BabyMac

Just call me Bev: Episode 18 {Saturday lunch}

2012-02-16T07:04:00.000+11:00

Back when I was cool and relevant and lived in Darlinghurst when I was just a girlfriend, maybe even a fiance, Rob and I would trot these out all the time. It was one of those lunches you would eat in the late afternoon, after we had had breakfast at a cafe, then home to have sex, read the papers and even a nap. Because that was so exhausting. You would wake hungry, want to eat something before heading off to the pub for an afternoon session with no real plans, nowhere particular to be, no one to answer to, but ourselves and our immediate desires. I don't miss those days at all. Ahem.

Last Saturday we had them for lunch, but the only thing in common was um, nothing, except that we made them. They are delicious, easy and pretty healthy too.

Chicken Quesadillas
2 Chicken breasts
Shallots
Red capsicum
Red chillis
Bunch of coriander
Salt & pepps
Tasty cheese
Flour tortillas

: Chop up the shallots and capsicum into small dices and finely chop the coriander

: Chop the chicken in the same small size and pan fry. Season with plenty of salt & pepper and when cooked set aside

: Fry up the capsicum, shallot and coriander & chilli until softened and season with a little tabasco for extra kick (and for the non kids version). After a few minutes toss the chicken back in and check flavouring for more salt or pepper (or chilli) needed.

: Into a fry pan put the tortilla in over a high heat and on one side spoon in some mixture. Top with tasty cheese and extra coriander. Then flip over the other side to cover the mix so you have a half moon. Turn the moon over the cook the other side of the tortilla.

: Cut and serve immediately

: If I was a food stylist and not a normal person who was starving hungry with a little person pulling at my top asking me for a drink, I would add a sprig of coriander and a lime wedge. But I'm not. You get the drift right? Enjoy!

A little Birthday afternoon tea

2012-02-15T07:26:00.000+11:00

We held a Valentine Birthday afternoon tea for Miss Daisy yesterday. It was everything you would want a 5 year old soiree to be: pink, full of treats, a few games, plenty of new friends, sunshine(!), presents and of course love hearts to boot! The kids were fabulous given the fact it was after school and Daisy managed to get through without one tantrum which I was stoked about. Last night when I put her to bed she said that she "had the best time" and that "it's so special to have so many people at your party isn't it Mum?"

It sure is.

The one where I write to myself

2012-02-14T13:23:00.000+11:00

Dear Beth,

I'm just getting in quickly before you gear up for 19 kids about to arrive for Daisy's Birthday party. I know you are exhausted, but take a minute if you can, just sit for a moment. It won't kill you. See?

Beth. You are doing really well at the minute. I know it's hard. I know it's the hardest it's been in ages because you are so tired, but it will pass soon enough. Promise. Despite months and months of sleepless nights, you still get on with each day, smiling as you go, cracking jokes, making sandwiches, washing, sweeping floors and being a good friend, wife and mother. That's something. Each and every day you take time to write on your blog, to make some one's day a little brighter, to share the load and make someone out there feel a little less alone, or inspired, or just laugh, and that's something. I know sometimes you feel useless, like everything you do doesn't count for much, you don't "work" and you seem lost about what you can do with your writing, or where it's going, or why you bother, and you compare yourself to others and wallow a little in self doubt, but, BUT if you stop and look around you will see that you are doing something. A whole lot of little somethings that actually do count. You do matter. You are working each and every day and while you don't have any money coming into a bank account (which I know you struggle with seeing as you are always worked your whole life and it's how you judge your own value) you are doing an amazing job. With your kids. With your community. With complete strangers all over the world. You are working, and doing something fulfilling that you love and that's something right? You always wanted that. Remember?

I know you struggle with people and conflict and situations that eat you up and turn you inside out because you 'don't understand' one thing or another. Let it go. Let it be. It doesn't matter. Worry about yourself, about being a good person, and the rest can just be what it is. Move on Beth, please, move on.

So, what I guess I'm trying to say is this. Hang in there. This time will pass soon enough. Be kinder to yourself and know that every day you are doing something. You are worth something. You count for something. Don't forget that. And release yourself from hurt and people that cause you hurt. Move on from it. They don't deserve you.

Oh, and get your roots done. It's not Deborah Harry anymore, it's a little ugly. Happy Valentines Day you old tart. I love you, there are a whole shitload of others that do too. Don't forget that.

Love me x

Be sure to check out a few other love letters to themselves over at Glow's blog.

This girl

2012-02-14T07:44:00.000+11:00

: Has a fiery temper on her
: Is sometimes too smart for her own good
: Can be the bossiest little girl I have ever had the pleasure of knowing
: Can make me laugh, a lot
: Makes me pull my hair out in frustration
: Fills my heart with more joy than I ever thought possible
: Makes me proud just about every hour on the hour
: Is kind and thoughtful
: Loves to be the centre of attention
: Doesn't like sleep much
: Has made me learn more about myself than I ever thought possible
: Is learning more each day than ever before
: Is a wonderful, caring big sister
: And today, she is 5

Happy Birthday Miss Daisy May Macdonald. You should know that you are loved. You are amazing. You are smart. And brave. And that we are all blessed to have you in our lives x

Oh my GORD: Jamie Oliver Cheat Pizza

2012-02-13T07:26:00.000+11:00

We had a very quiet weekend {which was about all we could manage} spending plenty of time at home trying to get our overtired kids to sleep whenever possible. There were plenty of storms, and some sunshine, some tantrums and a few naps. Weekends like this mean one thing to me: home cooking. Easy, comforting food with a few glasses of wine thrown in for good measure. I bought Rob Jamie Oliver's 30 minute meal cookbook for Fathers Day and hadn't really tried anything until I started watching the show of the same series. I found the book quite overwhelming and text heavy, but after I watched the show I sort of "got" it. I watched it on Friday night and saw him make this pizza that was half cooked in a fry pan and finished under the grill. It looked simple, delicious and easy - 3 essentials when it comes to cooking for me.

Jamie's Cheat Pizza
:1.5 cups of self raising flour
: Half cup tepid water
: Olive oil
: Salt
Add any topping that takes your fancy we used:
: Sopressa hot salami
: Fennel seeds
: Tomato sauce (we used the jarred stuff)
: Mozzarella
: Parmesan
: Red chilli

: Throw into a food processor the flour, water, a good lug of olive oil and a pinch of salt. Blitz it until it's all combined then whack onto a floured surface. It will be quite wet so don't be shy with the flour.

: Roll it out until it's about 1cm thick. Fold it in half {onto itself} and then half again so you have a quarter so it's easy to transfer into the frying pan.

: Heat some oil in your pan and have the heat on high (at the same time turn your griller on so it's hot ready for the pizza to go under in a few minutes)

: And unfold the quartered dough out covering the pan

: Add some tomato sauce to the base

: Then a few pieces of mozzarella, then the sopressa

: The chillis, fennel seeds and then the parmesan cheese. This only takes a minute or so to add the toppings and as you add them on you can smell/see that the base is cooking underneath and getting crispy

: Whack under a hot grill for a couple of minutes

: And slide out onto a board for cutting. I know! Literally under 10 minutes you have a home made pizza and base done. Snap!

Verdict? It was delicious and VERY easy...but...and there is always a but, because I like my pizzas thinner I found the base a little doughy and thick. It's basically a deep pan pizza so the next time I make it I will make sure I roll it out a little thinner. But, to be able to make your own base and serve the thing out in under 15 minutes from go to whoa? Well, that's a no brainer right? Think after sport school nights when you get home and need something simple, easy. This will be a Monday night dinner round these parts as we don't get home from swimming until after 5.30pm.
______________________________________________

Aside that has nothing to do with the recipe I promise: Little did I know that this pizza would send me into heart burn hell. I woke up Sunday morning at 2am with a niggling twinge of heartburn so I got up, swigged some mylanta and sat up for a bit until it calmed down. It did not. I was in agony for hours and hours later and eventually in hospital yesterday morning trying to get it under control. I have started to suffer from bouts of heartburn more and more lately and this was the worst without a doubt. I thought it might have even been gallstone/bladder issues, but it looks like good old GORD (Gastro Oesophageal Reflux Disease) instead. I'm off to the GP this week for a referral to a gastroenterologist for a endoscopy. Gee that required some googling of spelling! You've got to love when an ER doctor tells you how "serious" this is, because I could get esophageal cancer. Way to brighten your (already very dull) morning! Anyway, not the perfect way to spend the end of our weekend, but then, not much has been going to plan of late.

Fresh Horses: Shiver me timbers

2012-02-10T20:18:00.000+11:00

Do you know what I love most about Eden Riley? So much really, but mostly this week, that she sent me a text to check in on me. Late in the night. When she knew I would be struggling. That's what being a friend is.

This week she has asked the people what they would choose as their funeral song. I LOVE thinking about my funeral music, which may be a little macabre, but tell me you haven't ever once thought about your own funeral, and the people there, and how sad everyone is? OK. Maybe that's just me. This post gives me a legitimate request to have this song played at my funeral, because it's kind of weird every time this song comes on asking my husband to "make sure you play this at my funeral". Kids don't like those discussions. Weirdos. So. This is the song I want played at my funeral.

There's no clip, just the magical, scratchy voice of Tom Waits. The song is about a sailor, it's got not much to do with anything in my life, but the moment my now husband played this song to me in bed, in the wee hours of the morning when we first got together, screwing a lot, sleeping, not eating and just being in love, well I just fell in love with it. It makes me unspeakably sad. I can be in the car on the way to School and this comes on my ipod and I'll cry, properly cry. I love it. It's the perfect farewell song and I hope it makes all the fuckers really cry at my funeral. I also hope I have good egg sandwiches at my funeral. That and french champagne. Simple really.

I have one more. Can there be one more? It's from a Swoon CD that I have filled with classical numbers chosen by someone at the ABC. Have you ever heard a choir singing in a church? I'm not overly religious, but find being in a church strangely comforting and familiar. If my funeral were to be in a huge cathedral, what with me being famous and the like, then I would want the best choir in the world to sing this song. In full harmony. I would want that sad, lonely violin to strain the air. It fills my soul with something, just like Tom does, but in a different way. Deep peace. That's all you really want when you are dead isn't it? Pay no attention to the weirdo clip attached - that's just weird Youtube.

Go and check out what other funeral songs are out there, it's fascinating.

Yesterday is done.

2012-02-10T07:46:00.000+11:00

Rob went to Daisy's first Parent information evening last night. You know, just to get a run down on what they will be learning this term and how their first week has been so far. Can report that all is well and she has settled into School life well. Her writing is coming along but she does have a penchant for the full stop. Rob said she must be reading my blog. What? Sometimes you have to use a full stop often to make. A. Point. You know?

Got me thinking though. Dangerous huh?

I gotta start using some more full stops in my life right now. It's a shitty time no doubts, but it's just sleep. It could be worse. There will be worse to come. Yesterday was a really, really, really bad day. I can't remember a day as bad in all my parenting career, which is kind of strange to me because I know I have been in worse moments, but my reaction to it was an all time low. The last time I remember feeling like that was when I was depressed in 1999 or 2000. I let the black cloud that has been sitting there, threatening over there to the side, envelop me. I let self doubt take over. I let self loathing settle in. I let failure of everything to do with sleep sit squarely on my shoulders. I had a shower for 20 minutes and gasped for air through big, heaving sobs. I cried and cried and cried. It felt good to cry. I was miserable to be around. I wallowed in the shittyness of our current situation. I drew into myself. I was a motherfucking misery. And I can only apologise to my mother in law who was here for a visit that she had to witness it all. Sorry.

But.

That was yesterday. There is a full stop there. While I'm not going to put up some motivational crap about how today is a new day, after a few good hours sleep, I feel like it is. A new day and all that. We'll make adjustments to certain parts of parenting that are "not OK" by my weird standards because things are not normal right now. Daisy is adjusting to school. And Harper has sleep apnoea. We will make do and stumble through and if a few weeks post op, things are still bad, then I can get really depressed. I'm going to stop being so hard on myself. I'll give it a crack anyway. And in a years time, hopefully even a few months time, we'll look back at this time, shudder, laugh and move on.

Full stops. It's where it's at this Friday morning. That, and coffee and all kinds of baked goods. I appear to be channeling my lack of sleep and sadness into baked goods - banana bread, lemon syrup cake. It's not good for my gut, but it's good for my soul.

Postcard from the trenches

2012-02-09T08:55:00.000+11:00

I know you would much prefer to read a post about somewhere fabulous I have been, or something I have recently purchased, or anything other than a whiny, complaining, tired post, but it's all I've got. Apologies. Actually, I'm not sorry. It's fucking miserable and there's not much else going on around here. Sleep, or lack of sleep is consuming us all. It's all I think about. It's what I'm thinking of getting whenever I have a chance. It's what to blame for some really bad behaviour from all of us. There's light at the end of this month's tunnel with Harper's operation, but until then I am trying to figure out how we can stumble through the next 22 nights. 22.

: Getting to sleep has become an issue all of a sudden with Harper. She screams the house down because she is inevitably over tired and the thought of going to bed repulses her. I have put in the hard yards with her getting to sleep so I refuse to budge on this and sit with her. I'm ruthless. A gazillion times harder on her then I ever was with Daisy. Eventually after an hour, sometimes longer she goes to sleep.

: Daisy, who desperately needs sleep, cannot sleep while the screaming match is going on. She gets upset and anxious and will not calm down until her sister does. You would think this would make me do whatever it takes to get Harper to sleep, but I won't. I will not have us sitting in with her. It makes all the hard yards we have done up until now, pointless. As a consequence Daisy is missing out on about an hours sleep she needs so much.

: Rob and I fight, really fight with each other during this time. Desperately seeking the answers that we don't have for each other "what the FUCK should we do?" and getting angry when we don't get it. Pointless, mean words, mostly from me, hurting each other because there is no one else to blame.

: Harper will wake one to three hours after she has collapsed, but she is not really awake. It takes a simple shush and covering with blankets and she snores again.

: She will wake, like this, up to 6 more times in the night. Usually every 1.5 hours. I arise, like a zombie to do the same thing each time, sometimes having to stay longer, sometimes falling asleep exhausted at the end of her bed, willing deep sleep to come. My resentment builds with each wake up, patience that I focus on, meditate on giving wears thinner by the minute, until we eventually put her into bed with us and I cry with disappointment that my last 5 efforts of waking have been in vain.

: Daisy usually wakes at some stage. My child that hasn't woken in months, has started again. School and all the hugeness that comes with it, are working overtime in her imagination. It doesn't take long to sooth her worries, but it's another wake up. Another disturbance.

: Rob cannot help the girls in the night. Not because he won't, but because the girls won't allow him to. He wakes with each cry and lays there useless to his angry, seething wife.

: There is usually a stretch of 2 hours sleep before a 6am wake up. My bleary eyes take longer to focus, my cold heart takes much longer to warm to the kids. I'm usually happy to see the morning light, at least we can stop pretending to be asleep. We can get on with the day. Get on with life. We are one day closer to things maybe being better.

I've turned the comments off on this post because I didn't write it for advice or as a cry for help. I wrote it for what it is, a documentation of our lives at the moment. I know you are all thinking of us, and wishing us well, so thank you and know that it is appreciated. Mum, don't panic, I'm fine.

Cows in the mist

2012-02-08T07:12:00.003+11:00

The mists rolled in Monday morning and they haven't left since. It's summer here, but you wouldn't know. My husband went out for a few hours yesterday and came back and made this little film. I love it. I love how it's eerie and the cows seem so strong and powerful and like they know something that we don't. I love how it shows exactly what my home is like. I just love it, and thought you might too.

COWS IN THE MIST from Robert Macdonald on Vimeo.

For best viewing watch in Vimeo at full screen

Just call me Bev: Episode 17 {Family favourite}

2012-02-07T08:09:00.000+11:00

Each and every time we have a large family or friend gathering that requires salads to be made, this is what I bring. It's dead simple. It's delicious. It works well with BBQ'd food, or as a side even with roast lamb. It's a no brainer.

Risoni Salad
1 box risoni
1 lemon (zest & juice)
1 packet fetta
1 bunch dill
1 garlic clove
Olive oli & salt/pepps

: Boil the risoni until cooked, drain and rinse

: Finely chop a bunch of dill

: Zest a lemon and sprinkle over the top

: Take one packet of fetta and crumble it through your hands over the salad

: For the dressing grate/press the garlic, add one third lemon juice to two thirds oil. Salt & pepper and shake and pour over the salad. Mix with hands until the dill/fetta is evenly mixed through the salad. Enjoy!

Monday. Meh.

2012-02-06T10:34:00.000+11:00

It's Monday. How does the weekend go, just like that? I am feeling bluesy this morning. It's cloudy and miserable again here after the most picture perfect summers day yesterday. I think that must have been summer, that one day, yesterday. The girls both slept badly all weekend. One I can handle, two send me over the edge. Saturday night we had 4 wake ups all before 11.30pm and then about another 6 before the day started again. It's so fucking boring I can barely muster the energy to even care about it anymore. Last night was the same - both kids awake, screaming, crying, getting overtired by the minute and me at my wits end. Almost at the very end of it - screaming, crying, yelling, swearing - all I can say is we better get a good nights sleep soon otherwise this family will lose their minds. All of us. OK, mostly me. Poor Daise looked like shit this morning - exhausted and not well rested and I can only hope she makes it through the School day. We will be having a 4pm dinner tonight and in bed by 6pm tonight, it's one of those days. I also found out last night that my brother and his family are moving to Melbourne in a few months time. That means that half my family are in another state. I'm excited for them and know just how great a big life change can be, but I can't help but feel sad that we won't see them as much anymore. I guess it's a great excuse to visit Melbourne more often though right?

