Maggie is 1!

A combination of exhaustion and post everything stress sees me an emo wreck, and I’m not quite sure sure to start with this. But here we are, Miss Maggie, my sweet little baby girl, apparently is now 1.

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A whole year since she came here at 3.34pm on a cold but sunny Highlands Saturday afternoon (you can read about Maggie’s birth in this and this and this post). Even though it’s been a year since that day, I still can’t quite believe that I managed to get through that labour without any drugs, just me and Rob and then Mags doing it our own way. She was quiet and alert when she arrived. Inching her own way up my stomach, lifting her head to look around when her Dad talked, finding her way onto my breast and getting on with it. The overwhelm of being back at the beginning of parenthood and forgetting ALL the things were all pushed aside because she was just perfect. A perfect little lady who was happy to eat and sleep, be and SMILE. I swear this kid smiled on the first day and hasn’t stopped since.

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I will always remember those early months with Maggie as the winter that we hibernated. Everything stopped (except the fire) as we all got to know each other and find our way as a family of 5. They were such happy days, slow with no where to go and nothing to do.

I still wonder now how it was that we managed to get onto a plane for Italy with an almost 4 month old and do the trip we did. What a star she was, sleeping and happily getting on with it without too much disruption to her life. She’ll never remember those cobblestones in Rome, or that glorious Tuscan countryside, but we will always remember her happy little face being there.

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The sickness we were hit with at the start of the year certainly did stop those smiles for a while. But much in the way that Mags always has, she just got on with it and made sure that so long as Frank and her sisters were close by, she was happy enough. What a trooper.

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Yesterday was not much of a celebration. I must say that I have always been a little slack in the first birthday department (and given Rob’s big party on the weekend it was always going to be that way). We woke up and opened pressies in our bed as we do for everyone’s birthdays. We played at home with new toys, went out to lunch, had a big sleep in the afternoon and a dinner of leftovers.

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I’ve noticed so much change in Mags in the last week when I was away. It was the longest we had ever been apart and I missed her SO much. She’s talking so much more. She’s trying to stand and walk properly. She’s got the most hilarious facial expressions, like this one, where everyone and everything makes her frown. It’s hilarious.

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She’s growing up, and there’s nothing we can do about it.

I tell you, there’s so much I can say about what Maggie has done for me this past year. How she’s healed so much for me about birthing my girls, how she’s taught me to trust myself and my instinct as a mother. How I’ve been relaxed and able to actually enjoy my baby (rather than be terrified of it) how’s she’s made our family complete.

I’ll never forget that moment all those months/years ago when I was driving home from gymnastics with Harper in the back and I was crying (ok, sobbing) for this child that I knew was waiting to be born, that I was too selfish to have. It was all too hard to have another baby right? Being pregnant, waking in the night, breastfeeding, babies! ALL TOO HARD. But I knew that there was this kid, waiting. And when the time was right, I knew that all that stuff (the tiredness, exhaustion, baby stuff) doesn’t even matter. Not when you have a whole new person in your family. You don’t remember any of that stuff. I promise.

You remember the joy of seeing your older kids become BIG siblings and how they grow up and step up to that. You remember your husband enjoying the beautiful preciousness of babyhood because it all goes by too quickly. You remember those chicken legs, that smell of the newborn head. The firsts: eating, crawling, laughing, walking. You remember joy and love and that’s it.

There’s so very much in my life I am grateful for. Meeting Rob is my number one. Without him, I’d have, and be nothing that I am today. My girls. Our house. Our life in the country. Our dog. The travel we’ve done. The family and friends we have. But most of all, for me, it’s beautiful Maggie I am most grateful for. She’s done more than she will ever know. Bought more to my life, and to others than she will ever know. That smile! That goodness.  That purity. That reminder for me and all of us of all that is good in this world. She makes me want to make this place a better place for her. And her children. Thank goodness for babies. And thank goodness for Maggie Roslyn Macdonald. 1 year old. So loved. So precious.

Happy Birthday beautiful girl x

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And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to weep in the corner and take myself to bed…

Comments

  1. certified says:

    Well now I’m weeping reading your beautiful post. I wish I could grab the same perspective you’ve achieved this year, it sounds… your words sound powerful. The planets in my life haven’t lined up like that yet, I am still fighting with myself to have the same level of gratitude and grace.
    Maggie was just what you needed, when you needed it. Happy Birthday lovely little Maggie.

