I am wondering...

OK, I am worrying a lot about...

: How Harper's operation will go
: How she will be when they try to put her under
: How she will cope with needles
: How she will be when she wakes up
: If she will be crazy and possessed
: Or if she will be sick and vomiting
: The stay in hospital
: When we get home
: The following 10 days
: If she will be able to swallow medicine
: If I'm going to have to use MOFO suppositories
: If I'm going to get any sleep in the next 10 days
: The sleep training that I know we will have to start again once she is well
: If she will ever sleep all night in her bed ever again
: If Rob and I will ever get a nights sleep together alone in a bed again
: Somehow figuring out how to make some money
: The garage flooding with all this rain
: Daisy's molluscum and if it will ever go away
: My GORD and stomach aches
: My inability to stop eating when I am so tired and a little stressed
: If I will ever get my exercise mojo back again
: The fact that the septic tank has still not been weeded
: If Harper's sleep will be better after the operation
: And what on earth I will do if it's not

Just the, you know, normal stuff to worry about on a Wednesday.

Kings with Wings

When I was pregnant with Daisy, Rob was working on a documentary following a friend of his who was dared to become a Sprint car driver. You know sprint cars? The ones that go around on dirt out at Parramatta Speedway where the guy that promotes them on the ad says "BE THERE!". Yep, those cars. His mate, Marty, thought that he would give it a try, for a laugh, and so Rob followed him on his journey. This meant that most Saturday nights over the summer Rob was out at the Speedway and I was stuck at home eating and being hot and heavily pregnant. I went out one time and the vibrations, noise and stress of watching Marty was enough to make that my last trip.

Daisy was born and as you know just celebrated her 5th Birthday and this week, another baby is born into the big, bad world....THE DOCUMENTARY! Yes, that's right, 5, maybe even 6 years after this started, it is finally getting air time. Oh how the creative industry can be a slow one...

Kings with Wings premieres on Foxtel/Austar on SPEED TV (Channel 505) this Thursday night 1st March 2012 at 10pm. Finally.

It's most definitely been a labour of love. A silly idea that took a lot of time and let's not mention money to put together (it's been called the world's most expensive home movie). Like anything to do with film or TV things take time, and in this case quite some time, and the amount of love and effort put into projects will never be fully understood or appreciated by the normal person sitting down to watch it.

But I know. And I want to say BRAVO to Rob and his ex business partner Dave and to Marty and Matt and all the people that worked on it. And if you want to have a laugh, or know someone that would like this kind of thing, well be sure to tune in and watch it and let the boys know what you thought. It's quite hilarious. Any day that a creative project gets on TV is a good day for people like Rob and these good days can come few and far between. So Rob, well done, take the time to enjoy your hard work, have a laugh, and a toast to your creative endeavours. Bravo my love x. Well done Dave, and thank GOD you didn't get killed Martin.


Kings With Wings Trailer from Robert Macdonald on Vimeo.

Kings with Wings
Premieres on Speed TV Channel 505 (Austar/Foxtel)
Thursday 1st March 2012 10pm
BE THERE!!!

An interview with one Miss H. Macdonald 2 yrs, 4 months

Smokin' hot. Not.

I smoked for about 6 years from the age of 21 to 28. Of course I sucked back on Winnie blues prior to that from the age of 14 on the way home from School or at the bush behind School, but I only really gave it a good crack when I was 21. I went overseas with some mates one summer break while at uni and I decided that seeing as I was in Europe and everyone else was smoking that I should too. I also got my eyebrow pierced in Budapest, because a few people were, OK, a hot Canadian backpacker I was trying to pick up was, and I wanted to impress him, so I got my eyebrow pierced too. And took up a packet of Marlborough Lights habit as well. Aaaaand I got the Canadian at the same time as well!