Anyway, enough about all that. It's not all doom and gloom. We had a great weekend. Spent some time with old and new friends, ate some great food, drank probably too much wine. Hosted a lovely lunch, sat in the shade of the tree chatting and nattering, marvelled at the sunshine, watched the kids run wild and have a ball and also got some time in the garden. Yes, it wasn't all bad at all.

This week I plan on getting some rest. I plan on doing everything I can to get Harper rested and in her bed. I plan on helping Daisy stay cool, calm and collected, rested and ready for all her days at School. We will have some visits from various Gma's, some ballet and some swimming. It's looking pretty vanilla this week ahead, and it's just about all we need {and can cope with} around here.

Fresh Horses

2012-02-04T16:28:00.000+11:00

See an actual link is easier right?

Tired. Tired. Tired.

2012-02-03T08:08:00.000+11:00

We have had one night of uninterrupted sleep since the 10th December last year. We had one night where Harper slept in her bed all night when we were away at the hut last week, but she still woke and had to be settled (which I could do from my bed) so I am also counting that as a good nights sleep. Before December I can't remember how long it had been but I am happy to put my hand up and say that we have had 3 (tops) good nights sleep in as many months.

This is bullshit.

I am no princess when it comes to the sleeping. I have dealt with more than my fair share of the shitty sleep. Night terrors, night mares, sitting whilst sleep comes, crawling on the floor waiting for the escape from my children, I have done it all (except hopping in the cot with my kids. Yes I do know someone who has done that). I know bad sleep. I can deal with bad sleep. I suck it up and get on with it with relatively little impact, if my little you mean I only scowl cruel, heartless, venomous attacks at my husband in the middle of the night because I absolutely resent the fact that I have to deal with it while he lays in bed even though he is awake through sheer fear of what will be thrown at him. Ahem. When I have little, little babies I am happy to wake up to 4 times a night to feed for hours at a time, I do it. I get on with it. It's just the relentlessness of these past months that has been harder than before. The not knowing what to do, why it's happening, and being seemingly unable to help that has blown the big one.

Yesterday afternoon we saw an ENT about Harper with our belief that she had sleep apnea. From spending many times on the floor of her room, and then also when she was in our bed with us, we knew that her snoring had gotten worse over the same period of time that her sleep had deteriorated. We knew that she woke after she appeared to stop breathing, then she would cough, and splutter and cry and wake up again. She would get back to sleep, only to do this 5 or 6 or 15 more times before eventually getting into a deeper sleep. Classic signs of sleep apnea. And we were right, she does, and she has enlarged tonsils which aren't helping and in one months time she will be getting a tonsillectomy and having the tonsils and adenoids removed. We will be in hospital for a night, then a week or so of recovery and then, hopefully then, the kid will get some better quality sleep. We all will. And we won't feel like the living dead. The cute living dead. Her not me.

Bring that shit ON.

Children get older

2012-02-02T15:38:00.000+11:00

I'm getting older too.

She did it. We all did it. Daisy didn't look back (of course). I clearly remember my first day of Primary School. I remember lamenting over the teacher choice with my older brother and sister, and complaining about all the homework that I had (when I didn't) because they did. I was finally a big kid. At last! When we all just picked Daisy up she informed us that she can now "read-ed stuff". The apple doesn't fall far from the tree...

Fried crap with a side of wooze

2012-02-02T07:23:00.002+11:00

Being away last week we were eating out quite a bit. You take for granted the whole eating 3 meals a day thing at home until you are eating out breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks when you are on holidays. I realised a few things.

: Eating out costs money. Der
: Kids food when eating out is shit house
: The cost of what you pay for what you get is beyond warped

The first night we looked around for something open early as the girls (and us) were a little frazzed after a long trip and the only option was a pub. This suited us because it meant that Rob and I could legitimately down schnooers of Coopers at a rapid rate and fit right in. This pub's menu was no different to a number of places we ate at over the course of the week. The same crap offered each and every time. Even the kids weren't eating the stuff by the end it was: Fish and chips. Nuggets and chips. Chicken schnitzel and oh, chips and perhaps a pasta with tomato sauce. Depressing isn't it? I'm all for the occasional Happy Meal or bowl of chips, heck, I have been known to feed my kids dinner from the vending machine at the pub (what? Burger rings are so a meal and you know it!) but when you attempt to feed your kids semi healthy meals every night, it's so disconcerting to only have this sort of shit on offer. Sure, it's pretty rare that you are eating out all the time, but if you were - then it's not pretty and it wouldn't take long for the novelty to wear off. And if you think it sounded like shit on the menu, just wait till you see it when the plate hits the table. A few dried up bits of something with some chips.

A few months ago I saw my mate Ruth from Gourmet Girlfriend sharing a kids menu from a local place. I was amazed and jealous at the delicious, simple food. It's the sort of stuff that kids would devour: chicken wings, rice paper rolls, ribs - all done with some care and nutritional insight and hey! Even some herbs! Sure, the stuff looks great on screen, but I bet it would taste a bit better than some fried nuggets even if it looked half as good as these shots.

Why is it that the food offered is so nasty? If it's the cost, then surely cutting some carrot & celery sticks and chucking some hummus into a bowl wouldn't cost more than that? Is it the cost of the labour involved? Throwing something straight from the freezer into the fryer is easier than marinating ribs I suppose. Why do kids meals exist? Why don't they just offer the one menu and you have to adapt from there? We went to one place for lunch that did just that and we ended up getting the kids a cheese platter. They turned their noses up at the blue, but gave the olives, and figs and other crackers & cheeses a red hot go and with more enthusiasm than the other crap too.

What sort of stuff would you put on a kids menu? I think I would throw on ribs & rice, marinated chicken wings, stirfries, cutlets and on the side of everything I would throw on cherry tomatoes, cucumber/carrot/celery sticks/avocado/cheese and it would be eaten. I know there is the notion of "treats" when eating out but do you guys find this kind of thing depressing? And expensive? Would you eat out more if you had better food on offer? Can I ask any more questions? I'm trying to be a blogger that starts conversations. Can you tell?

The photo at the top is of Daisy (a little younger than Harper is now) when we were in Paris. If you are in Paris chips are Pomme Frites and that's OK don't you know? Snort.

Bev's time to shine

2012-02-01T07:48:00.000+11:00

Last year was too soon. We had been here for 5 minutes, still finding our feet, deep in the depths of organising & hosting my little sister's Hen's weekend. Yes, the timing was all wrong.

But not this year. Oh no friends, 2012 might be known as the year of the Dragon, but round these parts, it's also known as the year of the Mac. The Macdonald that is. The BETH Macdonald that is.

It's showtime MOFO's. Show time!

In just over a month our local show will be held over the hill and I plan on entering a little baked good. Which baked good? Who knows! BUT it will be entered. It will be displayed. And it will get a ribbon. OK, maybe not, but can you imagine if I got a ribbon? Proudest. Moment. Ever. {besides the whole having children and marrying a good man bit} but at least my second or third proudest. Moment. Ever.

So. What shall I do? WHAT SHALL I DO?

Let's look at the categories shall we?

Formally Decorated Iced Cake - e.g. wedding with leaves, flowers, buds etc.
Most creatively decorated cake - mounted on board
Champion decorated iced cake
Prize money in Classes 3 - 10: 1st $7.00, 2nd $3.00, donated by Mrs Margaret Whatman

With prize money like that? Why wouldn't you get on board?

Chocolate Sponge - mock cream filled, not iced
Plain Sponge - jam filled only
Sponge Roll - jam filled only
Sponge - any other variety mock cream filled, not iced
Champion sponge - Classes 3-6 Rita hindmarsh Memorial Award & Ribbon. Donated by Robertson Show Society Show Auxiliary

Imagine being the Champion sponge? A girl can dream.

Sultana Cake - 20cm (8”) tin
Fruit Cake - light -20cm (8”)
Fruit Cake - dark -20cm (8”)
Plum Pudding
Chocolate Cake - iced
Orange Cake - iced
Marble Cake - iced
Butter Cake - iced
Banana Cake - lemon iced
Sour Cream Cake
Carrot Cake - iced with cream cheese filling
Six Butterfly Cakes - not cooked in paper
Six Patty Cakes - iced but not cooked in paper
Six Biscuits - 2 Varieties
Favourite Slice - 6 Pieces 2 Varieties
Six Plain Scones
Six Date Scones
Six Muffins
Date Loaf
Apple Pie
Plate of Coconut Ice
Plate Home Made Chocolates
Specimen of Cooking not other wise specified.
Specimen of gluten free cookery
Rich Fruit Cake - see compulsory recipe

Please read rules & regulations carefully.
Exhibits in this section must be made by exhibitor.
All cakes to be exhibited on firm flat cardboard, covered with baking paper.
Cardboard must be same size as the cake.
Baking papers to be removed from all cakes
Packet Mixtures not to be used unless specified.
No Ring Tins or spring form pans to be used.

What on earth is specimen of cooking not other wise specified? Also, don't fence me in with a compulsory recipe with the fruit cake - you just can't make me. Rob will be entering a sauce of some description and we have until 8am on the 8th March before they have to be submitted for judging. So. Over to you dear readers. What do you reckon? My thoughts at this early stage are 6 plain scones AND Date loaf. Only because I know I can do them already. But should I scatter the whole field in hope that something will come up trumps? How will I possibly lose weight whilst sampling and practicing? Do I have this in me?

Quieting my mind

2012-01-31T13:24:00.000+11:00

This morning I spent 3(!) hours pruning back the 5 star jasmine & 1 clematis bushes down the side verandah. I cut, pruned, shaped, raked, swept and cleaned up the mess over and over and over again in the hot sunshine. This was after I went for my first run in exactly 3 weeks. The run time was not good, but it was a start. I have done 4 loads of washing, made 3 beds, unpacked the dishwasher, made lists cleaned up.

Anyone would think I was trying to distract myself.

If I start to stop too much I find my mind thinking about a few things, so it's best to keep busy. I think. It's noisy in my head...

: I hope we can get Harper into that ENT earlier, I really need to hassle the receptionist
: What if she doesn't have sleep apnoea and this is just how badly she sleeps?
: I wonder how many nights in a row I can go waking every 1.5-2 hours?
: I wonder how Daisy will go on Thursday?
: I need to get her a new hat
: I wonder if I can lose a few kilos in the next few weeks
: I need to call the babysitter about Saturday night
: I wonder how the babysitter will go with Harper sleeping so badly at the moment?
: I hope Rob's work is OK
: I think I need to start thinking about work
: I wonder where I'll work again. When? Where?!
: I need to prune the bushes out the front
: I need to zero all the weeds in the driveway
: I need to clean out the garage
: I need to somehow get rid of all the green stuff to the tip maybe? There's so much.
: I need to weed the septic tank. Again. I hate that septic tank.
: I need a new laundry basket. I wonder if I can get a nice cane one somewhere?
: I need to wash the car. Inside and out.
: Is there anything more boring than cleaning your car yourself?
: Why am I still tackling the same old issues with the same old people?
: What will we have for dinner tonight?
: I wonder if Harper will sleep tonight?
: I need to go to the Post Office
: If I go to the Post Office the kids will make me go to the park
: I hate the fucking park
: I need a coffee

I think it's time to tackle that garage don't you?

Forever young

2012-01-30T08:18:00.000+11:00

I was driving home from Sydney last night with my biggest girl in the backseat watching a DVD and my Ipod on shuffle. The next thing I know, Bob is on, singing to me and I sat there, tears pouring down my face. This girl of mine, she's bigger. She's growing up. She's about to take her first really big step in growing up, and I have to let go. She's ready, she is so ready, and I guess that means I am too.

I've done my bits - the manners, the kindness, the patience while she's done all the other bits in her own time, with her own determination and will - the eating, the sleeping, the walking, running, talking, joking, the learning.

There is so much I want for Daisy in her life time. I want self confidence, I want a thirst for knowledge, kindness to others, a family filled with love and support, laughter, happiness, acceptance, balance, exploration and so much more. Whilst we will continue to guide her along the way - reigning her in as she goes - it's this first letting go, to others, that seems to be the hardest for this first time Mama.

Rob's Dad used these lyrics in his speech he gave to Rob and I at our wedding and while they have always been special to me, as a parent myself now, they seem all the more poignant than they were 7 years ago.

May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young

May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
May you stay forever young

May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
And may your song always be sung
May you stay forever young

Good luck my precious girl. You make me happier and prouder than I ever thought I could be each and every day of your sweet life.

Spy Kids 4D {winners!}

2012-01-30T07:14:00.000+11:00

Apologies! This is a week late. I know. And I promised that it would help with School holidays and now they have gone back. Sorry! Anyway, better late than never right? Here are the 4 winners chosen from this post and the 19 comments left on there.

8 ANGIE CLARE
15 MARY AND LIL
3 LINDA FROM OEKE
2 MELISSA B

Peeps can you shoot me an email to redbootsbeth@hotmail.com and I will send them off to you ASAP. I will even head out in this Godforsaken wet, miserable weather to do it to make up for my tardiness.

Enjoy!

Snowy Mountains Sojourn: The Hut

2012-01-28T09:34:00.000+11:00

I thought I better give the wee hut where we stayed it's own post. It deserved it. It was teeny tiny, all one room with a huge fire place, a wood fire stove, 2 small hotplates, a small tin bathroom out the back and best of all....a heated slab and good quality linen! It has been built by the owner Brett in the traditional method that huts were made back in the day and similar to many of them that are scattered throughout the hiking trails in the mountains. It was such a good reminder that you don't need much - the girls absolutely adored sleeping in the same room as us and slept more soundly than they have in weeks - we had 4 plates, 4 cups, 4 knives and forks. It's all you need. Would the novelty wear off? Of course it would, but for 3 nights it was perfect.

There were chooks wondering about, eggs to collect, fish to catch right out the front, a jetty on which to sit and sip a wine on, a verandah for reading and an outside fire that had me in heaven - chopping, collecting wood, setting the fire and then cooking a simple dinner on it - that is my idea of simple perfection!

If you are ever down that neck of the woods I would highly recommend staying there for a night or two. One thing though the website made out that you were in the middle of nowhere (which you are) but the owners house is also on the property (and the neighbours house quite close too) and if wanted to be totally on your own then this isn't the place for you. I don't do B&B's polite chit chat well and this was the only downside for me. You could only do it if there were 4 of you - it's a tight squeeze - but oh so cute. I'd love to go back and have a crack in the winter months just to have a chance of waking up to some snow!

Moonbah Hut
Jindabyne NSW 2627
02 6457 8311
0412 280 412

Snowy Mountains Sojourn

2012-01-27T17:18:00.000+11:00

We left Monday morning to a drizzly, misty Highlands morning only to get past Canberra and get some glimpses of sunshine that lead to 4 days of pure sunshine and blue skies as soon as we hit the Snowy Mountains.

There was some fishing, some reading, some swimming, some drinking, some fire gazing, some sightseeing, some mountain climbing, plenty of driving, lots of laughter, plenty of whinging and fighting and shouting and some memories that we will have forever.

I seriously fell in love with that part of the world. The big sky. The mountains. The clear air and the beautiful vistas around each corner. We drove over the mountains, through the mountains up and down them and I have to say that the babbling brooks and streams, yellow grasses, silver gum trees are some of the prettiest I have seen in this country of ours. It was a great place to spend Australia Day, a wonderful time for me to disconnect from the outside world and a chance for the kids to just be. Play. Make stuff up because there wasn't much else to do.

Now, back to reality.

Just call me Bev: Episode 16 {The Sunday Roast}

2012-01-22T07:56:00.000+11:00

We have eaten out almost every night this week which is pretty rare because it's expensive and I usually LOVE to cook. But with the non sleeping feral toddler sucking most of the energy straight out of me, it's what we have done. And that's OK because? On Thursday we won the meat raffle at the pub! And it's not just any meat tray it was a cracking leg of lamb and a bottle of wine. Classy like. The meat was from our butcher so I knew it was going to be a cracker and this morning after a cooked breakfast I decided that we would roll a traditional roast dinner with all the trimmings. Classy like. Sometimes the classics just make everything better right?

Lamb Roast
2-3 kg leg o' lamb (depending on how many mouths to feed)
Rosemary
Garlic
Potatoes
Sweet potatoes
Green Beans

Gravy
Tablespoon plain flour
Water

Mint Sauce
2 Tablespoons red currant jelly
2 Tablespoons red wine vinegar
1/2 bunch of mint, roughly chopped

: To start with I make incisions over the leg with the sharp point of the knife about 1cm wide and the same deep. Slice garlic and break up sprigs of rosemary into smaller little "trees".

: Shove that garlic and rosemary in all those slits and drizzle over a little olive oil, lather in sea salt and pepper. Whack into an oven at say 180 degrees for 1-1.5 hours depending on size. I like my lamb a little pink.

: Get a small person to wash the vegies for you and cut into large chunks with same salt, pepper and rosemary over it's back. Allow for 1 hour cooking time so chuck in whenever you know that the meat will be done by. For me, this was 30 mins into cooking because I knew the lamb would take 1.5 hours to cook. You know?

: Into a small saucepan chuck in 2 heaped tablespoons of good red currant jelly, 2 tablespoons of red wine vinegar and dissolve over heat.

: When dissolved throw in the mint and take off the heat to allow to sit a minute before transferring to a serving jug/bowl

: I find the older the jug, the better. This was my Grandma Dot's and it pleases me no end to use it - especially on something that I know she used to make me which I adored. Circle of Life or something...