  2. Wishing Maggie a happy birthday, what a gift she is. Sweet post Beth, you almost had me in tears! There’s something about your third, maybe it’s just me but they seem to teach us such amazing things. Of course they are all special but… you know

  3. You go and have a good cry – I wept buckets the week my first baby turned one. I put it down to a combination of relief (“We made it!”), grief (“Where did my little baby go?”) and accumulated sleep debt.

    The monthly blog entries you have kept for Maggie have been awesome to read – they’re a tremendous archive of photos and memories.

    Congratulations to you and to Maggie!

  4. This is beautiful, and this is exactly how I felt when I was pregnant with Olive. Terrified of being too old and it all being too hard, of how her big brothers would react, how much more stress it would put on her daddy. But none of that was so. She was pure joy and delight from the very minute she was born. She was meant to be, just like your adorable Maggie. Happy first birthday to her!

  5. Totally gorgeous. xxx

  6. You are not the only one weeping after reading such a beautiful post. Happy birthday to my little namesake.???

  7. Sweet baby girls make the world go round. Happy birthday Mags and well done Beth. ❤️

  8. Oh that made me teary. Happy birthday, Maggie! Such a beautiful girl and such a beautiful family. I’m so glad she came into your lives. I’ll never forget sitting by the pool in Dubai talking about whether to go for number 3 or not, I’m so glad you did. xx

  9. Happy birthday gorgeous Maggie! It’s been such a pleasure to read about your arrival into the world & your first precious year. Your Mum is one awesome lady and you all make a fantastic team. Xxx

  10. i knew i shouldn’t have read this at work. but yet here i am, at my desk, weeping.
    i love the way you speak of your maggie, and all that she has done for you and your family.
    i know that feeling and i can wholeheartedly relate – as a mama to my one precious baby girl, i know how much she has healed me, taught me, and reminded me. in her short 22 months. huh?
    may the world be all the brighter for little girls, and little boys, everywhere.

  11. Karen M says:

    I would like to know how you eventually decided to have Maggie after your initial hesitation? My husband and I have a two year old little girl and are wondering if we should go again. But looking at Maggie makes me clucky and wonder if we should. Happy birthday Mags.

  12. Happy birthday to the beautiful Maggie! xxx

  13. Beth – stop making me cry at work.

    Trying to be profess here!

  14. Beth – stop making me cry at work.

    Trying to be profesh here!

    Happy birthday little lady…

  15. Happy Birthday to your Maggie! This post made me teary, have just hit my third trimester with my third baby. We so can’t wait to meet her xxx

  16. Vanessa says:

    Happy Birthday Maggie! Beth, what did you buy Maggie for her birthday? My youngest Ruby is 1 in two weeks and I’m hoping for some inspiration x

  17. Oh Happy Birthday Maggie! Gosh, what a beautiful post! It almost makes me want a third. Almost. Mostly because you talk about the healing she brought you, and I could do with some healing from my births. But I don’t, and have never seen us as a family of 5, this 4 business just seems to suit us.

  18. Belinda says:

    Wishing the happiest of 1st birthdays to Miss Maggie.
    There’s a lot to be said for peace isn’t there. That peace inside that you get when you realise how blessed you are and how happy your family is. Our family with its 4 men and mini men is my greatest achievement and I can hear thru your words that your life is exactly how it’s supposed to be.
    Well done Beth on the 1st year, you did it. ???

  19. Linda jenkins says:

    Lovely honest words as usual Beth – be kind to yourself maybe hibernate for a day or so ?

  20. Oh goodness gracious…. I so love you pic’s and the way you write. Happy Birthday Miss Maggie!

  21. Babies are so precious…and for so many reasons.
    Happy birthday beautiful Maggie!

  22. So beautifully written Beth. Thank you for sharing your heart and fears in this post. I’ll write it again, you have a beautiful family and it’s such a joy to come to your blog and read about what you share. I do hope you have time to rest this week after the busyness of last week and the weekend. Happy Birthday Maggie. You are just gorgeous

  23. Lisa Mckenzie says:

    Such a beautiful post Beth ,sweet Maggie Happy Birthday princess Xx

  24. You did it mama. You brought this kid who was waiting into the world. And you survived and thrived through the first year. Everyone deserves to experience the joy of a newborn and not the terror and fear. I can strongly relate to that. I am so glad I had my Maggie – Grace Murray Virgona – she was the baby I was able to enjoy and not get my tits in a constant tangle about.

  25. She has such a beautiful face, Miss Maggie does. Also one that says she shall never have the wool pulled over her eyes. Happy Birthday!