I was a pretty dedicated smoker. I had a ciggie with my coffee first thing in the morning before I even had a shower, and I ducked out the front of my corporate high rise like the best of them loving those breaks for a catch up with friends and a few minutes away from the stresses of my desk. Give me a wine and I'd give you a thousand fags, and I still believe that the first ciggie after a big, boozy dinner at a restaurant was the best ciggie you could have. The smell, the addiction, the health side effects and the ugliness of the whole thing were not so good and something that I hated each and every day I was a smoker.

When I moved in with Rob (a non smoker) into a rickety old terrace in Darlinghurst with bars on every door and window I had to physically go outside for a lonely cigarette. It lost a little of it's lustre. It was also winter and cold. I didn't allow myself to hang out a window so it meant going out the back, or onto the street to fight it our with the Ice addicts and homeless men that hung about in our street. One day I was so hung over and not bovvered that I just didn't have a ciggie. And then the next day the same. Before I knew what I was doing it was a 5 days without one, so I gave up. Just like that. Pretty clever hey? And I stuck it out and didn't really have another one for a year or so later, when I was out and drunk, but it most certainly didn't have any appeal. As the years went on I was still ciggie free but found myself dabbling a little here and there if I was out on the tiles with mates on a night off from the kids when I wanted to feel like the "old Beth". Not a Mum. Just Beth. When I was in Paris a few years ago I HAD to have a cigarette because my brother in law had them and I was in PARIS AND EVERYONE SMOKES. And more and more lately I find an excuse for one. I haven't bought a packet (actually I lie, I did share a pack with Maxabella last year) but I didn't take them home. Last week I caught up with a mate who smokes and so I had a couple with her over the course of the night, and then again on the weekend with my brother in law. Excuses, who needs them? Apparently I don't.

I guess once you are a smoker you are always a smoker right? The truth is I don't even enjoy them when I'm having them, but it's that same rebellion that the 14 year old me was attracted to all those years ago that has me again. Mum's aren't "meant to" smoke, but it feels good to "not meant to" for a few minutes these days. I think the last few months of being so over bad sleep, and giving so much to every member of the family and not myself that this is some kind of warped rebellion? How stupid can you get? If only I had the same attraction/rebellion to exercise as time to myself, or yoga, or something healthy and not cake or bread and cheese or wine or in this case, cigarettes.

Do you find yourself dabbling in the stupid when you are stressed? I guess it's human nature. And I guess that tomorrow I will convince myself that no alcohol, a run and a salad are all better choices. I am after all, 34 and not 14 anymore...

Turning

I'm getting my head around the fact in a few days time it's going to be MARCH. I still feel like it's the third week of January and yet the girls keep picking up Autumn leaves from the ground and pointing them turning on the trees when we are out on our walks. Whether we like it or not, it's coming. The seasons are on the move, days shorter, mornings darker, nights cooler. Autumn is just around the corner.

Without a doubt one of the things I love most about living in this part of the world is the seasonal changes. You can feel the changes, not just see them, you can smell them. My very most favourite season of all is Autumn. I love everything to do with it. The colours. The weather. Easter. The slowing down. The preparation for the cold winter ahead. I adore it.

With the seasons changing I also love the constant reminder that life goes on. Whether we're ready or not, it's moving each and every day. Sure it was Spring when we last got a good nights sleep and it might be spring again before we have things sorted in that department, the days will keep turning and the seasons changing.

Summer 2011/12 will be remembered by me for it's pathetically cool, wet weather. For having the fire on about 3 times too many in December! For washing hanging inside all the time, for endless sleepless nights, for the dryer on more than it should be and of course for some glorious days in between: on top of the highest mountain in Australia, long days in the hot sun poolside at EIEIO, or for long summery afternoons enjoyed in the cool shade of the trees in our lovely garden. So long summer, I hope that next year you have a long, hard think about the areas in which you didn't perform so well namely in being HOT, and consistently so. But, more than all of that, I hope that the next time we meet that I am looking a whole lot fresher and well rested than I was this summer. It's been, um, real. Later.

What's your best 2011/12 summer memory?

Summer lovin'

You know when you have one of those perfect days? Sun shining, breeze a blowing, surrounded by people that you love dearly, doing things that make you happy like chatting, and laughing and eating and drinking with no where to be other than in the moment? Yesterday was one of those days.