: Allow about 20 mins for your meat to rest. I know that seems a lot, and I know you think it will go cold, but it just won't. Trust me. Wrap it in foil and then wrap it again in a tea towel and forget about it. Move onto that roasting tray for the gravy. Or as Harper likes to call it - the GRABY!

: Trim some beans (these local beauties from a neighbour did the trick nicely) but you could use broccolini, or peas, or whatever takes your fancy.

: I forgot to take more shots of the gravy making, but my step mother in law (that's a mouthful!) showed me how to make 'proper' gravy and since I know, I haven't looked back. It's DEAD easy. Promise.

: You know how your pan has all those burnt, yummy bits in the bottom when you have taken the roasting rack out? Well that's the gravy! Whack the hot roasting pan onto your stove top once you have taken your meat out rest. Throw in about a tablespoon of plain flour and scrape as much of those dark bits off with your spoon. Then add in water and stir. Stir. Stir. And then stir. Scraping/lifting all those bits up as you go. You could use stock if you had some, but water does the trick. It will start to thicken and look yum, take it off the heat and set aside. The darker the pan is when you start - the darker your gravy will be!

: Carve your meat, whack the greens on and then start to plate up. Chuck the gravy back onto the heat until hot again and transfer to a jug. Serve up and wait for the "oohs!" and "ahhs" that you will get. You will get them.

: Drown in gravy and mint sauce and devour. Can you see where I always use my finger to scrape the last bit of sauce from my plate? Classy like.

The roast is such an easy meal to make. Although it does require a little timing at the end - while it's cooking you can sit back and drink wine and entertain guests and enjoy the smells of it roasting away in the oven. Chicken, pork, beef - it's all the same principal and you can change the vegies to whatever is in season or you like. And the best bit? My very favourite bit? The leftover cold vegies smeared on toast the next day with a shit load of butter and lashings of salt and pepper. The meat on sambo's I can leave for Rob, but those vegies? Mine. All mine.

Enjoy!

Escape

2012-01-21T08:06:00.000+11:00

It's been over 2 weeks since we got back from our summer break up at the farm and since then it seems like it's been an endless time (and what feels like an uphill battle) to get the kids into some kind of routine before the School term starts. Trying to get them sleeping better - we can continue to dream - trying to get them a little less over tired, a little less feral and in between greeting an endless stream of visitors stopping in for a night, or a few, or just an afternoon. I'm really tired. Properly tired.

On Monday we are heading to the Snowy Mountains to a wee cabin in the middle of nowhere for 3 nights. Just the four of us. No TV. No computers. Just wide open spaces, stars, creeks to explore and nature to be in. Will it drive me crackers? Probably. But I can't possibly be any more frazzled or tired so bring it on! I have visions of us sitting by the fire playing boardgames, then Rob and I enjoying a simple fish supper I have cooked from his catching earlier in the day. I know the reality will be kids saying they are "Bored" and Rob pissing off and fishing for hours at a time while I wonder what the hell I can do when we have discovered that's there's not much else to do besides pick wild flowers, but I can't help but feel a little excited about a change of scene. And somewhere I have never been before too. The mountains! While there won't be snow, I know there will be pretty. And there will be the four of us. And with just over a week before School and the year "properly" starting...bring it on.

I'm not sure I'll get a post up while we are away (what with the whole no computer thing I have said just before) but I'm sure I'll be on Facebook or twitter recounting just how much fun! We! Are! Having!

Show on the road {Spy Kids 4D}

2012-01-19T09:06:00.000+11:00

Did you know there are still 2 weeks left of School Holidays? Yep. 2. I know, because I have asked every single mother I know including Kylie who works behind the bar at the Pub, that most kids have been a little revolting post Christmas. Demanding, needy, whinging, and in desperate need of some routine again. I don't have the answers to make it better, but what I do have is a DVD or (4!) from Roadshow that I can give to you so that you have a guaranteed 89 minutes to do something else besides put out fights. Or scream at your kids.

Now, the lovely peeps at Roadshow have sent me 4 of these bad boys to give to you. And they look exactly like this one below which means (from what I can gather) that they are for BLU RAY PLAYERS ONLY. So, if you don't have one of these (like me) there's no point in entering unless of course you are going to give it away to someone who does.

It's in 4D which means that you can watch it in 3D and then it has these scratch and sniff bits that you scratch and well, sniff, along the way with the film. Sounds like fun right? So, want one? Leave a comment below and I'll choose 4(!) winners on Sunday night 22nd January 2012 at 8pm AEST. I'll announce the winners, the winners send me their addresses and I send them off. Easy!

Good luck.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to MOFO Day 4 of swimming School camp.

Ladies who lunch

2012-01-18T16:22:00.000+11:00

My Mum arrived yesterday afternoon for a few days down here much to the excitement of the girls (and me). When Mum visits it's an excuse to pop a bottle of Prosecco earlier than usual, an excuse to hit the shops and today and excuse to head out to lunch, just the two of us. Rob took Daisy and Harper off to swimming this morning so Mum and I headed into town to shop, shop (I may or may not own 4 new tops!), rehydrate with coffee, shop and then eat a loooong leisurely lunch...my very favourite kind of lunch.

We ate a local place that has just been hit up with a hat and that specialises in an amazing market garden that is used in every dish. We ate at the tapas/lounge section, opened with a Prosecco and had a selection of the most delicious, seasonal sharing plates.

A salad of homemade ricotta and heirloom tomatoes.

Some chilli whole fried School prawns. You just ate those bad boys whole.

Pea, mint and persian fetta salad. Shut. UP.

A selection of three desserts my favourite being a choc semi freddo with salted caramel POPCORN.

Some coffees and honeycomb to finish.

Looking out into the beautiful gardens with all this amazing food, my Mum and a few crisp wines, well that's about as good as a Wednesday afternoon gets.

Get there if you can. Seriously. Go.

Biota Dining
Kangaloon Rd Bowral
4862 2005

Shit Bloggers Say

2012-01-17T09:00:00.002+11:00

Cause we do. Right? Follow on twitter here.

And BTW? How clever is my husband for putting this together for us! I really owe him a blozza this time...

The evolution of Rosie Macdonald

2012-01-16T08:31:00.000+11:00

Saturday afternoon we had the arrival of the Woogs clan to our house for the night. The visit was fabulous and everyone got on swimmingly. What a delightful family! Those boys? Including Mr Woog? Gorgeous, inside and out. We went and had a drink at the pub, I fed the children a nutritious meal of sausage rolls for dinner, we drank champagne and ate a shit load of cheese, we lit the fire pit and cooked a fabulous dinner, I showed Harry how to make Bearnaise sauce and he made the pear and rhubarb crumble for dessert as well as setting the table for me. We drank wine, I even smoked a few ciggies with Mrs W. Rob and Mr W played darts. The kids slept, we had pancakes and coffee and packed down on the couch in the morning. It was quite fabulous and if I wasn't having such a good time I would have taken more photos showing you all.

But the Macdonald who got the most of it? Rosie. The Guinea Pig.

As you may or may not know, The Woog's have Guinea Pigs. Two of them! (who knew you should have two of them? Not me). And as soon as she saw Rosie she whisked her out of her cage where she has spent all of her life (8 months) with us here. She was cuddled up to Mrs Woog's ample bosom and she scratched that Guinea Pig until Rosie was squeaking with delight (who knew they squeaked with delight? Not me). Rosie was released inside where you could almost hear her saying "How long that this shit been going on?" She loved herself sick. My girls were beside themselves picking her up and putting her here, and there, and Rosie was cool with it. She got some more scratches from Mrs Woog and after a spin her in new wheels, she parked the car, bipped the alarm on and she was returned back to her cage where she collapsed with pure joy, excitement and exhaustion. Needless to say, Rosie's life is changed. Forever. For the better, because of the visit. And we have to get to the pet shop this week to get another one of the fuckers. Who knew they needed company? Not me. I wonder if I will be able to get them to squeak with joy in the same way? I can try.

There was also a certain almost 5 year old girl who's heart was stolen. One Daisy Macdonald. By a certain 6 year old Jack Woog. They danced together, swapped clothes, slept in her new bunk beds, swapped necklaces and bangles and even got married yesterday morning. I performed the ceremony while Mrs W watched on from the comfort of the blanket on the couch. If she kissed him once, she kissed him a thousand times - and they were proper lip smackers with full gusto - she's a little like her mother when she sees something she likes. Jack will be back next holidays to stay for a week. It's been decided.

Mrs Woog and I will be feisty Grandmothers won't we?

Just call me Bev: Episode 15 {old gold}

2012-01-14T08:35:00.000+11:00

My Father in law has been pestering me for oh, 7 years or so, to make a childhood favourite dessert that his mother used to make for him as a boy. I've promised, and promised, and never actually delivered but while we were away I decided to bite the bullet and have a crack. It's a simple dessert, English I think, and something that both kids and kids at heart will love as a summery pudding. Perfect for this time of year.

Nala's Apple Snow
: 6 green apples
: 3 tablespoons water
: 1 cup white sugar
: 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
: 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
: 2 egg whites

: Peel, core & chop the apples and put into a saucepan with the 3 tablespoons of water. Cover and cook until softened and bubbling (about 15 minutes)

: Sieve or blitz the apples once they are softened into a smooth mixture. I made this first without sieving and it wasn't as good. Yep, I made it twice.

: Add in the sugar, vanilla and cinnamon until dissolved and set aside to cool

: Whip 2 egg whites until stiff peaks have formed. Stiff peaks always makes me laugh.

: Fold into the cooled apple mixture trying not to get rid of too much air our of the egg whites

: Serve with a generous dollop of vanilla ice cream. My Father in law suggested the mixing of the ice cream into the snow as the best way to eat it - like any 6 year old kid would do. My girls loved it too and I must admit for something so simple it was delicious and will def get a run down here at home served up in our fancy Riedel glasses to make it look a little better. Enjoy!

Friday on my mind

2012-01-13T08:10:00.000+11:00

Well, what do you know? It's Friday! We are all a little bleary eyed, voices a little hoarse from the yelling and the disciplining but you know what? I think we have PROGRESS! Daisy has managed to go to sleep, in her own bed, BY HERSELF, AND STAY HERE for a few nights in a row. Harper is managing the transition to her big girl bed well, waking 4 times a night sure, but going back to sleep, IN HER BED ALL NIGHT LONG. It's progress, small sure, but I'll take it. The feral behaviour can be addressed next week right?

This weekend I have the fabulous Woog clan coming down to stay. Today I will spend the day trying to get the children to practice pronouncing "Mrs Woog". Daisy is excited she has a fellow ballet dancer coming to stay and I will continue to tell Rob that real people from the internet can be fabulous and he and Mr Woog will have a bromance that will last long after the weekend passes. They can stand around drinking beer and get hard ons looking at our lawn and ride on mower at least while Mrs W and I guzzle champagne and toast our brillance.

Today I am also over at another blog. I know, I'm all over the web like a rash. Snort. My friend Bridget (Tai Tai) is having her first baby in a week and I sent her a little note with a few hints and tips. She mustn't have been too scarred, because she has published it AND even had some nice things to say about me to. Why don't you head on over, have a look and send her one of your own pearls?

Oh, and have a fabulous weekend!

Seeker

2012-01-12T08:33:00.000+11:00

I used to live with this man. We were together for many years until the day, when all of a sudden I left him. Just like that.

For months, it could have even been longer than that, he had a "friendship" with this young girl who he was associated with through work. Like any teenage girl who is insecure and trying to find her way in the world she looked up to him. Idolised him. And adored him. I hated her. I hated her mostly because she was a version of me, I wanted to slap her and say "Don't waste your time here. You are better than this 25 year old boy who is getting a kick out of having someone idolise him for a change." I had been that teenage girl, instead of believing of what was inside, which was more than good enough, I searched for it in boys. In men. In anyone who would make me feel wanted. Special. Even if just for a few hours. Stupid girl. Stupid me.

The friendly text messages became more often. I found myself distrustful. Doubting. Wondering. When he would get home from work and hop in the shower, I would check his phone. I memorised her number. This stupid girl's number. I scoured through his phone bills (that were incidentally in my name and being paid by me) and saw tens of calls to her in any given week. I questioned. I wondered. I doubted. I fought. For truth. Just an answer. All the while sick with wonder and doubt and distrust in my partner and myself. That mother fucker. Making me doubt myself. It ate me up. Consumed me. Suffocated our lounge room, our time in the car, our home. My biggest regret about it? About all of it? I never heard the truth. I couldn't live with myself sitting around and hoping for it.

My Dad had an affair with a family friend while he was married to my mother. She is now my step mother and after many, many years we all have a wonderful relationship together. I love them both, dearly. Not long after he left my mother I begged him for the truth. For me sure, but for my mother. An answer. The truth. Something, just to fucking man up and tell the goddamn truth. I gave him an ultimatum to tell me the truth, or not have a relationship with him. He chose the lies, they were so familiar I suppose. I'm not sure how long I didn't speak to him for after that. I think it was 6 months, it could have been weeks. I am stubborn and fiery and look out if you get in my way. But give me your heart? Your honour? I will walk over broken glass for you. Before too long the sadness and anger just made me tired. It took a whole lot of energy to be that angry with someone all the time. Eventually I sucked it up because I wanted a Dad in my life, as broken as a father figure as he was, than no father at all.

I am desperately, constantly seeking the truth in my world. I need it, just like I need oxygen or pork. If you don't like my dinner, tell me. Tell me. If you think I am wrong about something. Tell me. If I have upset you in some way, tell me. Let me make it better.

Talk. About. It.

Is it messy? And uncomfortable? And hard? Of course it is. But it's real. It's the truth. I know all about not knowing. I know how hard it can be. I know the questions and doubts that make a person sick to the stomach. The wondering. The sheer mind fuckery that comes from someone holding something over you because they are weak and they cannot face the truth.

I hope for any of you out there currently seeking the truth, that you find it. And take comfort in it. It will set you free.

There's no place like it

2012-01-11T08:10:00.000+11:00

Ever since we arrived home from holidays my children have been revolting. A little harsh? You should see what I just wrote and deleted! It's like they used up all their good behaviour at their Grandparent's place over the past 11 days so that they have nothing left except over tiredness, whinging, ungratefulness, talking back, eye rolling feralness.

The talking back, the fighting, the grumpiness, the sheer cockiness, and smugness coming from my 4 year old is staggering. The copying and imitation of all of this by the 2 year old is hilarious and a welcome tension breaker. But I have to say that Rob and I are at wit's end because everything we say seems to have ZERO impact. Not helping is the distinct lack of rest occurring in every single person in the house as we struggle to get back to some kind of normal sleep patterns and routines. I know I'm not alone, it's happening in most houses all over the place as kids who have gotten just about everything they wanted over Christmas seem to think that this should now be the "norm". More frightening is the fact that we have 3(!) MOFO weeks left before School goes back. Today I have to try to convince Rob to not deconstruct the new bunk beds he spent all of Monday putting together just to make a point to Daisy. I have to make some kind of stupid sticker chart (again) to try and get them back into line. Tell me this is just adjustment after holidays? Tell me it's just the tiredness talking? Tell me my patience and resistance is low because I am exhausted? Tell me how to make it better. Tell me a funny joke. Tell me anything.

Happy Holidays? Hmmm.

Let the games begin {again}

2012-01-10T06:56:00.000+11:00

It's been about 6 or so weeks since our littlest has been sleeping like shit. Before this? Well we could put her in bed at 6.30pm without any fuss and then be sure to see her sometime after 6.30am the next day. No waking. No fuss. Brilliant. And of course, not to last. We decided to take the easy {and now painful} route of letting her hop into bed with us. She went back to sleep, I got sleep, Rob got sleep, and her bigger sister wasn't woken and got sleep. Win. Win. Win. WIN. We also knew that Christmas and a holiday was looming with lots of visitors and a trip away so there was no point in playing hard cop, getting progress to be back to square one when she was sharing a room with us for 2 weeks while we were away. Clearly, any excuse would do if it meant that I got a good night's sleep.

We are now home and the waking happens earlier and earlier each night. Sometimes after just 3 hours and the co sleeping thing just isn't working anymore. A mattress on the floor doesn't work either, she just gets up and climbs between the two warm comfort of her parent's bodies. I have been dreading getting home because I knew it meant sleepless nights. Again. Sigh. It meant me teaching her all over again how to sleep, how to get back to sleep, and how to stay asleep. It meant tears {from both of us} it meant hard yards on the cold bedroom floor again. But it will be worth it, because I will have my bed back, and that's important to us again.

So. Last night was first night that she slept in a big girl bed. The cot has been packed away, most likely forever, and I now have two children that sleep in beds. How did that happen? Daisy has moved into bunk beds in her room {sleeping up the top of course} which Harper will eventually move into when she figures out the whole bed thing. Last night was night one. Daisy went to sleep all by herself for the first time in almost 5 years. She did it. I didn't have to sit and wait for sleep to come. If this manages to happen again, it will be a MOFO breakthrough for us. Well me at least. Harper went to bed, and managed to get up approximately 14 times or more. I lost count. Thud and then possum feet running down the hallway to get another book, or tell us something. Again. Sleep eventually came after almost 2 hours but she got there. When she woke at midnight and again and 3 I did my time, like mothers do, getting her to stay in her bed until we heard at 5.45am this morning - thud and then possum feet into our bedroom.

I'm tired. I'm hoping that today will be a little easier. I'm committed. I'm sad that I officially have no more babies. I'm excited to be in this whole new phase of our family. And I need a coffee...