    On a side note, Daisy has grown up so much just looking at these pics!

  26. Oh Beth! You’ve made me cry now! As there is a big part of me that wonders if there is one more little baby waiting to be born around here…

    What precious words. I have loved following the story of Miss Maggie. What a lucky girl she is having you as her Mum. xx

  27. Reannon says:

    I am an emo mess too! I cried reading this, I cried yesterday just going about my daily chores, I cried watching KUWTK!!! That’s not normal!
    I remember reading the post where you wrote about the waiting baby, it was gorgeous, & now look! Look at gorgeous Maggie! Yay for Mags!
    I’m always so thankful that you share your thoughts & heart Beth, especially the family stuff like this. It’s a really special blog you’ve got here x

  28. Happy birthday Maggie!! Such BEAUTIFUL words. I can relate to so much of them as my third baby (who I was too scared to have), is 5 months old and I really do understand so much of what you’re saying. Although I DO remember the sleepless nights from my first two children quite well thank you very much. Still worth it though. Looking forward to hearing many more stories about Mags’ adventures over the next year

  29. I’m weeping in the corner too. Thank-you MAGS for being you. x

  30. Happy birthday Miss Maggie – I have so enjoyed reading your story so far. Congratulations Beth on serviving the first year. I can’t believe how BIG your other girls look in these photos, as if they have grown up over night. What a beautiful journey you have all had so far – I can only hope that we will have such smooth sailing with our third {and you never know, we may get the trifecta too – only just having boys instead of girls}.

  31. Melissa says:

    Oh wow Beth I’m filled with tears reading your post about Maggies birthday. So beautifully written. That little one truly is a blessing to you and your family. Happy birthday dear Mags x

  32. Cheekiechops says:

    Happy first birthday gorgeous Maggie
    Thank you Beth for sharing her , she is so sweet and I have loved watching her grow and smile in the last year

  33. Lisa Aherne says:

    A really beautiful post. I want to cry too.

  34. ONE?! Where did that time go? Happy Birthday, Maggie – you beautiful, beautiful soul. The world is a better place for having you in it. x

  35. Oh Beth!! What a gift your youngest is to you, to your family and friends, and to those of us who peek into your life via the blog.

    Thank GOODNESS for the healing power of Miss Maggie.

    Thank goodness.

    You are all utterly delicious.

  36. Beth my “Bonus Baby” is now 12 and almost as tall as me. We already had 3 and debated long and hard on having a 4th. My precious Mum was also ill with cancer and died at only 64 years old while we were deciding, which delayed us making a decision. Lulu has been a joy since she was born. Of course a challenge sometimes but she is a happy person and so much loved by everyone else in the family. Such a sense of family completed and the joy as a parent of seeing my children having relationships quite separate from me. My 23 and 20 year old daughters dote on the youngest one and they keep in touch with her by email if they are away. 16 year old son is more focussed on his friends at present, but that’s fine.

    Well Done

  37. Vaishali K says:

    Such a beautiful post and Beth you are so lucky to have such a cute bundle of happiness in your life. She is such a bright ray of sunshine to the people around her. Always so lovely to see her 🙂

  38. Katie Elliott says:

    Well now you have made me cry too. Such beautiful words! My Miles turned one last Friday and he is the absolute light of my life. So well said Beth. A very happy birthday to the gorgeous Maggie ?

  39. merilyn says:

    how special beth!
    maggie really is the most gorgeous little poppet!
    her expressions are amazing! she is an adorable individual!
    much love m:)X

  40. Christine says:

    I have been following you for a while now, love the recipes and all the stories. I have never commented before but after this I feel I must, that was just the most beautiful post, words fail me. So happy for you and your lovely family. PS your choc cake is othe only one I make now. Thanks so much.

  41. What a beautiful tribute to your daughter.
    And she is so lucky to have you as a mother!
    That was a really nice thing to read today. Thankyou!
    And happy birthday to Maggie!

  42. Beautiful post Beth, Happy 1st Birthday to gorgeous little Maggie, thanks for sharing her first year with us all xx

  43. mrs_woodette says:

    Happy Birthday Maggie!

    Definitely something special about that third baby & a big gap! I could have written this myself.

  44. Oh Beth what a beautiful post. Happy birthday beautiful Maggie, you bring joy to so many of us. Xx

  45. First birthdays are so gosh darn emotional! You’ve got me all weepy! Happy Birthday Maggie. Xxx

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