It was just what I needed.

Colours of my Friday

There's white light streaming through my windows that I painstakingly cleaned yesterday. Clean windows make this Mama happy.

There's all the colours of the rainbow on my kitchen bench from my rambling garden outside and the spilling over fruit bowl from the shopping this morning. Stocked cupboards and fresh flowers from my garden also make this Mama happy.

There's red from the photinia hedge out the front which looks so lovely against the green grass that is growing before our eyes. And some red from the Dahlia's just picked up from the fruit shop.

Pillows have been plumped up, beds made, fridge stocked with booze and food and the house cleaned. Which means one thing right? Visitors! My little sister and her husband (yes, the chef) and my surrogate sister are coming down for a few nights. We shall eat, drink, natter, eat, drink in the sunshine, play with the kids, laugh, sit by the fire pit and eat and drink. It shall be quite marvellous and I just about can't wait! Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Doing today what you put off 2 months ago

My desk has been filled with ever increasing piles of "stuff" lately. Bills that have been paid and need filing, cheques to be banked, School newsletters with things that need to be signed and returned, lists that keep being added to with annoying things like "close bank account". I just haven't been able to get anything done because frankly I am too tired and just getting Daisy ready for School and out the door is already an effort. I hate feeling like this - unproductive.

These past few days I have actually started to get some stuff done. Cheques banked, accounts closed, trips to the post office to send stuff off, and new packages picked up and then yesterday I managed to get Rob's Christmas present up on the wall. It only took me two months. I gave him 7 of the photos that Tim took last June framed and now they line the hallway down to the bedrooms. Sure, they are slightly wonky and not all exactly lined up because I did them by sight, and quickly because I am a bull at a gate, but they are done. And up. And magnificent.

Today I think it's going to be sunny. And maybe even the next days after that too. I'm going to wash like a crazy woman. I'm going to get stuck into the garden before our weekend visitors arrive. I'm going to go back to the bank and open those bank accounts for the girls. I'm going to try and make my hyper toddler who is now off the steroids and not so much Ventolin a little quieter, and calmer because she has been CRAZY these past few days. Better, but most certainly hyper and crazy. I'm even going to walk to School with the kids and maybe even go for a run. Maybe not. It's not get too carried away...

Family shoot: The Wellington-Taylor-Smythes

Just so you know that things are never too serious around these parts, I had to share with you something Rob got up to late Sunday afternoon when Daisy and I went out for some ice cream. We came back, and he was plugging away in Lightroom to come up with...this. He even put it up on Facebook in an album. People must think he is a little strange. I happen to think he is a little, well, fabulous.

Tim, watch out, there is a new Family photographer on the circuit, capturing those "special" family moments. The Wellington-Taylor-Smythes had quite the fancy house too.

The fact that he set up the dollhouse so nicely, when it usually looks like it has been ransacked, then took the photos, edited them and whacked them into an album only makes me love him all the more. Weirdo.

Life keeps getting in my way

The weekend went by just as quickly as it came around last week. The days seems to keep starting, then before I know what's happened and I think it's time to pack down on the couch and relax, it's time to get up and do the School pick up, then it's something after School. February is over next week for God's sake. Plans are being made for Easter.

Sunday afternoon the cold that I had passed onto Harper from being so run down and exhausted had a turn for the worse as she struggled to breathe. She coughed (and did the old cough/vomit 3 times) and coughed and no matter what she did, she could not catch her breath. Having suffered as an asthmatic my whole life I knew the feeling well, and despite there being the biggest storm we have had in quite some time on at the time, I bundled her up and we headed off to Emergency. Even in our small country town all the crazies had descended on ER on Sunday night in the middle of the storm so we sat and waited our turn and eventually were placed in a bed for a few hours before being admitted for the night. The poor wee thing had to have ventolin every 20 minutes for a few hours, then every 2 hours. It was not fun having to wake an exhausted toddler from her sleep to hold her down while she had oxygen and ventolin pumped into her. I got 2, maybe 3 hours sleep tops on Sunday night.