Just call me Bev: Episode 14 {the dirty stop out}

2012-01-09T07:19:00.002+11:00

I bet there a million diets/health kicks/detox's starting today right? I know I am going to force my 3 kilo heavier body up a mountain, try not to eat bread and stay off the booze for a few days. It actually started yesterday - I find it best to pick a random day, a random month and just go for it. I remember watching Nigella a few years ago now and in one of her shows she talked about "Temple Food" which is stuff she cooks when she is hung over, or trying to feel better about herself. After a month of pure indulgence I decided that yesterday our family could all do with some Temple Food. First on the list whenever we want this or whenever anyone is feeling a little woozy? My chicken noodle soup of course!

Beth's Chicken Noodle Soup
: 2 chicken breasts
: Half bunch shallots
: Half bunch coriander
: 2 grated garlic cloves (if you have a cold double this)
: Knob of fresh ginger
: Stick of lemongrass
: 2 red chillis
: Noodles
: 1 litre chicken stock
: Decent splash of soy sauce
: Couple drops of sesame oil

: Chop your shallots and coriander and set aside

: Grate the garlic & ginger
: Remove woody outer bits of lemongrass & chop
: Chop red chili's removing seeds

: Chop chicken into 2cm chunks

: Into a large pot add the chicken stock and throw in all the chopped ginger, garlic & lemongrass. I left the red chilli aside as the kids can't quite take it...yet.

: After a minute or so add almost all the shallots & coriander leaving some aside for presentation

: Just as the soup starts to bubble add the raw chicken pieces in to poach (this will only take a few minutes). Then throw in the noodles at the end as they only need a minute at most.

: Tong the noodles into the bowls then ladle in the soup on top making sure everyone gets a little bit of everything. I go heavy on the noodles & chicken for my 2 year old and then heavy on the soup for my 4 year old because it's her favourite.

: Top with shallots, coriander and for the adults chilli - lots of chilli. Slurp & enjoy!

: After 10 or so minutes of peace & quiet because everyone has demolished their dinner it will look a little like this.

: Don't you love the mess a 2 year old can make? The wiping up off the floor is my least favourite part of meal time.

This soup is guaranteed to make you feel better. Slurping that hot garlicky, gingery soup warms the cockles of the coldest heart. Promise. And for all of you out there attempting a health kick - good luck! Be kind to yourself, be realistic, be proud and in any case...just do it!

Predictable.

2012-01-08T13:51:00.000+11:00

Because I end up feeling like this each and every MOFO year in the first week of January I'm going to let this do the talking. I'm far too sick of myself to write an entire post about my hopes and dreams for the year only to be back at the start of another, feeling puzactly the same way.

Is this going to the year for me? For making something? Out of somewhere? I think it's time to step the fuck aside.

Yes, that

2012-01-05T09:51:00.000+11:00

: The joy that comes with the first bite into salty, crispy, pork crackle
: The simple joy of being around people that you love
: The excitement of trying out a new recipe and tasting something new & delicious
: The taste of juicy, warm tomatoes that taste like tomatoes
: The hopes and plans for futures being made and dreams maybe coming true
: The first sip of a minty, ice cold mojito
: The time alone, in the quiet, thinking and just being
: The long, hot days
: The hair, that's turned curly from all the swimming
: The not rushing, no plans
: The warm cinnamon tea cake, fresh out of the oven with a steaming cup of tea
: The freedom that comes from the truth, finally

: Yes. That

Isn't she lovely?

2012-01-03T07:24:00.000+11:00

We have a new member of the family that will be coming home with us when we leave in the next few days. A sheep! A lovely sculptured sheep made out of old 44 gallon drums. It was our Christmas present from Rob's Dad and Step Mum and I am completely in love with her.

And look at the name of the label would you? EE-I-EE-I-O nonetheless! Isn't she going to look wonderful under the tree in our yard?

All is quiet

2012-01-02T13:31:00.000+11:00

On New years Day. And the day after. Finally summer is here. I could get used to this.

2011: The recap episode

2011-12-30T14:46:00.000+11:00

This will be the 7th year we have spent New Years Eve up here at the farm. Actually, we missed one year when we were in Paris, but other than that, this is where we see the year out and see the new one in. I'm always nostalgic at this time, the remembering of what has been in the year past and thinking about all that will come in the new - the unknown and the planned. I just had a read through my very last post last year and was interested to see that all the things I hoped and planned for were just as good as I thought they would be, and I even managed to achieve a few too. Winning! I can't believe that I actually am healthier and I actually can run some distance (never mind the wetting of the pants or the tomato red complexion that comes with that). I feel like I have made some great friends this year and like I have a proper female friendship that is real and funny and everything I hoped for a year ago (thank you Lee).

Without any of you having to tell me I know my life is blessed. Don't worry, I know. I am lucky enough to have my health, a supportive and loyal (and not to mention sex-ay) husband, two great kids who sure, don't sleep, but fill my heart to the brim with joy and happiness and wonder. I am lucky enough not to have to work, to have friends who live around us who love us and get us and hold our hands as we still find our feet in our new community. I am lucky enough to have travelled to some amazing places this year, to celebrate some special occasions at home and away with our friends and family and to be happy pretty much each day.

As sure as it will be a new year on Sunday morning, I know that things will not always be as bright as they are for us all right now. I know for sure that things happen, people get sick, people die, friendships fade and times get tough. I know that this year ahead will bring new challenges for our family - Daisy starting school, Rob starting a whole new phase of his career, Harper maybe joining a Preschool and for me, well who knows really? Perhaps some work. Perhaps not. Perhaps a new baby. Probably not. I do know that I will keep coming on here on most days, telling a little tale from my day, sharing a picture from my garden or table or some frivolous purchase that I have made (sorry Sally). You see, I feel like my life, right now, is like some amazing precious gift that I have been given. It's beyond amazing on most days - with travel, a beautiful home and garden filled with good food and wine, celebrations and ridiculously special things that I feel like I just have to share. Some bloggers tell their stories to make people laugh, to share their frustrations, to keepsake this time for their kids in the future or just to tell their tale, because it's one hell of a tale to tell. This blog is a little of all that for me - but mostly just to bring a little of the sparkle and goodness that I am lucky enough to have into your lives too. It's not much, it's certainly not changing the world, but I do know it brings me so much joy, and from all your comments and emails, it perhaps brings a little joy to your world too. So that's something. Silly and as small as it is, it's something.

So to you 2011, thank you for all of the wonderful things you brought to us. From where I am sitting, you looked pretty good to me.

And to 2012, I can't wait to see what you have planned for us all.

And to all of you, out there, Happy New Year! I can't wait to see each and every one of you when I open my laptop each day. I hope the new year is filled with happiness, patience, sleep, joy, frivolous purchases just because, French champagne, fulfilling careers, acceptance, delicious meals, forgiveness, a flowering garden, non judgement, love, lots of love and a whole lot of fun in between.

See you on the flip side.

Out.

These days

2011-12-29T13:05:00.000+11:00

The days start early, like they always do, when the birds start to sing and the sun is still rising. The girls hop into bed as soon as their grandparents are awake to snuggle in, read stories and watch them drink hot tea as they rub sleep from their eyes. The dog under the bed covers brings giggles of delight and growls of intolerance from the Jack Russell.

After breakfast we trot down to the pool to settle into swimming, sunshine and hopefully a page or two read from our books. It never happens, there is always someone to look out for, to watch, a new trick to acknowledge and admire. Lollies are used as bribery to get them out of the pool but are soon forgotten as they lie down on their towels and the sun dries up the drips of water on little arms and legs alongside the growing fruit trees in the orchard.

After lunch there is always something to see or do. A ride on a tractor, a walk down to the river, a drive in the truck to collect mail, or drop rubbish off.

Another swim is required to cool off before afternoon tea, more swims, walks and adventures.

Two exhausted girls crash into bed early, dreaming peacefully of the promise of the new day and all that it will bring. The adults toast the sunset with a wine under the wisteria followed by a delicious dinner, laughs and solving the problems of the world. This is our happy place. These are our summer holidays. And this? Is heaven.

Pink sky at night, Beth's delight

2011-12-28T07:36:00.000+11:00

After an 8 hour trip (in the mostly pissing down rain) door to door we arrived at the farm yesterday afternoon. And the strangest thing happened...there was sun. And blue skies. And in the evening? A sunset!

This place, it's my happy place. We are here for a week or so, soaking up the country air. Visiting the cows on the back of the truck. Going for swims. Venturing to the beach. Eating and drinking, napping and reading. The summer holidays have arrived.

A very BabyMachristmas: The Day

2011-12-26T08:56:00.000+11:00

Here are a few snippets from the last few days. It's been the most relaxed, fun, indulgent and delicious Christmases I can remember.

Holly and the Ivy

2011-12-22T16:50:00.000+11:00

Some holly picked from a paddock across the road, some twine on a few silver baubles and voila! My hallway is a Christmas delight.

This shit just makes me ridiculously happy.

I've been touched! By the spirit!

2011-12-21T20:43:00.002+11:00

Tunes for these crazy days

2011-12-21T13:08:00.000+11:00

I surround myself with people that are cooler than me in the hope that some of it will rub off on me. Oops! My secret is out. Luckily for me I have a husband who knows the cool - the films, the TV shows, the magazines, the random cool things from the internets. My little sister for all things related to retails. Especially clothes/jewelery etc. My brother in law being a chef keeps us in the loop on food - where to eat/what's hot and new (hello beef ribs I will make you soon). And then there are the gazillion things I find on the interwebs from all of you cool people out there - see? I am a nobody.

My big brother keeps me in the loop with the cool music alongside with Rob. He sends me little hints and tips, play lists that I inevitably download, like, and then can look cool when I recommend it to others. He sent me a cracking list last week and I asked him if I could share it on the blog - it was a good list - others might like it too. So I emailed him and his reply was something along the lines of "If you must" so I am. Because I must. This week I am spending a whole lotta time at home - mostly because of the rain, but because of the cooking and winding down after a busy year. These tunes are helping the time pass a little more pleasantly. Hope you enjoy them too!

1. Truth by Alexander Ebert
2. Video Games by Lana Del Rey
3. Hold On (featuring Sampha) by SBTRKT
4. I'm His Girl by Friends
5. I Changed My Mind (Stereo MC's Rattlesnake Mix) by Brand Lyrics
6. Car Song (featuring Santigold) by Spank Rock
7. Gabriel (featuring Valentina) by Joe Goddard
8. Awkward by San Cisco
9. Embody by SebastiAn
10. Hustler by Simian Mobile Disco
11. Pharaohs (featuring Rose Gabor) by SBTRKT

Now, I am off to the butcher to pick up many kilos of meat and get a gravy started before heading off to some Christmas drinks later on this afternoon. Tomorrow it's the first of the Christmas visitors to arrive, after a trip to the movies, Friday hair and then Saturday as much food prep as I can get done. It's a crazy time of the year isn't it? And I love it.

A very BabyMachristmas: The Menu

2011-12-20T09:54:00.000+11:00

I have been watching Lifestyle Food channel like a woman possessed by the Ghost of Christmas Lunch. I love to watch them, I could watch them all day, and they give me the Christmas spirit so it's like my medication. Or something. This week I was really excited because all the good new ones are on straight from the UK. Last night I had a date with Jamie and his family and Hugh with his spunky new haircut! Then I flicked over to Kirstie's Homemade Christmas - it was a Christmas frenzy and no wonder Rob put on his headphones and watched a doco on his laptop.

Anyway, I think I have the menu sorted for Christmas day. I think. I am quite nervous about it all because I never really have to make Christmas Day lunch seeing as we are with one of the divorced parents - take your pick there are 4! Actually, the last time I made Christmas lunch was for my Ex's family about 10 years ago when they requested lobster. Bastards always bled me! I found the whole process exhausting and stressful and hot and um, expensive. Well this year I know it will be cool, and rainy so that's a bonus and I will also put on unnecessary pressure on myself for it to be perfect. Note to self Beth: 2012 resolution is to not put pressure on myself to make things perfect. If the weather is as shithouse as it has been for the past, oh, 3 weeks, I will just put the fire on and pretend it's snowing outside. We have the Gay Godfathers, one of Rob's oldest friend's and Rob's Mum and of course the four of us. Everyone is staying over Christmas Eve so we will be waking to presents, ham on toast and a bottle of french as is the Christmas morning tradition around here. Then, well, Bev will go into hyper drive to make the best MOFO Christmas Lunch that ever there was. It's going to look a little like this:

Canapes
Squares of mozzarella, tomato & basil wrapped in Prosciutto and fried
Watermelon squares topped with feta & olives tossed in sumac, parsley & thyme
Lashing of champagne

Entree
Old School prawn cocktail served in Rob's new Riedel glasses
Maybe a crisp white

Main
Stuffed (prosciutto, sage, pork & apricot) boned and rolled turkey
Pork loin with herby stuffing (Jamie Oliver recipe) and plenty of crackling
Gravy (Jamie Oliver recipe from last night)
Roast Potatoes in duck fat
Butternut squash & kale salad from here (because I had 2 pomegranates I just had to get)
A hearty shiraz

Dessert
Traditional Pudd & custard made with love my Grandma
One, OK maybe two sticky wines

I think that will sufficiently put everyone into a coma don't you? One thing I have discovered in all my watching is the resting of the turkey. My friend Gordon (Ramsay don't you know) told me that if you cook the turkey for 3 hours then you rest it for 3 hours. Who knew? I'm not sure if I will have to do the same for a stuffed turkey? It would mean that I have to start cooking at 5am so that's not really an option. I saw on Kirstie's Homemade Christmas that you could, if you wanted, make the roast potatoes, then freeze them, bring to room temp on the day and reheat for 20 mins. Who knew? I am going to get cracking on the gravy in the next day or so to have one less thing to do Sunday. You could even make it months out and whack it in the freezer. Who knew? Let's just hope that I can get through it all and most of all enjoy myself along the way, and hopefully not too much fun in the form of champagne on Christmas Eve and or morning which could make for an entirely different Christmas lunch all together!

Saturday: Sunday

2011-12-19T07:30:00.000+11:00

Friday
: cooked Preschool end of year BBQ and spent with afternoon with Daisy finishing up School
: shed a little tear as my biggest girl ran as fast as she could in her new direction
: Had friends over for dinner who bought me the most beautiful arrangement of flowers ever
: cooked Nigella's spanish chorizo chicken which was delicious and dead easy

Saturday
: frocked up and headed to Sydney for Christmas with my Mum
: Arrived and proceeded to eat and drink constantly for 8 hours
: Received & gave some fabulous presents
: The CWA cookbook
: A new Elk necklace
: Makeup & Zoe's book
: Rob got some Riedel glasses
: Ate the most delicious tiramisu pudd covered in red currants that Mum made
: Slept in a house filled with children and family

Sunday
: Celebrated Christmas with my Dad & step Mum at my sister's place
: Wondered at her fancy Cath Kidson crackers
: Ate an amazing starter artichoke soup with scallops & crispy pancetta
: Ate the most delicious salmon on the BBQ with salsa verde & hollandaise for main
: And did someone say Chocolate fondant pudding for dessert?
: Headed back home with pants undone most definitely 2 kilos heavier
: Passed out in bed for all of 3 minutes before Harper vomited
: Spent another night with a 2 year old hogging my side of the bed

Today I plan on eating air and drinking water. I plan on exercising. And I plan on finding the Christmas spirit that seems to have exited the building perhaps believing that Christmas has been and gone? I plan on staying in my Pyjama's and getting excited by the fact that we don't have to rush to swimming, or to School. I plan on reading some of my new books and looking out the window willing summer to arrive, for some kind of sunshine, not just for my pile of washing, but so it finally feels like Christmas is here.

I'm dreaming of a White Christmas...

2011-12-15T07:49:00.001+11:00

This morning I have a bit of an achey ear. I'm tired. I am sick of sharing my bed with a 2 year old who hogs the entire pillow. I am looking forward to some time away from my kids this morning even if that means the time is spent in Big W at Mittagong. I'm a little sad that it's summer but it doesn't feel like summer. I mean if it's going to be cold, let it snow! I don't even seem to have any Christmas spirit. I'm tired.

So. Let's rewind. 3 years. To when we spent Christmas in Paris! When Daisy wasn't yet 2. When we met my sister and her now husband and Mum & Step Dad in a fabulous 3 bedroom apartment just around the corner from the Champs Elysees. When we drank endless champagne. When Rob and I spent some time together, alone, in Paris while doting relatives looked after Daisy. When it snowed. Yes, let's go to my Christmas happy place.

You can trawl back through the archives to December 2008 and January 2009 to have a read if it takes your fancy. It certainly is taking mine this morning...

Amelia's Love Story

2011-12-14T12:15:00.000+11:00

I'm going to share something pretty special with you today. Lucky you! Amelia is a reader of BabyMac and someone I like to call my friend, even though we have never actually met. She wrote me an email one day and I instantly fell in love with her. She has style. She has spunk. She is funny and cool and fabulous. Gushing? You bet I am! When she saw the photos that we had done by Tim Coulson earlier this year she was lamenting that she couldn't have Tim take her impending wedding snaps because she lives in Adelaide. But! Tim travels! And he took them and when I looked at them, and stopped crying, I instantly emailed Amelia to ask if she would share her love story for my blog. I wanted to hear it, and I know you will too.

