In a funky rut

I am not sure what is wrong with me at the moment but I just seem to be some sort of rut. Feeling funky and blue. I guess it has something to do with sleep deprivation but I am just OVER IT.I seem to cry at everything (like a new Mother) and I don’t seem to be able to cope with things like I could before. I don’t understand that when you know that your baby can sleep through the night and then they stop that you just can’t cope with it. It feels like it will go on forever. I also feel like I am the only one in the world that feels like this. My other friends with babies never seem to have these problems. My sisters and sister in laws all seem to have children and I never hear about how shit and hard it is at times. Do they just not talk about it? I must be my own worst enemy because I wear my heart on my sleeve. And I miss my Mum. She is overseas at the moment – for another 3 weeks – and I just had to call her up and last night and sob into the phone. The poor thing must have thought that someone had died and was in a panic, but I have to say it has been the only thing that has made me feel better. Poor Rob. He just has to sit there and put up with a psycho wife that is nasty and cranky ALL THE TIME. Surely things will get better soon? And can the top freakin’ teeth that are causing all this trouble show their heads soon?

How can someone so small cause so much trouble?????? I ask myself this then I start the guilty mother cycle where I think that I am awful and horrible and people really have real problems with kids, and then if I can’t cope with this what would I be like with real trouble – like colic – or sickness that was really nasty? Then I think how will I ever have other children – I never want to do this again. And so on and so forth. Like a mad woman. SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Ok enough. I will be back on here when I have something good to say. Hopefully it will be soon! In the meantime lets hope there is plenty of this coming our way.

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