy, this year, you have bought your Dad, and me and Harper and ALL the people in our extended family so. much. happiness. You truly are a special gal – full of innocence and joy. I cannot wait to see the little girl that you are going to be – someone who loves to dress up….boy do you love yourself some shoes! Someone who loves to be around people that she loves – just last weekend you were SO happy and said so “we are all together!” because I can see it fills your heart when all your family is together. I hope you always feel that way – I know I do and I am all the luckier for them. Someone who will not put up with too much crap. Someone who will speak her mind over things she does not agree with (let’s hope it moves on from having your hair washed and onto more important matters). Someone who will always count her blessings and tell the people that she loves that she loves them. It filled my heart with joy to hear you tell your Grandfather that you “loved him” and his farm just because you felt it. I hope you don’t ever lose this ability to say what you feel…I know it’s one thing that I do and often and it (sometimes) gets you into trouble, but it is important. ALWAYS speak your mind, my love. Because it is a great mind and everything that you think and feel is important.
So Happy Birthday my funny little Valentine. Here’s to the year ahead. 3! I hear (God forbid) that 3 can be worse than the terrible twos. Let’s just take it one day at a time OK? I promise to be there every step of the way to hold your hand when you need it, and to let go of it when you want me to. It’s so hard for me to let my baby girl go, but I will. I love you. So much. More that you will EVER know. I am proud of you. Amazed by you. Every. Single. Day of the year.



Comments

  1. Happy birthday Daisy – I hope you have clear skies shine down upon your gorgeous girl today x

  2. What a sweet post and a beautiful record for her to read when she’s older. Happy birthday to your gorgeous little girl!

  3. Happy birthday to you and your gorgeous Daisy!

  4. Happy Birthday to your beautiful Valentine girl. xo

  5. Bless. Your. World. You are a wonderful mother Beth. Thanks for being such an inspiration xx

  6. Oohhh the tears. You got me with this one. Beautiful. Just beautiful

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