Grab a cuppa and settle down. This is a love story. And every Wednesday needs a good love story.
____________________________________________

A little over a month ago, Beth asked me to share our love story. I was totally honored to share this not so average tale. It has been interesting process, reflecting on past memories, traveling back into those moments of wonder and passion. It is a little heart wrenching at times, but I would love to share this with you, it makes me the person I am and I would be humbled for you to take a few moments and have a read. This is my story and inspires me every single day.

It is 2.47am and I am camped out on the lounge room floor, i’ve set up a makeshift bed of blankets and couch cushions. Olivia has woken with a nasty cold. The flickering night light illuminates the hallway in a faint golden glow. The only sounds I hear are a ticking clock and a running tap. My husband is cradling the coughing babe in his arms, hovering over the bathroom sink, rocking her back and forth, gently hushing her back to sleep as the water trickles down the drain. The soothing sounds of the water is the only thing to settle her. As I lay here in the darkness, I could not think of a better opportunity to start writing our love story, than right now. This single moment, in a haze of sleep deprivation and sickness, I could not love my husband more.

We are your average family. Mum (that’s me, Amelia), Dad (Keith), son (Will), daughter (Olivia), the cat (Puddie), and the horse (Sammy). We live in the ‘burbs, about five kilometers from Adelaide. The horse resides in a lovely paddock up in the hills, about a half hour drive away. Life is peachy, I am fortunate enough to stay at home, full time, with the kiddos. My days are spent snapping photos, baking, crafting, gardening, finger painting, and cleaning. Keith heads off to work each day in the city as a software engineer. Our weekends are filled with relaxing fun times; trips up to the hills to visit family and friends, and the horse of course, cooking scrumptious feasts for our loved ones, lazy days in the backyard pottering in the garden, playing music and exploring the neighborhood. We are simple people, we enjoy life and what each day has to offer. We believe in love, working hard, enjoying the time that we have with family and friends and getting out in to nature. Life with the two kids is pretty cruisey, it has it’s moments of utter chaos but it is manageable, and we think we are done with the breeding side of things.

Now I am only a spring chicken but I have to grow up fast. I guess I have always looked at a bigger picture, I have always been a dreamer and planner. Now, I certainly have not lived a ‘whole’ life yet, I am only in my twenties and I still have a lot more to learn and understand about the world and how it works. One thing I do understand is the power of love, more so now than ever before. I know for sure that every human being has the capability to truly love another human being. Often it is a long and winding road to find that certain person, many ups and many downs along the way. No doubt we have all had our fair share of heartbreak, arriving at those crossroads and deciding which way to go, wondering if you’ve made the right choice. The funny thing about love is, you can always find it. It may be someone, it may be something, it is a feeling, it is a moment. You just know. This is how I felt when I first met Keith, there was no way that I believe we would end up together, married with children. NEVER EVER. But there was a definite feeling there, one that will stay with me forever.

Before I start with the actual love story, I want to share a defining moment in my life, a moment that has made me the person I am today. At that moment, I made a choice to be everything I thought I would not be - a wife and a mother. This moment made me understand that love is love, it doesn’t matter who you are or who you love, if it’s real then it’s real. From this point on I understood that I must follow my heart in order to survive.

I am an only child, zero siblings, just me. I grew up in a loving family, slightly dysfunctional but loving none the less. I was always very close with my parents, able to talk about anything and everything. My Mum and I were super close, I totally respected her and everything she did. A gorgeous creature, with long black hair, mum was a firey and independent woman, she was outspoken and a little wild. At twenty eight she would ride her motorbike to work, running one of the biggest emergency departments in the country. At thirty five she was a mother and a wife, by the time she was forty she was a full time hospital coordinator. Mum inspired me to be the best that I could be. She may not have been the typical mother, cooking dinners, baking birthday cakes, she was not into that sort of thing. She loved with all of her heart and soul and she worked hard to support our little family. The fourteenth of September, two thousand and five will forever be the moment that I became and adult, the moment I realized that life was precious, the moment I realized you need to follow your own path to happiness.

I was at work for the day when I had received a phone call. It was Mum, she had just finished her week of night duty and wanted to see if I could wake her up when I got home, usually around six thirty in the evening. She mentioned going to visit my grandmother later on that night and suggested that we have a simple dinner of take away pizza.
“Sure ma, no worries. I have to go, it’s super busy here”
“Love you darling”
“Love you Mummy”
I carried on with my busy day, serving coffees and making food. I finished up for the evening, and headed home. I don’t know if it was a sixth sense, or and inkling, but I knew that something was not right. I had that uneasy feeling in my stomach. Mum’s light was on so I thought she had woken early.However, I soon realized that she had not woken at all, I knew as soon as I walked in to the room, she was gone. I ran, I ran so fast and so hard. I wanted to be sick, my body was shaking uncontrollably. I called the ambulance, I don’t know why but I guess it was the right thing to do. I was totally alone, Dad was on a business trip. I had no one. I laid in my bed clutching a photo of the two of us. I knew, but I still hoped for a miracle. She was 54, a mother, a wife, sister, daughter, best friend. I had to make those calls. Dad, my grandmother Bunga, Nana and Pop. Poor Dad had a work colleague drive him the five hour journey from Mt. Gambier to Carey Gully that night. My best mate and her mum arrived. They helped me with all of the formalities. They comforted me and wiped away my tears, her mum reminded me about the significance of this moment, Mum gave me life, now I was here to be there for her, in her death.

From that point on, my life was different. Every belief, outlook, idea, and feeling was completely new and uncertain. I was an adult, I had to fight to live, I was totally responsible for myself and my actions. I was no longer that immature girl, the one who didn’t stand up for herself, the one who was a follower not a leader. I made a choice, right then and there, I was going to live my life the way that I wanted to live it. I was going to put my happiness before everything else. I had been seeing a guy for the past year, it was not a healthy relationship, I was sick and tired of playing the emotional desperate girl. I ended things and decided that relationships weren’t for me. I did not have the inner strength to deal with someone elses’ complications, my life was hard enough. I had reached a point where I felt the need to try and grasp an understanding of myself and where I wanted to go in my life.

When I look back at those months after mum died, it is obvious that I was lost. I knew what I wanted, I wanted an uncomplicated life, I wanted to love and be loved, I wanted stability and children. I wanted to be happy. I had no idea how to go about finding this happiness. Slowly but surely life became a little easier, things had changed, the grief process had worked its way through my body and what felt like overnight, I had become that adult, I was ready for a new life. I don’t really understand how Keith and I came to be together. We still look at each other with wonder and amazement every single day. I swear there must have been another force at work, surely we would be the last two people in the world who would fall in love and live happily ever after.

Keith is indeed the man I always dreamed of. He is the sort of bloke that likes to keep things simple, a very down to earth man who can have a conversation with anyone. He is incredibly humble, previous achievements go unmentioned, he does not like to brag about his past or the things he has done. He is so very encouraging, he believes in me even at times when I do not, he believes I can achieve anything. He can often see the bigger picture when I become too focused on the minor detail. A sensitive soul who is easily affected by others around him, I love him more and more, each and every day. You see one thing that is different about Keith, is that he has had a full life before I was ever in the picture, before I was even born.

I remember the very early days, I was hesitant to share my joy, I was in love. I must admit it was lovely to keep the secret to ourselves, it was special and I believe it truly laid the foundation in the end. It helped us understand what it was that we were feeling, if it was a fairytale or not. Believe me it would have been a lot easier for us to forget about it and go our separate ways; I was not looking for love or a relationship, at all, and Keith was in the same boat, he is not a man who needs a woman in his life. In fact he had been single for years before I had come on the scene. I think he believed that his opportunity to love someone had been and gone, he had accepted a life with his dog, horses and guitar and I think he was pretty darn happy about that. Combine all of this with the two thousand two hundred and ninety two kilometers between us, it appeared that this relationship would not workout.

I was wrong, and soon enough I found myself explaining my feelings to my dad, he was pretty darn shocked but he already knew, he said he could see it in my eyes. It was the hours and hours I would spend on the phone each night to Keith that gave it away. He understood exactly how I felt and encouraged me to go and be happy. He said ‘love is the single most important thing in your life, you need love to survive’ this coming from a man who had lost his wife of twenty two years only eighteen months earlier. My grandmother, Bunga felt the same way, she has known Keith since he was a teenager, she loves him like he was her own. She told me to go and grab love with two hands, go and make it work, bugger everyone else.

So, six months after we decided to be together, I packed up my little car and drove the two thousand two hundred and ninety two kilometers from Carey Gully to Jimboomba. I wanted to start a new life, I was making my dreams a reality, I was following my heart. We spent two years in Queensland. Two years later our son arrived. I realised when you have a baby you need a support base and I desperately needed one, I wanted to go home. We packed up our lives with our six month old son and drove two cars, the entire contents of our home, the cat and our two horses all the way back to Carey Gully to start over, in my home town. It was bloody hard but we have made it finally. I finally feel happiness and peace in my heart. I feel that I have created the life that I was meant to have, the life I think my Mum would have loved to have.

The very moment I fell in love with Keith I was totally and utterly committed to him and our future, his future, for better or for worse. It will be five years this Friday since we committed to this relationship. We have been married for 7 weeks, and have two beautiful children together, I have two amazing step children and three beautiful step grandchildren (yes I am in my twenties!!!!) Love is love. Love is all the arguments, all the tears, all the hesitations, all the vomit, all the blood, all the sweat, all the anger, all the happiness, all the laughter, all the frustrations. It is everything. It is all I need and I wouldn’t bloody change it for anything.
________________________________________

I know, right? Doesn't it just fill your heart? What a couple! What a family. Amelia, thank you so much for sharing your story with us all. It's a timely reminder, I reckon, at this time of year that: All you need is love. That's it. It's what makes the world go round.

You can follow Amelia on Twitter or Instagram: meals00
Or on her blog: http://mamamueslibar.blogspot.com
Or look at ALL of her wedding photos here

Oh Christmas Tree

2011-12-13T06:49:00.000+11:00

I hastily took a photo on my phone during dessert the other night as I had a moment of "Oh, maybe people don't know about these?" and boy was I surprised at the feedback. Many of you didn't! How easy and fab are they? My very clever sister in law Jo trotted them out last Christmas and I was amazed how something so simple could be so fabulous and needless to say adored by the kids.

So. To impress the kids and guests at your next Christmas do take one piece of watermelon, cut into smaller triangles (usually one piece in half or thirds) and then cut two rectangles out of the core leaving a little tree stump behind. Snap!

Saturday: Sunday

2011-12-12T07:26:00.000+11:00

Saturday
: Heavy heart and tired Mama
: Breakfast at cafe of pancakes and many coffees
: Ballet concert
: Visit from Nanna & Pa to babysit for the night
: Trip to the pub for a celebratory post ballet concert pink lemonade
: Surprise return of one Dad {ours!} from fishing trip
: One delighted Mama
: Christmas drinks with neighbours
: 3 bottles of Moet and one Piper later
: Two children who slept in their own beds. All. Night. Long

Sunday
: Early checkout from visitors at 9am
: 10am session of Puss in Boots in 3D with all the family
: One very impressed 2 year old who rolled an entire medium popcorn
: Lazy day on the couch
: Many storms that made for a dark and dreary afternoon & evening
: 8.30pm bedtime

Guest Post: Parenting Blogger Guru

2011-12-09T20:35:00.000+11:00

After my last post I was encouraged and buoyed by all your support, concern and just listening, giving me a virtual rub on my back. So thank you. I got a few emails and one in particular from a reader who was just so freaking spot on that I had to share her pearls of wisdom with you all. What she wrote just instantly clicked with me. Yes, ohmygod YES! She is one smart cookie. A parenting guru if you will. This is what I should be saying to you all, but instead panic and freak out and scream for help. But enough with the "shoulds' already. Right.

Ok. Over to the guru who agreed that I could copy and paste her email into a post. She isn't really guest posting, but she should be...
_______________________________________

The reason I decided to write the email to you was because I feel deeply about the importance of sharing and supporting in this parenting business. The problem with advice is that it is always so varied and can cause more harm than good. Advice is one of those pain in the arse things that you don't realise the importance of until it is too late. I am not for a second assuming my words are any more special or influential than the next mum, but one thing I have come to realise in my nearly 12 years on this job, is that the fundamental support that is so desperately needed to be a mum is slowly, slowly slipping away as the generations pass. SO many mums "appear" to be doing OK, they function, they get through the day, they wash the clothes, they pick up the kids and they appear to the world that they have this gig sorted. But from my own experiences and in witnessing others, it can often be those strong mums or in-control mums that don't get the ongoing and constant "hand at their back". These mums don't need advice in the form of "try this, don't do it this way...." they need the linked arms of other mums who have been through their own experiences to encircle you and gather their learned wisdom and strength and channel it through to you, so you can take an ounce of that strength and do what YOU need to do with it.

I have found the most shocking and disappointing part of mothering is that I needed to actively seek some advice when I didn't know what the hell I was doing. How can you ask the right and relevant question when you don't even know what it is that you are meant to be doing ? Sure, some mums have got their own mums or sisters to answer their questions or guide them, but it seems that people don't want to "butt in" when you appear to have it all under control. If they only knew that by regularly letting themselves in the front door, throwing a load of washing on, putting the toddler in the pram and then taking you by the hand and tucking you into bed, no questions asked, would (make you cry like a baby for hours on end, and) make you feel so less alone in the world. This is what I hope to gift my daughter when she is a mum - that she is and always will be my daughter and even adult daughters (& sons) need to know that the safety net is under them.

I know, right? Genius! She goes on...

1. You are doing an excellent job. Be proud.

2. Your kids are most definitely born with their personality, and it is this personality that determines whether their brains choose to get out of bed at 3am and walk into your room. Personality cannot be changed.

3. You were born with your personality and it is this personality that determines whether you scream, cry, yell, swear, carry frustration, question her behaviour or challenge your strengths. Personality cannot be changed.

4. The entire planet is filled with humans whose personalities clash, or gel, or blend, or settle.

5. Whenever trying to sort through the endless advice or suggestions from the "well meaning people" - always, always, ALWAYS reflect on "historical" parenting and "global" parenting - knowing that something like this has happened to a pioneering woman in her tin shed from 150 years ago, who did in fact end up raising her children with all their "issues" and that they all grew, lived and died, kind of (weirdly) gives some peace. Knowing that there are mothers in Africa who face such different lives and challenges as us, but fundamentally want EXACTLY what you want for you children (peace, strength, survival), and are working just as hard for it, also gives peace. Knowing that you are currently experiencing something that another mother 100 years from now will hopefully reflect on, highlights the magnitude of humanity, and somehow reduces the magnitude of your current situation.

6. All that emotion and energy and stress and tension that I flung around during that time was an absolute waste - the energy it took for me to be that stressed did not determine the outcome of the situation, only my memory of it.
_________________________________

Where do you start with all those pearls? Number 6? NUMBER 6 has seriously changed. My. Life. Number 6! Thank you "BabyMac better than Dr Phil reader " for all of this. YOU are amazing. YOU have helped me and no doubt many others too. Enjoy that glass of red tonight my friend, your good deed for the day is done.

This internet village thing we have going on is a pretty amazing sometimes isn't it? Happy Weekend!

Night terror

2011-12-08T07:33:00.000+11:00

She hasn't slept well for days? Weeks maybe? It could be just 2 nights in a row but it seems like an eternity. Like any good work you have done is gone and you are back to square one. Again. In fact, maybe she has just slept badly her whole life. Accept it. She's a bad sleeper. It comes and it goes. You talk about it, desperately ask for help whether it be waking or terrors or controlled crying and whichever kid it is at the time, all you know for fact is that it sucks. Big time. You read books, you talk to Doctors, you stay away from triggers, you pray that she grows out of it, and yet whenever it rears it's ugly head again, from time to time, you never fail to be surprised by it. Scared by it's unknowing time frame. Overwhelmed by it. Disappointed by it. Somehow blaming yourself for something that you could not possibly stop, and yet certain that somehow, somehow it must be your fault. It's ugly. It's exhausting.

It's 5 minutes into your sleep, maybe 5 hours and they wake, creeping into your room for comfort, to slide in next to a warm parent's back. And because a well meaning friend once said "You HAVE to stop doing that Beth" you snap. Determined to get them back into their bed because they should. It's what the books say. It's what all the grandparents say. It's what should happen. So you make it. It might take 10 minutes. It might take 4 hours. You desperately, frantically whisper, begging the small girl not to wake her sister. You sit in the cold, on the floor, more times than any other mother would possibly do it without losing their mind, because it's what should happen. You look at your phone in the dark, on the floor, grateful for small mercies like twitter. A silent conversation in the dark. An ear listening, consoling, sitting up with you. It helps. You crawl back, on the floor, on your hands and knees not making a noise. Anything to keep that heavy breathing going. In. Out. You can do it. You break free into your room, into your bed, certain that the doona will make enough noise to rouse them. And it does. Sometimes as soon as you make it to door. Mostly when you are 3 minutes into an exhausted sleep. Worse still is when you can't get back to sleep, sitting there watching the clock, the dark silence mocking you and the morning light that comes an hour later when you are finally, deeply resting slapping you in your face. Sometimes you spend hours, fucking hours in there, doing your time, because they should be sleeping in their beds only to find that they have crept in, asleep beside you when you had nothing left to give, and it was all in vain. Those hours. That waiting. That cold, hard floor. For no reason. Because they should.

These days are endless. They are filled with endless doubts and resentment. Questioning and head banging frustrations. A desperate desire to be anywhere else than where you are, right now, deep in a shitty sleep time and yet filled with worry for your baby one split second later. For your little person's worries that wake them, their tiredness, their seeming pain and wishing you could do something. Just to make it stop. Just for everyone to get a decent night's sleep. For longer than 2 nights in a row. Because they should right? Kids should sleep. Kids should have 12 hours a night. They should stay in their beds. It should just happen. Well it seems to for everyone else that you know.