Yesterday she was slightly better, but crazier than ever from the steroids that she had been given and did I mention exhausted? We rested, slept a little, watched DVD's and had more drugs pumped into her. We were eventually given leave when she only needed to have the ventolin every 3 hours.

The minute we got home her grey complexion got brighter. She exploded with joy when she saw her big sister and immediately gave Daisy the Red Cross teddy she was given in hospital. We all crashed into bed (even me at 7.30pm) and after a few scheduled wakes in the night for more ventolin, we all had over 11 hours of restful sleep last night. Dear GOD we needed it. Today life goes on, Daisy will go to School, Rob will head to Sydney for work, and I will try and get that little lady rested and well enough for her surgery next week when things will all go downhill. Again.

Now THIS is a dinner party

You may recall a lunch that my sister and her husband hosted last year, or maybe it was even the year before that now. Now these two seriously know how to entertain their guests. You think I can put on a spread for visitors? These guys are in another planet. People are desperate to get an invite for dinner, or a simple BBQ because it is rarely ever that. They plan, they decorate, they supply amazing wines and the food is always exceptionally good. When I grow up, I want to be able to host a dinner party like this one.

A few weeks ago now they hosted a 13(!) course degustation for some close friends of theirs who are getting married. The couple to be wanted to sample some wines for their wedding, and my brother in law {the chef} had a week off work so he suggested this dinner. He had a week to plan it, prep it and when she put up this album on her Facebook page I knew I just had to share it with the world. It is exceptional. Chris deserves all the praise in the world, and I hoped some of you might just give it to him. So. Without any further waffling from me, I give you THE home cooked dinner party of 2012, prepared lovingly by the amazing Chris Mitchell who I am honoured to call my brother in law.

Sit back and enjoy!

Pre: Coffin Bay Oyster with Eschallote and Smoked Salt
2011 Redoak Dry Irish Stout, Sydney, N.S.W

One : Ocean Trout ceviche
2004 Vintage Perrier-Jouet Belle Epoque

Two: Shark Bay Scallop with venison chorizo & caramelised pineapple pickle
2010 Grosset "Polish Hill" Riesling Clare Valley SA

Three: Lime and Green Tea ice and foam

Four: Red cabbage Gazpacho with grainy mustard ice cream
2010 Kooyong "Buerrot" Pinot Gris Mornington Peninsula VIC

Five: Bucette Mon Sire Chevre with Corella Pear crisps, Manuka honey & toasted black sesame
2008 Didier Dageuneau Blanc Fume de Pouilly, Loire Valley, France

Six: Poached & BBQ Quail with Toasted Fennel & Young Garlic
2010 Shaw & Smith ‘M3’ Chardonnay, Adelaide Hills S.A.

Seven: Five Spiced Duck Breast with Baby Asian Vegetables & Puffed Rice

2010 Felton Road ‘Bannockburn’ Pinot Noir, Central Otago, NZ

Eight: Intense Lamb Jelly with Cucumber Salad
2001 Penfolds Bin 407 Cabernet Sauvignon, Barossa Valley, SA

Nine: 6 Hour Slow Roasted Rib of Beef with Red Wine Jus, Blue Cheese Butter and Triple Cooked Chips
2004 Hardys Eileen Hardy Shiraz, McLaren Vale, S.A.

Ten: Tier of Melon & Church st Mint

Eleven: Camomile Panacotta with Caramelised Strawberries & Strawberry Sherbet
2010 Cape Mentelle Botrytis Viognier, Margaret River, WA

Twelve: Millionaires Shortbread
2010 Lamonts ‘Navera’, Margaret River, WA

Thirteen: Churros
Espresso & loose Leaf Tea

I know, right? AMAZING.com.au/iwantaninvitenexttime. Such amazing talent to prepare such a feast. I believe that he got most of the dishes from Heston's latest book. It deserves a standing ovation don't you think? Bravo Chrissy!!