Except you.

Because you have restless sleeper. A light sleeper. A night waker. A night terror. A nightmare. A bad sleeper. Always has been and even though the books, the people tell you it won't be forever, maybe she always will be. The past 5 years, 5(!) have been a pretty long time so far don't you think? Tonight we will go to bed wishing sleep to come. Praying for quiet sleep, peaceful dreams and a still body, what should happen. Who knows what will come, all I do know is that we are not alone. It's OK. And it will pass.

It should.

Stuff and bits and that and, ah, stuff

2011-12-07T13:23:00.000+11:00

: Rob left this morning for several days fly fishing on his annual "man week" trip. He will be back on Sunday. That leaves me solely in charge of our two small children deep in the depths of a sleep regression (i.e the kid will not sleep day or night) our 2 year old is currently going through. I'm not getting ahead of myself. I'm not the least bit nervous. It will go really well. The children will sleep, with or without the help of a dart gun filled with phenergan. Seriously though, the guy could use a break and some time in the Snowy Mountains camping in the freezing cold with 8 other men should be just the ticket. If that's your idea of a good time? Sounds a little Brokeback to me...

: So. I found the perfect dress for Christmas Day! If I was Betty Draper that is. Don't you just want to baste a turkey whilst sipping on a Christmas Day martini in this frock? I do. I really do. Santa?

: We have another ballet rehearsal this afternoon. Which means another ballet bun. And then another one again on Saturday for the concert. This dancing shenanigans is slowly breaking my spirit.

: We had swimming this morning and you know what? Harper didn't cry. Not once. She actually seemed to enjoy herself. So that makes one good week, 7 bad, and one good week with one more to go. Pretty shitty odds but we got there in the end.

: If I was a crafty person and made an effort to wrap presents nicely this Christmas I would be wrapping them with these FREE DOWNLOADABLE GIFT TAGS from Hey Look! How cute are they? Me likey. And you are most welcome for the heads up!

: This morning I started my Christmas Shopping. Not much, just a little start, but doesn't it feel good? I think with all this solo time I will have at night with Rob away that my credit card will be getting a bit of a work out and I will get through it all in no time. The less time I spend in a shopping centre, the better!

A very BabyMachristmas: The House

2011-12-06T08:36:00.000+11:00

Oh look, you've come in the back door. Like true good friends. How cold is it? Quickly come in and get warm, I honestly wouldn't have thought that it would be 5 degrees in December. I do quite like it though, it feels like Christmas should. Or something. Anyway, enough nattering, come in! Yes, that's Rosie the Guinea Pig's cage on the verandah, the rain is keeping her off the lawn the poor love. And yes, we have a wreath on the back door. Want to see the front too? OK then, quickly, let's go and have a look.

Here you go, but come on already, it's FREEEEZING. Grab a few logs from that basket there too, we need them because the fire is on.

Ahhhh. That's better. Isn't that better? Hello, would you seriously take a look at how pretty everything looks. Modest? No, I know I'm not, but COME ON! Look at it! LOOK AT IT! How lucky are we? I'll just duck into the kitchen and grab you a wine then we'll go and have a natter by the fire.

Yes, that's the advent calendar there. The girls adore pulling out a little sewn in treat every day. I did have to throw some chocolates in there somewhere though.

I'll get dinner ready in a sec, let's just pack down for a sec.

Ah yes, that's much better. Merry Christmas! And thanks so much for coming all the way down here! So, how are you?

Saturday: Sunday

2011-12-05T13:05:00.000+11:00

Saturday I

: Woke with a hangover and immediately took 2 panadol to deal with the killer headache
: Promptly threw up
: Swore
: Went to bake scones and realised I had no Self raising flour
: Swore
: Drove to nearest town to find flour but all was shut
: Swore
: Baked scones with flour & baking powder (thanks Twitter)
: Went to get cream out of fridge and realised it was frozen
: Swore
: Drove to butcher to get cream
: Realised I was running very late
: Swore
: Screamed instructions at Rob to finish scones & take up to morning tea
: Attempted ballet bun and make up
: Swore a lot
: Drove to ballet rehearsal at sat around for 1.5 hours
: Ate one sausage roll, one pink finger bun & one large coffee
: Got cranky at myself for eating all that crap
: Drove home
: Went to Christmas tree Farm, got tree, set it up
: Went to hall to set up for Christmas party Sunday night
: Helped make coleslaw for 130 people
: Got take away pizza for dinner
: Got kids to bed, made ginger tea and passed out at 9.30pm

Sunday I

: Woke to a freezing, dark, misty morning
: Watched Bedknobs & Broomsticks under the blanket with Daisy
: Lazed around colouring in, eating, reading, listening to Christmas carols by Kings Choir
: Had pancakes & endless cups of coffee for breakfast
: Went out to buy 150 ice creams, chips etc for Village Christmas Party
: Came home and packed down in bed with Daisy
: Fell asleep for 20 mins
: Went to Christmas party
: Came home and sat under the tree with the family listening to Bing Crosby
: Passed out at 9.30pm

Sseko Sandals Giveaway Winner

2011-12-05T07:56:00.000+11:00

Time to announce the winner of the fabulous (3!) pairs of Seeko sandals...lucky duck!

I entered the details into Random.org and comment 80 was the lucky winner.

And that lucky person was Skye. With this comment:

Congratulations Skye and thanks to everyone that entered. I hope that you go over to Seeko anyway and get a pair or two for under your tree this Christmas. Skye please email me as soon as you can (redbootsbeth@hotmail.com) your address details and shoe size (measure in cm's for me if you can) and I will get them to you as soon as I can.

Merry Christmas!

A very BabyMachristmas: The Tree

2011-12-03T20:51:00.000+11:00

Daisy was at me from the moment she woke up "Mum, can we get the tree today? It's December...we can get the tree today Muuuuum." So as soon as Harper woke from her lunchtime rest we got in the car and drove here. To the Christmas Tree Farm!

Rob got his saw and off they went, Harper pointing the way. It's very important business, this tree picking business.

We'd stop. And ponder. And all have our say before moving onto the next.

Until. There she was! Our tree! Rob got cutting...

Then we dragged her up the hill to the car. And then home where Bing Crosby was put on and decorations were added. I was so busy doing my very most favourite family thing to do that I didn't take one photo. Not one. I was too busy singing Mele kalikimaka.

While our tree could be all stylish and themed and fancy...it's just not. It's covered with crappy decorations that we have collected through the years. Covered in coloured lights and remind me of the ones I had when I was a little girl. Tossed with shitty bits of tinsel that the girls love and covered in Pre School or home made decorations. It's messy. And colourful. It's a little dodgy. And it is absolutely adored by the girls. Which is what counts. And it smells? Amazing. Like Christmas should.

It's pretty big too. And a little bare in some sections so I think I'll need to get a few more bits next week.

Oh Christmas 2011, you are looking pretty good to me so far...

House : Home

2011-12-02T12:38:00.000+11:00

This week I have been on a nesting frenzy. Who knows why? But since Monday morning I have been focused on the inside and outside in the garden, creating new corners and rearranging what we have and even unpacking some boxes that were still in the garage from when we moved. Yes, 15 months ago. I have weeded, pruned, weeded, planted and then swept. I've been busy. And it all looks lovely.

A new planter box in my kitchen window has made it look as pretty as a picture. All our star jasmine has started to come out as well so it smells amazing.

We moved in a bookcase that used to be at Rob's office in behind the couch which kind of acts as a divider for the lounge area of our enormous living room. And? I have somewhere to put our books at last! I so missed having them around. And now they are back and out of the garage and making me happy once again!

And I have moved the little yellow sofa table that used to be behind the couch over the front door along with a favourite tiled Elvis I also found in a box and I am in love...all over again.

I don't know about you, but fiddling around with stuff that you have already, moving and rearranging just brings me joy. It can transform a space and make you fall in love your stuff all over again without spending a cent. Win! Why don't you move something around this weekend? Go on! It's got to be more fun than spending Saturday morning baking scones for the town's monthly morning tea and then all day Saturday at a dress rehearsal for a 4 year old's ballet concert. Or setting up a hall for the Village Christmas gathering on Sunday night, which is what I will be doing.

Merry Christmas to....you guys!

2011-12-01T07:22:00.000+11:00

Ok. So it's December so I can "officially" talk about Christmas now. Phew. Me and my stupid Christmas rules.

I love opening up my emails (which is quite a good thing as I seem to compulsively doing so many times an hour throughout the day) and the other day I got a cracker from a lovely lady who we'll call Lexi, seeing as her name is Lexi. Anyway, she is a reader of Babymac (Hi Lexi!) and she wanted me to know about a fabulous company she works for called Sseko Designs. I checked it out and put it past my style radar and you know what? It passed! With flying colours.

So what do they make?
Sandals. That's what. And not just any sandals. Fabulous ones. And now also clutch purses which are equally fabulous.

Where are they from?
Uganda!

Who makes them?
Glad you asked. Sseko \say-ko\ Designs was created to help these bright young women continue their education. The Ugandan school system is designed with a nine month gap between secondary school and university. These nine months are intended to allow time for students to earn money for tuition before continuing on to university. However, in an impoverished and male dominated society, many of these young women struggle to find fair work during this time.

Sseko Designs hires recent secondary school graduates for this nine month period to live and work together, while earning money that will go directly towards their university education. These women will not make sandals forever. They will go on to be doctors, lawyers, politicians, writers and teachers that will bring change and unification to a country divided and ravished by a 22 year-long war.

You can read more about their story here.

So, stylish stuff that is helping out women further their education?
Yep. Great right? Well, I thought so at least.

Now. If only I could do a giveaway for every day leading up to Christmas. Alas it's not going to happen but I'll tell you what I will do. I'm going to give away a Stocking Stuffer Package. And when I say I'm going to give it away I mean I am going to take the $65 out of my bank account and pay for it for you. Thanks Rob! It's the season for giving right? And I'm a giver! Well I'm going to give away something for this great cause AND they are fabulous! Win. Win!

So what do you get? Well a pair of Sseko Sandal soles and THREE pairs of straps in navy, grey and gold. It comes with the story & instructions as well so you can be sure to work out how to tie them. Perfect for us down here in the Southern Hemisphere in the middle of summer.

OK. To make sure it gets to you before Christmas (or as close as we can make it) the giveaway will only be open for a few days until Sunday night 4th December 2011 AEST 8pm. I will choose one winner at random (using Random.org) and as soon as the lucky winner sends me their details they will be on their way to you hopefully before the big day! A little BabyMac love under your tree! Oh yes, and it's open to EVERYONE ALL OVER THE WORLD. Yay!

Leave a comment (one per person) and you are in. No extra entries on FB or twitter because I am being generous already and I can't deal with the logistics of that.

OK. Go! Comment away. And? Merry Christmas! And be sure to get some of these fabulous sandals under your tree for the festive season even if you aren't the lucky winner. You can read more about them here or on Facebook.

Happenings

2011-11-30T11:20:00.000+11:00

Yesterday

: Daisy had a very unfortunate accident with a stiletto, a fall, and a 1 in a million land
: We gave our local GP his strangest ever incident to check out
: I tried to put together an IKEA expedit bookcase without the screws or Allen key
: Needless to say it didn't work
: I bought a new plant for the back door that makes me happy
: I did 2 loads of washing
: I opened a bottle of French champagne to celebrate/commiserate with my husband
: I got my period when I *thought* I could be duffed
: I realised that was why I was a screaming banshee on Monday
: Surprised myself that I was disappointed. Huh
: I took a block of mozzarella from the neighbours as I didn't want to drive to the shops
: Was reminded that everyone really does need good neighbours. We have them in spades

This Morning

: I went for a run and had my fastest ever time
: I stood on the scales and am just 100 grams away from losing a total of 5 KILOS
: Felt great. Seriously proud of myself.
: Walked into town with my two girls stopping to chat along the way
: Felt a part of the community. It feels good
: Dropped my biggest girl at Primary School for a whole day orientation
: Cried as she tried on the uniform and hat
: Cried as all the kids stood in line at assembly and sang the National Anthem
: Watched my littlest at the park able to swing "all by mahself"
: Smugly sat back as my kid swung herself
: Pondered how kids really do grow up so quickly

Tonight

: I am up in Sydney at Nudiversity catching up with Mrs Woogs and Eden
: I will drink too many glasses of wine
: I won't have to put any children to bed
: I will go to sleep and not be woken up

Tomorrow

: I will be up early, driving home
: Will no doubt have a hangover
: It's FLIPPING DECEMBER! How?

A Very BabyMachristmas: Shopping

2011-11-29T07:25:00.001+11:00

I had someone ask me somewhere - Facebook or Twitter or Instagram I think - if I was putting out a guide to Christmas with all my hints and tips on shopping, decorating, cooking, drinking etc and I thought "You know what I need to do? I should totally do a guide to Christmas with all my hints and tips on shopping, decorating, cooking, drinking etc. In different parts for different sections"

How clever am I?

While I am no expert on well, pretty much anything, I like stuff. I share stuff. And it seems sometimes people like the stuff I like. I especially like Christmas stuff so {hopefully} you will too.

In our family we do a Kris Kringle thingy as there are 10 adults and 8 kids so we all just have to buy for one person (well two per couple) and then one kid. The limit for the adults is $100 and kids $30. It's worked really well so far as we can choose something special and get one good thing rather than lots of little soaps or candles. The kids certainly don't want for anything much after Santa has come to town so it works well for us. Because of my location down here I tend to do quite a bit of shopping online. But you knew that already right?

So, where will I be shopping this year? Here's the shortlist (as they came to me in no particular order). Yes, it's short. I could have added a whole lot more. And further disclaimer: I only wish I was paid to flog these fabulous (mostly Australian sites).

Hunting for George
Form Function Style
Lark
Vintage & Nostaglia Company
Inky & Co
Wanelo
Etsy
Made it
Prue Trollope
Gallop Lifestyle
Salvation Jane
Made by Others
Down that Little Lane

You will find a mixture of {mostly} inexpensive home wares, artwork, design pieces, stationery, fashion from all these wonderful sites. The best thing is that you will find something a little different, a little unique, and a little thoughtful that I am sure that your recipient will love.

For the girls we usually do one big{ish} Santa pressie each and some fillers as well as one present from Rob and I. Last year we actually forgot the one thing from us and they certainly didn't miss it. I managed to get the girls the IKEA kitchen as there is finally a play kitchen I am happy to have in my house that is quite stylish that will be their joint pressie from Rob and I. I am also going to fill Daisy's sack with plenty of school stuff for the new year - new pencil case etc. Rob? Well seeing as he reads this he will just have to wait. Which is pretty good seeing as I have no bloody clue what it will be. What?

And what would I like for Christmas? Simple really.

One CWA Classics Cookbook

One baguette and or black diamond band (snort)

One Chair from a shop in Bowral that I spied last week (a girl can dream)

One Rug from Anthropologie (no, the fuckers don't ship rugs to Australia)

Two children that sleep through the night, every night
And four more kilos lost without any effort from myself

How will the gifts be wrapped? What will we eat Christmas Day? How do you decorate your house? I could say...how would I know? Usually the only wrapping paper that is left when I pick it up on the 23rd Dec. I have NO idea yet but I want it to be pretty special. With, um, decorations.

But I won't! No! I will share with you in the coming weeks to Christmas as I work it all out. We have our very first Christmas at home with just our little family (and the Gay Godfathers and a Gma) so I want it to be a good one. Think fabulous fancy food for lunch, a table that takes your breath away and unlimited French champagne. So, let's jump aboard the BabyMac Express and see our way through to a stylish Christmas.

Next stop? Decorations.

Saturday: Sunday

2011-11-28T06:49:00.000+11:00

After hosting many, many, many friends and family over the past year we have become quite the experts at it. From getting beds ready, meals planned and enough "stuff" for kids to play with while they are here - when it comes down to it, a successful and memorable visit only happens when a few stars align. And they don't always. These stars are...

: Good weather
: Kids happily playing and sleeping reasonably well
: An abundance of good booze and food provided by all sides (hosts and visitors)
: One night stay
: Relaxed state of mind (mainly from me)
: Never ending compliments to the hostess (kidding. Actually, I'm not)

This weekend all the stars aligned and we had a fabulous visit with some friends from Sydney. The clouds opened as soon as they arrived and the kids all disappeared. Perfect. The boys that will be boys (including 2 year old boys) had a new toy to play with - a remote (by your iphone or Ipad) controlled helicopter thingy that had a camera built into it. This camera proved handy to see exactly which tree it ~~crashed~~ landed into in the neighbours garden.

There was the cutest, chubby 4 month old baby girl who my girls could not get enough of. Daisy in particular played with her, watched her get her nappy changed, gave a running commentary on her changing moods "Mum, she's calmed down now." "Mum, she is just so cute." I know Daisy, I know. Evie smiled a gummy smile at me yesterday morning at breakfast and I actually got a tear in my eye. That simple, honest joy that only babies have. Clucky? Maybe.

The children screamed a lot. You get that when you are constantly being chased by a flying thing.

And they ate a lot. You get that when you are little. And growing.

Besides Christmas and some family visits I think that's it for the year. Phew! Did I say that out loud? I really do love to host catch ups in our beautiful home and give people a chance to see just how beautiful our village really is. Sure it's hard work. Sure it's expensive. Sure there is always a mountain of washing and mess to clean up from, but the chance to properly spend quality time with people you love and not have to rush off to another BBQ or kid's birthday party afterwards and of course have a chat in your jammies over tea in the morning, well, it's worth it. All of it.

Posies o' Rosies

2011-11-25T07:28:00.000+11:00

Without a doubt, the view of the house at the moment is out of one Daisy Macdonald's bedroom. Here, come and have a look.

All my roses in bud or bloom despite this gloomy week of weather we have had! The standard iceberg is lovely but next to that are the longest stems of beautiful white and creamy buds that ever there were. Ever.

I know they are just flowers, but honestly, so beautiful. And unlike the bunches that you get from hot houses there are no droopy necks, no browning, just slowly opening flowers that get better as each day passes by. And from my garden nonetheless! I have nothing to do with their success, but I can't help but be a little proud of their beauty.

And the best bit is that there are so many more I will white blooms for weeks and hopefully for my Christmas Day Table!

This weekend we have some friends from Sydney coming to stay for the night with their 3 kids. I am really looking forward to catching up as it has been aaaaages - they even have a new baby girl, Evie, who I can snuggle as much as I want. Not that I'm clucky...it could be a good chance to see whether I want to go down that road again. Or not.

Hope you have a great weekend!

Label me: Organised

2011-11-24T15:36:00.000+11:00

And or: cheap
And or: grateful

When an email popped into my inbox last week from Bright Star Kids I was quick to reply that "Yes! I would like to get some labels done" seeing as my baby starts Big School in a few months time. Sob.

I have never been an organised Mum. I have friends who always have packed food for their kids. Always have Tupperware filled with cut fruit and sandwiches with crusts cut off and water. I just have never been that person. I am always driving to a servo to get some overpriced bottle of water because I forgot the drink bottles. Again. I am the Mum writing my kid's names on their drink bottles and lunch boxes with black texta, only to do it again the next day as it has washed off in the dishwasher. Again. As much as I am organised in some areas - this is not one of them. So you can imagine my delight that next year I will be able to whack these fabulous labels and iron them onto her clothes (although that will involve ironing which I never do. Not ever).

We got the School Labels value kit which is valued at $39.95 and comes with what seems like a gazillion labels. It's easy to fill in the details, choose a font and icon picture and in a day or so it arrived. Easy! They have Name Labels and School labels and looking online a whole range of decals, bag tags and even stuff for the home.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to be smug and organised, and throw out all the dodgy permanent markers I have around the house.

The 6 minute dinner

2011-11-24T07:25:00.000+11:00

Usually if I am going to do a post about food or a recipe I get my good camera out, I try and take snaps along the way and I try and put together something that people can follow and enjoy. The other night I was home alone with the girls as Rob was away for the night, I was starving I could gnaw my arm off hungry and I happened to whack a picture of dinner on Instagram. I had numerous requests for a recipe on the blog and all I took was a quick snap before I shovelled it into my mouth - so excuse this pathetic excuse of a food post. I give the people what they want. You are most welcome.

6 minute salad
: Handful of baby spinach
: One chorizo
: Half packet haloumi
: Handful torn mint leaves
: One cob of corn
: Squeeze of half a lemon
: Black pepper and lots of it

: Throw the corn into boiling water for 5 mins or whenever cooked then cut off kernels
: In a hot pan cook chorizo on one side and the haloumi on the other. Drain on paper towel
: In a bowl chuck in spinach & mint
: Throw in corn, haloumi & chorizo
: Squeeze over lemon juice and grind lots of pepper over it's back

Dead set. So. Good. And how easy? All that salty goodness with the spinach and mint? The lemon juice cutting through and some heat from the pepps? STOP IT.

Women's Business

2011-11-23T07:12:00.000+11:00

I think I must have been here on this earth before. Probably lots of times. But I take great comfort in feeding my friends and family, making my house a home, ensuring that I have food in the cupboards, clean clothes in the drawers. I like to chop wood for my fire and stack it just so, bath the kids and dress them in the nighties in front of it. And I like it like that. It makes me happy. And it's a little old fashioned.

You can imagine my delight then, when I became an official Committee Member for our local School of Arts that was built all the way back in 1883, right back in my comforting pioneering zone. Last week they held their local Bridge Day where 80 odd old ducks descended upon the hall with their card tables for some morning tea, steaming cups of tea, tiny finger sandwiches and a cheeky glass of wine for lunch and plenty of card playing in between.

I was up at the School at 8am ready to make sandwiches. And did we ever. A chicken, celery, mayo and pine nut number, an egg and lettuce and a cream cheese/tomato concoction. I was partnered up with a Judy {who was partial to a ciggie bless her world} and a Robyn and we stood and nattered, made sandwiches, talked about our village and had many a laugh in between. We cut the crusts with an electric carving knife, we placed them on plates just so and we served our visitors tea and cakes with the roses picked from these women's garden's.

There is something about learning from older people that makes me happy. The older I get, the more I appreciate it. Listening to stories, learning, laughing and sharing. All our stories and lives, no matter how different, are all the same when it comes down to it - looking after our families, raising children, growing a garden, supporting our friends and community and enjoying living in this beautiful town.

If you had told me 18 months ago that this would be my life I would have spat out my skin takeaway latte in your face. My city terrace living ways suited me just fine. Well I thought so at least. It wasn't until we arrived here, to this town, that I knew that we were really home. Belonging to a place. Our place.

I feel honoured to be a part of this. Putting my story into the floorboards. My cackling laughter and rude jokes into the walls. Having my family share and enjoy this town in this time. While we might not be welcoming soldiers back from a war, but raising money to keep the doors open on this Pearl of history, I get to be a part of it, a part of it's story, and it makes me feel very privileged to be doing so. And eating unlimited egg sandwiches along the way certainly helps matters...

Let me count the ways

2011-11-22T07:55:00.000+11:00

Lately I have noticed that I am quite annoying ~~all of the time~~ at times. I mean I know that I am currently a hormonal freak due to coming off the pill, but I think generally speaking I am so annoying that sometimes I even annoy myself. I have no idea how my children and husband put up with me. I guess they get to live in a fabulous clean home, eat great food and have clean clothes on their back because of me so I will do. For now.

These are the top ways in which I am so annoying, I even annoy myself. Which is quite annoying.

1. Floor compulsion

I am quite obsessed with my floors. Call me crazy, but I like a clean floor. CRAZY! I know with kids this is a battle not worth fighting but I like to walk, without shoes on, and not have to brush my feet off on a mat to get crumbs and stuff off them. Due to said compulsion you will find me on my hands and knees a lot of the time. Eaten a meal? Dustpan and broom essential after a meal. Gone outside to do something? Sweep that verandah to make it all nice like. It's not really toys/books that drive me crackers, it's the crackers. Or crumb crackers. Could I spend my time doing something else? OF COURSE. But I like clean floors and DEAR GOD I WILL HAVE CLEAN FLOORS. Annoying yes?

2. General family intolerance then 2 second later smugness

I find myself, at times, frustrated with my children. Whether it be whinging, or whinging or when they are whinging I will, at times, lose my shit with them. If my husband happens to be nearby at the time that I tell them to "SWEET BABY JESUS STOP WHINGING AND TALK PROPERLY" he will intervene and try and get the kids to stop whatever behaviour has set me off. I will happily walk away, let him take over until he inevitably says 2.3 minutes later to "SWEET BABY JESUS STOP WHINGING AND TALK PROPERLY" I will get all upset, and protect those whinging darlings of mine and take over, all indignant like and say something like "Take it easy! They are just kids!" like they weren't just driving me fucking mental. That's a special kind of crazy right? ANNOYING.

3. Wine rules

I have a little rule in my head, on nights when I am having a drink {who am I kidding that's almost every night bar 2} that I can't have a drink until both kids are asleep. Like I cannot take that first, sweet, special sip of wine until I have clocked off. I imagine that the older the kids get, and the later their bed time gets, the more this rule will be pissed off. This one particularly annoys me, and probably just me. I'm sure the kids are grateful for sober Mummy.

4. My mess is OK, your mess is NOT

Most days when the house turns to chaos from the girls moving from one thing to the next, their hurricane trail is OK by me. I'll clean up say when Harper goes down for a rest and Daisy watches a movie on the couch, and then again while they are in the bath before bed. I am an expert at putting things back - minutes flat I can have things back to normal. If, per chance, my husband is looking after the girls while I get my hair done, or catch up with a friend, or go shopping, and I come home to the mess that is usually absolutely fine with me, but I have not been there to see it happen, I tend to huff and puff about said mess and ensure that everyone knows that I am a slave to their mess. I mean really Beth, get over it. This is a cracker isn't it? I mean, having a problem with something not on your watch when it usually is? Mental.com.au

5. Time away from the kids

Generally when I am lucky enough to have some time away from the kids I am GAGGING for it. Chomping at the bit to get out the door, give instructions to the babysitter, or Grandma and rushing out without too much of a thought to what will happen when I am gone. 2 minutes down the road? I lament. I worry. I feel terrible for being away from the kids. Did I mention I worry. I can't wait to get back to see them until 2 minutes after being at home all I want to do is get away.

I could go on. And on.

6. Not sitting still. Ever
7. Order of hanging out washing
8. Sitting waiting for children to go to sleep

And on.

Except that this post is actually depressing me now because I seem like a total basket case who would be AWFUL to live with, and I can't wait to see all the Anon comments that will follow telling me just that. BUT. For anyone else out there, with some crazy behaviour of their own, do share. Confess. Get it out there. And please make me feel a little less lonely. Less crazy. Less annoying....please!

Now, I'm off to clean my floor...

Saturday: Sunday

2011-11-21T13:12:00.000+11:00

The weekend began just the way I like it, with my not talking to my husband for all of Friday night and then a Ballet concert photo shoot at 8.30am Saturday morning. What? You guys don't love those things? Weirdos.

Once Rob and I finally spoke to each other again on Saturday morning, well, actually, once I decided that I would stop being a stubborn bitch and actually enjoy the weekend, I took Daisy and her bestie and Harper of course {she cannot miss a thing} to get their photos taken for their first Ballet concert which is on in a few weeks time. I thought I did a pretty good "ballet bun" but when I was pulled aside just before we left suggesting that I come and get a tutorial on how to do it before the full dress rehearsal next week, I gathered that I was not so good. My head is whirling with requests for body stockings and MAKEUP bags and hairspray and gel for my 4 YEAR OLD. Lucky she looks so cute.

Once we got home Gma came to stay from Sydney for the night while I went out to lunch with all of my family for my loss of the Family Footy Tipping comp. Let's just say that next year I will be paying a whole lot more attention to the competition. We left the girls screaming and banging down the windows while we drove out the driveway and that caused me to not talk to Rob again for an hour {because clearly it's his fault that they were crying and distressed. DER} but we I eventually decided to talk to him and actually enjoy each other's child free company. I am slowly remembering that I am a crazy bitch when I'm off the pill. Sure I might actually want to put out, but why would you want to when I am so nasty. Catch 22.

This was me in the cab on the way to lunch because I am loving myself sick and the moment and have a huge ego. But that's OK, I'm a blogger and that's what hot bloggers do. Snort. This was as fresh I was all day because I got drunk. Drunky Macdrunky DRUNK. Great fun though. We had lunch at the restaurant at the Tilbury and then post cocktails at Ms G's in Potts Point which was fabulous and made me feel like I was somewhere like London. Or something. I liked it.

Sunday I woke early because I was very hungover, and when I am very hungover I am unable to sleep. Sleep in, or sleep at all. This must have been very annoying for my husband because I kept rolling over to tell him that I was very hungover, and couldn't sleep. He could sleep, but I could not, so I ensured that he knew my position on the matter and that we were up and heading home much earlier than he would have liked. Because I was very hungover you know? And I missed home and my kids. Who's the weirdo now? I spent the day very quietly, with some neighbour's in the afternoon, some picking of flowers and in bed by 7.30pm because by then I could sleep. Very well in fact.

Return of the {pre Baby} Mac

2011-11-18T06:13:00.000+11:00

It's been puzactly one month since I wrote this post and decided that I needed to shift a little weight from my frame and attempt to stick with something for more than 7 minutes, which is usual time frame that I stick to things when it comes to weight loss.

So how has it been going?

: I am now 4 kilos lighter than I was a month ago and it appears I CANNOT move past this
: I try and go for a walk/run each and every day although that seems to mean 4 times max a week
: The walk run is mostly walk but getting more run. It's 4km's from my house and back and it climbs up a mountain (well 128 metres so it seems like a mountain). I see cows and rabbits and sometimes a wombat along the way. It is SO beautiful.
: When I started going my time was 35 minutes 28 seconds. This morning I did it in 28 minutes 55 seconds that is a WHOLE 6 MINUTES FASTER MOFO'S!
: I am a whole lot fitter than I was a month ago
: My clothes are looser and I can fit back into some size 12 jeans that I wore for about 2 weeks this time last year which was the last time they fit me
: My skin and eyes are clearer
: My mind is sharper
: My patience is longer
: I achieve more on the days when I exercise to the days when I don't
: My mental health and well being is a gazillion times better than it was

What about the food you are shovelling into your mouth?

: I have tried to cut out most sugar from my life but have been pretty loose on the rules. I don't have sugar in coffee but I might have some wholemeal toast which probably has some sugar in it if I could be bothered to figure it out. I still drink wine but try and have 2 or 3 alcohol free nights a week. I haven't had biscuits or chocolate AT ALL except for one piece of Harper's Birthday cake, a banana choc chip muffin & crumble last week and a teeny bit of slice on Monday this week. I don't miss it. Really.
: The first 3 weeks I was VERY strict about carbs. No bread whatsoever. This has gotten slack and I have some wholemeal bread on a sambo but I have also stopped losing weight. I swear bread is the reason. I have still been having pasta or the occasional roast potato. You gotta LIVE people!
: Lunch is tuna most days which is lucky for me cause I love it. Salads, salads and more salads. Snacks are nuts or nuts or nuts. I haven't been eating any fruit because of the sugar in it.
: I still drink coffee with milk every day. Again, living peeps, living
: I still don't drink nearly as much water as I should

So there you have it. I feel like I am about half way with where I want to be. Another 4 or 5 kilos would be awesome and would take me back to when I was probably in the best shape of my life - when I got married. I cannot seem to lose weight at the moment - whether it's a plateau or muscle, or whatever, I cannot seem to budge past the same weight for the past 2 weeks. That's annoying. Actually it's beyond annoying it's a pain in the arse that makes you want to stop because seriously, what's the point? But that's all part of it right?

There isn't anything much better than someone telling you you look great. Have you lost weight? YOU BET YOUR LAZY ARSE I HAVE! There isn't anything much better than putting clothes on and have them fit you. Properly. I still think it's magic that one day pants don't fit and then a week or so later they do - like magic! Hard, sweaty magic that is. Rob has been a great help to me - him being just a few kilos off losing 20 whole kilos himself. He is well and truly in the zone and I am *almost* in the zone. Maybe. Sure, I look at that jam and butter and toast and think to myself how good it would be, but I am trying to switch off, quickly and move onto other things - it's just food. Just fuel. And DEAR GOD I want to try and not think about it as being anything else. Not a reward. Not a comfort. Just beautiful food that fills you up, and gives you energy to get stuff done. And most of all there isn't anything much better than feeling good about yourself. Setting yourself goals, sticking to them, and achieving them. Feeling like you are doing good at something. Even if it's just going down the road for 5 metres it's 5 metres more than you would be doing on the couch. Feeling good about myself makes me a better partner and a better Mum - regardless of what my pant size is showing me that has to be worth it.

Isn't it so annoying how that's true? Stupid exercise.

Fresh pickings

2011-11-17T07:44:00.000+11:00

I'm not sure I am ever going to tire of going out into the garden and picking some flowers for a table or somewhere inside. These, these are my very first roses of the season that I picked before the rain came yesterday afternoon as well as some cat mint which I find so pretty when it's in flower.

The iceberg roses in my Grandmother's vase just make me love it all the more...

Warning: contains grey hair, swearing & wine

2011-11-16T20:17:00.002+11:00

Snapshot: 5 days

2011-11-15T16:52:00.000+11:00

: Friday I had the morning to myself so I went and sat in a cafe and drank coffee and read the paper all by myself. Beyond enjoyable.

: I dropped one neighbours child home Friday afternoon when the other neighbour's called me in for a wine. I left 4 hours later with a bunch of roses from their garden, dinner in my belly, bathed and fed kids and approximately 34 wines under my belt. Oh and some Sing Star performed. Daisy got in on the act too.

: Saturday morning I had no time to waste - up to the hall to set up for a show we had on Saturday night. Tables and chairs for 150 then back home to clean the house, do some house keeping and prepare for my Mum & Step Dad who came down and stayed the night & saw the show with us. I had a brief moment to have some tea.

: Because we were out at night I made a special lunch of Rib eye, roast potatoes, crumble and more...you guessed it...wine!

: I was so tired on Sunday I took not one shot, but we drove to Sydney for brunch in Rose Bay and then turned around and drove right back again. I can't remember being as tired as I was Sunday night.

: Monday we went to swimming then had a quick bite to eat in a cafe before heading back to Sydney for a girls dinner. I dropped the girls at Mum's place

: Almost passed out in the nasty heat

: And escaped to Mrs Woog's house for a quick champagne before heading out to dinner with my old School friends. I could have sat at her kitchen table for hours...

: This morning I got the car cleaned {they had a Macaw at the Car wash Cafe - is that the strangest thing ever to be at a car wash cafe} before heading back home to pick up neighbour's child to take to a School concert that the Kinder kids were invited to. We finished the concert, came home and I washed and pottered about and am even more exhausted than I was on Sunday night. Is that even possible?

: I also am amazed that Instagram can make my legs look good. And also that a 34 year old Mother of two thinks she can get away with shorty shorts on. Honestly...

: If anyone needs me I'm hiding under my doona cover, pretending not to hear my over tired, feral kids and ignoring the fact that I am a hormonal wreck after going off the pill because I figure that having some sex drive might make up for the crazy psycho I am when I am off the pill. At least I might put out right? I think I need a good night's sleep...

Just call me Bev: Episode 13

2011-11-11T08:15:00.001+11:00

Ever since we moved to the country I have meant to plant a massive vegetable garden with masses of herbs and vegies that I am meant to gather in my basket, plonk on the kitchen bench and proceed to make organic, healthy meals for my family and then proceed to take fabulous photos of the food so I can blog about them and pat myself on my vegetable garden growing, organic back. Most of the time it's healthy meals sourced from the fruit shop or supermarket, but sometimes a not so healthy meal of frozen chicken nuggets.

Whatevs.

While I am still getting my head around the existing garden that we have and all the maintenance that goes into that, the vegie patch remains a dream. In my weeding I have discovered that we have one rhubarb plant that appears almost under a hedge, wedged between some roses and lavender. Last year I made some jam with the rhubarb but this afternoon when Grandma was coming for a visit I thought I better get a crumble together. How has it taken me so long?

Apple & Rhubarb Crumble
6-8 stalks of rhubarb
4 apples peeled & cored
200 grams sugar

Crumble Topping
2 tablespoons plain flour
1 cup of oats
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
2 tablespoons diced butter

: I took the leaves off the rhubarb, washed and cut into 2 cm pieces

: I peeled and cut 4 apples {pink ladies because we like to say pink laaaydees when we buy them in the shop round here} thrown into a saucepan

: I added the sugar on top and put onto a medium heat for about 5-7 minutes until the fruit is softened. Don't panic that there is no liquid - it just appears out of no where just you wait and see!

: I then consulted Facebook to ask what the best crumble was because that was why the internet was invented. Jane came through with the goods - thanks Jane!

: I threw all the mixture into a bowl and then rubbed through the butter into the mix with my fingers. Almost like a scone rub, if I made my scones the proper non-lemonade way.

: I tipped the cooked fruit into a baking dish

: Chucked the crumble mixture on top and baked in a 180 degree oven for about 25 mins or until the top was golden brown and the fruit was bubbling up the sides

: We served with natural Greek style yoghurt which was nice to cut through the sweet but cream or ice cream would probably be better

This was BLOODY DELICIOUS. It will become a firm favourite in this house as it can be made, set aside, and then whacked in the oven while you are eating your mains. The topping was almost chewy and caramel but crunchy at the same time. Now I just have to wait for more rhubarb to grow back!

:Pause:

2011-11-10T07:50:00.000+11:00

: I'm spending my day sitting and admiring all the flowers I have in my house
: Watching the rain and wind lash about my windows and garden
: Eating more leftovers
: Trying to get through a mountain of paperwork pushed aside last week
: Watching a Dorothy the Dinosaur Christmas DVD. Don't ask
: Preparing a roast lamb dinner and a rhubarb crumble for Gma who is coming to stay
: Sending off goodies to winners at the Post Office
: Fretting over how much it costs to register a car {again}
: Blogging instead of packing a lunch for School & getting ready
: Watching these girls sit and read their 16 new library books we picked up yesterday

What are you doing this Thursday?

The very last bit. I promise.

2011-11-09T06:24:00.000+11:00

I just couldn't resist all those photos that I had taken - especially of all the flowers that we had in every colour of the rainbow. I spent $45 TOPS on all these flowers. I got them from Harris Farm and raided the quick sale bucket that they have filled with flowers that are on the turn - mostly opened and with just a few days left in them.

I got our every vase that I owned, every glass bottle and every empty jam jar I could find in my cupboards.

I then raided my ribbon selection that I have from all the left over presents we get with ribbon on them. I used a collection of odds and ends and tied them around the tops of the vases as a contrast to the flowers and an extra pop of colour. You can never have too much colour!

I kept all the flowers of the same kind in the vases rather than mixing them up - as I wanted them to be lined down the table, one colour at a time.

Yes, we used plastic plates and cutlery because I didn't want to spend 34 hours washing up. I got these bulk coloured packs from the Reject shop for $2 a packet. I grabbed 6 of each colour and added them into the same jars as the flowers. Cute right?

These little glass bottles and lollypops and straws I got online from here. Also some cute chevron lolly bags/plates and some cups. Great company, great prices and a quick turnaround and service - highly recommended.

Look at those peonies! $10! I almost died when I saw them in the bucket at $5 a bunch when they were on the shelf for $25. Thank you quick sale, thank you. And I can assure you 5 days later they are still looking great.

So there you have it - all the decorations and flowers and the very last post on it I promise! It doesn't have to cost lots of money to add an extra element to a celebration. I think that flowers are a must - but remember to look outside the garden at what you have - even if it's just green leaves or branches with ribbon on them. The reject shop/$2 shop is your friend - they now have great selections of things in bulk bright colours that look great when all mixed up. The pom poms were made of $1 tissue paper and I think I got 6 out of each pack - pretty economical. The lanterns were just $2 each also from a $2 shop (funnily enough) and I can keep them both for years to come pulled out at many a celebration I'm sure. Look at what you have already and use as much as you can - a simple bit of ribbon can even make a normal drinking glass from IKEA look like a pretty vase. And have fun - I love creating little bits & pieces that while small and not anything special when all put together create a big impact. Everyone will appreciate your efforts and you can be proud of all your hard work!

THE cake. The Rainbow cake that is.

2011-11-08T07:56:00.000+11:00

It deserves it's own post. You know it does. I wanted to do this cake the very first time I saw it on a blog in 2009. Since then it has been on many a Birthday table sometimes with smarties, sometimes plain, sometimes with little bitty bunting hanging on it. I started making it during the week because I knew I didn't have time to bake all day Saturday or Sunday as I had too much going on. I also found out that a frozen cake is an easier cake to ice - who knew? So I looked even more organised and skilled without even knowing it!

So. How did I do it? I probably should have looked up how other people had done it before (because I am sure there are a gazillion posts out there showing you how to) but I just figured it out in my head how it made sense to me and went for it. I bought 4 packets of Aldi butter cake mix. Fancy, I know. I figured for $1.69 a pack I could screw up as many batches as I wanted. I made them up, halved them (my brain couldn't work out the weighing to exactly divide the mix with the taking the bowl weight out) so I just guessed, added in the food colouring and baked. I baked them in my Grandma Dot's cake tin who used to make all her grandchildren a rainbow cake when we were little, so I think I had a bit of Dot luck on my side! I chose the colours from the rainbow song {DER} Red and yellow and pink and green, purple and orange and blue - baked, wrapped, froze over a few days.

Then on Saturday afternoon with a house full of guests and a couple of champagnes under my belt {and my trusty chef brother in law and rainbow baby watching on} I began to ice. And ice. And ice. It took A LOT of icing to bring it all together. My cakes were wonky too (because of the non accurate weighing) so there was quite some spak filling to be done in some sections! You will also notice how I ripped some baking paper into 3 sections and places them under (just a little bit) of the cake so I could make a mess and then at the end just slip them out. How very Beverley of me!

How focused and pumped can one Mum be?

Can you hear me saying "Oh SHIT that bit of cake just came off!"

And the mounting enthusiasm and gusto as each layer went on. I was a little cocky here...

This was when Rob worked out that he was indeed married to a {hot} domestic Goddess!

The top layer of icing went on and then I slowly iced the sides, moving it around as I went. My butter icing was not perfect but it was tasty. My icing was made up of a shitload of butter, mixed with a shitload of icing mixture. It was that technical.

In the end I decided not to go with anything else on the top except a little rainbow spotted candle.

I was slightly pissed and a little proud of myself when it came to serving...and why wouldn't I be? I've lost weight! I baked a Rainbow cake! I have a hot husband!

It's not the prettiest, or perfect of Rainbow cakes you will find on the web, but it's my crack at the title and I can assure you one little 2 year Birthday girl was very impressed. And that's about all that matters.

Crownies Giveaway Winner{s}

2011-11-07T19:56:00.000+11:00

I meant to get round to this last night except I was a) a little pissed and b) too tired and c) I forgot. But I am now sober, awake and I remembered so just jumped onto Random.Org and picked 2 winners from the 38 comments that were in there. Winners?

Comment 15: A BALLERINAS MUM with her comment "Count me in! A new DVD series would be great!"

And comment 37: CASEY-ANN with her comment "count me in purdy puhlease"

Congrats ladies! Can you send me an email {redbootsbeth@hotmail.com} with your addresses and I will post them off to you this week. Thanks to everyone for entering - will be sure to find something else to giveaway soon!

A Rainbow Party

2011-11-07T14:36:00.000+11:00

Yesterday we held a 2nd Birthday Party & Christening celebration for Harper. What a day! Surrounded by all the very closest of our family & new friends down here we shared a meal, had a drink {or two} and celebrated with our beautiful little girl in the only way she deserves - full of colour, and joy and so much love and happiness!

I was just a little bit excited when it was time to cut open that cake...such a shy girl that I am!

I then managed to pose in my best Sale of the Century Model shot...how could I not? LOOK AT IT!

Today I am beyond exhausted and am just two bathrooms off having the house cleaned and back to normal. I will be sure to fill you in on the details of the cake & decorations etc, but right now Mama needs a good cup of tea and a lie down...

Party time. Excellent.

2011-11-05T06:37:00.000+11:00

It's been a very busy week. Between all the stuff to get around the house, prepping for the party and in between trying to get exercise done, this little blog has been a little neglected. But we are almost there. Final food preps today and some more gardening before the first of our visitors arrive before the big day tomorrow.

We have pom pom garlands made and hanging wherever so they are out of little people's way and not getting squashed. Daisy has made me open all the lanterns that will be in the trees because she thinks more is more. Cakes have been made and frozen before being iced in the morning. Drinks purchased, lawns mowed and the weather forecast looking good.

It's going to be a lovely day with 40 members of our family and a few close friends thrown in too. It's going to be hectic and crazy and lots of fun and I can't wait to share it all with you on Monday!

Show on the road {Crownies}

2011-11-03T16:22:00.000+11:00

About time we got another DVD to giveaway and what better than a little something for the grown ups? Did you watch Crownies when it was on? Me either. Well I meant to. Just like I meant to watch the Slap and now have missed the lot. Who knows what I am doing when these great Australian shows are on - I am ashamed to say I am watching a cooking show or the Real Housewives of Wherever. Or reading blogs. Or probably just on twitter.

Anyway...for those that didn't watch it I gather that it's about some "sexy" "young" lawyers straight out of Law School trying to make their careers with the big boys. No? Perhaps I should have read the blurb a little better.

But you know what? I have TWO copies of the first season to give away (worth $49.95) each to two of you guys. Want one? Just leave me a comment in this post and I will announce the winner on Monday. Giveaway closes on Sunday night at 8pm (6th November 2011) although I suspect I will be drunk and exhausted from Harper's soiree so you might just get lucky with a late entry!

Good luck!

Back Story: Our engagement

2011-11-02T16:12:00.000+11:00

This was originally a story I wrote for JustB under this section called "This thing happened to me" but I can't see it getting on there anytime soon (namely because they shelved those stories) and I am flat out with life this week so thought it just might do. Also, why waste good writing? Or why waste MY good writing? And yes, it's all true. This is how Rob and I got engaged.

Originally titled I accidentally got engaged...

I planned a cheeky weekend escape with my fabulous new boyfriend when we were THICK in the “new love” phase. It was late February and that feeling of catching the last magical bit of summer was in the air. We had been going out for just 4 months and we were all. Over. Each. Other. And besotted, and in love, and quite frankly, sickening to anyone other than ourselves. I got a last minute rate on a fancy hotel up in the Northern Beaches so we packed the car with not much (what do you need when you are in love?!) plenty of champagne and off we went like those annoying couples I see now as a married mother of two heading off on weekend ‘mini breaks’.

We polished off one bottle of French Champagne and were onto our second when we headed out onto the verandah to watch the late afternoon light slip away. There was a wedding going on and which we watched from afar and we talked of our life together and all we had planned for our future (like you do when you are newly in love and a little drunk). A quick trip inside to refill our drinks saw me blurt out “Well, why don’t we just do it?” After some clarification from him that I didn’t mean that we could have sex (again - oh those were the days!) and that I actually meant “Let’s get married” we kind of stopped. And thought seriously. And then, before I knew what I was actually doing and sober enough to know any better, I got down on one knee and asked properly (because it was an actual leap year and I was allowed to ask for a mans hand in marriage you see) “Well, we know we want to be together, so what are we waiting for? Let’s get married!”. The next thing I know, he is saying YES. And what do you know? WE WERE ENGAGED. Just like that.

We sat and giggled and kissed and hugged and giggled again and then of course filled up our champagne because now we had a valid excuse to celebrate! We knew that as soon as we called either set of parents that it would be “official” and after we finally got the guts to make the calls, him: “Hey Mum, remember I was telling you I was seeing this girl? Well, we’re getting married!” and me: “Hi Mum, sure I know I just called off a long term relationship of 8 years AND a wedding, BUT! I’m getting married! No, I haven’t gone mad!” we sat back and toasted our future.

Hours later I remember waking from the champagne haze, head pounding, mouth dry and stomach churning full of butterflies and nerves and excitement. What had we done?! I looked at my sleeping man and knew, just knew as much as I knew when I was doing the wrong thing getting married to my ex, I just knew it right thing to do. It was what we were meant to do. It was all going to be OK.

And so far? Well 8 years and 2 kids later, constant reminders to him that there was a time that I actually did put out, I have to say, so far? Oh SO good.

Stuff and bits and that and, ah, stuff

2011-11-01T12:53:00.000+11:00

: We are in full party prep mode for the weekend trying to get bits & pieces done before the weekend so it's not super crazy when we have 5 extra people staying here on Saturday/Sunday. I *think* it's called being organised. I am not really that kind of person, but trying to be. Yesterday I cleaned out the reject shop of party supplies and anything with colour. It's not a rainbow party but a party filled with all the colours of the rainbow. A difference. Not really. It's pretty much going to be a rainbow party. We have 35 peeps coming for lunch after Harper's Christening. We have already cancelled Harper's Christening once before so it's high time we got her sorted out. She is two after all. I just know she will answer "no" to all the questions being asked by the Priest - it's going to be interesting...

: Yes, I am making one of those freaking Rainbow cakes that every other bastard on the internet has done. BUT...does it make a difference that I was meant to make it a year ago when we had to cancel her first Christening because we sold the house with a shorter than expected settlement and we had no house in which to have her party? I didn't think so. BUT...one difference with this Rainbow cake will be that it will be spectacularly dodgy. Already the cakes are different sizes - how do you equally halve a cake mix? But! They are being made, chucked in the freezer ready for icing on the weekend. Organisation!

: The whole not eating sugar thing kind of sucks when prepping for a soiree when there is sugar EVERYWHERE. I haven't had one bit though, am resisting licking bowls, and surprising myself with my willpower. I really want to try and stick to something - just to see if I can do it - and then see what the results are. I'm not sure what the end checkmate is - a month, or two? I haven't decided. I'm just sticking with it, forcing myself to exercise and see what happens. So far? Boring but good. I hate that people say that exercise just makes you feel better - mentally and physically - it sucks because it's true. I hate that!

Style alert: Hootkid

2011-10-31T13:51:00.000+11:00

Is there anything better than something delivered to you that's not a bill? Why yes, yes there is. That would be something you have ordered online. Even better than that though, is something that has been sent to you for free from the internet and EVEN BETTER than that, is something for free from the internet that is fabulous and wrapped in brown paper and tied up with string. And lucky old me got that very thing delivered to my door last week. See?

I still snort at the fact that I get sent "media releases" but only for a second because then I feel very important and only wish I had a lanyard to wear that said "Media: BabyMac". One day grasshopper, one day.

Caroline from Hootkid sent the girls a package filled with fabulous things from her new range of online clothing for kids. When she contacted me to say she would like to send stuff to me, I was immediately skeptical (because I just am) but one look at her website (first check of cool for me) I was "Oh. OK! Pretty! Look at the pretty!" and then I had a browse through her range and it immediately ticked all the rights boxes for me. Cool styles, reasonably priced, and then once the stuff arrived my last checklist - good quality. Here's what we got:

: A gorgeous little frock for Harper

: A totally fab scarf for Daisy and by GOD we need scarves around here. These are light cotton ones though so could be used as fashion rather than warmth.

: The sweetest Fedora hat for Harper which is honestly too sweet for words AND very good sun coverage as well

And some fab little clips as well. Here is Harper in her hat. Um, did someone say ADORABLE?

And here is her older sister who is totally pissed off that the hat doesn't fit her and not happy that she didn't get one. Whatevs 4 year old, tell your grumpy story walking...I didn't get ANYTHING. Want a fight?

Thanks so much Caroline for all the fab stuff and I have to say that I will be back online soon for another round of fab stuff. First on the wish list? These shorts for Harper for $29.95. Could they be any cuter? Could I sound any more like Chandler Bing?

So what's in it for you guys? Well, for BabyMac readers you can get $5 off your order by entering BABYMAC at checkout. How exciting - I am a code at checkout! I am always on the look out for great online shopping given our location to shops and this one is a winner in my eyes (and not just because they gave me free stuff...promise!) So off you go, have a look and start shopping!